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Nov. 19th, 2014 10:09 am
the_rck: (Default)
Since I signed up for the most recent multi-fandom friending meme, I thought I should write a little introduction to myself, just in case anyone pops over here from there.

Note 25 Sept 2015: I'm dealing with breast cancer right now, and I talk about it uncut. I'm doing well and not in any danger, but I know that many people would rather not read about it. I should be past everything but the tamoxifen by the end of this year.

Bits and pieces about me. Possibly more than you ever wanted to know. )

[sticky entry] Sticky: Sticky Post

Jun. 19th, 2037 04:56 pm
the_rck: (Default)
I mirror at least 95% of my content on LJ and DW. Read where you're most comfortable.

My friending policy is pretty open. If you want to read my journal, go ahead. I won't mind. I don't automatically read in return. I used to, but my time's a little more limited now than it was then. If you feel like dropping me a comment to let me know why you friended me, I'd appreciate it. Sometimes I have no idea at all and wonder.

If I'm reading you, I'm interested in something that's in your journal. I don't expect to be read in return but certainly won't mind if I am. I know that I have more time for reading online than most people do, and I know that my entries about my every day life, parenting, chores, etc. aren't of much interest to most people. That's all fine.

I don't lock very much. Right now, it's just an occasional post about my adolescent daughter. She's embarrassed by me talking about her online, so this is a compromise. My book logging, DVD logging and fic announcements will always be unlocked.

Also, if you stop reading my journal, feel free to take me off your list. I won't be upset. (Though if I think we know each other well or if we're acquainted offline, I may inquire as to why.) I may or may not stop reading you in response. It will depend on what sort of content you post and whether or not you lock most of of it.

I don't post fics on LJ or DW. I don't post fic fragments on LJ or DW. My fic can be found at my website or at AO3 ([archiveofourown.org profile] the_rck) or, for those things not explicit, at fanfiction.net as therck. I mostly write for Weiss Kreuz and The Chronicles of Narnia, but I've written a fic or two in a wide variety of fandoms for various exchanges.

I don't often use cut tags. Mostly, I use them for lists where I think people will only be interested in some items and for discussions of writing that go more than a paragraph or two or that have details that I think might bother some readers.
the_rck: (Default)
Scott has scavenged a hard drive from one of his old laptops. It remains to be seen how hard it will be to restore my data and programs. Right now, he's trying to clear his old data off it because there's almost no space there.

We have a program that makes hourly backups, so I probably won't lose files. I'm not sure about applications, though. We've never needed to restore from backup before.
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My hard drive just died completely. Scott thinks it's irretrievable. He won't have time today to work on it due to family obligations.

Cordelia and I are both feeling terrible, but... Family obligations. Scott is cranky and snarling at everything. Great fun.

I keep thinking there has to be a good day this weekend, and life keeps saying no.
the_rck: (Default)
Scott and I managed our errand at the bank yesterday (transferring Social Security money from Cordelia's account to ours) and picked up food at the Syrian place on the way home. I was a lot less hungry than I had thought I was, so I didn't eat all that much. I ended up napping off and on for most of the afternoon and evening. We're currently planning to go out for the birthday celebration today if I feel well enough.

Right now, I'm awake, but I've still got pretty bad cramps. I think I can manage with the cramps as long as I don't need to walk too far or for too long.

I managed to start my Not Prime Time story last night in spite of still having no ideas on the plot. I know the characters and starting situation, but there needs to be a goal/event of some sort because the characters aren't going to come together unless forced by circumstances. I don't know... Is there a random disasters generator somewhere online? I also need to find where I saved off the canonical timeline so that I can figure out what year it is in the story. Maybe there's something real world that I could use. Not a real disaster-- that would be tacky at best-- but some hint of something that could have been and wasn't.

And the chronology I've got doesn't cover the pertinent part of canon. There's a time skip between what it does cover and when I need to set this. I don't know how long that is. I don't think it can be less than two years, and it seems unlikely to be more than five, but I don't know.

I also wrote another 700 words on other things last night.

I was considering signing up for another fic exchange, but the deadline for that is some unspecified time today, and I keep looking at the options and realizing that what I would be likely to write and what I would like to read are both out of step with what other people seem to be interested in. Maybe I could write a treat or something if I have time and inspiration or do a pinch hit if I see one that's a good match.

I have a library book due tomorrow that can't be renewed. I haven't started it yet, so I rather suspect I'm not going to. Ah, well. I can put another hold on it. The waitlist only has one person on it, so I should get it fairly soon.
the_rck: (Default)
It's very frustrating that Scott set aside a day for me because of my birthday and all I can do is lie down with a hot water bottle pressed to my belly. And that's after taking naproxen to deal with the cramps. I know my body needs this, but my last period was in October. Couldn't this have happened last week? Or next week?

I finally stopped sneezing and such around 11 this morning. The key when this happens is for me to dehydrate myself which kind of freaks out people who are trying to take care of me. Most of the time, drinking more water is good when I'm sick, but this particular thing won't stop until I dry out enough.

I slept badly last night. Part of that was the runny nose (I didn't even try to use the c-PAP), part of that was the cramps, and part of it was different parts of my body wanting different temperatures. My upper body was cold, but I had to keep moving my feet out from under the blankets and shifting around to find cool spots on the bed for them. Sadly, no cool spot ever last more than about four seconds.

I took a cab to my appointment yesterday and then took the bus home afterward. I probably should have either taken a cab home or waited for Scott to pick me up. I almost missed my stop due to just completely spacing out with exhaustion. I did a little bit of walking around and playing Ingress after my appointment. I'd probably have done a little more, but Cordelia's after school meeting got canceled, and she was worried about where I was.
the_rck: (Default)
Yesterday afternoon, my laptop decided that Facebook was not a site I should be able to access. I kept getting a message, when I tried to go there, that the site couldn't be verified because it didn't have a valid security certificate. Scott was having no problems getting in, so I assumed a problem with my browser and cleared the cache and the cookies and restarted it. No joy. I tried with Chrome and got the same error. I couldn't get at any page in the domain, not a one.

I restarted my laptop entirely, and that seems to have done it, but... I have no idea what happened there.

I just want to be able to see pictures of my friends' kids and pets and gardens and...

There are two reactions/emojis that I really want on Facebook. One is an option for ::hugs:: when nothing else is quite right as a response to a post. The other is an 'I boggle' in addition to the 'Wow' because I tend to skew Wow as positive/impressed. That may not be how everyone uses it. It's just how I tend to. Something for 'I boggle' would differentiate between positive or neutral wows and a negative.
the_rck: (Default)
I was hoping to go into town a couple of hours before my appointment today and get lunch and walk around a bit, playing Ingress, but I don't think that's going to happen. I've been sneezing violently off and on. It's raining. Oh, and I have cramps. (On one level, a period would be a good thing, but I really don't want one, not ever again. Also, it would be very difficult for the timing to be worse.)

Cordelia's best friend is home with a concussion. A laptop fell on her head at school yesterday. My assumption is that she was getting one out of the lower rack on the cart while someone else pulled out and dropped one from the upper rack. I wouldn't expect that to be a fall of more than a couple of inches, though, so maybe not. It's just that she's a very tall girl. I can't think how else a laptop would be in a position to fall on her. Even if she was seated, no one would be likely to carry a laptop high enough to drop it on her. And Cordelia said 'fell on her' rather than that someone dropped it on her.

At any rate, Cordelia wants to do something for her friend but rejected every suggestion we made. I'm going to email the girl's mother to ask if there's anything she'd enjoy. If the mother suggests something, I think Cordelia will feel more comfortable with it than she does if we, her parents, suggest things.

Oh, I know! Every time Cordelia visits her friend wants her to bring a particular DVD. A copy of that would probably be a great gift.

Scott's mother called in the middle of my planned nap time yesterday morning. She was taking a walk while Scott's father was at rehab (for heart trouble) and wanted to chat with someone during it. She's very disappointed that my c-PAP isn't making me feel better. Hers apparently did, right away. I explained that, while I wear it, I sleep like Cordelia was six months old and sick and sleeping in the next room. As of tomorrow, it'll be three weeks since I got the dratted thing.

Scott's of the opinion that three weeks is long enough that I should have adjusted and that, since I haven't, I need to talk to someone at the sleep disorders clinic. I'm not sure what they'd have to offer. I don't think it's the specific gear so much as any gear at all. I sleep better when I take Ativan, but I really can't do that every night.

I wrote 1500 words last night but still haven't managed to start my NPT story. I realized after talking to a friend that I was focusing on the wrong character. That other character still needs to be featured prominently, but there's another character who, when I talk about my ideas, is more pivotal. Since that other character was also requested, shifting focus makes sense.
the_rck: (Default)
No headache today, but I didn't get rid of yesterday's until nearly bedtime even though I tried to nap. I think that drinking extra water helped more than the attempt to nap. Pity I can't drink lots of water and then try napping. Sadly, it doesn't tend to work so well.

I'm probably going to try to nap again today. I feel like I might be able to, and my legs are aching in a way that tells me my body needs sleep.

I wrote 300+ words yesterday. It's not much, but it's more than I've managed most days this month.

I'm trying to come up with ideas for things to do while Scott's off work on Friday (and of things that need to be done then). It'll be my birthday, so I want some of it to be fun. Cordelia is currently planning to be out that evening. I think she's clear that we're not going to host movie night on my birthday. She may still ask, though, if none of the other girls can host. I just don't want to spend the evening stuck in our bedroom so that the girls can pretend we're not home. Spending those hours outside the house sounds like a kind of hell.
the_rck: (Default)
I woke with a headache this morning. It actually started before Scott's alarm. Food and caffeine helped a little. The next step is medication and, if I can manage it, a nap.

Scott worked late last night. He said that money will cover the new power supply for my laptop. Cordelia had her last training for volunteering at the science center camps. Apparently the adults doing the training pretended to be campers so that the trainees could practice. Cordelia said, "I guess they couldn't afford real children."

Mostly, I spent a lot of time yesterday watching Murder She Wrote episodes so that I could return that DVD set to the library. I also cat waxed more than a little. I intended to try to nap, but every time I felt like maybe I could, I looked at the clock and realized that I actually couldn't. Hopefully, today, I'll manage to lie down by 9:00 or 9:30.

I have a load of laundry in the dryer right now, and it's trash day. Apart from that, I don't have anything that absolutely has to be dealt with. Maybe I'll empty the wastebaskets before I nap. That will only take about five minutes as there are four wastebaskets, none of them heavy or hard to get to.

With a little luck, I'll manage to write later today. I'm still searching for a first sentence for my NPT story. Maybe I should pick a POV character first?
the_rck: (Default)
I'm glad we went to the viewing. We hadn't seen Mary and her husband (also named Scott) for quite a long time. Mary shared a house with Scott and his brother during college, and her husband moved into that house when my Scott moved out.

We spent most of our time talking to a third college friend, Jim, who also lived in that house and who is Mary's cousin. Jim's kind of responsible for me and Scott meeting in the first place. We mostly talked games. He's been playing that Pandemic version that can only be played once but that takes a couple dozen longish sessions to get through. He says it's a lot of fun and very difficult to master. He compared the monetary investment to buying a videogame that one only expects to play once or twice. He also commented that he's pretty sure that the reason his tabletop RPG group is stable is that none of them have kids. Which makes sense.

We picked up dinner at Plum Market on our way home. Scott got a salad and some mac 'n' cheese. We got some sushi for Cordelia and seem to have chosen well enough for her to eat it all. I got an assortment from the hot buffet. Most of it was just barely okay. There's one dish that I took a small amount of that turned out to be really, really good, but I was worried that it might have hidden dangers for me or even just have flavor I didn't like. If I'd been able to sample it first, I'd probably have taken just that and the steamed vegetables.

Scott is expecting to have to work late tonight, so he stopped at the center and cancelled Cordelia's PT appointment for this evening. The last time she was in, the therapist said that she might be ready to be discharged, so the hope is that we won't need to make up the appointment. I did mention that it was feasible for me to get her there and home again, but Scott wasn't keen on that.

I see my primary care doctor on Thursday. I need to make a list of things to talk to her about. I suspect that my difficulties sleeping will end up high on the list. Those are at least 50% scheduling (family obligations, medications, meals and reflux, Scott and Cordelia needing to be able to do things that are mildly noisy but enough to keep me awake) issues, but there's a good chunk that relates to the c-PAP and even more that relates to anxiety and to other physical issues.

Talking about sleep and schedules for my own benefit )

I just looked at the list of WIP that I used to follow on FFnet and discovered that I haven't checked on any of them in almost five years. I didn't realize it had been that long since I was reading fic regularly enough to keep going with that. I didn't have a FFnet account at that point, so I just kept an offline list with the url of the most recent chapter and the date of the last update. After two or three years of no updates, I'd gradually stop checking (unless the story was just that good...).
the_rck: (Default)
Title: The Shadows at Her Will
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: E
Length: 11,819 words (four chapters)
Pairings: Tom Riddle/Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle/Ginny Weasley
Characters: The above plus Charlie Weasley
Warnings/Tags: Noncon/rape, Dark Ginny Weasley, Femdom, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, BDSM
Notes: The story diverges during The Chamber of Secrets. The first two chapters are gen. The last two are not. There's a decade and a half time skip between. The Tom/Ginny is consensual and doesn't start until she's of age.
Summary: Tom was quite sure this wasn't how things had been supposed to work, but in the end, he wasn't unhappy about it.

The fic at AO3.



Title: Nothing False and Possible
Fandom: Chronicles of Amber
Rating: M
Length: 10,834 words in one chapter
Pairing: Luke/Merlin
Warnings: Dubious consent, Ambiguous/open ending, Merlin in female form via shapeshifting, Cousin incest, Light bondage, Discussion of forced pregnancy, Discussion of death and torture, Technically adultery
Notes: Part of the House of Sulfur and Mercury sequence but definitely stands alone.
Summary: Merlin searches for a way out of the cave where Luke has trapped him. Seducing Luke seems like a potentially viable option, but it keeps getting more and more complicated.

Fic at AO3.


Title: No Decisions to Master
Fandom: Chronicles of Amber
Rating: E
Length: 1,476 words
Pairing: Luke/Merlin
Warnings: Noncon, PWP, Toture, Psychological Torture, Non-consensual bondage
Notes: This is a side story for The Fruit of Our Intents and marks the low point for Luke in that. The low point went on a long time, but this is typical. Can be read without having read The Fruit of Your Intents and isn't necessary for reading and understanding that. Luke POV.
Summary: Merlin has fun with Luke. Luke doesn't enjoy it nearly so much.

Fic at AO3.



I've also added chapters to We Are Where We Began if anyone's following that. I'm at nine chapters for that now and have no idea when I'll find the end. There's a pregnancy (Merlin in female human form) and a child resulting from it. Just in case that's something you very much do or don't want to read.
the_rck: (Default)
I managed to get my laptop mostly charged last night, so I'm going to post while I can.

My recipient for the Fandom5K pinch hit never commented or gave any indication of having read the story. Now that the authors' names have been released, it looks like they must have defaulted because there isn't a Fandom5K work listed on their works page. I had been wondering because it looks as if they normally comment on gift fics. Of course, I had also wondered if I'd somehow stepped on an unstated DNW. I still don't know either way. The story hasn't been particularly popular anyway.

Cordelia is not going to the play that we expected her to go to. Her friend canceled. My suspicion is that her parents waited too long to get tickets and that the show sold out. I'm not sure what we're going to do with Cordelia this afternoon. I don't want to leave her alone for hours and hours (it's an hour to the funeral home, so that plus however long we stay plus getting home and probably plus us stopping somewhere for food or something). I'm going to see if she's willing to invite the friend she would have gone to the play with to come and visit.

I slept most of yesterday. Well, for certain values of slept. I'm not sure what else to call it. I woke relatively frequently and, each time, found I'd lost track of a significant chunk of an hour. I didn't really wake up until after dinner, and I'm not sure what did it then. I slept late this morning, too, and still kind of want to close my eyes and drowse. Maybe I should send Scott to Wendy's. A double with cheese usually wakes me up pretty thoroughly.

I'm eying another fic exchange but hesitating because the writing period overlaps entirely with NPT (and because I haven't managed to start my NPT story yet). I may just see if I can treat or offer a pinch hit. A story for the exact right prompt usually writes very fast.

I am way, way behind on answering comments. I may still get to some of them, but many are probably going to drop into the abyss of me having meant well. I apologize for that.

Cordelia's watching The Return of the King now. I'm not sure if she's actually enjoying it or if she's simply determined to finish. It's not the sort of thing she usually watches.

The mother who's trying to organize a party for the eighth grade class is frustrated because only fifteen families have responded. There are only forty kids in the class, so fifteen families is more than one third. That's actually pretty spectacular as such things go. I think she's hoping for more because some of what she wants to do is likely to be expensive. One of the places she's looking at is $100 an hour for a minimum of three hours. I favor the outdoor option-- Renting the shelter is $50 for the entire evening. But the outdoor option makes music more of a challenge (some shelters have electricity, and some don't), and she wants a photobooth. It's also likely to be hot by mid-June.

But $50 plus some for entertainment and food is doable for fifteen families. I don't think $300 plus is so much. I also think that food may be easier to deal with for the outdoor option. The indoor site has kitchen facilities, but it's not a huge space, and I don't think it would easily accommodate different families making their own food or a potluck buffet.

I like the idea of a party. These kids have been together for three years, and they're going to scatter to many different high schools. I don't think more than ten of them are going to any one school. I'm not even sure as many as ten are going to any one school.

Scott replaced one of our bedroom outlets yesterday. It had gotten dangerous, and it was one that we knew clearly how to cut power to. (What's on each circuit breaker is kind of random and really hasn't been thoroughly mapped.) I'd like to replace other old outlets in the bedroom, but those are harder to access than this one.

We had a power surge when the electricity came back on Friday that fried all of Scott's electrical lawn care equipment that was charging in the garage. He's not sure whether those are repairable or not or how much repairing them would cost relative to replacement. He specifically mentioned the leaf blower and the trimmer. I don't recall him saying anything about the mower.

I have no idea why the leaf blower would have been charging in May. We're not likely to want it until September or October.
the_rck: (Default)
I am currently without a way to charge my laptop over the weekend. During the week, I can use Cordelia's cord, but she's using it now and has been all day.

This time, Scott broke my power cord. It will be Tuesday or Wednesday before a replacement arrives.
the_rck: (Default)
We've been without power for at least two hours (I was trying to nap and missed when it went). DTE has no estimate for when we'll get power back and no idea why we lost power. I think we're low priority because there aren't many people in our zip without power and are many more in other parts of the area.
the_rck: (Default)
I slept really badly last night. I spent a lot of time half-awake and thinking that the head gear for my c-PAP was on wrong without being able to figure out how. Looking at it now, with light, I can't see any explanation for my problems. I suppose it's possible that the whole thing was one of those semi-dreams, similar to me getting the inexplicable idea that I must lie on my right side (or my left or my back) or dire things will happen. When I wake completely, I always end up trying to figure out if there's any basis in reality for what I remember thinking because I'm never quite sure if there's something real there that I'm just forgetting.

I'm only up right now because Cordelia wanted me to sit with her before school. Having been up for two hours, I need to wind myself down a bit, so I'm listening to a podcast while I write this. I might write up our grocery list.

Cordelia's about two hours into The Two Towers. She's finding the battle scenes kind of tedious, but she seems determined to get through all three movies. She considers Groot better/cuter than the Ents.

A college friend of Scott's lost her mother a few days ago. Scott and I don't really have a way to get to the funeral which will be Monday morning, but we can go to the viewing which is Sunday afternoon/evening. It's an hour drive away. The current plan is to go to that while Cordelia's at a play. She's going to that with her best friend, and I'm going to ask her friend's mother if they can keep Cordelia until we get back.

I have a library book due Sunday that I can't renew. I'm halfway through it and very much want to finish. I've just stopped at a point where I don't want to deal with what I think will happen next. Once I've gotten some sleep, I think I may try skipping ahead a few pages to see if I'm right and whether or not I can deal with it. I've also got a can't be renewed book due a week from Sunday. I've also got four hours of library DVDs to watch. I can renew that set, but I'd like to return it.
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Cordelia decided that she was close enough to done with her big project (all that's left is eight more illustrations) that we could celebrate last night after all, so we went to dinner at Saica. She tried something new. Actual raw fish sushi, a tray with a variety of different things. I got a bento and brought most of it home; that fed me and Cordelia for breakfast this morning.

Cordelia liked her presents. We mostly got her books. I watched her wishlist for months and jumped on books when good used copies came up. There were two Funko Pop figures, too. General Leia and Finn, if I recall correctly. She says that Baby Groot is still her favorite. She also thought that General Leia looks weird because of not having a mouth.

I'm still not sleeping well with the c-PAP. I'm waking more often. It used to be that I could sleep about six hours without needing the bathroom, but now it's a maximum of about three hours. At that point, I wake fully and won't get back to sleep unless I empty my bladder. I think that, on school nights, I'm getting about five hours of sleep. No wonder my legs ache and I'm starting to get headaches a lot.

Generally, by the time I'm ready to nap, it's lunch time, and then there's not enough time after lunch to actually sleep before Cordelia gets home. She doesn't like me napping when she's home and will come in to check on me every twenty minutes.

The lab test results from my ER trip were released to me today. I have no idea what most of the things tested for are, but I think there's at least one thing I want to ask my primary care doctor about when I see her next week. The chest x-ray showed a 'slightly elevated left hemidiaphragm,' and that's not something that's ever been mentioned on any previous chest x-ray. Dr Google gives scary information about that that I really think doesn't apply here because they wouldn't have let me leave the ER as casually as they did if they thought I had, say, an abdominal tumor.

I've turned on the air conditioner now. I need to schedule a tune up for the system. It was 85F in here when I checked the thermostat last night, and we try to keep it a bit cooler than that, especially since I'm still having problems with feeling overheated in spite of having stopped the Tamoxifen.
the_rck: (Default)
One of my senators just sent out an email that included this paragraph:

"In case you haven't heard the news, they finally appointed a special counsel to get to the bottom of President Trump’s connections with Russia. It will be Robert Mueller, former director of the FBI under both President Bush and President Obama."

May 2017

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