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Scott and I set out about 9:30, and we got home with Cordelia a bit after 8:00. It was a really long drive. Scott and I listened to podcasts and an audiobook on the way up. The Hamilton soundtrack played the entire way back because Cordelia finds it soothing and because Scott and Cordelia both sing along with the whole thing.

We got to the area near Interlochen about an hour before we were to pick Cordelia up, so we got lunch at the only restaurant we could find. It wasn't terrible. It also wasn't great. I finished my meal still feeling hungry and without any options for more food.

The Interlochen campus is really nice. I'd have liked to look around more (and the unclaimed Ingress portals only had a little bit to do with it), but Cordelia was really eager to get out of there.

Scott's parents invited us to stop by on our way home, and we did. The timing worked out that we arrived a little after 6:00, so they fed us dinner-- chicken, asparagus, mashed potatoes, and salad.

I dropped my Ativan tablet last night and couldn't find it (those things are tiny!), so I slept without it. I was exhausted enough that I slept soundly until Scott's alarm. After he got up, I didn't get back to sleep until he left. That wasn't because of him. It was me feeling too warm then too cold then having my neck hurt then... Well, on and on.

My allergy trouble hasn't come back. I'm hoping it won't, but the cleaning lady coming today may set me off again because the various cleaning products cause me problems breathing (one of the big reasons we have her come in).
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I slept pretty badly last night. I was still sneezing and all that, so I couldn't use the c-PAP. I seem to be doing better in that regard this morning, but I woke when the Benadryl wore off in the middle of the night.

Our current best guess as to the problem is a combination of dust, ragweed, and the c-PAP. The dust and ragweed wouldn't normally give me this much trouble, not at the levels they've been at. I think that my sinuses have been irritated by the c-PAP and so are more reactive to other things. I haven't had a summer this bad for allergies since I was in high school.

All of my plans for the week, such as they were, have been shot to hell. They mainly consisted of writing and watching DVDs that can't be renewed (I have about fifty hours of lectures on DVD that can't be renewed) and more writing.

We have a very long day ahead of us as we'll be heading up to Interlochen to bring Cordelia home. (There are reasons for this that I'm not willing to go into in a public post.) It's been a hard decision, and I still need to make some phone calls about it. Part of me wants to go back to bed and to send Scott on his own, but that would be unfair to him. He could do it. He would, too, if it was necessary, but I can go.

We plan to get on the road as soon as we're both dressed and both have had breakfast.
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I'll be going to Medequip tomorrow to try on some different masks. The idea is to find something that won't irritate my sinuses to the point of days of sneezing. The current one doesn't provoke that all of the time.

I want to nap, but my sinuses are still in rebellion. I'm not sure if it's the c-PAP or the ragweed or the dust from cleaning. It might be all three. I used my neti pot (I don't very often, just when I'm worried that something like dust or pollen might be setting me off).

The orientation session last night was a bit overwhelming. Too many people, no AC, and lots of stairs.

All of the staff members specified their pronouns. None of them used anything but the he set or the she set, but I'm glad they did it because it's entirely possible that there were kids in the audience who needed reassurance that their pronouns will be respected.

We found someone who wants the Legos that I washed/bleached on Sunday. Scott's sister's SIL's church can use them. She's willing to pick them up. We still have a few other things to give away/donate.

My mother has sent me a url for the parts we need to repair the love seat and chair in the basement. I just need to measure the pieces of the support straps we've still got to make sure we order the right things. I don't know how long it will be before Scott has time to do the work, but getting the parts is the first step.

I'm really done in. If you've sent me something in last few days that requires thought, I might manage it tomorrow, but it's not going to happen today.
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I wore myself out completely yesterday, what with dealing with spraying Cordelia's clothes and sorting the crap from the basement. I had to ask Scott to go get me a Wendy's burger in order to be able to think and to stave off a headache that was heading migraine-wards. Two loads of laundry got done, too, but Scott and Cordelia did parts of that.

Scott went out to the Games Library Day in Ypsilanti. I had to ask him to leave early because I used up all of the anti-tick spray for Cordelia's clothing before I got the sweatshirt and the single pair of long pants she's taking. I got all of the t-shirts and shorts.

I started sneezing last night around 9 p.m. and haven't really stopped. I wasn't able to use the c-PAP because of it. I've got the AC cranked just in case it's a ragweed thing (which it might be because it's been cool enough recently for the AC not to run).

We have the meeting for Cordelia's camp orientation tonight at 6:00. I hope there will be signs because telling us to meet 'in the choir room' isn't actually much help with a building that size that none of us know. Cordelia and I have been searching desperately for a set of dress shoes that fit her. We have a single shoe from two different sets (one of which she swears had both shoes in her suitcase two days ago). The second available shoe is navy instead of the required black but will probably pass well enough if I can find the other.

I got a germ of an idea for my UCon game scenario last night, but I'm not sure yet what direction to take it. I'm going to call it a 'home rules' system, though, probably with a note that I'll be mostly using percentile dice.

I have my Darkest Night assignment. I'm going to have to think about it for a little while. I'm confident I can write the fandom and make it dark. I'm just not sure I can use more than one of the freeforms (this is a request that came in after I signed up and that I was sufficiently comfortable with not to run to change my sign up. If it had been there before, I might have tried to avoid it, but I also might not have). Strictly speaking, I only have to use one freeform, but... I like to do better than that.

Given that my Captive Audience story is stalled, I'll be focusing on getting that moving again before I do anything else. I was right that I did almost no writing last week while Scott was home. I think it came to 700 words, all on Saturday right at bedtime.
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I saw the nutritionist yesterday. She suggested that it might be helpful for me to see a nutritionist attached to one of the specialty clinics. She specifically mentioned two, but gastroenterology is the only one I remember. The other one made sense, too, but I can't for the life of me remember. The primary thing I need help with is dealing with fatigue and inability to sleep properly due to family realities. I spend a lot of time eating to stay awake or to stay able to think even when staying awake isn't a problem.

A lot of the advice for how I should eat also runs aground on anxiety related problems in terms of how my body responds to food. Both the reflux and the IBS are vastly dependent on my anxiety levels, not immediately but over days, weeks, and months. One bad day is trivial. One good day is also trivial. When I'm having a lot of anxiety, I don't dare eat much in the way of fruits or vegetables because they all spike the IBS. The things that are safe are things like plain potatoes, white rice, some types of bread, oatmeal, and plain pasta.

People keep saying, "Why don't you just sleep in a different room?" and then I laugh. The only available 'other room' is the partially finished basement which has no emergency egress and is therefore illegal for that purpose. Also, when you're down there, you can still hear everything happening upstairs. Someone just walking around is enough to keep sounder sleepers than I am awake (friends and relatives have complained about it).

Earplugs don't help, nor do masks over my eyes to keep out the light. The real problem is-- How to put it? Activation might be the best word, I think. I need to know that Scott and Cordelia are okay and in bed before my brain will let me settle. The only way to get around that is a lot of practice, possibly months before it takes, or medication.

I exchanged emails with the sleep disorders clinician I've been seeing. She says that she's got an idea for a different mask that might decrease my problems with coughing/sneezing from using the c-PAP. She doesn't think the one she originally prescribed to replace the nasal pillows is the right choice. I do think I might do better with a mask than with the nasal pillows because those keep moving out of place. I woke about three times in the early morning today because the weight of the hose had pulled the pillows sideways (I was on my back) enough that one was no longer anywhere near the right place. The machine still thought I had a good seal, so I have no idea how it measures that.
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I've gotten the results on the uterine ultrasound, and, hm, well most everything looks fine. It's just that the report twice mentions something that they couldn't quite get a good look at that may or may not have really been there and that they're ruling 'clinically insignificant' without explaining why. I will be seeing the gynecologist tomorrow and asking exactly what that means. If nothing else, my breast cancer experience shows that, just because something can't be seen clearly. doesn't mean it's not there or not important.

Scott and I voted this afternoon. There was no wait at all. I wish more people would turn out for these primaries because they determine the city council. The winner of the Democratic primary almost always runs unopposed or opposed only by an independent candidate. Only about 10% of eligible voters (if that many) turn out for off year primaries.

Scott and Cordelia are out shopping for some things Cordelia needs for camp next week. Scott is convinced that everything she needs can be wedged into one of our small suitcases (we don't have any medium sized suitcases), but I'm not certain that Cordelia will be able to do it unaided. Since they will have daily cabin inspections with the expectation that everything not currently on the child be in the suitcase... Um.

I thought about going with them, but I'm very tired, and Scott doesn't get all that much time with just him and Cordelia.

I didn't get up until about 9:30 this morning. When I got up, I felt like I might actually be starting to get to a better place in terms of resolving my sleep deficit, but I don't know. I lost my oomph mid-afternoon after I got Cordelia's clothes washed and the trash and recycling out and a couple of other every day chores out of the way. I completely lacked the wherewithal to feed myself lunch.
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Yesterday continued as one of the worst headache days in recent memory. The sinus part more or less went away (but my sinuses itched), but anxiety/stress made my shoulders, neck, and the back of my head hurt terribly, and the main headache moved above my eyes to become a classic (for me) migraine. I was even light sensitive.

I took Amerge. I tried to nap. I tried stretches and relaxation. I tried writing a to do list for the rest of the month and giving it to Scott to see if he could help me make it smaller. He dealt with talking to the sports medicine surgeon and with the groceries (except that he forgot something that I really will need for tomorrow). It turns out that he has access to email Cordelia's patient portal (I don't ) and could just send a message through that instead of calling.

I slept badly last night and ended up getting up at about 7 a.m. (after going to bed at about 2 a.m.) because I had horrible reflux of the sort I only get when I'm really, really falling apart due to anxiety. Omeprozale and oatmeal did enough to let me lie down again, and I dreamed a bit, so I must have slept at least a little.

I'm not sure anything much is going to help until I'm through today and tomorrow. I need to do all of that stuff without Ativan because my prescription says one a day and I'm using that one to let me sleep with the c-PAP on. My doctor says taking more than one a day is fine, but I can't refill the damned thing before thirty days have passed, so doubling up means skipping some other day.

Scott has decreed that I'm not going to the Eagle Scout ceremony for our nephew. It's better for me that way, but I feel guilty because I missed his graduation party, too.

Hm. For tomorrow, they want the fasting blood draw to be in the window between 10 and 12 hours of fasting. They open at 8:00 a.m., and I can't eat after 8:00 p.m. if I want to be able to sleep before 3:00 a.m. I have no idea how to manage this. Given when Cordelia leaves and the buses in general, I can't get there before 9:00. If Scott's able to stay up long enough to get me to UHS, it will still likely be 8:15 or 8:30 when we arrive because of traffic. The window used to be between 12 and 16 hours fasting.

I might be able to get the blood draw done somewhere else. Most of the clinics affiliated with the university open at 7:00 a.m., but I'd have to get there without Scott's help because of Cordelia needing one of us at home up until 7:50. I'm not willing to take the bus at that time of day because that bus is a major, major commuter shuttle between the park and ride lots and the hospital and central campus.
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Okay, I have to make it clear to Scott that, no matter how cool it is outside, we are not opening the windows again until all of the ragweed is dead. He opened them around 6 last night and left them open when he went to work. I didn't try to close them because I have a very difficult time getting the windows to move. I'm now sneezing like crazy and have the worst sinus headache I've had in years. I've shut the windows as well as I can (Scott's asleep), and I think I'm going to have to force the AC to run in order to try to clear the air in here. I've taken all of the allergy medication that I can. The next step is a sinus wash. I just hate doing that.

I suppose I should consider it a win that it now takes several hours for ragweed to knock me on my ass? When I was a kid, I was miserable for months each year because of it. Seven years of allergy shots did something.

I wrote 1300 words last night. Sadly, none of it was for my Captive Audience story. I also worked a bit on my Darkest Night sign up. I think there are enough requests that I'd enjoy doing now to make signing up feasible. I will likely wait until the last minute to make sure that I'm not offering something that might match on something I can't or don't want to write. There are some things requested that I've looked at and realized that, while I could write for those requests, I wouldn't enjoy it. I think that part of my problem is that I don't much want to write anything sexually dark for this. I've written a lot of that this summer and would like to write something dark in a completely different way.

I'm trying to get myself to the point of being able to respond politely to a couple of comments on Auguries of Innocence (my Harry Potter darkfic AU). The comments are from someone who wants me to do terrible things to Harry and Hermione for having become ruthless people who sometimes do terrible things but to redeem Ron (who has done and continues to do equally horrible things) so that I can have an endgame with the commenter's OTP-- Ron/Draco-- living happily ever after.

I am hoping to take the story in a 'things get better' direction, but I really think that, in that story, Draco's idea of happily ever after won't involve being paired with anyone at all. I also think it likely that the current Harry/Ron/Hermione relationship isn't going to end during the course of the story because it's actually pretty stable, given the givens.

I ended up lying down for a while yesterday because I was so tired I could barely stay upright, but I didn't sleep because every position I tried lying in hurt. I ended up having Scott get me a Wendy's double with cheese (and the staff there screwed up the order and gave me one with everything instead of just cheese and meat and bun, so I had to throw out the top bun. At least the lettuce kept the ketchup, mayo, and mustard from getting on the burger itself). That got me through about four hours, up until Scott left for work. I was even able to do the dishes and run some laundry.

At that point, though, I was in that weird zone where I was nodding off but my body was too tense for me to feel like sleep was even remotely possible. I think I got about six hours of sleep before Scott came to bed. After that, I got another three, but it was all of the sort where my brain kept clawing for consciousness over my body's objections. I think that a big part of that was the sinus headache which felt, the whole time, like I needed to remove the front of my head from the eyeballs down.

I just feel like, every time I ought to be able to get a refreshing night of sleep, something else smacks me and makes it not happen.

I ended up ordering a bunch of not very expensive items ($3-$7) from my Amazon wishlist and from Cordelia's. I got nine items for about $50. I'm hoping to use the stuff for Cordelia as a well done gift after we actually do the blood draw on Monday.
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I slept eight hours last night, all of it with the c-PAP, but it was very light and not very restful sleep because I still feel like I've been flattened and desperately want to go back to bed. My elbows hurt when I lie on my back for too long (I'm pretty sure that the joints are hyperextending) because there isn't a way I can keep my arms bent without making other things hurt even more.

My parents arrived here about 11:30, and we ended up going to the same Chinese place we went to the last time they came. I had really wanted to go to Totoro which is downtown, but losing that half an hour made it just not really feasible.

My mother texted me around 5:00 to say that the procedure went well and that they were already back in Lawton (two hours away).

Around 3:20, Cordelia, who was at the downtown library, called me to tell me that her best friend had hit her head while volunteering at the same camp where Cordelia did last week. This is the girl who had the bad concussion at the end of May and then needed another ER trip for a relapse two weeks later. I woke Scott and he drove over to get her because we didn't want her to have to wait there or to have to walk up that steep hill in the heat. Cordelia got home about thirty seconds after Scott got her friend here, and the two of them went into Cordelia's room and seemed to be happy. (We'd been kind of worried because the other girl looked kind of out of it and wouldn't talk to either of us.)

I had tried calling the other girl's mother and texting her mother while Scott was getting her but failed to reach her. She called us on the landline about fifteen minutes after her daughter got here. It took her another half an hour to get here because she had to take the bus. The girl said she'd called Cordelia because she didn't have any other numbers for our family, and her mother said she'd correct that oversight as she (the mother) has my cell, Scott's cell, and our landline numbers.

The last I heard, the other girl was doing okay, but that was last night. I kind of suspect that she's not at camp today, but I don't know.

Monday is going to suck hugely. I need to be up for Cordelia at 6:30 and do a fasting blood draw sometime after 8:30 or 9:00 (need to check when UHS opens) which probably means getting down there by bus. At 1:00 I have a uterine ultrasound, also at UHS. In the evening, we need to take Cordelia out to East Ann Arbor for a blood draw.

I wanted to do Cordelia's last night since the place was open until 7:30 (only until 5:30 today and so utterly impossible unless Scott was willing to do it before going to bed which he wasn't). Scott thought that we ought to give Cordelia at least a day's notice. I disagreed strongly, but he went ahead and told her right before he left for work last night. She spent the next hour having something approaching a panic attack and blaming me for it. I am decidedly unhappy with Scott about this.

Also, doing it last night would have made it more likely that, if she needs vitamin supplements or thyroid medication we could still manage to get the camp permission slips for those signed and turned in before departure. Cordelia's pediatrician requires a two day turnaround for those things, so Thursday is the absolute latest we can turn them in and still have them for the orientation meeting the following Monday evening (departure is at 8 a.m. on Tuesday with Cordelia needing to be there at 7 a.m. which is going to be vastly fun given that going by cab means a choice between risking being late and being almost certain to have a half an hour to sit outside the building before they let us in).

I talked to one of the camp organizers Wednesday afternoon about medications and such. She clarified that, although all the forms say that prescriptions need to be held and dispensed by either the nurse or the cabin counselor, prescription topical acne medications are not included under that. I'd have thought, given the age group, that those medications would be common enough to merit some sort of mention of them being an exception.

One of Cordelia's prescriptions has changed dosage, and the bottle is too full for us to be able to get a new one with the new dosing information. The camp is completely inflexible on that. They will administer medications exactly according to label no matter what other documentation you have.
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I got about seven hours of sleep last night, all with the c-PAP. I'm noticing that I sleep more lightly during the second half of the night when I use the c-PAP all night. My guess is that the Ativan is wearing off and that I'm still not quite beyond the anxiety freak out stage of wearing the gear. I'm very, very tired today. I feel like I shouldn't be because I did sleep, but I really am.

Cordelia had an appointment at 9:45 this morning. I tried to get it earlier so that Scott would be home and in bed earlier, but the doctor simply wasn't available. Still, that's early enough that a lot of parking structures downtown (where the appointment was) limit parking severely to discourage commuters.

I've got one call I must make today and a second that I really should make today. I don't want to deal with either, and being tired makes it all that much harder. As a way of indicating how much I don't want to make the calls, I've been filling out forms in preference.

Cordelia needs to be in bed earlyish tonight because she has a volunteer shift at the downtown library at 9 a.m. Scott will likely be able to drive her in before he goes to bed, but I'd like her to take the bus if she can so that he doesn't have to stay up an extra hour.

My step-father is scheduled for his eye procedure at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon. Mom suggested we all (except Scott) get lunch beforehand. Since Cordelia's volunteer shift will end at 11:00, I suspect that we'll end up meeting her downtown right about then. I need to come up with a list of options because just wandering around to find something that looks good would use up our time rapidly. There are so very many restaurants in that general area, three or four a block.

My hands and my left elbow are still giving me a lot of trouble. I'm not sure what to do about it. I need to use them, but anything heavier than my cell phone is bad for my hands, and moving the elbow hurts even when my hand is empty, enough so that I'm thinking of digging out a sling to see if that helps.
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I didn't get around to napping yesterday. I followed a link to an interesting sounding story that turned out to be 78K words and thought I'd just read a little to see if it was worth keeping the tab open. Then I kept reading. Just one more chapter!

And then Scott got up.

I tried to nap after Cordelia got home, but Scott somehow missed that I was trying to sleep and blasted Full Frontal monologues. He just wasn't paying attention. He apologized once I gave up and returned to the living room and asked him if he had done it deliberately.

Scott cooked the turkey breast while I tried to nap. That was a matter of checking if it had thawed, unwrapping it, and putting it in the instant pot.

I slept about ten hours last night, all with the c-PAP, and that helped a lot. Well, the sleep did. I still can't tell if the c-PAP is doing anything but annoying me.

I'm not sure what's going to happen today. Normally, Scott would go for groceries, but by the time he wakes, it may be too late. Saturdays, Kroger gets more and more crowded as it gets later in the day, and they run out of some things. Also, there are a couple of things that we want to do in the afternoon-- A friend offered to come over to play some board games, and Scott would really, really like that (I would really, really like a chance to see someone who isn't Scott or Cordelia). Cordelia wants to go downtown, to the Cupcake Factory. She's been talking about that off and on since Tuesday. I think that could reasonably wait until tomorrow when we go to the library.

I think I know how to start working around the plot hole in my Captive Audience story. Possibly. Actually being awake today is likely to help a lot, too.
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I managed to finish the [community profile] pod_together fic last night about 11:00. I haven't posted it yet because it lacks a title. I'm also still hoping to hear back from my partner in the undertaking, but we're not in compatible time zones, so it's difficult.

I also need a tag that I can use for when a character talks to an externalized manifestation of their own psyche in order to hash out a problem. There must be one, right? Any suggestions?

I woke with a migraine this morning. I think it's a multi-factor thing. I slept less last night than I wanted to because Scott took forever (two hours!) getting ready for bed after I was ready to sleep. Then, when he came to bed, he kept doing stuff with his laptop until I asked him why he was still up and still keeping me up. I had some coughing, so I didn't dare use the c-PAP. I was stressed about the story and about the family gathering this afternoon (BIL's birthday), and a number of other things. There's also some indication that my body may be preparing for a period (though I'm skeptical because been spotting off and on since late June. If I didn't already have a gynecology appointment on the 9th, I'd probably have called already to see about setting one up).

The lack of sleep and stress are making me ache. I'm wearing thumb splints today because I can't do what I need to otherwise. I have to wrap the present for our BIL some time in the next half hour (Scott's trying to repair the dryer). We only have Christmas wrapping paper.

What I really want to do is to lie down and nap. There just isn't time.
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I had hoped to go to bed early last night because I thought it might help me actually recover from the headache and because I was draggingly exhausted and nodding off. Sadly for me, Cordelia ended up having friends over. We'd said yes to that about a week ago, and then none of her friends responded to say whether or not they were coming. Then, last night, one girl showed up, and she and Cordelia talked a third girl into coming over. The guests didn't leave until 10:30 when I told Scott that he had to tell them it was time (I was having trouble staying upright at that point).

I still had the headache when Scott's alarm went off. I ended up getting up and taking an Amerge and some naproxen. Those and a couple of cold packs let me sleep another three hours. I woke with the headache gone.

I finished the Labyrinth story for [community profile] pod_together by about 7:00 last night. I'm reasonably pleased with it. I haven't started the other story yet, but I think I know where to start. I'm still tempted by the options I've decided not to go with. I asked for a week's extension on the second story but still want to get it done as soon as I can.

[personal profile] captiveaudience has a dozen people signed up, and nobody new has signed up since the 9th. I'm a little sad about that because this is a practically bulletproof story type for me, and I'd like to see more people writing it. I know it's a niche thing, though. I can write for about half of the other people signed up, so I'm matchable as a writer. I have no idea if I'm matchable as a recipient.

I nominated for Darkest Night but am still not sure if I'll sign up or just write treats (or pinch hits). I will probably wait to see if there are requests that I'd be very interested in writing before I decide. Two of my freeform tags haven't been approved yet even though it's been several days, so possibly the moderators have questions about them.

I have posted several WIP to AO3, things that I may never finish (and that I clearly indicated that fact about). Tagging them was hard because they're complicated AUs. I'm still not sure I used the right tags.

Our nephew's graduation party is tomorrow. Does anybody know-- Are casual clothes okay for a high school graduation party? I'm kind of assuming they are, but I'd hate to find out differently on arriving. The party's at his family's house and will, I think, be at least partly out of doors. Scott has done nothing whatsoever about a gift. I prodded him about a couple of times because I thought it might make sense to go in on something like a mini fridge or microwave with his brother.

We also have to figure out a birthday present for Scott's sister's husband as his birthday is in about two weeks.

Cordelia has set a goal to visit all the branches of the library. I'm pretty sure that it's partly because of her wanting the summer game codes from those branches and partly to get out of the house with an actual defined goal/destination. I think she's got two branches left now, and she just left for one of them. She'll hang out there for a while if it's comfortable and maybe buy herself some vending machine coffee or something.

I'm tempted to lie down again for a nap. There's no strong reason why I shouldn't, but part of me feels like I shouldn't. I think I'm too tired to write or to read, so why on earth should I stay awake?
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I'm having less allergy trouble today, but I slept very, very badly last night. I kept choking on post nasal drip, and my sinuses ached pretty horribly. I hope that Scott slept better than I did, but I don't know for sure. I didn't even try the c-PAP. I'm hoping that I can get back to that tonight.

I have to take Cordelia out to Domino Farms for a doctor's appointment. That means taking a cab, and given construction, I'm wondering if I ought to allow more time for the trip. Then again, maybe the cabbie will be sensible and get around that bit by taking 14 to 23 to Plymouth Rd instead of Plymouth Rd straight through. It wouldn't normally be faster, but right now, I think it is, especially in the middle of the day when the highway isn't backed up.

Scott will likely be able to pick us up after the appointment. He has PT at 5:00, so he's not likely to work late.

The appointment is the only thing we absolutely have to do today. We might have people over this evening for either Scott's Firefly game or board games, but I'm worried that I won't be up to it. I'm not sure if Scott would want to run without me. I feel bad because it's been a while since we got together, but I really do feel like crap.

I very much want to do some writing. I posted my Not Prime Time story yesterday, but I have something else, a treat for a different exchange, almost done. I also need to start two other stories for something else entirely.

Scott took Cordelia to Traverwood yesterday to renew her library card. The timing was bad, so the road he'd normally take was backed up for about three blocks from the four way stop sign at the bottom of the hill. He tried another route only to discover that that road doesn't currently go through, due to construction. Cordelia knew that but didn't understand what he was trying to do, so they got all the way out there and then had to come all the way back. I had wondered why I had time to shower and then sit around for another half an hour while they were gone, and that all explains it.

Scott is going to be working Saturday. His company wants full production then in the hope that they'll be able to give everyone Sunday through Tuesday off. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because three days would be really, really nice. Also, given that he took Monday off this week, Saturday only makes a five day work week for him as opposed to a six day.

Okay, half an hour to come up with food for me and Cordelia and get everything ready to go...
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Cordelia spent last night with her best friend, a sleepover. They went to a movie at Top of the Park (outdoor showing), so they were out quite late. I think they saw Hidden Figures. The girls are eager to go to more of these movies. The main difficulty is getting them home afterward. I don't think the buses run that late, and Scott can't stay up for that. I doubt the other girl's parents can either.

My psychiatrist says I should use Ativan every night for a while in the hope that that will get me used to the c-PAP. We discussed Lunesta as an option as well, but I wasn't keen on it because new medications that sedate me can send my anxiety through the roof. Lunesta might not since it's supposed to make a person fall asleep really, really fast, but... I thought trying Ativan first was wiser.

She also wants me to practice taking the gear off and putting it back on in as close to night time darkness as I can manage in the hope that that will help the anxiety caused by feeling less able to respond to an emergency. (What sort of emergency, I can't imagine. The anxiety portions of my brain are simply adamant that I must be prepared for emergencies at all times. All possible emergencies rather than anything specific.) There's a reason that, when I startle awake, including with an alarm, I wake pretty completely and can function immediately, no matter how tired I am. That ability to function fades as the day goes on.

I took an Ativan last night and used the c-PAP until Scott's alarm at 5 a.m. I slept without it after that until about 8:30 when Cordelia texted me with a question. That's two hours longer than I'd have slept on a school night. I'm still tired, but I'm able to function. Maybe this will work.

I'm starting to get a headache now, so I'm going to lie down for a while.
the_rck: (Default)
I slept terribly last night. My body wouldn't relax enough for sleeping for the first few hours. I'm pretty sure that it was mostly stress over needing to go out today for an appointment. I should have taken an Ativan, but getting up to do it seemed like way too much effort.

Cordelia dragged me out of bed in a panic at midnight because she'd looked at the bus website and discovered that the bus she'd planned to take to the Traverwood library today and Thursday is detoured and won't go there. There's a chunk of the route that's completely closed, so they have a bus (the A shuttle) covering the part of the route from our place to the closed area and then a bus (the B shuttle) covering from the closed area to the other end of the route. The first bus, on its way back toward downtown, takes a longish detour out to Kroger in order to let people transfer to the bus for the other half of the route. That other half seems to go to the library, but it looks like it would take a good bit longer than the normal route.

Right now, the plan is for Cordelia to catch either the A shuttle just as it starts its detour to Kroger or the bus that normally runs up and down that road and to get off at the street that leads to the library. She'll have to cross a busy road, but there's a light there, and I don't think the walk is all that far. It is possibly farther than I could comfortably walk right now, but I can't walk all that far.

I'm glad to know about the detour because that's the bus I would normally take to get to Kroger, and I'd have absolutely panicked if I got to the point where the road is closed and didn't know what was going on. I don't like the other bus option for getting there, even though the trip is shorter, because it requires crossing five lanes of traffic and because I'm not quite sure where the stop is along there.

Cordelia went downtown to the library yesterday because she had some holds that came in late on Sunday, after we'd already been down there. She was really pleased by how easy it was to get there and is trying to get me to suggest destinations that she might enjoy.

I'm hoping that my psychiatrist (who I'll see today) will have some ideas for making the c-PAP work. All of the alternatives available to me sound pretty terrible. I think it's possible that she'll tell me to take Ativan every night for a week or two to see if I get to the point where my brain accepts that the c-PAP doesn't actually reduce my chances of surviving an emergency. I'm pretty sure that that's my basic problem, and it's not amenable to me wearing the gear while awake to get used to it because it's not the gear that's the problem-- It's my sense that, when asleep, I'm hugely vulnerable and can't afford anything that makes me less able to react. This is a problem that I've had with medications that make me mentally fuzzy.

Today's to do list )
the_rck: (Default)
Okay, I think I need to move the nap up my list of priorities. I'm feeling lightheaded with occasional dizziness (is dizziness the right term when I sometimes look at words on a page and they swirl?), and fatigue is the most likely cause. I looked at what I've eaten and at how much water I've had. I haven't started any new meds. I don't have other symptoms. The dizziness doesn't seem to relate to what position I'm in, standing, sitting, or lying down. It might relate to me turning rapidly which would make an inner ear thing more likely, I think.

I considered going out to the grocery store because Scott didn't get everything I needed for making the bean salad (I was a bit too ambiguous on the grocery list) and because having some snacks for when friends come over this evening would be nice. It just seems like a terrible idea if I might have a sudden few seconds of dizziness while, say, crossing a street.

I have at least managed almost everything I need to do that requires walking around. I think this is a good reason to order delivery for lunch rather than trying to cook.
the_rck: (Default)
Our nephew has graduated. There were more than four hundred kids in his class, so it took a long time for them all to cross the stage. As we were driving away after, I asked if anyone had seen a single student who wasn't white. Cordelia said she saw one and that she was glad she wasn't the only one who noticed.

The EMU Convocation Center was not a pleasant place. The seats were painfully small, and so were the rows. I could barely stand by the end. The pain levels were high. Also, everything was so very steep that I was surprised that nobody died. The backs of the seats for each row were about even with the floor of the row behind. I'm not normally afraid of heights, but I was scared to death that I would fall because I was not feeling particularly steady to begin with. Scott's parents had saved us seats in the middle of the row, so we had to squeeze past people to get there. The stairs (I have no idea if there was any seating accessible without stairs) had railings in some spots but also had gaps in the railing of two to three feet at a time which combined very badly with the steepness on the way down after the ceremony.

I was so exhausted that I almost didn't make it to our car. There wasn't any option for me to sit somewhere and wait for Scott to bring the car by, though. I ended up leaning pretty heavily on Scott, and he kept trying to find somewhere for me to wait. There just wasn't anywhere.

I took Ativan a couple of hours before the ceremony. I shudder to think how I'd have felt without it. I fiddled with my cell phone and leaned on Scott and Cordelia in turn in order to deal with the anxiety. I did a bit of holding onto Scott as tightly as I could, too.

My gastroenterology appointment was relatively quick, once the doctor was free to see me. She was a little more than half an hour behind, but all we needed to do was to check in that nothing major had changed and that the medications were still working. Then I made an appointment for June of 2018, and that was that. Scott was able to pick me up which was a relief. I wasn't entirely sure I'd make it up the hill if I took the bus home.

I spent a large chunk of today in bed. I had a migraine that took forever to go away, even with medication, and I've been sneezing a lot with both a runny nose and sinus pressure. I'm not having dinner tonight because we have nothing in the house that won't make me sick (well, nothing that could be prepared in the time we had), one way or the other. I'm not pleased about this. It's now past when I can safely eat anything beyond air popped popcorn (which we don't have) or vanilla ice cream (which I can't have when my allergies are this active).
the_rck: (Default)
I've got the laundry all washed, and one load is dry and upstairs.

I very much want to nap, but I need to be ready to leave here in less than two hours, and I don't think there's time. I also think that I'm too stressed to sleep. I'm delaying taking Ativan because I think that I will need it more for our nephew's graduation which starts seven hours from now than I do for the appointment.

I've had four cups of black tea so far today and 12 oz of Coca-Cola.

I'm trying to figure out whether or not to dress up before going to my appointment. I'm not sure I'll have time to change after. Of course, I'm also not sure I have anything even remotely dressy that fits and has short sleeves.

Also, it's kind of wet outside, and, depending on timing, I may have to take the bus home. I don't think it's currently raining, but it's threatening, and everything out there is wet from earlier rain. Our concrete front steps, which are usually grayish, are kind of brown right now.

I'm also not sure that I'll get dinner tonight. It will depend on when my appointment ends and how long it takes me to get home. I'm tired enough right now, that I'm having trouble figuring out what to eat for lunch. I've had some saltines, four almonds, and two slices of cheese.

I made two phone calls yesterday but also added more calls to my to do list. I think that one of them is going to be manageable today because I'm probably going to get voicemail. Maybe I can manage calling Medequip, too, but I'm not going to get upset with myself if I don't.

Cordelia enjoyed Greenfield Village but was annoyed by the gift shop because nothing had any sort of price tag. The only way to find out what things cost was to take them up to the register and ask, so the line was very, very long the entire time her class was shopping.
the_rck: (Default)
I managed to get my laptop mostly charged last night, so I'm going to post while I can.

My recipient for the Fandom5K pinch hit never commented or gave any indication of having read the story. Now that the authors' names have been released, it looks like they must have defaulted because there isn't a Fandom5K work listed on their works page. I had been wondering because it looks as if they normally comment on gift fics. Of course, I had also wondered if I'd somehow stepped on an unstated DNW. I still don't know either way. The story hasn't been particularly popular anyway.

Cordelia is not going to the play that we expected her to go to. Her friend canceled. My suspicion is that her parents waited too long to get tickets and that the show sold out. I'm not sure what we're going to do with Cordelia this afternoon. I don't want to leave her alone for hours and hours (it's an hour to the funeral home, so that plus however long we stay plus getting home and probably plus us stopping somewhere for food or something). I'm going to see if she's willing to invite the friend she would have gone to the play with to come and visit.

I slept most of yesterday. Well, for certain values of slept. I'm not sure what else to call it. I woke relatively frequently and, each time, found I'd lost track of a significant chunk of an hour. I didn't really wake up until after dinner, and I'm not sure what did it then. I slept late this morning, too, and still kind of want to close my eyes and drowse. Maybe I should send Scott to Wendy's. A double with cheese usually wakes me up pretty thoroughly.

I'm eying another fic exchange but hesitating because the writing period overlaps entirely with NPT (and because I haven't managed to start my NPT story yet). I may just see if I can treat or offer a pinch hit. A story for the exact right prompt usually writes very fast.

I am way, way behind on answering comments. I may still get to some of them, but many are probably going to drop into the abyss of me having meant well. I apologize for that.

Cordelia's watching The Return of the King now. I'm not sure if she's actually enjoying it or if she's simply determined to finish. It's not the sort of thing she usually watches.

The mother who's trying to organize a party for the eighth grade class is frustrated because only fifteen families have responded. There are only forty kids in the class, so fifteen families is more than one third. That's actually pretty spectacular as such things go. I think she's hoping for more because some of what she wants to do is likely to be expensive. One of the places she's looking at is $100 an hour for a minimum of three hours. I favor the outdoor option-- Renting the shelter is $50 for the entire evening. But the outdoor option makes music more of a challenge (some shelters have electricity, and some don't), and she wants a photobooth. It's also likely to be hot by mid-June.

But $50 plus some for entertainment and food is doable for fifteen families. I don't think $300 plus is so much. I also think that food may be easier to deal with for the outdoor option. The indoor site has kitchen facilities, but it's not a huge space, and I don't think it would easily accommodate different families making their own food or a potluck buffet.

I like the idea of a party. These kids have been together for three years, and they're going to scatter to many different high schools. I don't think more than ten of them are going to any one school. I'm not even sure as many as ten are going to any one school.

Scott replaced one of our bedroom outlets yesterday. It had gotten dangerous, and it was one that we knew clearly how to cut power to. (What's on each circuit breaker is kind of random and really hasn't been thoroughly mapped.) I'd like to replace other old outlets in the bedroom, but those are harder to access than this one.

We had a power surge when the electricity came back on Friday that fried all of Scott's electrical lawn care equipment that was charging in the garage. He's not sure whether those are repairable or not or how much repairing them would cost relative to replacement. He specifically mentioned the leaf blower and the trimmer. I don't recall him saying anything about the mower.

I have no idea why the leaf blower would have been charging in May. We're not likely to want it until September or October.

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