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I think I'm having allergy problems right now. I started sneezing mid-afternoon yesterday, and by evening, my nose was running, and my left eye was watering constantly. No idea at all why my right eye is clear, but I'm glad of that much. I got about three hours of sleep last night because, any time I moved, I'd start sneezing and/or desperately need to blow my nose. (I'm not sure Scott got much sleep either.) Basically, shifting around makes me feel an itching burn in my sinuses that's really unpleasant. I've gone through an entire box of tissues so far.

I may have to take my box of tissues and a bag to throw the used ones into and vacate the house this afternoon because I'm pretty sure that the stuff the cleaning lady uses will make things much, much worse. But I can't imagine what I'd do with myself for five hours, especially if it's raining.

I'm trying to think of anything that changed in the house yesterday, and I'm coming up completely empty. I also didn't eat or drink anything different or use different toiletries.

My anniversary present for Scott has arrived. I got him some bluetooth earbuds. His old ones died, and he needs them for listening to podcasts and audiobooks while doing things like mowing the lawn.

Cordelia has her volunteer training for working at the library this afternoon. I need to prod her a bit to make sure she actually eats something before she goes. She'll also have to leave earlier than she wants to be because of the bus detour (the training is at the Traverwood branch).

Scott will be going to bed early tonight because he'll need to get up around midnight to go to Top of the Park and get Cordelia. She has asked the friends she's going with if any of them can give her a ride home but hasn't gotten any answers yet. I offered to spring for a cab, but Cordelia balked at the expense. I don't know, though, $11 for Scott not to have to get up in the middle of the night? Sounds like a bargain to me.

I managed nearly 700 words on my NPT story yesterday. I still don't know exactly where it's going, though, and I'm a bit over 3000 words. This does not bode well. Then again, endings often come up unexpectedly and smack me in the face, so maybe I'll find the end soon.
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Our nephew has graduated. There were more than four hundred kids in his class, so it took a long time for them all to cross the stage. As we were driving away after, I asked if anyone had seen a single student who wasn't white. Cordelia said she saw one and that she was glad she wasn't the only one who noticed.

The EMU Convocation Center was not a pleasant place. The seats were painfully small, and so were the rows. I could barely stand by the end. The pain levels were high. Also, everything was so very steep that I was surprised that nobody died. The backs of the seats for each row were about even with the floor of the row behind. I'm not normally afraid of heights, but I was scared to death that I would fall because I was not feeling particularly steady to begin with. Scott's parents had saved us seats in the middle of the row, so we had to squeeze past people to get there. The stairs (I have no idea if there was any seating accessible without stairs) had railings in some spots but also had gaps in the railing of two to three feet at a time which combined very badly with the steepness on the way down after the ceremony.

I was so exhausted that I almost didn't make it to our car. There wasn't any option for me to sit somewhere and wait for Scott to bring the car by, though. I ended up leaning pretty heavily on Scott, and he kept trying to find somewhere for me to wait. There just wasn't anywhere.

I took Ativan a couple of hours before the ceremony. I shudder to think how I'd have felt without it. I fiddled with my cell phone and leaned on Scott and Cordelia in turn in order to deal with the anxiety. I did a bit of holding onto Scott as tightly as I could, too.

My gastroenterology appointment was relatively quick, once the doctor was free to see me. She was a little more than half an hour behind, but all we needed to do was to check in that nothing major had changed and that the medications were still working. Then I made an appointment for June of 2018, and that was that. Scott was able to pick me up which was a relief. I wasn't entirely sure I'd make it up the hill if I took the bus home.

I spent a large chunk of today in bed. I had a migraine that took forever to go away, even with medication, and I've been sneezing a lot with both a runny nose and sinus pressure. I'm not having dinner tonight because we have nothing in the house that won't make me sick (well, nothing that could be prepared in the time we had), one way or the other. I'm not pleased about this. It's now past when I can safely eat anything beyond air popped popcorn (which we don't have) or vanilla ice cream (which I can't have when my allergies are this active).
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I'm pretty definitely not making my Camp NaNo goal. I'm about ten thousand words short, and I'm not even going to try to write that much today. Three thousand words is generally an extremely good writing day for me. The word count I'm likely to end up with is in keeping with my usual monthly word count so far this year, so I think, if the month hadn't been unusually exhausting, I'd have made my goal.

I signed up for Not Prime Time last night and discovered that requesting 'any' for characters/relationships wasn't allowed. I had two fandoms with specific character requests and four where I wanted any. I had to narrow things down. I suspect I wouldn't have bothered nominating twelve options if I'd known I could only request eight.

The FFnet troll is still at it. I'm deleting the messages unread. I'm not getting other FFnet comments at the moment, so I may just start sending everything straight to trash. That'll save me the two or three seconds that deleting takes.

Scott tried the turkey bratwurst with pork casings last night and is having some minor trouble. He's not entirely convinced that's the cause, but he's also not certain it's not. And this makes two times with trouble after pork out of two tries, so... Yeah. I foresee a lot of chicken in our future. I just hope this doesn't stretch to include problems with dairy. Things starting to get worse after seventeen years is surprising. We don't know why the change, and we don't know that it will stop.

My mother is in Michigan and apparently has been for two weeks without telling us. It's frustrating but very typical of her. I talked to her yesterday. She said she might try to get over this way some time in the next couple of weeks but that it depends on her finding a contractor who will actually show up when promised and do the work she needs done.

I have a bunch of tiny things that I want to get done but that aren't important enough for me to have given them priority any time in the last few months. None of them will take more than fifteen minutes, but they're just that bit too much for me.

Okay. Nap time.
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I’ve posted my Small Fandom Bang fic. It’s part of the House of Sulfur and Mercury arc, a divergence in which Luke comes back for Merlin himself and Merlin does his best to manipulate Luke.

Nothing False and Possible.

I’ve also posted an if-I-get-hit-by-a-bus draft of my Fandom5K story. Well, I suppose it’s more of an if-life-overwhelms-me-this-week draft because that’s actually what I expect to happen. I’m not entirely happy with the ending, and I want to find someone to look over it for SPaG and for consistency in things like capitalization and the names people use for each other, but I don’t think there’s anything truly horrible that way in there (it’s explicit darkfic, so there are plenty of intentionally horrible things in there). I’ve already had to go in and edit three times after I posted because I forgot to write a summary, to delete some notes, and to set the rating.

Maybe I ought not post when I’m low on sleep?

I’m low on sleep because I kept coughing last night. It was that sort of tickling dry cough that doesn’t do anything except make my throat feel less irritated for a second or three. I only slept at all because I discovered that, if I breathed through a bit of the sheet, I didn’t feel the urge to cough. I suspect dryness in the air as the problem because this didn’t feel like illness or allergies. I spent a lot of the night dreaming but still awake enough to be focused on the necessity of holding the sheet in just the right place even when I rolled over. I was convinced, at one point, that the cough was a curse (of the magical type) that had something to do with me not being vegan.

I’ve paid the deposit for choir camp for Cordelia. I still haven’t gotten an answer to my inquiry about accessibility and all of that, but it’s been a week, and I don’t think I’m ever going to get an answer. I really wish they gave a phone number at the school to call with questions like this. I’ve now emailed the camp directly as the pictures on their website are not encouraging and as they make absolutely no mention of accessibility/accommodation except to mention how to get wheelchair seating for the school affiliated concert hall.

I’d think that Interlochen’s camp buildings would be covered by the ADA’s accessibility requirements. The school might get out of it by saying that this is a completely voluntary thing (in spite of saying that all students are expected to attend), but I don’t know that the camp could.

Of course, Scott thinks Cordelia’s going to refuse the surgery this year at all, that she’ll only consider it when she dislocates her knee again. I think she might go for it, especially if her aunt tells her it’s a good idea. She’s said several times that, much as surgery scares her, she really, really doesn’t want to go through a dislocation again.

Scott tried some pork on Saturday. He was okay with the small amount he had for breakfast, no ill effects, but he had a larger serving in the evening and had some intestinal issues the next day. He’s inclined to put that down to the pork, but there’s a chance that he and I both had an intestinal bug of some sort (I put my Saturday issues in that direction down entirely to anxiety, but who knows?). He’s going to be very unhappy when I point out to him that the turkey bratwurst he bought Saturday have pork casings. Of course, I can’t eat them, either, and I don’t think Cordelia is likely to eat more than one or maybe two. Cooking and then freezing seems indicated.

I’m still kind of desperately hoping for good news from the hysterosonogram on Friday so that I can cancel the gynecology appointment on Wednesday morning. Not getting anything before then doesn’t necessarily mean bad news, but going into the appointment with no idea makes it vastly more stressful. I can’t think of anyone who might be available for hand holding purposes on Wednesday, either. Scott and his sister will both be working, and [personal profile] evalerie has a critical all day appointment for her youngest. Scott's parents won't be back in Michigan until next week, and it will be longer than that before my parents get to Michigan.
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Scott had an allergic reaction to something starting at about 3 p.m. today. In the preceding couple of days, he hadn't eaten anything that was likely to have been beef contaminated (most of it was stuff we cooked at home). The timing was weird, too, because he usually has problems somewhere between eight and twelve hours after he eats the problem food. The entire period that we'd normally focus on as the problem was while he was asleep.

He has had a lot of pork products in the last couple of days. Not an amount out of the ordinary for him but pork roast last night and pork sausages this morning. This allergy has been mostly stable for eighteen years, so having it suddenly increase in scope is worrying. It's possible that the casings for the sausages are beef derived (Google indicates that 'collagen casings' generally are), but he's had this brand of sausage before without issues. Unfortunately, we don't have a label from a previous batch to compare to this one. Of course, the sausages were less than five hours before he started having problems, and the pork roast was about twenty hours before.

Easter dinner was ham, so if pork products are now a problem, Scott's going to continue being sick tomorrow. He can't stay home from work because he's used all of his sick days (two every six months), so he's hoping benadryl and immodium will see him through the day.

I'm actually really hoping it was the sausage casings.

I was a bit worried because the Easter gathering was half an hour from home, but Scott was certain he could drive home. He'd had to drive out to buy benadryl because no one at the gathering had any.

I'm going to have to pitch the sandwich I made for Scott for tomorrow because that's ham. (Cordelia won't eat it because there's margarine on the bread. I won't eat it because this particular brand of ham lunchmeat has a lot of fat and is likely to make me sick.) Fortunately, all of the remaining lunchmeat we've got is turkey.
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I spent a lot of yesterday afternoon and evening on the verge of tears for no reason I could figure out. Maybe it’s something hormonal? I don’t know. I haven’t had a full period since October, and goodness knows things in that direction are out of whack due to my age and medications. It was just completely out of the blue, and I really wanted Scott to help me out, but I couldn’t seem to get him to understand or to remember.

This morning, I had a very definite anxiety dream— I had gone back to college and registered for classes, but I didn’t know which ones I’d gotten or where or when they met. Supposedly, I could find that information out online, but I didn’t know the right commands to get the computer to do anything at all. Oh, and the computer was green on black in terms of text display. I haven’t used anything like that in about twenty five years.

I think, weirdly, that having Scott and Cordelia both in the house constantly all week has added to my stress. I love them dearly, but… When they’re at home, I end up rearranging everything in order to accommodate them without them being accommodating in return.

But having them go back to school and work will be vastly difficult for me, too.

We’re still trying to figure out the bedside table problem. I don’t have a c-PAP yet, but I will very, very soon, and I’m going to need a place to put it and to put all of the stuff I currently keep there. Scott is talking about taking out my bookshelves entirely, but I’m reluctant. I use those shelves for things I’m currently using for fic or think I will soon, for things I haven’t read yet, for reference books, and for library books. Everything that was there that I’m willing to store in the basement has already gone downstairs.

Oh, and I use those shelves for my lotion and deodorant and hairbrush and a couple of medications that I often need at night… There’s also a specific spot where I put medical paperwork that I won’t need for a few days or weeks or longer but need to be able to find immediately the day of the appointment or whatever. We keep games and puzzles on the shelves, too, and really don’t have any other place for them. I think Scott assumes we can just get rid of most of that stuff, but if I was willing to, I would have already. Yes, they’re games I’m not likely to play again, but they’re also the specific copies of those games that I played a lot as a child and teenager. I used to play solitaire Scrabble a lot because no one would play with me. That may not be reason to keep the game, but… I want to.

As my back hurts less, my tendinitis is becoming noticeable again. My back hurt so much for a while that I just no longer felt the tendinitis. I hoped it had really gone, but it hadn’t. The noise from my back was just drowning it out.

Last night, my face and upper chest both started itching horribly. It was quite sudden, and I couldn’t figure out a cause. It felt a lot like I’d been rubbing those parts of my body with wool non-stop for ten or fifteen minutes, so I suspected allergies. I ended up washing and then taking benadryl and slathering on hydrocortisone. That was enough to let me sleep moderately well, but bits of my face still itch this morning. I don’t see any rash or swelling (a little damage from me scratching but nothing else) apart from the rash around my eyes that I’ve had since September. I haven’t put anything new/different on my face or hair. We’re still using fragrance and dye free laundry detergent.

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