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I slept better last night than I did the night before, and the sneezing and such seem to be gone. I will likely keep taking the various allergy medications for a few days in case what I'm seeing is them working rather than the trigger being gone. I'm still pretty tired, so I will likely try to nap later on. Cordelia and I don't have anything planned today, so I think it will be feasible.

I'm debating Camp NaNo. The main thing against it is that it doesn't tend to motivate me to write more or more often. The social aspect only works for me if I know the people I'm interacting with. Then again, signing up costs me nothing (except a lot of emails from the website).

I realized yesterday that the first two pages of a side project I was working on didn't belong in the story at all. They were necessary world building/scene setting for me but would probably bore readers. I can work in a lot of the details that matter later in the story and in small chunks.

Does anyone know anything about the folks running [personal profile] captiveaudience? The maintainers on the AO3 collection are [archiveofourown.org profile] nonx and [archiveofourown.org profile] CaramelShadows. The former looks like a sock, and I don't recognize the latter. The exchange theme, captivity with either Stockholm Syndrome or Lima Syndrome, sounds like something I'd have fun with, but I suspect it's not likely to be a large exchange. At the moment, it looks more appealing than Fic Corner simply because there's nothing in the Fic Corner tagset that I'd be really enthusiastic about writing. There are a number of things I could write and/or request, but I don't know if I'd enjoy writing any of them.

I suspect that part of the problem is that the things I'd be comfortable offering to write are all kind of old and not necessarily the sorts of things that people think of first when signing up for exchanges. There are often specific requests that are things I'd be comfortable writing, but without the specifics, I don't dare offer because there's a lot of those canons that I don't feel I know well enough or have time/access to review properly. The things I can generally offer always have way more offers than requests.
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I think I'm having allergy problems right now. I started sneezing mid-afternoon yesterday, and by evening, my nose was running, and my left eye was watering constantly. No idea at all why my right eye is clear, but I'm glad of that much. I got about three hours of sleep last night because, any time I moved, I'd start sneezing and/or desperately need to blow my nose. (I'm not sure Scott got much sleep either.) Basically, shifting around makes me feel an itching burn in my sinuses that's really unpleasant. I've gone through an entire box of tissues so far.

I may have to take my box of tissues and a bag to throw the used ones into and vacate the house this afternoon because I'm pretty sure that the stuff the cleaning lady uses will make things much, much worse. But I can't imagine what I'd do with myself for five hours, especially if it's raining.

I'm trying to think of anything that changed in the house yesterday, and I'm coming up completely empty. I also didn't eat or drink anything different or use different toiletries.

My anniversary present for Scott has arrived. I got him some bluetooth earbuds. His old ones died, and he needs them for listening to podcasts and audiobooks while doing things like mowing the lawn.

Cordelia has her volunteer training for working at the library this afternoon. I need to prod her a bit to make sure she actually eats something before she goes. She'll also have to leave earlier than she wants to be because of the bus detour (the training is at the Traverwood branch).

Scott will be going to bed early tonight because he'll need to get up around midnight to go to Top of the Park and get Cordelia. She has asked the friends she's going with if any of them can give her a ride home but hasn't gotten any answers yet. I offered to spring for a cab, but Cordelia balked at the expense. I don't know, though, $11 for Scott not to have to get up in the middle of the night? Sounds like a bargain to me.

I managed nearly 700 words on my NPT story yesterday. I still don't know exactly where it's going, though, and I'm a bit over 3000 words. This does not bode well. Then again, endings often come up unexpectedly and smack me in the face, so maybe I'll find the end soon.
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Cordelia spent last night with her best friend, a sleepover. They went to a movie at Top of the Park (outdoor showing), so they were out quite late. I think they saw Hidden Figures. The girls are eager to go to more of these movies. The main difficulty is getting them home afterward. I don't think the buses run that late, and Scott can't stay up for that. I doubt the other girl's parents can either.

My psychiatrist says I should use Ativan every night for a while in the hope that that will get me used to the c-PAP. We discussed Lunesta as an option as well, but I wasn't keen on it because new medications that sedate me can send my anxiety through the roof. Lunesta might not since it's supposed to make a person fall asleep really, really fast, but... I thought trying Ativan first was wiser.

She also wants me to practice taking the gear off and putting it back on in as close to night time darkness as I can manage in the hope that that will help the anxiety caused by feeling less able to respond to an emergency. (What sort of emergency, I can't imagine. The anxiety portions of my brain are simply adamant that I must be prepared for emergencies at all times. All possible emergencies rather than anything specific.) There's a reason that, when I startle awake, including with an alarm, I wake pretty completely and can function immediately, no matter how tired I am. That ability to function fades as the day goes on.

I took an Ativan last night and used the c-PAP until Scott's alarm at 5 a.m. I slept without it after that until about 8:30 when Cordelia texted me with a question. That's two hours longer than I'd have slept on a school night. I'm still tired, but I'm able to function. Maybe this will work.

I'm starting to get a headache now, so I'm going to lie down for a while.
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I slept terribly last night. My body wouldn't relax enough for sleeping for the first few hours. I'm pretty sure that it was mostly stress over needing to go out today for an appointment. I should have taken an Ativan, but getting up to do it seemed like way too much effort.

Cordelia dragged me out of bed in a panic at midnight because she'd looked at the bus website and discovered that the bus she'd planned to take to the Traverwood library today and Thursday is detoured and won't go there. There's a chunk of the route that's completely closed, so they have a bus (the A shuttle) covering the part of the route from our place to the closed area and then a bus (the B shuttle) covering from the closed area to the other end of the route. The first bus, on its way back toward downtown, takes a longish detour out to Kroger in order to let people transfer to the bus for the other half of the route. That other half seems to go to the library, but it looks like it would take a good bit longer than the normal route.

Right now, the plan is for Cordelia to catch either the A shuttle just as it starts its detour to Kroger or the bus that normally runs up and down that road and to get off at the street that leads to the library. She'll have to cross a busy road, but there's a light there, and I don't think the walk is all that far. It is possibly farther than I could comfortably walk right now, but I can't walk all that far.

I'm glad to know about the detour because that's the bus I would normally take to get to Kroger, and I'd have absolutely panicked if I got to the point where the road is closed and didn't know what was going on. I don't like the other bus option for getting there, even though the trip is shorter, because it requires crossing five lanes of traffic and because I'm not quite sure where the stop is along there.

Cordelia went downtown to the library yesterday because she had some holds that came in late on Sunday, after we'd already been down there. She was really pleased by how easy it was to get there and is trying to get me to suggest destinations that she might enjoy.

I'm hoping that my psychiatrist (who I'll see today) will have some ideas for making the c-PAP work. All of the alternatives available to me sound pretty terrible. I think it's possible that she'll tell me to take Ativan every night for a week or two to see if I get to the point where my brain accepts that the c-PAP doesn't actually reduce my chances of surviving an emergency. I'm pretty sure that that's my basic problem, and it's not amenable to me wearing the gear while awake to get used to it because it's not the gear that's the problem-- It's my sense that, when asleep, I'm hugely vulnerable and can't afford anything that makes me less able to react. This is a problem that I've had with medications that make me mentally fuzzy.

Today's to do list )
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I think the end is in sight on weeding the email. I think I'll finish some time tomorrow. I hope so, anyway. We haven't tried to retrieve my music files yet, so I don't know how that will go.

There's a book sale at Cordelia's school today. I'm not sure if she remembered to take the money she intended to. I offered to go in during the hour and a half that the sale will be open after school, but she was against that idea.

Friday will be busy. Our nephew's graduation ceremony is that evening, and I have an doctor's appointment quite late in the day. I made that appointment a year ago, and changing it would mean not getting in for many, many months. I just hope that the appointment gets done at a reasonable time. It's at 3:30, and by noon, that clinic is generally an hour behind. I don't expect the appointment to take long once I actually see someone.

I napped this morning for about an hour. It would have been longer, but Scott called while I was deeply asleep to tell me that he was on his way home so that he could go to the doctor. He's got a pinched nerve, we think (pain, numbness, tingling, all at varying levels), and they told him Friday that, if it wasn't getting better, he needed to come in as soon as could be arranged. Yesterday, it got very bad in the afternoon/evening, and he figured out today that it wasn't that it was getting better so much as that the ibuprofen he had taken in the morning helped a lot.

I was both glad and sorry to be awoken. I was having anxiety dreams involving at least half a dozen different things that usually only occur one at a time in my dreams, but I was actually asleep and very desperately needed the sleep. Ah, well. Maybe I can nap tomorrow morning.
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I did a little writing last night, less than 300 words. I was just too tired to focus.

When I tried to call a cab for getting to my appointment yesterday, I discovered that the company's phone was out of service. I used it nine days ago for getting to UHS, so it's a very recent development. I was at a point in time when I really couldn't afford to call around to see if any of the other companies I found listed on Google actually still exist (at least one listing was for a company that I know absolutely doesn't), so I ran for the bus.

I got lucky in that the bus was only about half full. I'd expected it to be packed at that time of day (around 8:30 in the morning) because that bus links commuter lots to the university medical center/hospital and to central campus. Possibly the fact that the students are gone made the difference, but I'm used to every bus before 9:30 being standing room only and not letting anyone on for the last three stops before the hospital. (We're four or five stops back, a couple of miles away.)

The clinician I saw agreed that, if I feel worse and am not sleeping using the c-PAP, that it's not actually helping. She prescribed a different mask, just in case that will help. The main reason, if I understand correctly, is that this mask and headgear shift where the hose is so that it may not cause me so much anxiety. Otherwise, we're going to hold off until after I see my psychiatrist on the 20th. The hope is that she can prescribe something, other than Ativan, that I can take at night so that I sleep more deeply. I have no idea what that might be. Benadryl doesn't make me sleepy. Melatonin gives me headaches that last for days. Ambien is off the table entirely because of my genetics being a terrible match for it.

After the appointment was over, I wandered around the medical center a bit, doing Ingress. Then I took the bus downtown, doing more Ingress along the way. About ten minutes after I got off the bus, I reached level 10 in Ingress. I had been hoping to do that on my birthday, but I was so sick that day and the next that it wasn't even remotely an option.

After that, [personal profile] evalerie and I met at Jerusalem Garden for lunch. I got a chicken shwarma sandwich that proved spicier than I wanted to be. I also got fries which the menu said would have sumac on them, but the waitress told me, when she brought them, that they don't put sumac on any more, just a pre-mixed salt and pepper (including cayenne) blend. I wouldn't have ordered them at all if it hadn't been for the promise of sumac, so I was disappointed.

Cordelia ended up eating my leftovers, half the sandwich and a lot of fries, when she got home. She complained about the spice in the sandwich but ate it anyway.
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I have phone calls I need to make today, and I don't want to deal with them. I also desperately want a nap and know that, even if I lie down, I'm unlikely to sleep.

At least, my mother called me back (I left her a message last night). She and my step-father can't come to Cordelia's concert after all but do plan to come to 8th grade graduation. I had thought that 9 a.m. would be too early given the two hour drive, but Mom says that that's much easier than trying to drive home at night. Also, they have contractors working on urgent house repairs, and the contractors will only work if someone's at home.

One of my phone calls, I need to make around 3 p.m. as I'm calling a high school teacher, the choir director, to talk about choir camp this summer. The other call, I can make any time, but it's also not urgent urgent, so it's hard to make myself do it. That second call is to schedule a tune up for our air conditioner. I really hate to spend the money on it, but getting it done will keep the dratted thing running for longer.

We had a session of Scott's new Firefly game last night. I think I'm going to loathe the system because my preference is for rules that require no decisions on my part and that I don't have to think about or use very much. That's my preference when I'm GM, too. No matter what I'm running, I run rules lite. People who've done a lot of table top gaming tend to boggle when I say that GURPS is my preferred system but that I run rules lite. GURPS is the most flexible system I've seen for character creation/setting creation/genre bending. I'm just not prone to deal with the picky rules in play. I've got a general feel for what different dice rolls mean relative to the numbers on the character sheet, but I'm guided more by interesting story than by the dice. I don't ignore the dice altogether, but I can go a session without asking anybody to roll anything.

I think that what I want is a weird hybrid of GURPS, Amber Diceless, and some form of percentile system.

I have an appointment at the sleep disorders clinic tomorrow. They called me yesterday in response to my patient portal email. I'm not sure what they're going to be able to offer me. The main thing the woman I talked to thought was that I need anti-anxiety medication. Yeah, I do. I've only been trying to find something that works, long term, since 1987. The only things I've found that work are controlled substances, and I'm not willing to take those every night even if some doctor was fool enough to prescribe them that way.

I'm so frustrated by this health crap. I can get plenty of lectures about potential long term problems but no discussion that everything they tell me to do about those is killing me right at the current moment. When I'm drowning, I'm not going to worry about the risk of sepsis from splinters from the bits of wood currently keeping me afloat.

I'm kind of irritated with the lecture series I'm currently watching. The title of the series is 'The Other Side of History: Daily Life in the Ancient World.' Apparently, the only places that existed in the ancient world were Egypt, Rome, Greece, Britain, and certain other small bits of Europe. Eleven episodes out of forty eight focus on Greece. Six focus on Egypt, and one of those is on Hellenistic Egypt. Thirteen episodes focus on Rome and territories under Roman control. The date on the box is 2012.

Cordelia's friend with the concussion was back at school yesterday. She's still having some headache issues and is taking things very easy. I don't know if she'll be at the concert tonight or not. Her father is becoming a US citizen today (her mother did a few years ago, and both kids were born in the US), and that, naturally, is a higher priority for her limited energy than the concert.
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It's very frustrating that Scott set aside a day for me because of my birthday and all I can do is lie down with a hot water bottle pressed to my belly. And that's after taking naproxen to deal with the cramps. I know my body needs this, but my last period was in October. Couldn't this have happened last week? Or next week?

I finally stopped sneezing and such around 11 this morning. The key when this happens is for me to dehydrate myself which kind of freaks out people who are trying to take care of me. Most of the time, drinking more water is good when I'm sick, but this particular thing won't stop until I dry out enough.

I slept badly last night. Part of that was the runny nose (I didn't even try to use the c-PAP), part of that was the cramps, and part of it was different parts of my body wanting different temperatures. My upper body was cold, but I had to keep moving my feet out from under the blankets and shifting around to find cool spots on the bed for them. Sadly, no cool spot ever last more than about four seconds.

I took a cab to my appointment yesterday and then took the bus home afterward. I probably should have either taken a cab home or waited for Scott to pick me up. I almost missed my stop due to just completely spacing out with exhaustion. I did a little bit of walking around and playing Ingress after my appointment. I'd probably have done a little more, but Cordelia's after school meeting got canceled, and she was worried about where I was.
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I was hoping to go into town a couple of hours before my appointment today and get lunch and walk around a bit, playing Ingress, but I don't think that's going to happen. I've been sneezing violently off and on. It's raining. Oh, and I have cramps. (On one level, a period would be a good thing, but I really don't want one, not ever again. Also, it would be very difficult for the timing to be worse.)

Cordelia's best friend is home with a concussion. A laptop fell on her head at school yesterday. My assumption is that she was getting one out of the lower rack on the cart while someone else pulled out and dropped one from the upper rack. I wouldn't expect that to be a fall of more than a couple of inches, though, so maybe not. It's just that she's a very tall girl. I can't think how else a laptop would be in a position to fall on her. Even if she was seated, no one would be likely to carry a laptop high enough to drop it on her. And Cordelia said 'fell on her' rather than that someone dropped it on her.

At any rate, Cordelia wants to do something for her friend but rejected every suggestion we made. I'm going to email the girl's mother to ask if there's anything she'd enjoy. If the mother suggests something, I think Cordelia will feel more comfortable with it than she does if we, her parents, suggest things.

Oh, I know! Every time Cordelia visits her friend wants her to bring a particular DVD. A copy of that would probably be a great gift.

Scott's mother called in the middle of my planned nap time yesterday morning. She was taking a walk while Scott's father was at rehab (for heart trouble) and wanted to chat with someone during it. She's very disappointed that my c-PAP isn't making me feel better. Hers apparently did, right away. I explained that, while I wear it, I sleep like Cordelia was six months old and sick and sleeping in the next room. As of tomorrow, it'll be three weeks since I got the dratted thing.

Scott's of the opinion that three weeks is long enough that I should have adjusted and that, since I haven't, I need to talk to someone at the sleep disorders clinic. I'm not sure what they'd have to offer. I don't think it's the specific gear so much as any gear at all. I sleep better when I take Ativan, but I really can't do that every night.

I wrote 1500 words last night but still haven't managed to start my NPT story. I realized after talking to a friend that I was focusing on the wrong character. That other character still needs to be featured prominently, but there's another character who, when I talk about my ideas, is more pivotal. Since that other character was also requested, shifting focus makes sense.
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No headache today, but I didn't get rid of yesterday's until nearly bedtime even though I tried to nap. I think that drinking extra water helped more than the attempt to nap. Pity I can't drink lots of water and then try napping. Sadly, it doesn't tend to work so well.

I'm probably going to try to nap again today. I feel like I might be able to, and my legs are aching in a way that tells me my body needs sleep.

I wrote 300+ words yesterday. It's not much, but it's more than I've managed most days this month.

I'm trying to come up with ideas for things to do while Scott's off work on Friday (and of things that need to be done then). It'll be my birthday, so I want some of it to be fun. Cordelia is currently planning to be out that evening. I think she's clear that we're not going to host movie night on my birthday. She may still ask, though, if none of the other girls can host. I just don't want to spend the evening stuck in our bedroom so that the girls can pretend we're not home. Spending those hours outside the house sounds like a kind of hell.
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I'm glad we went to the viewing. We hadn't seen Mary and her husband (also named Scott) for quite a long time. Mary shared a house with Scott and his brother during college, and her husband moved into that house when my Scott moved out.

We spent most of our time talking to a third college friend, Jim, who also lived in that house and who is Mary's cousin. Jim's kind of responsible for me and Scott meeting in the first place. We mostly talked games. He's been playing that Pandemic version that can only be played once but that takes a couple dozen longish sessions to get through. He says it's a lot of fun and very difficult to master. He compared the monetary investment to buying a videogame that one only expects to play once or twice. He also commented that he's pretty sure that the reason his tabletop RPG group is stable is that none of them have kids. Which makes sense.

We picked up dinner at Plum Market on our way home. Scott got a salad and some mac 'n' cheese. We got some sushi for Cordelia and seem to have chosen well enough for her to eat it all. I got an assortment from the hot buffet. Most of it was just barely okay. There's one dish that I took a small amount of that turned out to be really, really good, but I was worried that it might have hidden dangers for me or even just have flavor I didn't like. If I'd been able to sample it first, I'd probably have taken just that and the steamed vegetables.

Scott is expecting to have to work late tonight, so he stopped at the center and cancelled Cordelia's PT appointment for this evening. The last time she was in, the therapist said that she might be ready to be discharged, so the hope is that we won't need to make up the appointment. I did mention that it was feasible for me to get her there and home again, but Scott wasn't keen on that.

I see my primary care doctor on Thursday. I need to make a list of things to talk to her about. I suspect that my difficulties sleeping will end up high on the list. Those are at least 50% scheduling (family obligations, medications, meals and reflux, Scott and Cordelia needing to be able to do things that are mildly noisy but enough to keep me awake) issues, but there's a good chunk that relates to the c-PAP and even more that relates to anxiety and to other physical issues.

Talking about sleep and schedules for my own benefit )

I just looked at the list of WIP that I used to follow on FFnet and discovered that I haven't checked on any of them in almost five years. I didn't realize it had been that long since I was reading fic regularly enough to keep going with that. I didn't have a FFnet account at that point, so I just kept an offline list with the url of the most recent chapter and the date of the last update. After two or three years of no updates, I'd gradually stop checking (unless the story was just that good...).
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I managed to get my laptop mostly charged last night, so I'm going to post while I can.

My recipient for the Fandom5K pinch hit never commented or gave any indication of having read the story. Now that the authors' names have been released, it looks like they must have defaulted because there isn't a Fandom5K work listed on their works page. I had been wondering because it looks as if they normally comment on gift fics. Of course, I had also wondered if I'd somehow stepped on an unstated DNW. I still don't know either way. The story hasn't been particularly popular anyway.

Cordelia is not going to the play that we expected her to go to. Her friend canceled. My suspicion is that her parents waited too long to get tickets and that the show sold out. I'm not sure what we're going to do with Cordelia this afternoon. I don't want to leave her alone for hours and hours (it's an hour to the funeral home, so that plus however long we stay plus getting home and probably plus us stopping somewhere for food or something). I'm going to see if she's willing to invite the friend she would have gone to the play with to come and visit.

I slept most of yesterday. Well, for certain values of slept. I'm not sure what else to call it. I woke relatively frequently and, each time, found I'd lost track of a significant chunk of an hour. I didn't really wake up until after dinner, and I'm not sure what did it then. I slept late this morning, too, and still kind of want to close my eyes and drowse. Maybe I should send Scott to Wendy's. A double with cheese usually wakes me up pretty thoroughly.

I'm eying another fic exchange but hesitating because the writing period overlaps entirely with NPT (and because I haven't managed to start my NPT story yet). I may just see if I can treat or offer a pinch hit. A story for the exact right prompt usually writes very fast.

I am way, way behind on answering comments. I may still get to some of them, but many are probably going to drop into the abyss of me having meant well. I apologize for that.

Cordelia's watching The Return of the King now. I'm not sure if she's actually enjoying it or if she's simply determined to finish. It's not the sort of thing she usually watches.

The mother who's trying to organize a party for the eighth grade class is frustrated because only fifteen families have responded. There are only forty kids in the class, so fifteen families is more than one third. That's actually pretty spectacular as such things go. I think she's hoping for more because some of what she wants to do is likely to be expensive. One of the places she's looking at is $100 an hour for a minimum of three hours. I favor the outdoor option-- Renting the shelter is $50 for the entire evening. But the outdoor option makes music more of a challenge (some shelters have electricity, and some don't), and she wants a photobooth. It's also likely to be hot by mid-June.

But $50 plus some for entertainment and food is doable for fifteen families. I don't think $300 plus is so much. I also think that food may be easier to deal with for the outdoor option. The indoor site has kitchen facilities, but it's not a huge space, and I don't think it would easily accommodate different families making their own food or a potluck buffet.

I like the idea of a party. These kids have been together for three years, and they're going to scatter to many different high schools. I don't think more than ten of them are going to any one school. I'm not even sure as many as ten are going to any one school.

Scott replaced one of our bedroom outlets yesterday. It had gotten dangerous, and it was one that we knew clearly how to cut power to. (What's on each circuit breaker is kind of random and really hasn't been thoroughly mapped.) I'd like to replace other old outlets in the bedroom, but those are harder to access than this one.

We had a power surge when the electricity came back on Friday that fried all of Scott's electrical lawn care equipment that was charging in the garage. He's not sure whether those are repairable or not or how much repairing them would cost relative to replacement. He specifically mentioned the leaf blower and the trimmer. I don't recall him saying anything about the mower.

I have no idea why the leaf blower would have been charging in May. We're not likely to want it until September or October.
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I slept really badly last night. I spent a lot of time half-awake and thinking that the head gear for my c-PAP was on wrong without being able to figure out how. Looking at it now, with light, I can't see any explanation for my problems. I suppose it's possible that the whole thing was one of those semi-dreams, similar to me getting the inexplicable idea that I must lie on my right side (or my left or my back) or dire things will happen. When I wake completely, I always end up trying to figure out if there's any basis in reality for what I remember thinking because I'm never quite sure if there's something real there that I'm just forgetting.

I'm only up right now because Cordelia wanted me to sit with her before school. Having been up for two hours, I need to wind myself down a bit, so I'm listening to a podcast while I write this. I might write up our grocery list.

Cordelia's about two hours into The Two Towers. She's finding the battle scenes kind of tedious, but she seems determined to get through all three movies. She considers Groot better/cuter than the Ents.

A college friend of Scott's lost her mother a few days ago. Scott and I don't really have a way to get to the funeral which will be Monday morning, but we can go to the viewing which is Sunday afternoon/evening. It's an hour drive away. The current plan is to go to that while Cordelia's at a play. She's going to that with her best friend, and I'm going to ask her friend's mother if they can keep Cordelia until we get back.

I have a library book due Sunday that I can't renew. I'm halfway through it and very much want to finish. I've just stopped at a point where I don't want to deal with what I think will happen next. Once I've gotten some sleep, I think I may try skipping ahead a few pages to see if I'm right and whether or not I can deal with it. I've also got a can't be renewed book due a week from Sunday. I've also got four hours of library DVDs to watch. I can renew that set, but I'd like to return it.
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Cordelia decided that she was close enough to done with her big project (all that's left is eight more illustrations) that we could celebrate last night after all, so we went to dinner at Saica. She tried something new. Actual raw fish sushi, a tray with a variety of different things. I got a bento and brought most of it home; that fed me and Cordelia for breakfast this morning.

Cordelia liked her presents. We mostly got her books. I watched her wishlist for months and jumped on books when good used copies came up. There were two Funko Pop figures, too. General Leia and Finn, if I recall correctly. She says that Baby Groot is still her favorite. She also thought that General Leia looks weird because of not having a mouth.

I'm still not sleeping well with the c-PAP. I'm waking more often. It used to be that I could sleep about six hours without needing the bathroom, but now it's a maximum of about three hours. At that point, I wake fully and won't get back to sleep unless I empty my bladder. I think that, on school nights, I'm getting about five hours of sleep. No wonder my legs ache and I'm starting to get headaches a lot.

Generally, by the time I'm ready to nap, it's lunch time, and then there's not enough time after lunch to actually sleep before Cordelia gets home. She doesn't like me napping when she's home and will come in to check on me every twenty minutes.

The lab test results from my ER trip were released to me today. I have no idea what most of the things tested for are, but I think there's at least one thing I want to ask my primary care doctor about when I see her next week. The chest x-ray showed a 'slightly elevated left hemidiaphragm,' and that's not something that's ever been mentioned on any previous chest x-ray. Dr Google gives scary information about that that I really think doesn't apply here because they wouldn't have let me leave the ER as casually as they did if they thought I had, say, an abdominal tumor.

I've turned on the air conditioner now. I need to schedule a tune up for the system. It was 85F in here when I checked the thermostat last night, and we try to keep it a bit cooler than that, especially since I'm still having problems with feeling overheated in spite of having stopped the Tamoxifen.
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The library finally checked in that CD that Scott returned on Friday. That's a relief. I was starting to wonder if our house was eating library CDs.

I tried to nap yesterday morning. I was in bed for several hours, but I don't think I actually slept until the last forty five minutes or so (and then I dreamed vividly). I tried the c-PAP through the first hour and a half, and again, it was saying that I was stopping breathing for more than ten seconds at a time over and over because the average per hour went up from 4.5 to 6.5. I'm supposed to try to stay under an average of 4.0 per hour.

Last night, I slept pretty soundly once I fell asleep, but I woke at 4:00 and didn't really sleep again after that. I've got two appointments at the hospital today, one at 10:30 and one at 2:00, so I'm not going to have the option of napping. I'm currently trying to decide whether or not we've got anything I can pack that will help me stay awake or if I should just hope that the cafeteria has something useful. I know there are a lot of options there, but I think they don't offer anything I can drink except water because they don't sell anything sweetened with sugar.

I wrote 860 words of something else that has nothing at all to do with any of the exchanges I'm doing or with any of my existing WIP. I mostly wrote it because it wouldn't leave me alone while I was trying to nap. I also added 400 words to one of my House of Sulfur and Mercury WIP. My word count for the year so far is a bit over 70000, so I'm definitely going to hit my word count goal for the year by the end of this month.

Cordelia has a cold and is very peeved about the fact. I'm almost certain to catch it from her, and Scott's pretty sure to catch it from me. I'm not looking forward to it. I was really hoping to avoid colds until after I'm used to the c-PAP.
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I checked the shelves at the library yesterday and didn't find the CD that's been missing for months or the one that just disappeared. My best guess that both of them have fallen somewhere, either here or at the library, where nobody looks. I've searched everywhere I can think of here at home with no luck, and the likely places at the library aren't in areas where I can look. The new missing CD, naturally, continues the streak of me only misplacing CDs that I didn't enjoy listening to. It also can't be renewed, so I guess I'll be paying for it next weekend.

Mom arrived yesterday pretty much on time at 10 a.m. We talked for a little while then got in our car and drove to Bob Evans. When we got home, Scott worked on assembling the new grill he bought (the grates on the old one rusted through, and replacing them proved more expensive than buying a new, less fancy grill) while Mom and I talked, and Cordelia and her friend went to their volunteer orientation at the science center.

Mom mentioned having seen and loved Firefly and Serenity. That felt weird to me because she's usually down on SF stuff because of it reminding her of my father. She also talked about my step-father having a very traumatic encounter with an alligator while he was out kayaking. He went out alone for reasons that my mother wasn't clear on. She thought that part was unwise. Then he went to an area where he hadn't been before, with deeper water, and started seeing very, very large alligators. There was one on the shore that spotted him, rolled into the water, swam over, and then reared up on its tail to look down at him. He was sure he was going to die. Mom says he didn't stop obsessing about it for days.

I asked if it was likely a nesting mother, and Mom said that the time of year is right and that the circumstances rather sound like it.

I told Mom about the Sgt Pepper's/Star Wars (A New Hope only) mashup videos that I ran into earlier this week, and she wants the link. Scott adored the videos even though he only recognized two or three of the songs. The whole thing is here on YouTube. It's the entire album, so it's longish. People who know the album tend to be more impressed, but people who don't can enjoy them, too. They're captioned, too, which is rare for such things.

I made banana bread while we were hanging out. It's been years since I made it routinely, but I still remember the recipe without needing to open Joy of Cooking. The amounts of everything, including the final batter, looked too small until I realized that I used to make two loaves at a time and wasn't this time. The banana bread made a good snack for when the girls got back from orientation.

Cordelia tells me that she and her friend weren't the only middle school kids at the orientation. She'd been worried about that. I think that the fact that the camp accepts thirteen year old volunteers and almost no other volunteer opportunities do probably skews their pool younger. Cordelia's planning out her summer schedule with shifts at the library and at Food Gatherers. I'd probably have scheduled the camp first because that's two chunks of a week each. I wouldn't want to make scheduling those harder by committing to days here and there through the summer. She's already trying to figure out if it's feasible to do camp the week of her dentist appointment. She'd get done at 4:00. The appointment is at 4:15. If her father is home to drive, it's doable. If he's not, it's really, really not.

I wrote almost 600 words yesterday on chapter 7 of Auguries of Innocence. It needs some tweaking because I ignored one of the characters present, but it's progress. That chapter has been sitting for quite a long time. I still want to go back to my Fandom5K, but I'm also still not sure my level of exhaustion is conducive to being sensible about editing that. The currently posted version works reasonably well, I think. It could be better, but if I'm not physically/mentally up to it, the results won't be horrible or embarrassing.

Last night's experience with the c-PAP was better. At least, it didn't hurt. The hose was still a serious PITA, and I think that a four is too high for the humidity setting at this time of year, but I actually slept. I'm just low on sleep because Scott didn't let me go back to sleep after he got up. I may nap after Cordelia leaves for school because only five hours of sleep is just begging for a migraine by bedtime.

None of us have appointments today. Cordelia has PT tomorrow. I have two appointments on Wednesday and one on Friday. I'm hoping that this will be less stressful than the last three weeks were and that we don't add more appointments on for next week. At any rate, I have all day today and a good chunk of tomorrow to myself. Thursday is cleaning lady day, so even though there aren't any appointments, I can't really relax.

My chest pain is getting better. I made it worse yesterday by carrying a basket of laundry from our room to the top of the basement stairs (I made Scott do the up and down the stairs part) and by doing a lot of bending over to get things off the floor that I didn't want to be there when Mom arrived.

My hands have been hurting more. I think part of the problem is that I'm picking up and moving more moderately heavy things (dishes, empty or full, and hardcover books are a problem that way) and trying to hold open paperbacks to read them. The OT people said I should just switch to audiobooks. I pointed out that we own more than 5000 books. I didn't go into the other issues with audiobooks-- price, time investment, inability to 'read' them while other people are watching TV in the same room (or, often, while there are other people in the house at all). The next suggestion was a book stand. I've looked at those online, and they look pretty iffy. I don't think that buying one without a chance to try it out would be a good idea because the ones most likely to work for me are pretty darned expensive. Also, for in bed, I'd want one thing and for in the living room quite another.
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I'm still frustrated with the c-PAP. It didn't burn last night, but it did hurt enough to keep me awake for hours. If I sit upright, the weight of the hose pulls things down enough that there isn't painful pressure on my nose and upper lip, but when I lie down, things get bad in both places. I think I can help the upper lip by wedging something between my lip and the apparatus. I have no idea what to do about the nose. Tugging very lightly on things relieves the painful pressure without breaking the seal, but it's not something I can do while I'm trying to fall asleep, and I'm kind of at a loss as to how to jury rig something that would do the job.

I have turned down the humidity from five to four and may take it down to a three. I feel pretty constantly like my nose is filling up at a five. A four is better but still not where I want to be.

I need to look at the manuals because the c-PAP turned itself off entirely two or three times early in the night. I hadn't touched it, so I really can't think what might have happened. I was both relieved and cranky when I figured out that that was why it very suddenly got really, really hard to breathe through my nose. The machine is so quiet that I can't rely on hearing any sort of change.

My mother will arrive in a little bit. We're planning to go to brunch/lunch. Cordelia needs to be back here by 1:00 because one of her friends will arrive then so that they can go to an orientation session together. That's at 2:00 and only a ten minute walk away from here, but I think they're worried about being late. Mom might stay for dinner after Cordelia comes back from orientation, but it will depend on the weather. She's not comfortable driving after dark or in bad weather. It's sunny now and is supposed to stay that way, but...

Scott and Cordelia both really enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Scott said it might be his favorite MCU movie so far which is pretty high praise from him.

I did no writing or editing yesterday. I'm not sure I will today, either, because of my mother visiting and because I'm still exhausted and cranky due to poor sleep.

After I got up to take my thyroid medication this morning, I didn't put the c-PAP rig back on. I was hoping to get some normal-for-me sleep to balance out the terrible sleep I'd gotten earlier in the night. I don't think I managed much, but I did dream vividly about used book sales offering books I desperately want to read but that don't actually exist. This sort of dream is not particularly rare for me and goes back even to elementary school, but I always wake up wishing that I has those books.
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The c-PAP last night was not a success. I put the 'discomfort' levels on par with walking home from the bus stop on a broken foot and sprained ankle. My skin actually felt like it was burning where the nasal pillows touched. I'm going to clean them, assuming I can find anything safely unscented that's also mild enough, and try again tonight. The nasal pillows I used at the sleep clinic didn't burn, so I'm hoping this is something that can be cleaned off. The weight of the hose was also painful if I slept on my side facing the machine, and the headgear is, sadly, designed to put velcro on my cheeks. I think I can deal with that last by wrapping it. I'm not sure with what, but there must be something.

I kept the rig on for about two hours, possibly slightly more. The first hour, I couldn't possibly have slept even if things had been comfortable because Scott was playing videos on his laptop (while next to me in bed) and because lights were on in the living room.

I wanted to stay in bed longer than I ended up doing this morning, but my mother had said she might drive over today, so more sleep wasn't a good option. As it happens, she's not coming until tomorrow (or maybe not at all. The check engine light is on in her car, and she doesn't want to drive two hours each way without being sure that the car will make it).

The A-Ride folks say, in their canned message, that one is supposed to allow an hour and a half to get to one's destination. Half an hour for the pick up window and an hour for travel time. It's a shared ride service, so it's entirely possible to need to go far out of the way to pick up or drop off other passengers. I've done six rides in the last two or three weeks. Two of them ended up shared. Every one of them, the driver arrived either before my pick up time or right on the dot. Yesterday, I was at Medequip eleven minutes after my pick up and forty nine minutes before my appointment.

Fortunately, the guy I was supposed to see was free to see me early. I was done by the time my appointment would have started if they'd stuck to the schedule. They don't have an actually waiting area. They tell people to sit on the various recliners that they offer for sale. I eyed those and realized that only one of them was actually the right size for me to be able to put my feet on the floor while sitting. That's out of probably twenty different chairs. Being 5'2" isn't that weird.

I tried to do some editing yesterday and discovered that I was too cranky to deal with my beta reader's perfectly reasonable comments without shooting back sharp comments. So I sent an apology and closed the documents.

Scott went out and picked up the library holds last night. I had one that was set to expire today, and we weren't sure there'd be time to get down there today if my mother visited. We'll still need to stop by there tomorrow, but even if Mom does visit, Sunday will be less filled with things that Scott has to do. Getting holds yesterday means dealing with two DVDs that can't be renewed. I suggested we try to get through them both today so that we don't have to take them back mid-week.

PT is claiming I was a no show on Thursday even though I called. They aren't open today, so I can't call and complain about that. I did call. I did leave a message. My cell phone shows I was on the phone with their number for a minute and a half at 6:30 a.m. on Thursday. I wouldn't argue if they said I didn't give them twenty four hours notice, but I was not a no show.

The chest pain is less than it was. Breathing is almost never hurting now, and that was the most worrying bit.
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I'm feeling a good bit better today. I'm still being very cautious about what I eat. I was okay with tea and toast (with margarine, even!), but a little turkey lunch meat (nitrate and nitrite free) made me feel really terrible. I probably would have tried making rice if it hadn't been a Thursday or if I hadn't slept so late. Scott picked up some Cup o' Soup packets, some saltines, and some ginger ale for me. I would like to keep saltines around all the time for this sort of thing, but if we have them in the house, Scott devours them with margarine and then complains about the calories and how we shouldn't have such things in the house.

I've been sneezing and sniffling off and on. It'll be bad for five to ten minutes and then not there at all for half an hour and then come back again.

My sleep last night wasn't as good as I had hoped. I spent the last three or four hours convinced that I needed to get up to take medication every hour on the hour which was decidedly not true. I didn't need to take anything until a little after 5:00 when Scott's alarm went off.

Scott dug up a PDF of the Firefly character sheet. Unfortunately, it's not possible to save it after one fills it out; one can only print. I was going to put in what I've established so far and save for later editing when Scott was available, but I can't. I'm not sure it's useful to fill in what I have so far and print that when I'll have to retype it all later. I should see if Scott has a PDF of the game rules. If he does, I might be able to make the character on my own. The game book is too heavy for me.

I've written about 3000 words so far this month. I've spent most of my writing time editing rather than writing new text. I have a friend doing a beta read on my Fandom5K story. I haven't looked at her comments yet, but I get the impression that she might be looking for a different sort of story than the one I've written. That will make dealing with the comments harder because I'll have to weigh half a dozen different factors in deciding what to do in response to each or if I'm going to do anything at all.

We got a weird phone call yesterday that I'm quite sure was some sort of scam. Scott agrees, but we disagree about what it was trying to do. The caller ID said the call came from Comcast, an 800 number, and it was a recorded thing telling us that we have a service call scheduled today between 4:00 and 5:00. I'm pretty sure that they were trying to get me to talk to an 'operator' and give them personal information. Scott thinks it's a setup to try to get me to let some stranger in. I suppose the latter is possible, but I'm not convinced that it would work better than just showing up cold. Also, showing up personally is a much bigger risk and investment than phishing phone calls.

The idea of getting a call from an 800 is just-- That's not how it works.

If I wasn't fighting so hard to get through today, I'd probably call Comcast and report the call. Maybe they'd actually care that someone is spoofing their ID. Of course, it's Comcast...
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I slept really badly last night with reflux and gas and pain. I'm almost certain it was a post-stress thing because this is the response I'd expect from my body after the day I had yesterday. It hit hard enough, though, that I called to cancel my PT appointment. I really hope I did it correctly because it would suck big time to have to pay for the missed appointment.

I'm not even sure why I'm still up at this point. I meant to go back to sleep. At first, it was because I thought I might eat something, but everything I looked at in that direction provoked nausea.

I think that my miscalculation yesterday was to go ahead with our evening plans instead of crashing after Cordelia's appointment. I enjoyed seeing our guests, but I think I wasn't up to it. Also, one brought some mildly cheese flavored potato chips, and I likely shouldn't have had any given how things have been the last few weeks. I don't know how much those contributed to the reflux; given how things went, it's possible that they didn't have any effect on it at all. It's just that the rest of what I ate yesterday evening should have been safe.

Unless I was doomed to reflux no matter what I ate.

I have about 2/3 of my character for Scott's Firefly game. He keeps shoving paper character sheets at me and expecting me to fill them out. I finally explained very explicitly that no character sheet is important enough for me to write it by hand at this point. I'd been trying to figure out the best way to make my own version of the sheet online, but Scott tells me there actually is an online version. I'm kind of bewildered as to why he's been pushing the paper version at me for months.

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