Jun. 21st, 2017

the_rck: (Default)
Cordelia spent last night with her best friend, a sleepover. They went to a movie at Top of the Park (outdoor showing), so they were out quite late. I think they saw Hidden Figures. The girls are eager to go to more of these movies. The main difficulty is getting them home afterward. I don't think the buses run that late, and Scott can't stay up for that. I doubt the other girl's parents can either.

My psychiatrist says I should use Ativan every night for a while in the hope that that will get me used to the c-PAP. We discussed Lunesta as an option as well, but I wasn't keen on it because new medications that sedate me can send my anxiety through the roof. Lunesta might not since it's supposed to make a person fall asleep really, really fast, but... I thought trying Ativan first was wiser.

She also wants me to practice taking the gear off and putting it back on in as close to night time darkness as I can manage in the hope that that will help the anxiety caused by feeling less able to respond to an emergency. (What sort of emergency, I can't imagine. The anxiety portions of my brain are simply adamant that I must be prepared for emergencies at all times. All possible emergencies rather than anything specific.) There's a reason that, when I startle awake, including with an alarm, I wake pretty completely and can function immediately, no matter how tired I am. That ability to function fades as the day goes on.

I took an Ativan last night and used the c-PAP until Scott's alarm at 5 a.m. I slept without it after that until about 8:30 when Cordelia texted me with a question. That's two hours longer than I'd have slept on a school night. I'm still tired, but I'm able to function. Maybe this will work.

I'm starting to get a headache now, so I'm going to lie down for a while.

August 2017

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