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Nov. 19th, 2014 10:09 am
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Since I signed up for the most recent multi-fandom friending meme, I thought I should write a little introduction to myself, just in case anyone pops over here from there.

Note 25 Sept 2015: I'm dealing with breast cancer right now, and I talk about it uncut. I'm doing well and not in any danger, but I know that many people would rather not read about it. I should be past everything but the tamoxifen by the end of this year.

Bits and pieces about me. Possibly more than you ever wanted to know. )

[sticky entry] Sticky: Sticky Post

Jun. 19th, 2037 04:56 pm
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I mirror at least 95% of my content on LJ and DW. Read where you're most comfortable.

My friending policy is pretty open. If you want to read my journal, go ahead. I won't mind. I don't automatically read in return. I used to, but my time's a little more limited now than it was then. If you feel like dropping me a comment to let me know why you friended me, I'd appreciate it. Sometimes I have no idea at all and wonder.

If I'm reading you, I'm interested in something that's in your journal. I don't expect to be read in return but certainly won't mind if I am. I know that I have more time for reading online than most people do, and I know that my entries about my every day life, parenting, chores, etc. aren't of much interest to most people. That's all fine.

I don't lock very much. Right now, it's just an occasional post about my adolescent daughter. She's embarrassed by me talking about her online, so this is a compromise. My book logging, DVD logging and fic announcements will always be unlocked.

Also, if you stop reading my journal, feel free to take me off your list. I won't be upset. (Though if I think we know each other well or if we're acquainted offline, I may inquire as to why.) I may or may not stop reading you in response. It will depend on what sort of content you post and whether or not you lock most of of it.

I don't post fics on LJ or DW. I don't post fic fragments on LJ or DW. My fic can be found at my website or at AO3 ([archiveofourown.org profile] the_rck) or, for those things not explicit, at fanfiction.net as therck. I mostly write for Weiss Kreuz and The Chronicles of Narnia, but I've written a fic or two in a wide variety of fandoms for various exchanges.

I don't often use cut tags. Mostly, I use them for lists where I think people will only be interested in some items and for discussions of writing that go more than a paragraph or two or that have details that I think might bother some readers.
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I slept badly again last night. It was really hard to relax and fall asleep. If I lie on either side, my left elbow hurts enough to wake me. If I lie on my back, the strap for my c-PAP headgear slides upward until the nose piece is no longer actually over my nose which also wakes me. I got up when Scott went to bed, even though I was tired enough to need more sleep, because Cordelia was already up.

Things with Scott's work schedule are a bit up in the air. They source their raw materials in Texas and so have a supply bottleneck even though they're facing both their busiest time of year due to special orders for cider season and an unusually high demand for the things they make all year. This worries me that they'll only give Scott one day to transition back to day shift by making him work next Saturday night into Sunday morning and then expecting him to start back on first shift at 6:15 Monday morning. It all depends on whether or not the supplies come in and how much of a backlog of orders they have then.

We ended up going to Dairy Queen last night because Cordelia said she really wanted a hot fudge sundae. Seeing what she ended up with, I'd never have called it a 'hot fudge' sundae because the topping was very, very runny. She commented, after eating it, that she really should have thought about the fact that she's not currently all that into chocolate. Her other idea had been an expedition to Novi to the Cheesecake Factory there, but it was 8:00 by the time we were ready to go anywhere at all. Dairy Queen was cheaper and closer.

I'm still working on characters for my game at UCon. I'll be running it from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Saturday, and I worry a little that a home rules game won't draw players in that time slot (I was worried about that in any time slot, quite frankly), but I suppose that people who like my games will still see that the game exists. I'm willing to run with just two people. Scott will be running something during that game slot, so I can't ask him to make up numbers.

I have notes, some sketchy and some not so much so, and names for seven characters. It's my intention to write them so that they can be played male, female, or anything else as the player prefers. I did that for my Amber game last UCon, and one of the players decided their character used they/them pronouns. I don't intend to make sex/gender integral to the plot in any way unless the player characters chase after it.

Looking at the online UCon game book section for RPGs is kind of fascinating. There's no character limit for the online listings, and some people post a wall of text while other people say little more there than what will fit in the printed version. It would be interesting to see which of these attract more players or if they simply attract different players. I haven't seen much yet that makes me want to play anything, but many games are better than their blurbs.

I'll be running Sentinels of the Multiverse on Friday morning, so all my GMing will be done by 1 p.m. on Saturday. Sentinels is much less work in the preparation stage. Mainly, I need to pick a villain and a setting and test the combination so that I know what bits of each are likely to kill the superheroes. I may, based on that, offer a limited selection of heroes rather than letting anyone choose any hero at all, but I also may not because that's more work. It's just that there are some heroes who can't function at all against certain villains.
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Scott didn't get to bed until 11 this morning and so didn't get up until sometime around 7 this evening. I feel like I've been cat waxing all day, but I reminded myself that I don't have any absolute commitments for projects until UCon in November. I want to write some stories for [community profile] weissvsaiyuki which is having a fanworks battle in October, but if I don't, I won't be defaulting on someone.

Of course, today's cat waxing was scrolling through the Gdoc of prompts for the Trick or Treat exchange, saving off anything that I thought might be fun to write, and then reorganizing my old archives of saved prompts in hopes of being able to find things more easily. I don't know that I ever actually will write any of those, but it's hard to say. I also need to figure out a better way of organizing prompts within fandoms.

The Gdoc for Trick or Treat stripped out the links to letters, and only a few of the requests had had the links added back (I think each person has to ask for it to be done themselves and to provide the url), so there were a lot of things that, based on fandom and characters, might have been things I could write but that weren't enough to give me a different starting place than I'd have just writing something for myself.

I suppose that I should be glad of that as a way of limiting how many prompts I saved off. The full Gdoc was somewhere between 700 and 800 pages. My Gdoc of saved Trick or Treat prompts was only 31 pages. Well, 24 pages once I changed the line spacing, but the line spacing copied over from the original.

I slept middling badly last night. I didn't take anything to help me sleep, so I didn't sleep as soundly and kept half waking from the pain my elbow or unhappiness with my dreams (it's very frustrating to have a dream where I know I'm in a story and know how it will all come out and keep having my efforts to change things simply not work at all).
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We only ended up with one guest last night. Cordelia stayed in her room, and Scott, [livejournal.com profile] cherydactyl, and I watched Wonder Woman which they'd both seen but I hadn't. I enjoyed it overall, but I failed to connect with it emotionally. This is a common problem for me with action focused movies, especially superhero movies. I get distracted and just don't see what other people see.

Scott is showering right now. When he's done and dressed, we'll head for Cordelia's school to meet with a counselor. Hopefully, that will go well and not take too long. I just hope they've fixed the elevator. I don't want to climb to the fourth floor.

I slept badly last night because of anxiety. I was sufficiently wound up that the amount of Halcion that would normally let me fall asleep and stay asleep simply didn't. I didn't feel even vaguely sleepy. It was that I wasn't tired as much as it was that I had enough in the way of adrenaline and such going on to be quite awake. I'm not sure that Ativan would have done better for me, but maybe it would have.

Cordelia's dental appointment went okay. The dentist left us sitting for longish stretches off and on because they'd fit us in when they were already full up. She did an x-ray and didn't see hidden decay. She said that Cordelia's wisdom teeth aren't pushing on anything or positioned in a way that she'd expect to cause pain. The joint of the jaw seems to be fine. So we don't know the underlying cause of the problem. She suggested a cheap night time mouth guard in order to see if a guard would help at all (and in order to avoid paying $500 for something that, at her age, might not fit next year).

From the dentist, we went and got bubble tea for me and Cordelia. They've changed their menu display and options, so I had to spend a little while figuring out if they still had what I wanted.

After that, we went to Target and got Wonder Woman and the mouth guard. We stopped at Plum Market to pick up dinner at their buffet (you pay by weight). I gambled on a couple of things that looked (and were) tasty but that I probably shouldn't have touched because of spice levels.

My Captive Audience recipient has gotten back to me. I was right in suspecting that things had gotten lost.
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Cordelia's having some pain at the hinge of her jaw, so Scott and I will be taking her to the dentist tomorrow afternoon. She also says her teeth are cold sensitive. I suspect that she's clenching and/or grinding at night since that's generally what gives me that sort of trouble.

I like Scott being awake and energetic in the evenings, so that's a positive for working third shift. The negative is that I have to be super quiet all day so as not to risk waking him. I'm even hesitating to make tea because of the noise of the whistle.

My left elbow is hurting a lot. Even when I'm not using the arm or hand, it sometimes hurts enough to make me mutter. The doctor recommended cold packs, but those hurt worse while I'm applying them and don't make things better after, so I'm wondering if I should try heat. That will be a bit harder because Scott moved my rice pack, and I'll have to find it. The elbow is bad enough to wake me if I move wrong, but I discovered this morning that, if I lie on my right side with a pillow between my arm and my body, the damned thing doesn't hurt. It's not ideal because I'm still feeling too warm most of the time and because the rest of my body doesn't like staying in that position, but it's better than nothing.

I have pulled out my sling. It can be useful in reminding me not to try to pick things up with that hand, but it also seems to make things worse in the long term. There's something about the angle and about how close in to my body the sling is that just doesn't work right. Possibly, I need a sling that holds the arm about three inches out from my torso.

I think that I have a solution to the problem of my c-PAP headgear sliding off-- I loosened the straps just a tiny bit, and now the dratted thing stays in place better. It's counterintuitive, but I've had it that way for two or three nights now, and it is better.

Sleep is still not great. Halcion has an effect, but it's not what my doctor said it would do. The stuff is supposed to be very short acting and hit me like a ton of bricks. It doesn't make me more immediately sleepy, but I am tending to stay asleep longer before I wake up to pee. The downside of that is that I'm getting up for that too close to when I have to get up for the day to be able to sleep again. When that's ten minutes, it's not such a big deal. When it's more than an hour... That's enough to matter.
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I still haven't gotten any feedback from my recipient for Captive Audience, no indication at all that they even saw the story. Even if they somehow didn't get a gift notice because of the whole revealed on posting and then hidden again thing, there were only 21 stories in the archive, so it wouldn't have been hard to find.

Possibly one of the guest kudos was theirs or maybe they left one under a different account. I'm pretty certain that the account I wrote for was a sock, so both of those are actually reasonably possible. I'd rather think that than that I accidentally hit all of their DNWs (no letter or details in the request).

The story really needed to be about twice as long as it ended up being, but August had bumps that ate all of my writing time, and part of me thinks that I really should have managed the character development/change I wanted in the 10823 words I wrote.

Title: For These Cramped Fragments
Fandom: Original fic
Rating: E
Pairing: Female Admiral/Captured Enemy Prince
Tags Rape/Non-Con, Science Fiction, Captivity, Politics, Stockholm Syndrome, War

Blurb: The very orderliness of the Scarlet’s surrender had been her first clue that her captain might not be as dead as his second claimed.

His father would have expected him to die rather than risk capture. Perhaps the new king had changed the standing orders since the old man's death. Perhaps not.

Apparently Captain Prince Vikenti wanted to live.

Notes: The Captive Audience exchange was for stories involving either Stockholm or Lima syndrome that showed the changing feelings of the captor and/or captive. There's more world building and character stuff than there is explicit sex, but the sex is in there, too.

Fic at AO3.
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I've been steadily chipping away at my to-do list since Scott went to bed this morning. I think today's my best bet for dealing with phone calls and forms. Scott said that, since he'll be home during business hours this week, I could pass him a list of calls, too.

I've got about two hours before Cordelia gets home, and I'm trying to figure out my priorities. I have to find another black pen so that I can finish filling out the Aetna claim forms (I knocked my last one under the loveseat and am not quite desperate enough to try to move that to retrieve it). I have a non-urgent email and a non-urgent phone call. There is an urgent-ish call on Scott's list, and I maybe ought to make that one as it needs doing while Cordelia's not home.

Of course, what I really want to do is nap. I may just give up and do that.

I did a little bit of writing last night and realized why I haven't gotten much done recently. Cordelia's been glued to my side for considerable periods and turning up for that more or less at random during the time she's home. She reads whatever's showing on my laptop and rather disapproves of me writing fanfic because I'm old. She especially disapproves of me writing anything even vaguely sexual.

Scott and I drove into town this morning to return a book to Community. Cordelia claims she told me to take it back on Friday when I went in to withdraw her, but I don't remember that at all. At any rate, it took about ten minutes this morning, so it wasn't a big deal.

I need to talk to folks at Skyline about letting Cordelia sign herself in and out with me either calling or writing a note to authorize it. If she can do that, it would make appointments during school hours infinitely more possible from my side of things.

I discovered today that, while I can shut down the ringing of our landline phones, I can't shut down the ringing from the base unit/charger. I'm not sure what the point is of being able to mute ringing on the mobile bit if the base is just going to howl. The problem is that we have a phone in our bedroom, so Scott was awakened by a junk call around 10:00 this morning. We only have a landline at this point because it was cheaper to get cable and phone with the internet than to get the internet connection on its own. The 'landline' isn't exactly a landline, either, and stops working when we lose power, so it doesn't even give us that.
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Cordelia's caught up in all of her classes except social studies. That's proving difficult because the teacher didn't give her the handouts that everyone else got, just the accompanying worksheets. The questions are on the handouts rather than on the worksheets; the latter just have spaces for answering the questions.

She texted the one person she knows in the class to ask her to send a copy, but that other student hasn't responded.

The topic is Judaism, specifically (I think) things found in a typical synagogue. I know that some of you could and would help her with it, but she's not willing to ask for help from anyone but me and Scott (who is currently sleeping in order to be able to work 3rd shift starting tomorrow night). Apparently the prospect is too overwhelming.

Google will help for things like what a shofar is, but it's not going to be much help in figuring out what the teacher wants with regard to the intersection of 'windows' with a synagogue. It also won't help with the drawing she's supposed to make of the interior of a synagogue (starting with a dozen or so lines printed on the sheet to show where to begin).

I have an email address for the teacher, but it's a crap shoot whether or not he'd even reply. I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't reply any time today. She needs to turn in the worksheets tomorrow.

I ended up in bed most of yesterday with IBS related pain. It was very frustrating but at least was during a day when I didn't have to get anything done. I mostly worked on reading library books, specifically the dozen graphic novels I had stacked up. That leaves eleven novels that I haven't opened, two books of poetry, and a book of non-fiction. I've got two graphic novels left to finish. After that, I have a book of poetry and three novels with me in the living room. The others are in the bedroom and inaccessible until Scott gets up.

The downtown library is closed until some time tomorrow due to a sewage back up. I'm not entirely sure it will open then because they've been promising just one more day since this started. At any rate, it means we need to go to a different branch to return our books and such and will have to go downtown mid-week to get our holds.
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Getting to Skyline yesterday was stressful, and getting home was worse. The bus company website doesn't actually provide accurate information about the bus line that runs out there-- The schedule I could access on my phone claimed two buses around when school starts and three around when it ends with nothing in between. I knew it was a lie, but I couldn't get the site to cough up anything else. The first bus to come by as I waited was going to go out of service at the next stop, so I had to wait another half an hour for a bus to come.

What I really wanted to do was to find somewhere to get coffee and food and to sit for a while before I dealt with the bus, but there is absolutely nothing out by Skyline. Zilch. To walk anywhere useful, I'd have to cross three traffic circles, two of them connected to highway entrances/exits, and none of them having any design considerations for possible pedestrians. By the time I was actually on the bus, the idea of getting off again was horrific. I didn't do it until I had to transfer downtown.

It wasn't quite 10:30 when I got downtown, and I didn't feel like I could walk to try to find somewhere to sit and try to calm myself, so I just walked down the block to where the bus I needed would come.

I left both my water bottle and Cordelia's somewhere along the way. I only realized that I didn't have them when I was gathering my things to get off the bus at the stop by our house. They might be at the Skyline bus stop. They might be on the bus I took into town. They might be at the transit center. I couldn't deal with calling to try to find them, so they're gone. Scott bought me a replacement that I need to wash before I start using.

I can't tell how much of how bad going back and forth to Skyline was yesterday was due to it coming at the end of a horrible, horrible week and how much was the trip being intrinsically difficult for me. It's probably a bit of both.

I got pretty angry at Scott yesterday (and a few times earlier in the week) because he wasn't bothering to give me any encouraging words or anything. He gave Cordelia a lot, and he was having an awful week, too, but it would have been nice to get a comment indicating that he had my back on anything at all. I don't think he realizes how much he left me flapping in the wind all week. If I asked for something very specific, he'd do it, but there wasn't anything at all that I didn't ask for. Not even a "I know this is hard for you, but you can do it."

I think Scott also doesn't realize that Cordelia going to Community gave me a brief feeling of intense relief that I wouldn't have to deal with a huge, huge problem that I've seen coming for literally years-- The problem of me getting her from school for appointments and then back to school after. Nothing about the trips I've made to Skyline has made the problem seem less severe or more easily addressed. I really am thinking that Scott going to third shift may be the only sustainable solution, but if he does that, him ever getting back to first shift is unlikely.

I suppose the first thing I have to do is to find out whether or not I can get Skyline to let Cordelia sign herself out for documented appointments and then back in again after. That would make things actually manageable and could be argued as an accommodation for my disability every bit as much as letting me use the elevator when I visit the building.

I'm really, really hoping that next week I can start doing something other than putting out immediate fires. I don't think writing is going to happen while Cordelia's home because she tends to turn up and sit next to me for twenty to thirty minutes at a time and express disapproval over me using my laptop at all. She also reads what's on my screen.

Today's main goal is to read some library books so I can return them tomorrow. I've got more than I like just sitting on my shelf unopened. Also, the interlibrary loan stuff needs getting through quickly. The system won't let me request multiple volumes of the same manga title at once because it considers them all the same book in spite of the numbering difference. This means that from October 1st until maybe April next year, I won't be able to move forward on Natsume's Book of Friends, Case Closed (Detective Conan), or Prince of Tennis. That last is particularly frustrating because the library is missing 29-32 and 36. It has 33-35 and 37-40 (are there volumes out beyond 40? I don't know. I haven't looked yet). I have v.29 waiting for me to pick it up. If I read it fast and return it immediately, I might be able to get v.30 by the end of the month. I just don't see managing four volumes in that time because of the time it takes to get ILL books.

I also have a movie that's due tomorrow and can't be renewed. I can probably either finish it today or reach a point in it where I'm sure I don't care about finishing.

Cordelia has a birthday party to go to later this afternoon. They're going to a Tigers game as part of it. They did the same last year for this girl's birthday. My guess is that they'll have fun again and that it will be rather more about being there as a group of friends than about the game.
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I managed to get myself signed up to run events at UCon. A two hour Sentinels of the Multiverse game and a four hour rpg. The rpg plot is still very squishy in my head. I know where and how it starts, and I've got character ideas, but I still have to hammer out details.

I'm also waiting to hear from Cordelia how going to Skyline just for choir has worked. There was some stress about because the choir teacher never responded yesterday. That left Cordelia going to Skyline without a clear idea of what would happen. I don't know, at this point, if she'll be getting a ride in with someone or if she'll be rushing to catch the bus. I promised her that, if she misses the bus, I'll call Community to let them know that she'll be late.

After she gets to Community for the day, I'm probably going to try to nap. I have to meet Cordelia downtown after school's over. She has a 4:15 appointment down that way.

I woke this morning with a headache. Sugar and caffeine killed it, but it was fairly nasty before that. I'm pretty sure it's fallout from me not sleeping much Monday night and from me walking too far yesterday. (Cordelia's comment was, "Mom, you know that never ends well.")

My appointment at the sleep disorders clinic went pretty well. I saw a doctor rather than the PA I was expecting. I really have lost track of who I'm supposed to be seeing there. The doctor was pleased by my numbers as recorded by the c-PAP. I'm having a lot of 'episodes' during the period while I'm wearing the gear but not yet asleep. If I get up after an hour of being awake, the machine generally says I've had between 7 and 10 episodes in that time. By the next morning, it will give me an average between 1 and 2.5, depending on how long I used it and getting lower the longer I did, so I'm assuming that most of those are while I'm still awake with pretty much nothing while I'm sleeping. The doctor seemed to think that was the case too (the card recorded me having many events clustered early and then nothing much later, so).

The current mask/headgear is much better than the nasal pillows except for one thing. The strap around the back of my head that anchors everything won't stay. When I'm asleep, it gradually migrates up so that everything else starts to fall off. I have to manage to wake enough to move the strap back to where it's supposed to be. I will call Medequip and ask about it, but the doctor thought that they wouldn't have a solution. Her suggestion was a hat of some sort to provide more friction. Clips in my hair aren't an option because those will slide right out.

I took a cab to the appointment because I was just that tired. I had to take the bus home because the cab company said it would be an hour and a half, minimum. I was too tired to climb the hill from that bus route, so I went downtown to catch the bus that stops at the top of the hill. I ended up with at fifteen minute wait downtown. Cordelia was kind of worried that I wasn't home when she got there even though I texted her about it.
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Getting Cordelia enrolled at Community was mostly painless. We had to wait for the people we needed to talk to to arrive, so my worry that we'd be late was groundless. There was one other new 9th grader enrolling, and the woman in charge of the process declared the 9th grade class officially full once she had both kids in the system. Some of the other classes still aren't quite full, though, so she's not done with the process yet. She told us that they had a lot of last minute drop outs this year and that it's highly unusual.

The building is a much more manageable size than Skyline is. It's three floors but still probably not bigger than Cordelia's older school because that sprawls more. We were able to find all of Cordelia's classes. Then her friend who has been there since day one managed to get out of class about twenty minutes early (the classes are in long blocks) and came out to keep Cordelia company. I left then and just barely missed the bus (I got turned around, and none of the people I asked for help in finding the right exit gave me the correct directions). Since it was half an hour until the next bus I started walking.

I missed the next bus because I'd detoured into a park to hack some portals I hadn't before. That was on me. I ended up walking another twenty minutes and then stopping to wait for the next bus. Standing and waiting was much, much harder than walking. I almost fell over while waiting because my legs just couldn't.

On the plus side I earned a silver badge for deploying mods in Ingress.

Cordelia decided to take Spanish rather than to try to find a way to take Chinese. Taking it at Skyline wasn't likely to work due to the bus schedule. We're still trying to figure out how to make choir at Skyline work, but getting back to Community in time requires catching a bus only one minute after the class ends (she can get to Skyline on the school bus because it's a first period class). Basically, any bus option for getting to Community by 9:35-- which she must do-- requires leaving before first period ends.

I'm not enthusiastic about relying on the teacher letting her go early and on Cordelia being assertive enough to point out that she has to. Still, I've emailed the teacher and will try calling her cell phone (which I have because of camp) a bit later one. We need to figure it out by 6:50 tomorrow morning so that Cordelia can got to Community if she's not going to choir. (Yes, the bus to Community is almost twenty minutes earlier than the bus to Skyline.)

I have to get her textbooks back to Skyline. She'll be using the same text in geometry at Community, but bureaucracy dictates using a different copy. If Cordelia keeps taking choir, she can take them in herself, either all three at once or one at a time, but I'm kind of assuming that we're not going to figure out a solution.

Hopefully, Cordelia figured out where to buy school lunch. Community has an open campus, so most kids buy lunches outside, and the school doesn't have a cafeteria. They told us that she can buy lunches at school, using her prepaid account, but they didn't give us a clear idea of where she needed to go. Her friend didn't know because she hadn't ever done it.
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I nominated for Yuletide last night. I ran into a problem of wanting to nominate something I don't own that's relatively recent. I couldn't remember the names of the characters I wanted to nominate, and I didn't want to nominate just the two I could find named online. There's a copy on the shelf at one of the library branches (not the one we'll go to to pick up our holds), but getting there would be more than I want to ask of Scott today. He drove Cordelia and her friends to a movie and has now taken her out for groceries. We need to visit the downtown library in the next three and a half hours. I think the lawn needs mowing pretty desperately, too. I've washed Scott's work clothes. The dishwasher is running. I showered and took care of the essential phone call I was waiting for. I'd like to wash a load of regular laundry by the end of the day.

At any rate-- Yuletide nominations: LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures, Baba Yaga's Assistant, and (a request from Scott) Kerbal Space Program. I just don't have the energy at the moment to want anything strongly so I was looking for things that just might be good springboards for fic as opposed to being things I pine for. The Freemaker Adventures are silly enough to be fun but have enough plot and characterization to hang interesting stories from. Baba Yaga's Assistant is a short graphic novel aimed at kids. I think that exploring an ordinary(ish) teenager working for Baba Yaga would be fascinating. I thought about The Time Museum, but that's the one I'd have to either buy or get from the library in order to get the character names. I thought about Ursula Vernon's Hamster Princess books, but I didn't want those enough to get up and go to the bedroom to check the character names, so I just asked Scott if there was a small fandom he'd like fic for. He asked for Kerbal and gave me some character names. I'm not against fic for Kerbal. It could be fun. I think I've got enough sense of the game from Scott playing it to understand a fic. I don't know that I'd try to write one, but there are sure to be a lot of things nominated that I can write.

My nominations haven't been reviewed yet, so I could still change my mind, but I doubt I will. I'm too creatively exhausted for it. The fact that I don't have any writing deadlines now is a huge relief.

I still don't have a giftfic for Captive Audience, and waiting for that is delaying the archive opening. The announcement said that they're just waiting for one fic, and I don't have one, so... I feel bad about it but am not really prepared to say that it doesn't matter and to go ahead and open things. I feel like I should say that, though, and not be a bother. They're now saying Monday at midnight for the opening, so forty eight hours late.

I took a full tablet (0.25 mg) of Halcion last night and don't feel groggy today. I fear that that's because I got a bit more than eight hours of sleep rather than because it making me groggy on Friday was a fluke. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be able to get eight hours on a school night because Cordelia and Scott aren't respecting my need to. I'm not sure how much clearer I can make it to Scott. Cordelia... Well, she's actually needing me, so that's harder.

Cordelia's best friend visited yesterday and stayed until about 10 p.m. Both girls really seemed to enjoy the chance to spend time together. They're at different schools now. The other girl's family is still hoping to buy a house and move out of student family housing (the mother graduated three or four years ago but still works at the U. There's very little demand for those apartments now, so they've been allowed to stay). The last I heard, they were hoping for a place within walking distance of us. I think they'd still want their daughter at her current high school, but visiting would be so much easier. Right now, it takes about half an hour of bus riding with a transfer or two and is a much longer walk.
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I used a half tablet of Halcion last night and don't feel hungover/groggy today. I'm not sure that it helped me sleep, though, so it may be a tradeoff. I'll try a whole tablet tonight and see how that goes given that I should be able to sleep myself out tomorrow. The whole tablet Thursday night did help me sleep, so I'd like to know if the fatigue on Friday was from the Halcion or just from it being the end of a trying week with less sleep than I actually need.

Scott and I are poking at Steam to see if there are games there that Cordelia might like (and be willing to have us know that she's playing). He's used Steam for a while, and I never have. I'm frustrated because I can't get the searching interface to do what I think it ought to, because I can't make it cough up a complete list of searchable tags or categories. I'm also not seeing any sort of label that indicates a target age range or levels of gore, sex, profanity, etc. Cordelia says she doesn't want any of those things, so sorting in a way to eliminate them would be beyond helpful.

I don't think this entirely me because Scott was having trouble with it last night. It may just be that neither of us know the code words that would tell us what's what. He mostly does combat stuff, board/card games, and the like. Things Cordelia's decidedly not interested in.

Scott and I are thinking that Cordelia might like something in the vein of a visual novel. Assuming we can find one that has a female protagonist, no graphic sex or violence or horror elements, and isn't romance/dating focused. Cordelia has informed me that she's not interested in hidden object games (I tried to sell her on the Dark Parables series which I enjoyed and which otherwise fit what she seems to want-- no time pressure, no risk of losing due to making a mistake, no reflex tests or need for eye-hand coordination, no gore, no explicit sex, no swearing, etc.)

I'm not sure whether Cordelia's really not interested in having any romance or just isn't interested in us knowing that she is.

Scott is trying desperately to get his payment information changed in a dozen different places where he'd pay monthly bills via Discover (his card number was used for Lyft several times last Saturday while he was at work so new number). Verizon has locked him out because he couldn't answer a security question that he's absolutely and utterly certain that he wouldn't have chosen because it's something that he doesn't have an accurate answer for (What was his first school). I think he got Netflix and Hulu updated. Discover very kindly sent him a list of places he's been making regular payments to. Verizon's just being unpleasant.

We were a bit freaked when the new card arrived because the front was blank apart from the Discover name and logo. They're now printing the number and name and expiration on the back and not bothering with raised type. We were sure, at first, that they'd just sent a completely blank card. Why on earth put the information on the back? I can't imagine that's actually more secure since turning the card over is beyond easy.
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I have officially defaulted on Darkest Night. I realized that things with Cordelia aren't going to get better at all for a while-- weeks at best and quite possibly months-- and that I haven't been able to write all week because of it. Even if I do write more this month, I'm about 85% sure I couldn't write the things requested in my assignment. Not right now.

I feel bad because I feel like I'm letting myself down, but I think that, realistically, I can't do it. Better to default with twenty days to the deadline so that the pinch hitter has more time to work. Given the requested fandoms, I don't expect finding a pinch hitter to be that difficult.

I'm still going to nominate for Yuletide and then make the call about signing up later.
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One of my interlibrary loan requests has been canceled because the only circulating copy within the state wide system is missing. Buying the book is out of the question because used copies are very expensive. On Amazon, they start at $660.

I'm thinking to put in a lot of MelCat interlibrary loan requests between now and the end of the month. I won't be able to do any for an estimated six months, possibly longer, while the district library gets its new system running well enough to handle the interface again.
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Last night, I tried Halcion to help me get to sleep. My psychiatrist prescribed me fourteen 0.25 mg tablets with instructions to take between 1/2 tablet and two tablets. I took half a tablet and then got distracted for forty five minutes by an urgent email. I could tell the medication was affecting me because I was making more typos, but I didn't feel tired. About fifteen minutes after I sent the email, I took the other half of the tablet.

I slept until Scott's alarm six hours later. After I left Cordelia at the crosswalk, I went as far as the church to hack the portal there, but I didn't go further because I was really tired. I came home and went back to bed. I was interrupted twice, but I actually did sleep. I got up two minutes before my 10:00 alarm (to remind me to start making lunch). I'm still tired enough to be tempted to go back to sleep, but I think my brain is working, and I'm going to see if food helps any. Of course, using food to stay awake is a Bad Thing.

I think that, tonight, I'll stick with half a tablet and see how bad the hangover from that is. The sleepiness the next day is a known side effect, but it's not expected because the medication has a really short half-life, only two hours.

Yesterday was mostly given over to household chores (the cleaning lady came), Cordelia, and a beta read I promised to get done. Scott and Cordelia made a trip out to get more school supplies. I'm not sure where they went because the place we normally go to for that stuff was out of reach due to a police manhunt for a bank robber. According to MLive, the money he took had a tracker, and they knew he was on northbound 23. According to acquaintances who were out near where Scott normally get onto 23, both that street and 23 were parking lots.
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I walked in a different direction after parting from Cordelia at the crosswalk today. There are only half as many portals along the route I took, but I can do all of them from the sidewalk rather than tramping through dew soaked grass. Also, I wanted to place some resonators and, if I could, some mods. Only one of the portals had mod spots open, so I didn't get much out of it in that direction. I need to place 38 more mods to get my silver badge.

We had people over for Scott's Firefly RPG last night. I wasn't able to play for various reasons.

Cordelia and I almost got through the fourth Buffy episode today. We watched all of the third and then had to leave before the final fight in the fourth.

I have two things I really want to do today that I think shouldn't take long. Except that I'm still dithering about what scenario to do for UCon. Part of me still thinks that I can just show up, hand out characters, and make stuff up as I go. That's not how one shot games work. I need to have a general shape in mind for the story, with ideas for different paths to an ending. The players are pretty certain not to take any of the paths I expect, but having those in mind means having some things already in motion that I can toss at the player characters.

Scott ordered some books that he wanted sent to our six year old niece in Seattle. They ended up here, and sending them back to Amazon for reshipping costs more than half the value of the books (they're paperback early reader chapter books-- Magic Kitten series). This means a trip to the post office some time soon. I have some other things I'd like to mail at the same time, so that will work well.

I think it's actually sort of a pity that this book doesn't contain instructions for how to make the items it contains pictures of. It's a book of wearable fiber crafts photos. I'm not convinced I'd want to wear any of the things in the blog post talking about the book, but they're kind of fascinating to look at. The book's from 1976, but the blog post is current (the blog focuses on looking at old library books that don't belong in the collections where they were found).
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Cordelia has decided that she wants to watch Buffy now. She's been reading YA with vampires and thinly disguised Slayers. We watched the first two episodes this morning before Cordelia went to school. She said a lot of the tropes were immediately familiar, and she complained about the physics not being accurate.

I took a walk again after dropping Cordelia at the bus stop, up to the science center for portal hacking again. I walked very, very slowly up until the end of the walk when I started feeling some urgency to get home.

I need to dive into a beta read of a long fic that needs to get done quickly. I got the document right after Cordelia got home yesterday, so I didn't have a chance to look at it last night. I've got about two hours now. I can probably work on it after Cordelia gets home today if all goes well. Fingers crossed.
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We went to breakfast at Bob Evans yesterday. I still have half of my pancakes.

We drove Cordelia and a boy from her friends group to the fairgrounds where they met about five other kids. We left them there and wandered around a bit, Ingressing. Scott was peeved to find out that the folks who took down his science center portals were doing it in retaliation for things someone else did, and Saline happens to be the territory of one of the folks who did it, so Scott picked a portal that anchored a lot of big fields, and we took that out. We didn't hold it more than an hour or two, but the other player had to go out there to take it back. We also picked off several portals that only had a resonator or two on them. Those were recaptured by the time we'd walked two blocks.

I don't think Scott was annoyed enough to have gone out there without some other reason to make the trip, but he was pleased to have it all coincide.

I only need 64 unique portals hacked to get my silver Explorer badge. I need to place 42 more mods to get my Engineer silver and create 95 fields to get my silver Mind Controller badge. None of my silvers are even remotely near to getting to gold.

We gave two girls rides home. They and the friends who weren't riding with us wanted bubble tea or frozen yogurt or some such to cap the day, so we took them downtown. I stayed in the car to eat my dinner while everyone else went and got smoothies. Scott brought one back for me. His ulterior motive was that he could tell it was going to start raining soon. He didn't want to have to walk back to the parking structure in the rain.

And it came down in sheets when it did start. All the kids got soaked in spite of waiting under a theater marquee. A lot of the sewers were backing up so that there were puddles inches deep in places. The downpour only lasted about twenty minutes, and things drained pretty fast after that, but I don't like the indication for the health of our storm sewers.

I ended up having KFC's mac and cheese and coleslaw because we weren't going to be home before my drop dead time for eating and because that was all we could find open that had anything reasonable in terms of reflux risk. Given that that's now 6 p.m., this is going to be an ongoing issue. Me needing to be in bed at 9 p.m. is also going to put a serious crimp in our Wednesday game group plans because we run from 7 to 10 and generally don't manage to start playing anything until around 8.

I've set alarms to help me remember my new schedule for meals and medications because there's not much wiggle room at the end of the day given when I'm going to try to sleep and that I'll be taking my thyroid medication before I lie down. No more ice cream in the evening or snacks during game sessions.

I completely lost track of my word counts during August. At this point, I'm not sure what I counted and what I didn't. I don't think I wrote enough that it matters much, but I'm still taking it as a sign of stress and trying not to be annoyed with myself. I've got counts on some things I wrote; I'll just use those and handwave the rest.

Scott still has his alarm set for the old wake up time. It's a matter of about fifteen minutes, so we couldn't go back to sleep for that time. That meant that I had Cordelia's breakfast made and coffee for her and me ready by the time she got up. I walked her to the bus stop which turned out to be, as I expected, in the lot of her old school. We were a little worried by the fact that there was a school bus pulling out of the lot as we approached. We were ten minutes before the official pick up time, so I was pretty sure it had to be a different bus, but we didn't know.

Cordelia didn't say hello to any of the waiting kids, so I think she didn't know them. I certainly didn't recognize any of them. After the bus left, I walked to the science center to hack the portals there. I was out until a bit after 8:00 (pick up was 7:20-ish), but I was walking very, very slowly both because the grass was damp and slippery and because I wanted to get two hacks on each portal if I could without standing still (mostly, I couldn't).

In the road in front of the school, they've put up signs telling drivers to stop for foot traffic. There are also narrow plastic cones separating the lanes and along the curb at the crosswalk so that drivers can't possible miss it. I was glad to see, on my way back from the science center, that the school there still has a human crossing guard. We were a little concerned that they'd have eliminated that position.
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Looking at the bottle of Lunesta, I actually tried 2 mg Saturday night. I tried 3 mg last night, and it still did nothing at all. I'm going with Ativan tonight and hoping desperately that I can sleep. I'll give my psychiatrist a call tomorrow to ask what she recommends. If I feel no change at all in drowsiness with 3 mg of Lunesta, I can't imagine continuing with the Lunesta will do anything useful at all.

Yesterday was a very laid back day. We went to the library, and Scott went the Games Library Day in Ypsilanti. Apart from that, nothing much happened at all.

The library blog announced today that we won't have access to easy interlibrary loan through the MelCat system in between the 1st of October and some time next year because the online catalog is going to be updated and can't interact with the MelCat system at all until after that's done. That means they need enough lead time to return all MelCat books before the change and then time after to iron out all of the bugs in the new system. Since I've been going through MelCat for a lot of stuff recently, I'm not pleased. We'll still have some interlibrary loan options, but it will require going through the library staff.

I'm going to miss being able to stay up in the evening. The one person I chat with in AIM regularly is on the west coast and so not online before I'll be going to bed. This may be an issue because she's the one I'm most likely to babble at about fics. The combination of me flitting from fandom to fandom as a writer (and most of those being small or old) with me often writing darkfic with potentially squicky content (mostly noncon but sometimes with kink, too) makes finding someone to talk to hard.

I need a to be able to babble about story details in order to keep writing. I find doing that in chat or in person much more useful than comments or email. Group chat isn't great because I can't be sure that I'm not going to cross a line in terms of the comfort of some of the people in there (right now, I can't do one on one in IRC because I haven't managed to find a program that will work for me. The web access is... not great at all). Also, I'm often writing exchange stories that require anonymity with no way to be sure whether or not my recipient is there.

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