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I slept pretty badly last night. I was still sneezing and all that, so I couldn't use the c-PAP. I seem to be doing better in that regard this morning, but I woke when the Benadryl wore off in the middle of the night.

Our current best guess as to the problem is a combination of dust, ragweed, and the c-PAP. The dust and ragweed wouldn't normally give me this much trouble, not at the levels they've been at. I think that my sinuses have been irritated by the c-PAP and so are more reactive to other things. I haven't had a summer this bad for allergies since I was in high school.

All of my plans for the week, such as they were, have been shot to hell. They mainly consisted of writing and watching DVDs that can't be renewed (I have about fifty hours of lectures on DVD that can't be renewed) and more writing.

We have a very long day ahead of us as we'll be heading up to Interlochen to bring Cordelia home. (There are reasons for this that I'm not willing to go into in a public post.) It's been a hard decision, and I still need to make some phone calls about it. Part of me wants to go back to bed and to send Scott on his own, but that would be unfair to him. He could do it. He would, too, if it was necessary, but I can go.

We plan to get on the road as soon as we're both dressed and both have had breakfast.
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I'll be going to Medequip tomorrow to try on some different masks. The idea is to find something that won't irritate my sinuses to the point of days of sneezing. The current one doesn't provoke that all of the time.

I want to nap, but my sinuses are still in rebellion. I'm not sure if it's the c-PAP or the ragweed or the dust from cleaning. It might be all three. I used my neti pot (I don't very often, just when I'm worried that something like dust or pollen might be setting me off).

The orientation session last night was a bit overwhelming. Too many people, no AC, and lots of stairs.

All of the staff members specified their pronouns. None of them used anything but the he set or the she set, but I'm glad they did it because it's entirely possible that there were kids in the audience who needed reassurance that their pronouns will be respected.

We found someone who wants the Legos that I washed/bleached on Sunday. Scott's sister's SIL's church can use them. She's willing to pick them up. We still have a few other things to give away/donate.

My mother has sent me a url for the parts we need to repair the love seat and chair in the basement. I just need to measure the pieces of the support straps we've still got to make sure we order the right things. I don't know how long it will be before Scott has time to do the work, but getting the parts is the first step.

I'm really done in. If you've sent me something in last few days that requires thought, I might manage it tomorrow, but it's not going to happen today.
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Currently sitting at Skyline, waiting for Cordelia to board the bus to camp. It's raining so we're waiting inside while they load the luggage. Scott's still here. He doesn't have to be at work until 11. My main worry is that we forgot to pack something that Cordelia will actually need.

They misspelled Cordelia's name on her name tag-- Cordilia. She's got a new one now, but her name is wrong everywhere else. The application was online, so I have no idea how they got it wrong.
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I wore myself out completely yesterday, what with dealing with spraying Cordelia's clothes and sorting the crap from the basement. I had to ask Scott to go get me a Wendy's burger in order to be able to think and to stave off a headache that was heading migraine-wards. Two loads of laundry got done, too, but Scott and Cordelia did parts of that.

Scott went out to the Games Library Day in Ypsilanti. I had to ask him to leave early because I used up all of the anti-tick spray for Cordelia's clothing before I got the sweatshirt and the single pair of long pants she's taking. I got all of the t-shirts and shorts.

I started sneezing last night around 9 p.m. and haven't really stopped. I wasn't able to use the c-PAP because of it. I've got the AC cranked just in case it's a ragweed thing (which it might be because it's been cool enough recently for the AC not to run).

We have the meeting for Cordelia's camp orientation tonight at 6:00. I hope there will be signs because telling us to meet 'in the choir room' isn't actually much help with a building that size that none of us know. Cordelia and I have been searching desperately for a set of dress shoes that fit her. We have a single shoe from two different sets (one of which she swears had both shoes in her suitcase two days ago). The second available shoe is navy instead of the required black but will probably pass well enough if I can find the other.

I got a germ of an idea for my UCon game scenario last night, but I'm not sure yet what direction to take it. I'm going to call it a 'home rules' system, though, probably with a note that I'll be mostly using percentile dice.

I have my Darkest Night assignment. I'm going to have to think about it for a little while. I'm confident I can write the fandom and make it dark. I'm just not sure I can use more than one of the freeforms (this is a request that came in after I signed up and that I was sufficiently comfortable with not to run to change my sign up. If it had been there before, I might have tried to avoid it, but I also might not have). Strictly speaking, I only have to use one freeform, but... I like to do better than that.

Given that my Captive Audience story is stalled, I'll be focusing on getting that moving again before I do anything else. I was right that I did almost no writing last week while Scott was home. I think it came to 700 words, all on Saturday right at bedtime.
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I slept eight hours last night, all of it with the c-PAP, but it was very light and not very restful sleep because I still feel like I've been flattened and desperately want to go back to bed. My elbows hurt when I lie on my back for too long (I'm pretty sure that the joints are hyperextending) because there isn't a way I can keep my arms bent without making other things hurt even more.

My parents arrived here about 11:30, and we ended up going to the same Chinese place we went to the last time they came. I had really wanted to go to Totoro which is downtown, but losing that half an hour made it just not really feasible.

My mother texted me around 5:00 to say that the procedure went well and that they were already back in Lawton (two hours away).

Around 3:20, Cordelia, who was at the downtown library, called me to tell me that her best friend had hit her head while volunteering at the same camp where Cordelia did last week. This is the girl who had the bad concussion at the end of May and then needed another ER trip for a relapse two weeks later. I woke Scott and he drove over to get her because we didn't want her to have to wait there or to have to walk up that steep hill in the heat. Cordelia got home about thirty seconds after Scott got her friend here, and the two of them went into Cordelia's room and seemed to be happy. (We'd been kind of worried because the other girl looked kind of out of it and wouldn't talk to either of us.)

I had tried calling the other girl's mother and texting her mother while Scott was getting her but failed to reach her. She called us on the landline about fifteen minutes after her daughter got here. It took her another half an hour to get here because she had to take the bus. The girl said she'd called Cordelia because she didn't have any other numbers for our family, and her mother said she'd correct that oversight as she (the mother) has my cell, Scott's cell, and our landline numbers.

The last I heard, the other girl was doing okay, but that was last night. I kind of suspect that she's not at camp today, but I don't know.

Monday is going to suck hugely. I need to be up for Cordelia at 6:30 and do a fasting blood draw sometime after 8:30 or 9:00 (need to check when UHS opens) which probably means getting down there by bus. At 1:00 I have a uterine ultrasound, also at UHS. In the evening, we need to take Cordelia out to East Ann Arbor for a blood draw.

I wanted to do Cordelia's last night since the place was open until 7:30 (only until 5:30 today and so utterly impossible unless Scott was willing to do it before going to bed which he wasn't). Scott thought that we ought to give Cordelia at least a day's notice. I disagreed strongly, but he went ahead and told her right before he left for work last night. She spent the next hour having something approaching a panic attack and blaming me for it. I am decidedly unhappy with Scott about this.

Also, doing it last night would have made it more likely that, if she needs vitamin supplements or thyroid medication we could still manage to get the camp permission slips for those signed and turned in before departure. Cordelia's pediatrician requires a two day turnaround for those things, so Thursday is the absolute latest we can turn them in and still have them for the orientation meeting the following Monday evening (departure is at 8 a.m. on Tuesday with Cordelia needing to be there at 7 a.m. which is going to be vastly fun given that going by cab means a choice between risking being late and being almost certain to have a half an hour to sit outside the building before they let us in).

I talked to one of the camp organizers Wednesday afternoon about medications and such. She clarified that, although all the forms say that prescriptions need to be held and dispensed by either the nurse or the cabin counselor, prescription topical acne medications are not included under that. I'd have thought, given the age group, that those medications would be common enough to merit some sort of mention of them being an exception.

One of Cordelia's prescriptions has changed dosage, and the bottle is too full for us to be able to get a new one with the new dosing information. The camp is completely inflexible on that. They will administer medications exactly according to label no matter what other documentation you have.
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Cordelia is now saying that she doesn't want to go to camp in August because she doesn't think she can handle a week without me. She also says that she's sure all of the other kids will be awful people and that there will be so many people present that there's no hope of her managing to spend any time with the people she actually knows.

She's been wanting lots of hugs and cuddling and reassurance that I'll always be there for her. She's also afraid any time she lets herself stop and think (mostly in the evenings). Her days have been pretty full, but she comes home and tells me that, even though she had fun, she missed me horribly. I think she's got some sort of worry that, if she's not checking up on me regularly, I'll just vanish.

I finally listened to the voicemail Cordelia's psychiatrist left. She says that the Celexa ought to stay at a steady level for twenty four hours on a single dose and that this may mean the dose is too low. Cordelia is afraid of upping the dose because she's connected her tiredness to the medication. I need to call the doctor back on Monday to discuss it.

Cordelia has more or less mastered swallowing small pills. Last night, she asked what I take for cramps, and I gave her a naproxen. It took her two swallows to get it down, but she did, and she was astonished to discover that it did help.

Her report card came today. It's all A's with an A+ in gym and an A- in algebra. Cordelia's of the opinion that they can't have counted the algebra final in that grade because she thinks that would have taken her down to B+ or even B range. I can't tell from PowerSchool whether or not she's right. It doesn't actually matter. B grades are good, too, and that particular class has been nasty for all the students due to the teacher not being very good.
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Good news on the hysterosonogram-- No fibroids, no polyps. Things aren't quite right in ways that the doctors put down to the Tamoxifen, so they want me to have another scan (not clear if another hysterosonogram is needed or if a uterine ultrasound would be enough) in three or four months. I've got moderate sized (about 2 cm) simple ovarian cysts on both sides. If I understand correctly, because of my age and the size of the cysts, those will have to be rechecked every year unless they go away.

There's some confusion about the appointment I have scheduled for Wednesday morning. UHS's system doesn't show any such appointment ever existing, but the patient portal still shows me that I've got an appointment there at 10:50 Wednesday morning. It popped up with instructions for the appointment last night, and I still have the upcoming appointment reminder I got a few days back and the appointment scheduled message. I would rather not need to go to UHS Wednesday morning, but I also don't want to deal with a missed appointment fee or not go if the doctor has something to say.

I crashed hard yesterday at about 4:30. I don't think I slept, but I also wasn't awake. I lay in bed and didn't move much at all for about three hours until it was absolutely necessary for me to eat something and take my dinner time medications. After that, I ended up staying up until my normal bedtime.

I got a response from my email to Interlochen. They do have accessible cabins, and they supply golf carts for campers who can't manage all of the necessary walking (there's a lot of walking. Certainly more than Cordelia could manage day after day on crutches). My impression from what the contact person said is that they put in temporary ramps for whichever cabins need them, but I could be completely wrong.

Scott and I finished filling out most of the forms last night. There's one more that we need to get Cordelia's doctor to sign before we turn it in, but that one doesn't need to go in until June. I had been under the impression that it wasn't mandatory, but apparently it is. It's a permission slip for giving Cordelia specific OTC medications as needed. The form says they'll only do it twice a month without specific other forms from the doctor filled out for each occasion which seems kind of silly for something like, say, ibuprofen for menstrual cramps.

I need to do some laundry today, and the trash needs to go out. I've already done several minor chores, so I'm resting a bit. I kind of want a nap, but I think I need water more than I need sleep because I had very little water yesterday.

I have some ideas for things I can add onto my Fandom5K to make it work better. My first reader pointed out that there's a good bit of time between the deadline Saturday and the reveal, so I can edit if I come up with more text or change things or whatever. I'm very used to thinking of posting deadlines as the end. One of the changes I should make will be painful because it will involve changing POV for some events and losing a few lines that I love. I don't usually have to do the killing my darlings thing, but this time, I need to.

The OT yesterday showed me some hand flexibility exercises. She also showed me some massage techniques for my hand and then told me that I can't do them because the pressure required would be bad for the thumb on the hand doing the massage. Given that, I'm not quite sure what the point of showing me was. I've got a short list of (hopefully) not too expensive things that might help with the exercises or with tasks that I need to do.

She had a pen that she thought might be easier for me to use. Sadly, I couldn't even get it all the way to the paper. It was too long for me to hold it the way I was supposed to, and the way I need to rest my hand to deal with the tremor was an issue, too. Basically, the things I do to work around the tremor actively conflict with the things I should do for the osteoarthritis. Since I can't write at all without dealing with the tremor and can cope with the osteoarthritis long enough to, say, address an envelope, the tremor coping techniques win.

She also showed me their pain scale which doesn't even remotely match mine. For me, pain bad enough to provoke swearing is a six or a seven. Pain bad enough to want to take medication and/or to be constantly aware of it is a three. For them, swearing is a nine, and medication/awareness is a five to a six. I kind of looked at the chart and thought that it was really for people who don't normally experience pain. It basically stretches out the lower end and has no room at the top for severe pain. I've always assumed that anything that hurt enough to rate a ten would kill me because my body couldn't handle it and that a nine meant pain so bad I passed out or mentally checked out in some other way.

ETA: And the nurse from the gynecology clinic just called to say that, oh, she was wrong and I do have an appointment tomorrow. She thinks I should keep it, and I think her reasoning is sound. If nothing else, I can get clarification about what additional scans I need when and see about scheduling anything that needs doing soon. I think that I would also like the gynecologist to talk to the oncology folks. The pain issues had inclined me heavily toward not going back to the Tamoxifen, and I think this is more on that side of the scale. I'm also kind of curious as to why the radiology report said I was post-menopausal when everyone else keeps saying that I'm not there yet (all of them use 'perimenopausal' except my primary care doctor who hates the term while still acknowledging it as a stage of life. I think she considers it too medically imprecise to be useful).
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I’ve posted my Small Fandom Bang fic. It’s part of the House of Sulfur and Mercury arc, a divergence in which Luke comes back for Merlin himself and Merlin does his best to manipulate Luke.

Nothing False and Possible.

I’ve also posted an if-I-get-hit-by-a-bus draft of my Fandom5K story. Well, I suppose it’s more of an if-life-overwhelms-me-this-week draft because that’s actually what I expect to happen. I’m not entirely happy with the ending, and I want to find someone to look over it for SPaG and for consistency in things like capitalization and the names people use for each other, but I don’t think there’s anything truly horrible that way in there (it’s explicit darkfic, so there are plenty of intentionally horrible things in there). I’ve already had to go in and edit three times after I posted because I forgot to write a summary, to delete some notes, and to set the rating.

Maybe I ought not post when I’m low on sleep?

I’m low on sleep because I kept coughing last night. It was that sort of tickling dry cough that doesn’t do anything except make my throat feel less irritated for a second or three. I only slept at all because I discovered that, if I breathed through a bit of the sheet, I didn’t feel the urge to cough. I suspect dryness in the air as the problem because this didn’t feel like illness or allergies. I spent a lot of the night dreaming but still awake enough to be focused on the necessity of holding the sheet in just the right place even when I rolled over. I was convinced, at one point, that the cough was a curse (of the magical type) that had something to do with me not being vegan.

I’ve paid the deposit for choir camp for Cordelia. I still haven’t gotten an answer to my inquiry about accessibility and all of that, but it’s been a week, and I don’t think I’m ever going to get an answer. I really wish they gave a phone number at the school to call with questions like this. I’ve now emailed the camp directly as the pictures on their website are not encouraging and as they make absolutely no mention of accessibility/accommodation except to mention how to get wheelchair seating for the school affiliated concert hall.

I’d think that Interlochen’s camp buildings would be covered by the ADA’s accessibility requirements. The school might get out of it by saying that this is a completely voluntary thing (in spite of saying that all students are expected to attend), but I don’t know that the camp could.

Of course, Scott thinks Cordelia’s going to refuse the surgery this year at all, that she’ll only consider it when she dislocates her knee again. I think she might go for it, especially if her aunt tells her it’s a good idea. She’s said several times that, much as surgery scares her, she really, really doesn’t want to go through a dislocation again.

Scott tried some pork on Saturday. He was okay with the small amount he had for breakfast, no ill effects, but he had a larger serving in the evening and had some intestinal issues the next day. He’s inclined to put that down to the pork, but there’s a chance that he and I both had an intestinal bug of some sort (I put my Saturday issues in that direction down entirely to anxiety, but who knows?). He’s going to be very unhappy when I point out to him that the turkey bratwurst he bought Saturday have pork casings. Of course, I can’t eat them, either, and I don’t think Cordelia is likely to eat more than one or maybe two. Cooking and then freezing seems indicated.

I’m still kind of desperately hoping for good news from the hysterosonogram on Friday so that I can cancel the gynecology appointment on Wednesday morning. Not getting anything before then doesn’t necessarily mean bad news, but going into the appointment with no idea makes it vastly more stressful. I can’t think of anyone who might be available for hand holding purposes on Wednesday, either. Scott and his sister will both be working, and [personal profile] evalerie has a critical all day appointment for her youngest. Scott's parents won't be back in Michigan until next week, and it will be longer than that before my parents get to Michigan.
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Cordelia’s PT yesterday involved a lot of exercise rather than just stretching and loosening the muscles in her thigh. Her PT homework is also aimed more at strengthening this time than at stretching. The therapist asked her where she stands on surgery. She says she hasn’t decided yet but that she very much doesn’t want this to happen again. She is pretty adamant that she doesn’t want the more extreme surgery, but I think that, if her aunt says it’s a good idea, we might talk Cordelia into it.

The insurance company tells us that our out of pocket for the basic surgery will be $1000. If we do the more extreme version, it will be $2000. We’re not telling Cordelia that because she will panic. Right now, we’re thinking to draw the money out of an investment account that Scott’s parents set up for Cordelia when she was born. I don’t know how much is in there or what the penalties will be for pulling money out before she’s of age, but… This really needs doing.

I’m still waiting to hear back from the choir teacher at Skyline about potential accommodations at Interlochen camp if Cordelia’s on zero weight bearing or even just using crutches when camp time arrives. Not being able to bend her leg will likely be a transportation issue as it’s unlikely that the buses they’ll be using have seats that will allow for that without her either sticking her leg into the aisle or taking up multiple seats. It’s a four hour-ish drive up to camp, so I’m not willing to ask Scott’s parents to drive her up and back (and they are often out of state during August anyway).

One nice thing— The forms for camp specifically say that cabins will be assigned by a child’s ‘consistently asserted gender identity,’ and there’s an option to request a gender neutral cabin. I’m more than a bit off put by the other cabin options because ‘all biologically’ male or female sounds exclusionary. Does that mean that trans and agender and so on kids are only allowed in gender neutral cabins? But the form asks about gender identity with a fill in the blank and doesn’t ask if the child is trans. Cordelia checked no preference on the cabin options. She says she won’t be fussed unless she’s stuck with only boys.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t check off all of my dailies on Habitica yesterday. I haven’t opened the site to look yet. I think, if I did miss, it would be two dailies and not more than that.

I’m making slow progress on deleting my LJ entries (I’ve promised not to delete entirely until mid-May). I’ve just got 2016 and 2017 left, but that’s more than nine hundred posts.

I’m now scheduled for OT again, starting tomorrow morning. The location isn’t particularly convenient, but I should be able to get the A-Ride for it because it’s definitely not on the #22 or #23 route. It’s on the other side of town entirely. I’m not sure what that particular bus route is called now; it used to be the #6. My current plan for tomorrow is the A-Ride to OT then walking two blocks to the stop for the AAATA shuttle that runs from Wolverine Tower to central campus. My appointment at UHS is two hours after my OT appointment is scheduled to end, so even if I have to deal with bureaucratic nonsense afterward, I should have more than enough time. I’ll pack a lunch to carry with me so that I can eat while I wait for the bus.

Okay. Time to call and schedule the A-Ride. They should be open for business now.
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I got up long enough this morning to give Cordelia her medicine and then went back to bed. I didn’t manage to sleep until after Cordelia left at 7:50. I need to remember to ask her to keep the volume low on the TV. Closing the bedroom door helps not at all. At any rate, I slept about another two hours, a bit fitfully but still two more hours.

Apart from being low on sleep and kind of stressed over everything that needs doing, I’m feeling a hell of a lot better since I stopped the Tamoxifen. As I said to my SIL yesterday, I’m not suddenly getting spikes of pain in my hands that make me scream any longer. My hands still hurt, but it’s more low level and constant which I can deal with better. The Achille’s tendon hurts a lot more, and I’m not quite sure what to do about that.

Scott was still feeling a bit icky when he got up this morning. I’ve texted him to see how he’s holding up now. I think we’ll stick with fish and poultry for him this week and then maybe try some pork when he’s got a clear weekend.

Our nephew is pretty much confirmed as an Eagle Scout. They’re waiting on the official word from National, but the review board approved him, so National is a rubber stamp. His current plan for fall is to attend the community college near us (we live about half an hour away from their family) and then transfer two Michigan State in the winter. I don’t know that him going to school a short distance away will mean us seeing him more often, but I’ve told his mother that I’d be happy to feed him lunches or whatever. I suppose I should actually talk to him about it directly.

Cordelia tried her aunt’s green bean casserole and tells us that she very much wants to have it again. I thought it was horribly bland and tasteless, but… I can make that if it’s something Cordelia will enjoy and actually eat.

Today’s primary goal is to fill out the forms for high school choir camp. The deadline for getting those forms in is Wednesday. I had thought it would be much, much later and so hadn’t even looked at what needs doing. Scott says that we can— just— afford the camp. It will entirely devour our tax refund, though. I need to call or email the teacher in charge because I have questions I need answered before I commit $470. It would suck majorly to spend the money and then find that Cordelia couldn’t go because of needing accommodations.
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Cordelia spent every afternoon this week at camp. I read a vast number of manga volumes while sitting and waiting for the sessions to end. Normally, I read down near the community gardens. There are benches there and shade and a pleasant breeze.

On Monday, however, the bugs were so bad that I had to retreat. Most of them weren't biting bugs, but they were all over and wanted to crawl on me. I couldn't take it, so I spent the week sitting on a bench just outside the building where Cordelia's group met. I suppose I should count myself lucky that she was in the Nature House as that's the best of the lot for waiting outside. The Critter House has no shade and no bathroom access, and the Leslie House has no bathroom access.

One of the counselors wasn't sure who I was and kept giving me weird looks all week. This afternoon, he finally asked if I was one of the parents and looked relieved to be told that, yes, I was. He'd only seen me drop Cordelia off and pick her up all week.

I was lucky in that it wasn't all that hot this week. The Geodon inhibits my ability to sweat and so limits my ability to cool off. I took twice as much water with me as I did last year but ended up realizing that it benefitted me more to put it on my face and neck than it did when I drank it. August will be less fun, I suspect. I'm hoping I'll have some better coping mechanisms by then.

My right leg is not entirely happy about camp because getting there and coming home involves steep hills. I'm supposed to avoid those when I can as it aggravates the tendonitis. The leg isn't hurting, but it is red. I have two ways to control the swelling. The first is those support socks they sell for travelers. The second is ankle socks. My primary care doctor suggested the former, and the sports medicine doctor she referred me to suggested the latter. The ankle socks are much, much cheaper and can be laundered normally, so I have six pairs of them and only one of the support socks.

(The left knee issue has been confirmed as a bone bruise. It'll be a few more months before I should expect it to be gone. The sports medicine doctor suggested that, if I need to kneel a lot, I buy heavy duty pads. He liked the idea of a six inch thick foam mattress that could be cut up into smaller pieces and also mentioned auto sponges. I'm doing neither and just trying not to kneel, instead. I can manage 98% of my life without kneeling. Figuring out a way around the other 2% is cheaper than his solutions.)

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