(no subject)

[the_rck]

I have survived visitors and Christmas with Scott's family. Just barely.

A reminder to myself for next time-- Being able to do most of the cleaning in one day does *not* mean that I should. It also doesn't mean that I won't pay for doing it that way, pay heavily. This time, I had several hours and took lots of breaks while working. I still didn't get everything done. I also ended up with a fibro flare, a migraine (with heavy sinus component) and severe bad temper. (I wanted to snarl at people and make them all stay far, far away from me. Not a mood to be in with company over to stay.)

I had a conversation with my mother in the middle of last week that also contributed to my bad mood. I know I've mentioned before that she and my step-father have previously said that they won't give Christmas presents because they disapprove of the commercialism of the modern holiday. This year, however, they found another excuse-- My mother said, in a tone that invited me to thank her, that they'd discussed it and decided that they ought not give Delia anything because any gifts would just increase the clutter in our house.

I love my mother, but... For all that she's not as crazy and irresponsible and so on as my father, there are a lot of ways in which she's... How to put it? I'm not sure. I don't really understand her, and I'm not sure I want to.

Also, I think I preferred the old excuse. It was less insulting.

Comments

[retsuko.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you survived, but what a thing for your mother to say. I wish I had some magical answer that would explain her behavior or make it better, but I can't think of anything. :(

I thought of you lots during the holidays. *hugs*

[the_rck]

::hugs back:: Thanks for thinking of me.

I think I just have to learn not to deal with my mother so much.

[toxictattoo.livejournal.com]

Tis the season for grouchy moods. And you're right. That was...uncalled for from your mother. I could get you and Scott but not for the baby. Christmases are for little ones. They shouldn't get shorted like that. [is a big ol' softy]

[worried fret] Take care of yourself.

[the_rck]

I'm long past expecting gifts for us from them. In the seventeen years Scott and I have been together, they've never given him a gift or even a card for either birthday or Christmas. In that time, they've rarely given me anything either.

I'm a little afraid to talk to my sister because I'm afraid that the actual translation of the conversation is, "We bought something for our other grandchild, but we didn't get around to shopping for Delia." My sister's son is eleven months old and a darling. My sister and her family live nearer to my parents (The parents are in Louisiana. My sister is in Georgia. I'm in Michigan.) and see more of my parents. It wouldn't be my sister's fault or my nephew's fault. It would just be my parents being jerks.

[anderyn.livejournal.com]

Grrrrr.

That just sucks.

More later. R. wants the 'puter.

[the_rck]

Thanks for the support. I need a double check every so often to be sure that it's not automatically *me* being crazy.

[marith.livejournal.com]

Yuck. *hugs* Glad you survived the holiday, rough as it sounds. Not dealing with your mother more than required sounds like a fine thing.

[the_rck]

::hugs back:: I do love my mother and admire her on many counts. I just run into things that make me think she and I come from different planets. I suppose, in a way, we do.

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

WOW what a stunningly rude comment!!!! I am really sorry.

[the_rck]

Thanks.

Our house *is* cluttered, but it seems like a dreadful thing to punish Delia for.

[anderyn.livejournal.com]

Now that I can talk -- yeesh. I would NEVER do that to a grandchild. I send presents to the Texas ones for Christmas, and occasionally birthdays (I am bad about remembering, but I *try*). I think I'll probably just send cards when they're in England, because I'm not sure how money will translate. But I know I won't use any crappy excuses.

[the_rck]

You're a good Grandma. ::grins:: I'm sure cards will be fine. When they come back to the U.S. and aren't likely to have to pay major shipping (or abandon things), you can give toys.

I can deal with my mother not bothering to give me or Scott anything, but it does seem mean to Delia.

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

They're going to England? Cool!!

(I'm behind on everything, so if you've blogged about it, I haven't seen it yet.)