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We ended up eating out last night. I'm not convinced it was a great idea, but we realized relatively late in the day that we had nothing thawed. There's a whole chicken in the freezer in the basement, but thawing that is going to take a few days. We went to Evergreen again because Scott really wanted to (Cordelia and I have both eaten there twice in the last four weeks) and because we happened to be out that way to visit a bakery that Cordelia was interested in. We all ended up with enough leftovers for a second meal, so there's that.

I used the c-PAP for three and a half hours last night. I'm not entirely sure why I didn't put it back on after I got up to visit the bathroom, but I didn't. My dreams were semi-anxiety dreams with lots of circling back to redo things.

I woke with a headache this morning. Caffeine and food seems to have killed it (it wasn't quite bad enough for me to take an Amerge. I only have two left. I might be able to get more during the next week, but I might have to wait until I see my doctor on the 28th).

I think I'm going to be spending a lot of time in the bedroom this weekend. Scott's watching The Defenders, and I don't want to listen to it because that's not much better than having to watch all the violence.

Our cleaning lady moved around all of the stuff I'd put aside to get rid of. I'm sure she thought that putting all of the clothing together made sense, but some of that stuff is wearable, and some isn't. The stuff that isn't has to go to a completely different place. The stuff that is wearable can go to the same place as the non-clothing stuff, and that's how I had it all sorted.

Today's goal is to finish filling out the various forms that we need to take to high school registration on Monday. A number of them are things that I need to consult with Scott and Cordelia about because they involve spending money on things that Cordelia may or may not actually have any interest in or on things that I know we want (like the yearbook and school pictures) but that we need to decide which version to get.
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I'm up early after not nearly enough sleep because I got smacked with a migraine overnight. Amerge and caffeine seem to be beating it back, but going back to bed won't work for a while yet. I haven't slept since about half an hour before Scott's alarm went off.

I didn't take Ativan last night. I don't know if using the c-PAP without it contributed to the migraine or not.

I did a little writing last night, but I feel like I'm groping in fog to find the characters. I'm firmly in one POV, and that character can only guess at who the other character is which isn't helpful because it means I haven't defined him clearly in my own head. I'm also flip-flopping on what the POV character is willing to do to achieve her goals, and I feel like the story is already too long.

I don't think I'm going to finish the treat I started for Captive Audience by the exchange deadline. I expect the recipient would still want it if I finish it later on. It's a tiny fandom, so not many people were likely to read it anyway.

I'm looking at my holds list at the library and trying to figure out how I ended up with four movies and a season of anime all to pick up on Sunday. There's a waitlist on the anime series and on one of the movies, so I guess I give those top priority. At least the anime is only twelve episodes.
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Yesterday continued as one of the worst headache days in recent memory. The sinus part more or less went away (but my sinuses itched), but anxiety/stress made my shoulders, neck, and the back of my head hurt terribly, and the main headache moved above my eyes to become a classic (for me) migraine. I was even light sensitive.

I took Amerge. I tried to nap. I tried stretches and relaxation. I tried writing a to do list for the rest of the month and giving it to Scott to see if he could help me make it smaller. He dealt with talking to the sports medicine surgeon and with the groceries (except that he forgot something that I really will need for tomorrow). It turns out that he has access to email Cordelia's patient portal (I don't ) and could just send a message through that instead of calling.

I slept badly last night and ended up getting up at about 7 a.m. (after going to bed at about 2 a.m.) because I had horrible reflux of the sort I only get when I'm really, really falling apart due to anxiety. Omeprozale and oatmeal did enough to let me lie down again, and I dreamed a bit, so I must have slept at least a little.

I'm not sure anything much is going to help until I'm through today and tomorrow. I need to do all of that stuff without Ativan because my prescription says one a day and I'm using that one to let me sleep with the c-PAP on. My doctor says taking more than one a day is fine, but I can't refill the damned thing before thirty days have passed, so doubling up means skipping some other day.

Scott has decreed that I'm not going to the Eagle Scout ceremony for our nephew. It's better for me that way, but I feel guilty because I missed his graduation party, too.

Hm. For tomorrow, they want the fasting blood draw to be in the window between 10 and 12 hours of fasting. They open at 8:00 a.m., and I can't eat after 8:00 p.m. if I want to be able to sleep before 3:00 a.m. I have no idea how to manage this. Given when Cordelia leaves and the buses in general, I can't get there before 9:00. If Scott's able to stay up long enough to get me to UHS, it will still likely be 8:15 or 8:30 when we arrive because of traffic. The window used to be between 12 and 16 hours fasting.

I might be able to get the blood draw done somewhere else. Most of the clinics affiliated with the university open at 7:00 a.m., but I'd have to get there without Scott's help because of Cordelia needing one of us at home up until 7:50. I'm not willing to take the bus at that time of day because that bus is a major, major commuter shuttle between the park and ride lots and the hospital and central campus.
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I really loathe dealing with Aetna member services. A call that should have been a five minute, yes or no thing took more than half an hour and left me without an answer. The person I talked to seems to have completely misunderstood what I was asking.

So I get to ask Cordelia's pediatrician to give us a referral for the blood tests the out of plan specialist ordered today. It's nothing very complicated. We're just trying to rule out underlying causes for ongoing fatigue before we write it off as a medication side effect. (Even though it probably is because it started when she started the medication several months ago.) None of the tests are things that ought to be controversial, just thyroid checks, vitamin levels (D, B12, and Ca2+), a comprehensive metabolic panel, and a CBCPD.

I was hoping that we could go to Taubman tomorrow for the blood draw because my parents could drop us off there on their way to Kellogg after lunch. Going on Friday will mean a bus trip. Going next week... Well, Cordelia won't be home until 4:15, so our options will be very limited. I think East Ann Arbor (not on the buses) does blood draws that late, but getting there would be nasty given construction and the time of day. Taubman's likely open until 5:00, but it's also awful to get to at that time of day. And I don't want to take Cordelia for a blood draw when she's dehydrated after more than 8 hours outside.

I don't think I'm going to manage the other urgent call today. I've got 40 minutes until that office closes, and I'm utterly fried. My head's hurting, and I want a hug and someone telling me that I did a good job to just get the Aetna call out of the way.
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I managed to finish the [community profile] pod_together fic last night about 11:00. I haven't posted it yet because it lacks a title. I'm also still hoping to hear back from my partner in the undertaking, but we're not in compatible time zones, so it's difficult.

I also need a tag that I can use for when a character talks to an externalized manifestation of their own psyche in order to hash out a problem. There must be one, right? Any suggestions?

I woke with a migraine this morning. I think it's a multi-factor thing. I slept less last night than I wanted to because Scott took forever (two hours!) getting ready for bed after I was ready to sleep. Then, when he came to bed, he kept doing stuff with his laptop until I asked him why he was still up and still keeping me up. I had some coughing, so I didn't dare use the c-PAP. I was stressed about the story and about the family gathering this afternoon (BIL's birthday), and a number of other things. There's also some indication that my body may be preparing for a period (though I'm skeptical because been spotting off and on since late June. If I didn't already have a gynecology appointment on the 9th, I'd probably have called already to see about setting one up).

The lack of sleep and stress are making me ache. I'm wearing thumb splints today because I can't do what I need to otherwise. I have to wrap the present for our BIL some time in the next half hour (Scott's trying to repair the dryer). We only have Christmas wrapping paper.

What I really want to do is to lie down and nap. There just isn't time.
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Kind of lost track of today as far as posting here. I had a dental appointment this morning. The buses were already detouring a bit for Art Fair preparation even though it doesn't start for a couple of days, but the bus I caught did stop where I needed it to, so that was okay.

They were about twenty minutes late starting my appointment, and then they had technical difficulties while trying to develop my x-rays. I got out of the office an hour and a half after my appointment started.

Then I went the opposite direction from the one I should have because there was an Ingress portal down there that I'd never hacked. It was a bit farther away than I remembered (some friends lived there during college). Then there was one just a block farther on, and I could get to a couple more on my way back by going one block over. I over walked by quite a bit.

I went to Totoro for lunch, getting there about an hour after I left the dentist. I had a teriyaki beef bento and got Cordelia something called a 'yummy roll' which she loves. Then I headed toward the transit center to get the bus home. I should have tried to get an inbound bus instead of walking. I ended up getting to the end of the block where the transit center is as the buses were pulling out, so I had to wait half an hour for the next bus. I should have gone to the library (a block away) or the transit center building. Both would have been cooler. I was just so tired that I couldn't face unnecessary walking.

I got home about 3:30, and Scott called just after I pulled out my key to open the door. I told him I'd call him back in a couple of minutes because there was no way I could unlock the door while talking on the phone and juggling three bags.

Today was a lesson in how having a big water bottle doesn't help if I don't take it out to drink from it. Of course, I had a lot of water while I was having lunch and then a lot more after I got home. I was very glad we had some gatorade because that's what staved off the headache that was trying to get itself going.
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I had hoped to go to bed early last night because I thought it might help me actually recover from the headache and because I was draggingly exhausted and nodding off. Sadly for me, Cordelia ended up having friends over. We'd said yes to that about a week ago, and then none of her friends responded to say whether or not they were coming. Then, last night, one girl showed up, and she and Cordelia talked a third girl into coming over. The guests didn't leave until 10:30 when I told Scott that he had to tell them it was time (I was having trouble staying upright at that point).

I still had the headache when Scott's alarm went off. I ended up getting up and taking an Amerge and some naproxen. Those and a couple of cold packs let me sleep another three hours. I woke with the headache gone.

I finished the Labyrinth story for [community profile] pod_together by about 7:00 last night. I'm reasonably pleased with it. I haven't started the other story yet, but I think I know where to start. I'm still tempted by the options I've decided not to go with. I asked for a week's extension on the second story but still want to get it done as soon as I can.

[personal profile] captiveaudience has a dozen people signed up, and nobody new has signed up since the 9th. I'm a little sad about that because this is a practically bulletproof story type for me, and I'd like to see more people writing it. I know it's a niche thing, though. I can write for about half of the other people signed up, so I'm matchable as a writer. I have no idea if I'm matchable as a recipient.

I nominated for Darkest Night but am still not sure if I'll sign up or just write treats (or pinch hits). I will probably wait to see if there are requests that I'd be very interested in writing before I decide. Two of my freeform tags haven't been approved yet even though it's been several days, so possibly the moderators have questions about them.

I have posted several WIP to AO3, things that I may never finish (and that I clearly indicated that fact about). Tagging them was hard because they're complicated AUs. I'm still not sure I used the right tags.

Our nephew's graduation party is tomorrow. Does anybody know-- Are casual clothes okay for a high school graduation party? I'm kind of assuming they are, but I'd hate to find out differently on arriving. The party's at his family's house and will, I think, be at least partly out of doors. Scott has done nothing whatsoever about a gift. I prodded him about a couple of times because I thought it might make sense to go in on something like a mini fridge or microwave with his brother.

We also have to figure out a birthday present for Scott's sister's husband as his birthday is in about two weeks.

Cordelia has set a goal to visit all the branches of the library. I'm pretty sure that it's partly because of her wanting the summer game codes from those branches and partly to get out of the house with an actual defined goal/destination. I think she's got two branches left now, and she just left for one of them. She'll hang out there for a while if it's comfortable and maybe buy herself some vending machine coffee or something.

I'm tempted to lie down again for a nap. There's no strong reason why I shouldn't, but part of me feels like I shouldn't. I think I'm too tired to write or to read, so why on earth should I stay awake?
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This headache won't quit. At this point, the sinus component is gone, and I'm about 80% sure that everything remaining is related to upcoming deadlines for which I don't have my projects completed. I've been working on one of those all morning and might have an end in sight. Maybe.

The other, I haven't started, but I can ask for an extension of a week, so it's quite possible to get it done. I'm mainly delaying asking in case, for some horrible reason, I need an extension on the first project, too.

I've taken Tylenol, Mucinex, Amerge, and Ativan toward killing the headache. I've also had enough water to make my back teeth float and some caffeine and some fat and protein. A cold pack helped a lot, but the meds, apart from the Ativan, didn't help much. I really think that what I need is to finish the first [community profile] pod_together story.
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The mail app that came on my phone and that I gave up on in 2015 in favor of the Gmail app decided yesterday that it was going to try again to send a bunch of messages that it failed to send in 2015, mostly photographs (and some of those photographs of my radiation burns being sent to doctors). Naturally they went out (although I *think* the attachments didn't. I hope). I'm boggled by this since the program has done nothing for almost two years. I thought the program was completely non-functional but apparently not.

I have now disabled it by deleting its access to my Gmail address and password.

But why would it decide at 10:11 a.m. yesterday that it should activate itself? I wasn't doing anything with the phone right then.

The power came back last night while Scott and I were at his PT appointment. I tested, sometime in the middle of the appointment, by calling to see if the answering machine picked up. No power means no answering machine, so when it started playing the message, I knew we had power.

We ended up going to Bob Evans for dinner, and all had 'broasted' chicken. I probably shouldn't have because I ended up with a little trouble with reflux a couple of hours later from the chicken skin and the oil in whatever they put on the chicken skin.

When we got home, Cordelia and I went in and started emptying all the meat out of the fridge. There was rather a lot of it because Scott had bought some stuff on sale the last time he went shopping. I also threw out some things that should have been pitched weeks ago. I kept Scott's lunch meat because the stuff is made so that it won't make you sick if you leave it in your desk for several hours between getting to work and actually eating it. A little time in a fridge that was slowly warming isn't likely to have gotten through those preservatives.

The resulting bag of trash was heavy enough that Cordelia refused to try to carry it to the bin. I considered splitting the contents, but that would have involved touching some nasty stuff, so I lugged the bag out there myself. I had a bit of trouble getting it high enough to get it into the bin, but I managed.

Scott, meanwhile, was buying some replacement groceries to get us through until we can do the weekly shopping on Sunday. (Normally, it would be Saturday, but we will be out from about 10:30 in the morning until who knows when in the evening due to our nephew's graduation party.)

I slept really badly and ended up giving up on the c-PAP after a couple of hours. I woke with a headache that I still have after food, caffeine, and Tylenol. It feels sinus-ish (which probably explains the c-PAP giving me so much trouble last night. If my sinuses were already cranky, blowing air through them that way wouldn't improve matters at all). I spent a lot of time trying to find a comfortable position, and other things kept happening to wake me.

I'm a little frustrated with Scott over bedtime. He keeps bitching about how he never manages to get to sleep any earlier, no matter what he does, but, you know, he doesn't ever change anything about his routine. I'll tell him at 10 that he really has to make his lunch and get ready for bed. He doesn't move from the couch. At 10:30, I tell him again and get all my bedtime preparation done. Once I'm in the bedroom, I write or read until he comes in. At that point, I'm in the middle of something but would stop if he asked. Instead, he watches TV show episodes or YouTube videos until I decide to turn out the light. Then he complains about how very late it is and how he should have gone to be at 10.

I don't think it should be on me to be entirely responsible for when the light goes out, given that I don't have to be up in the morning. I tend to keep working because he's not shutting things down. That makes me figure that he's in the middle of something and doesn't want to stop. I won't be able to sleep until he shuts down his laptop, so I might as well get something done.

I've told him that he can tell me when he wants/needs the light off, and when he closes his laptop and puts it away, I generally have the light off less than five minutes later (and most of that delay is me taking a trip to the bathroom). I may work for a bit longer on my phone if there's something urgent or if there's some reason I can't sleep, but I can keep the light from getting to him.

Today is Cordelia's first shift volunteering at the library. She'll be downtown. I think the job is sorting prizes requested by people playing the library's summer game. Cordelia has ordered some stuff herself. She's supposed to be there an hour from now, so I expect she'll leave soon.
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I think the pinch hit is mostly done. I need a title for it, and I'm waiting on a beta reader, but I've put what I have in a draft document on AO3 in case I need to post it from my phone. I'm not sure how easily I'd be able to edit it there, but I think I can change the title to something better than 'Title yet to come' and post. I have one more treat that I'd like to finish and post for the Friday deadline, but I figure I can gift that after the deadline as well as before as the recipient already has a story from the exchange.

I ended up staying home yesterday while Scott and Cordelia went to the family gathering. By noon yesterday, I had a migraine, complete with light sensitivity and nausea. Even with me trying everything that sometimes helps, I was still feeling sick for hours after Scott and Cordelia left. Fortunately, I was able to write anyway.

I tried cold brewing some black tea (Stash's white mocha chocolate) over night. After twenty hours, give or take, it has definite flavor but is still mild enough that I don't absolutely need sweetener. The main benefit for me, though, is that it's cold enough to help me out when I'm overheating. A pitcher of water might do as much, I suppose, but this is nice as an alternative because it has flavor. I'm not sure if I'll go with it most mornings. I'm used to a hot beverage at this point. Some mornings, though... Hot tea may wake me up, but it leaves me sweating sometimes.

I can't find the form I need to fill out for Social Security regarding Cordelia's payments for the last year. I've looked everywhere I might have put it with no luck yet. I found the documents that I put with it because I needed them in order to fill out the form (the bank statement is still in a sealed envelope, so I think it unlikely that I filled out and mailed the form and then forgot). I am finding a lot of papers that can be shredded and/or recycled and a lot of papers that should have been filed. I need to make a file for my various genetic screening reports and biopsy results, etc.

Later:
Right at the moment, the laptop is on and at about 82% power, so I'll have a little time for things like posting this and responding to email on my pseudonymous accounts.

I found the Social Security paperwork. I should have thought of it earlier-- I'd stuck it in a library book that I was carting around right then because I knew I wouldn't throw it out accidentally that way. I'm not sure why I didn't think to look there sooner.

On the bright side, I swept under my part of our bed and recycled enough paper to make the bin too heavy for me to lift. (Sadly, I am now reasonably sure that the missing library CD isn't under the bed. I was really hoping it was even though I'd looked more than once.) I also found an unopened Christmas card with cash in it. The cleaning lady must have put it there and then stacked stuff on top of it. I found an uncashed check, too, and will have to ask the person it's from if it's still okay to cash it. Oh, and find out if the bank will still accept it.
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We did end up going to Target last night. We got a lot of snacks and a couple of DVDs, one for us and one for Cordelia's best friend. The latter was only $4 and is a movie the girl loves, so there was no way we weren't getting it. Scott went to Home Depot for some things while Cordelia and I did the Target part of things.

On the way back from Target, we stopped at Plum Market because we'd forgotten that we needed to buy salad fixings for the family gathering today. I was desperate for something really cold to drink, but apparently I didn't get that across to either Scott or Cordelia because they didn't understand that I wasn't buying that cold drink for when we got home. I had a very, very cold bottle of tea, and it made me feel incredibly much better. I hadn't been thirsty, particularly; I just desperately wanted something really cold.

For some reason, things from our refrigerator are never quite that cold.

Scott and I went for a walk around 1 in the afternoon yesterday when it was still around 70F outside, and I misjudged things badly enough that I hurt to walk for the rest of the day. Scott was letting me set the pace and decide where to go, so it's on me rather than on him. On the way home, we ran into the mother of a kid who was in elementary school with Cordelia but who went to the big middle school instead of staying with the new program (as I recall, his parents were specifically not interested because the program was new/experimental. They thought that the regular middle school was likely to be more predictable).

At any rate, we talked for quite a while about what's become of other kids from that fifth grade class and what the two different middle schools were like and what we expect from Skyline and all of that.

I picked up a pinch hit last night. I'd put off claiming it because I wasn't sure I wanted to commit. It's just that I had a partially finished story that fit one of the prompts. I waited at least ten hours after I first saw the pinch hit, and nobody else offered, so I did. The main problem I've got with the story right now is placeholder names. There's nothing out and out wrong with the names I've got, but I keep looking at names and realizing that I've known people with those names or have watched/read things with characters with those names or... Well, it's hard to find normal names that I don't have associations with, and I don't want those associations sneaking in.

At any rate, I wrote 2356 words yesterday.

I managed to sleep for four hours with the c-PAP last night and then another four without it. I woke with a headache which I still have. I suspect/fear that it's menstrual because nothing I've tried yet has made a dent. Normally, food and black tea will completely get rid of a morning headache, just not in this case. I've taken Tylenol, too.

Scott's family wants to spend the afternoon at the beach. I have put my foot down that I'm not doing that. If nothing else, I'd die of the heat. We're supposed to meet them at the beach, but Scott doesn't know what beach (there are about four lakes within reasonable distance of his parents' place), so I haven't been able to figure out if there are coffee shops or something near where they'll be. He has suggested that I either sit in the car with it running so I can have AC or have him drive me to his parents' place and drop me off there. The latter is more acceptable (and likely less expensive), but I'm willing to sit and read anywhere with AC.
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Cordelia spent last night with her best friend, a sleepover. They went to a movie at Top of the Park (outdoor showing), so they were out quite late. I think they saw Hidden Figures. The girls are eager to go to more of these movies. The main difficulty is getting them home afterward. I don't think the buses run that late, and Scott can't stay up for that. I doubt the other girl's parents can either.

My psychiatrist says I should use Ativan every night for a while in the hope that that will get me used to the c-PAP. We discussed Lunesta as an option as well, but I wasn't keen on it because new medications that sedate me can send my anxiety through the roof. Lunesta might not since it's supposed to make a person fall asleep really, really fast, but... I thought trying Ativan first was wiser.

She also wants me to practice taking the gear off and putting it back on in as close to night time darkness as I can manage in the hope that that will help the anxiety caused by feeling less able to respond to an emergency. (What sort of emergency, I can't imagine. The anxiety portions of my brain are simply adamant that I must be prepared for emergencies at all times. All possible emergencies rather than anything specific.) There's a reason that, when I startle awake, including with an alarm, I wake pretty completely and can function immediately, no matter how tired I am. That ability to function fades as the day goes on.

I took an Ativan last night and used the c-PAP until Scott's alarm at 5 a.m. I slept without it after that until about 8:30 when Cordelia texted me with a question. That's two hours longer than I'd have slept on a school night. I'm still tired, but I'm able to function. Maybe this will work.

I'm starting to get a headache now, so I'm going to lie down for a while.
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I have my music files back. It took a lot of time to get them to my laptop and still longer to figure out how to get iTunes to see them. I still don't have my playlists, and I'm kind of exhausted at the prospect of trying to rebuild them.

I've written about 900 words in the last twenty four hours. I started writing about 10:30 last night (when I needed to be in bed at 11:00). I'm not sure why the words tend to start flowing then. I've written more this morning, but I kind of desperately need more sleep, so I don't know how much more I'll write before I do that. All of the words are on the Not Prime Time story, so that's now over the minimum word count.

I had a headache all night, not bad enough to get up and do something about it but bad enough to be aware of it when I moved. My morning tea and breakfast seem to have either killed it or pushed it below the threshold of awareness.

Scott has purchased some motion sensitive night lights. He put one up just outside our bedroom because he's worried that we'll get hurt when we get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I hate the damned thing already. He's got it right at my eye level which would also be Cordelia's eye level. That means that, when it comes on, it's a bright flash right in my eyes. I'm sure that problem never occurred to Scott because he's a foot taller than we are. The time I'm in the bathroom is just long enough for it to turn itself off, so it's another startling, painful flash of brightness when I head back to the bedroom.

We've lived here for more than twenty years, and I've never had problems going from bed to the bathroom in the dark, so I feel like Scott's bought a technological solution to a non-existent problem.

Scott and Cordelia both liked Wonder Woman, generally speaking. They didn't have any specifics that they didn't like, but they also didn't have specifics that they out and out loved.

This week is going to be sporadically busy. Tomorrow afternoon, I have a mammogram and an appointment with radiation oncology. My SIL is coming with me. Last year was so horribly stressful that I thought I'd better have company. I don't expect any problems, but... Wednesday evening is our biweekly game night. Thursday, Cordelia's eighth grade graduation is in the morning. My parents are coming for that. In the evening, there's a picnic for all of the eighth grade families. I think there's enough space in there for me not to end up brain fried. I hope so anyway.
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Our nephew has graduated. There were more than four hundred kids in his class, so it took a long time for them all to cross the stage. As we were driving away after, I asked if anyone had seen a single student who wasn't white. Cordelia said she saw one and that she was glad she wasn't the only one who noticed.

The EMU Convocation Center was not a pleasant place. The seats were painfully small, and so were the rows. I could barely stand by the end. The pain levels were high. Also, everything was so very steep that I was surprised that nobody died. The backs of the seats for each row were about even with the floor of the row behind. I'm not normally afraid of heights, but I was scared to death that I would fall because I was not feeling particularly steady to begin with. Scott's parents had saved us seats in the middle of the row, so we had to squeeze past people to get there. The stairs (I have no idea if there was any seating accessible without stairs) had railings in some spots but also had gaps in the railing of two to three feet at a time which combined very badly with the steepness on the way down after the ceremony.

I was so exhausted that I almost didn't make it to our car. There wasn't any option for me to sit somewhere and wait for Scott to bring the car by, though. I ended up leaning pretty heavily on Scott, and he kept trying to find somewhere for me to wait. There just wasn't anywhere.

I took Ativan a couple of hours before the ceremony. I shudder to think how I'd have felt without it. I fiddled with my cell phone and leaned on Scott and Cordelia in turn in order to deal with the anxiety. I did a bit of holding onto Scott as tightly as I could, too.

My gastroenterology appointment was relatively quick, once the doctor was free to see me. She was a little more than half an hour behind, but all we needed to do was to check in that nothing major had changed and that the medications were still working. Then I made an appointment for June of 2018, and that was that. Scott was able to pick me up which was a relief. I wasn't entirely sure I'd make it up the hill if I took the bus home.

I spent a large chunk of today in bed. I had a migraine that took forever to go away, even with medication, and I've been sneezing a lot with both a runny nose and sinus pressure. I'm not having dinner tonight because we have nothing in the house that won't make me sick (well, nothing that could be prepared in the time we had), one way or the other. I'm not pleased about this. It's now past when I can safely eat anything beyond air popped popcorn (which we don't have) or vanilla ice cream (which I can't have when my allergies are this active).
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I woke with a headache this morning. It actually started before Scott's alarm. Food and caffeine helped a little. The next step is medication and, if I can manage it, a nap.

Scott worked late last night. He said that money will cover the new power supply for my laptop. Cordelia had her last training for volunteering at the science center camps. Apparently the adults doing the training pretended to be campers so that the trainees could practice. Cordelia said, "I guess they couldn't afford real children."

Mostly, I spent a lot of time yesterday watching Murder She Wrote episodes so that I could return that DVD set to the library. I also cat waxed more than a little. I intended to try to nap, but every time I felt like maybe I could, I looked at the clock and realized that I actually couldn't. Hopefully, today, I'll manage to lie down by 9:00 or 9:30.

I have a load of laundry in the dryer right now, and it's trash day. Apart from that, I don't have anything that absolutely has to be dealt with. Maybe I'll empty the wastebaskets before I nap. That will only take about five minutes as there are four wastebaskets, none of them heavy or hard to get to.

With a little luck, I'll manage to write later today. I'm still searching for a first sentence for my NPT story. Maybe I should pick a POV character first?
the_rck: (Default)
I’m feeling really really terrible right now. I don’t know if it’s some sort of post-stress thing or if the fact that I won’t have results from yesterday’s test until Monday at the earliest is smacking me hard. I woke with a headache that started heading very definitely migraine-ward with nausea and a desire for complete silence.

I took a cab to PT, and that meant that I really didn’t have much pain until I was walking back out of the hospital. I guess that from the entrance of the hospital back to the PT office is the distance I can walk without setting things off. The therapist taped things again, but that only held until evening before friction between my leg and the couch rolled the tape beyond remedy.

Scott’s sister picked me up about twenty minutes after my appointment, and we went to the Syrian place for lunch. They didn’t have the cauliflower salad that I love. The woman behind the counter said that it’s because cauliflower is too expensive just now, about $5 a head. She said she tries to buy local, from the Farmer’s Market. She said that a head of cauliflower makes about 1/2 pound of salad, so that she’d have to charge about $20 a pound.

I drank forty ounces of water between when Scott’s sister dropped me back at the hospital and when they called me back for my scan. I met [personal profile] evalerie upstairs about twenty minutes before the appointment, and we headed downstairs into the maze of corridors. The signage was adequate, so we didn't quite get lost, but my heel was hurting a lot by the time we made it to the right clinic.

I didn't feel like my bladder was full when they called me back, but apparently it was full enough because the technician said everything was good. The entire procedure took an hour because there were three different scans. The second and third would only work if my bladder was empty which, well, forty ounces of water. The third bit was a two person job with a physician doing part of it. That was painful, not beyond bearing but unpleasant.

They didn't tell me anything about what the scans showed, just said they'd send the results to my doctor and that they should be there by my appointment on Wednesday. I'm not happy about this because the doctor saw the scans. Technicians aren't allowed to say anything at all about what they see even if they know what they're seeing, but doctors are. I really don't want to wait until Wednesday.

In the evening, I got a message from the patient portal that test results were in. I was pretty cranky when I discovered that it was the completely unsurprising negative result on the mandatory pregnancy test they had me pee in a cup for before the third scan.

The appointment running so long meant that [personal profile] evalerie would be cutting things uncomfortably close if she tried to take me home before going to pick up her youngest. I ended up waiting about half an hour for Scott instead. That wasn't a big deal except that my phone was nearly out of charge. I was really angry when I realized that the dratted thing was downloading app updates when it had a 20% charge. It wouldn't let me stop the updates, either. By the time Scott arrived, I was at 10% and the phone was complaining about everything I did with it (just texts to Scott to tell him where I was, texts from Scott to let me know when he'd arrive, and an occasional check of the time). I had turned off the wifi connection to prevent it from starting any other downloads or from using charge maintaining the connection.

Scott wanted to go to the local March for Science, but what with things that have to be done and me feeling really, really terrible, there was no way to make it work. The Ann Arbor march started almost an hour ago. There's a march in Ypsilanti at 3:00, but I kind of suspect he won't make it to that, either.
the_rck: (Default)
Scott picked up sushi from Totoro for me and Cordelia last night. Apparently, they have three or four types of California rolls. The regular and the spicy both have cucumber which makes me sick. I need the 'special California roll' which is just avocado and crab salad. I had one of those and a vegetable roll containing cooked zucchini, asparagus, and sweet potato. I think there was tempura on the zucchini.

My back is definitely still messed up, but I can sit on the couch for a while now, and getting up and sitting down is no longer horrifically painful. It was at the point before, where my body would just stop and refuse to go further.

I didn’t finish either the graphic novel due yesterday (I’m going to pay the fine. It seemed silly to ask Scott to make a trip out just to avoid a twenty five cent fine) or the DVD due today. For the graphic novel, it’s a combination of not being able to comfortably read it without my reading glasses on and it being a superhero comic. I bounce off almost all superhero comics. I think what I really want is for someone else to read this one and give me a detailed synopsis.

I wrote 2200 words yesterday. It was all on chapter nine of We Are Where We Began, so I’m a little annoyed with myself about that because I really, really need to work on my Fandom5K story. That has a due date, and I’m past the no penalty default date. I’ve got a blobby shape of a story in my head and really need to write to find the actual shape of the thing.

I spent most of yesterday in bed even though I wasn’t hurting as badly as I had been. I discovered that lying on my right side makes my back worse but that lying on my left side is relatively neutral in that regard. Sadly, lying on my left side hurts my neck more, but a low grade headache is better than the back pain.

Today, we’ve got errands to run. I need to be along for one of them, the one that will take the most time, so I think I’m stuck with all of them. Cordelia and her friends want a copy of From Up on Poppy Hill for Friday, but all of the library’s copies are checked out. One is due tomorrow, so it might come back in time. I wonder if I can persuade Cordelia to take the bus downtown to pick it up on her own? It’s spring break, so she has plenty of time.
the_rck: (Default)
I started packing for my sleep clinic overnight tonight. Then the clinic called to ask if I could reschedule to Monday night and to a different location. I could, but it was sheer chance that it was possible. That is, if Scott weren’t on vacation all next week, it wouldn’t work at all. I’m hoping that the delay will give my back time to recover.

Expo was kind of tiring. I expected that, but I’d hoped there’d be ways of making it less so. Getting up and down the stairs was the hardest part. I wasn’t actually able to hear what Cordelia and the other two kids in her group were saying because there was a large table in the way of me getting closer and people in all the gaps where I might have gone around it.

The group had the battery they’d designed right next to their display about the Japanese internment during WWII. The bits of the presentation I heard didn’t go into the kind of depth that I’d expected. (I think my expectations were skewed by my having done a huge research paper on the topic during high school.) The kids didn’t address the fact that some of the internees weren’t US citizens and that that was because they weren’t allowed to naturalize. They didn’t talk about the internees losing all of their property or about several other things. I’m not sure if that’s because they had limited time or because they didn’t find that information.

On May 10th, the eighth graders will be visiting the high schools they expect to attend for about three hours of tours and what to expect talks. I can tell that I’m still cranky. I was irritated by the fact that the message about specifically mentions buses provided for the return trip but doesn’t say how the kids will get to the high schools. I’m also not happy that the plan is to have the kids eat lunch before they leave the school at 10:50 when their normal lunch period starts at 12:25. Cordelia’s usually very hungry by the time she gets home at 3:15, so I don’t much like adding an hour and a half to the time between opportunities to eat.

Scott had his annual check up today. He also has osteoarthritis in his hand. Right now, it’s only giving him trouble when he bumps it, but we’re not counting on that lasting.

I’m having persistent headache problems from spending so much time in bed. I thinks it’s part anxiety and part positional. It gets better when I sit or stand, but that makes my back worse.

iCal is still giving me problems. It crashes when I edit events. It eats events. Right now, it’s refusing to display any events at all and won’t let me click on anything or otherwise add events. I’ve quit and restarted the program twice. Restarting my entire laptop is the next option. Beyond that, I’ve lost a ton of information, some of it hard to replace.

ETA: Restarting worked. I'm just frustrated to have to do it so often.
the_rck: (Default)
I have been exhausted and headachy all day. I lay down from about 9:30 until about 11:30, but I didn’t manage to sleep. Right now, I’m drinking a cherry coke and sitting in bed with the lights very dim and a shoulder throw electric blanket (borrowed from Cordelia) on the back of my neck and across my shoulders. The prolonged, very focused heat is helping a lot. I think that I might actually be able to sleep now, but I would like to manage to stay awake and get things done.

Scott is currently out, taking Cordelia and her best friend off for their weekly gathering of friends. The movie of the week is Ponyo.

I think Scott’s disappointed that I wasn’t awake and doing things with him all day while Cordelia was at school and probably won’t be this evening while she’s out. We almost never get time alone in the house. Of course, from my point of view, Friday is the absolute worst day for anything requiring being able to think or being able to deal with noise or bright lights or… yeah.

I’m kind of terrified that this may be a long term thing and get worse next year due to Cordelia needing to get up before Scott leaves for work. Getting up with Cordelia wouldn’t be such a big deal if it was even occasionally feasible to nap later in the day or to go to bed at 8:00 or 9:00.
the_rck: (Default)
Tuesday evening, I added about 600 words to my Small Fandom Big Bang story while editing. I may end up adding more because there’s at least one bit left that I need to expand.

I had reflux issues last night when I went to bed. I’m pretty sure that they were largely anxiety related. Sadly, I didn’t twig to that until after I had taken antacids, so I had to wait to take an Ativan. Once I did, I was able to sleep, but I lost two or three hours, so I’m pretty wiped out. It also means I woke with a headache that took hours to get rid of. That took both Amerge and metapropronol (sp?).

At this point, I’m on the verge of falling asleep, and I’m not sure I can stay up long enough to get dinner. It’s only 5:30.

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