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In the last two days, I have written 1500 words on something that is neither my Yuletide assignment nor my UCon game. Why on earth am I letting myself do that? I need to write about 5000 words on the game, maybe more than that but certainly not less, and the fic I have in mind for Yuletide will by no means be small.

I just need to finish the game, so that I can start the Yuletide story.

The last time I was writing a game, I set myself a daily goal and just didn’t go to bed until I had managed it. I don’t think, under current circumstances, that that’s a viable option.

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The Muse, it goeth wherever it want to... I know that feeling.

::sighs:: Yeah.

Oh that mysterious muse! Balking at obligations to go on her own little adventure! The game writing sounds particularly challenging. If a daily goal won't work, could you at least try setting aside a certain time every day where you work on it no matter what? Even if you struggle at first maybe you'd get into a rhythm?

I wanted to write something cracky for this month's

puzzleprompts challenge but I guess since it's the complete opposite of the dark story I'm working on, the muse says hell no. I thought she might like a break from the heavy shit... guess not!

Setting aside a time every day might work some days. This week is weird because I've got two medical appointments. Those days are likely to be a total loss from the point of view of getting anything else done.

I feel like I need to find a writers' group that focuses on supporting people who are writing dark stuff. I'm in a few groups on LJ and DW, but most of the other folks in those groups aren't comfortable with discussions of the sort of stuff I write. They'll cheer me on for a word count or for finishing something, but I don't feel like I can talk about details of what I'm writing, even when I'm stuck.

Being thrown out of my daily routine messes me up too. Even if it would still be possible to do... my brain thinks "nah, today is weird, just be lazy and skip it."

Have you ever done NaNoWriMo? Not that that would help with the dark stuff. Just curious.

I don't mind talking about stuff. Mostly. The only squick I can think of is animal abuse. For some reason, abusing people (even kids) is tolerable, but not animals. Torture and non-con and graphic violence, I'm fine with. I'd probably be not that great with advice but you could at least bounce ideas off me if you think it might help :)

Edited 2016-10-23 20:38 (UTC)

Sorry to take so long getting back to you. I kept meaning to and then getting distracted.

I tried NaNo one year. I think it was around 1998 or 1999. I think I managed about twelve thousand words. I did Camp NaNo twice this year. I was successful the second time, but the first time ran into stress and exhaustion due to my daughter dislocating her knee. I'm almost considering it this year because I'd like the social support of it, but I think it would just stress me out.

I would definitely be interested in talking about what I'm currently writing. I've got another 2500 words of Luke POV that I'm hesitating over, more because it's odd than because it's dark. I'm not sure Merlin is in character. I've got it on Gdocs if that's something you do.

No worries!

Oh wow, I hadn't even heard of it back then! I made an account for some reason I can't recall, so I get their email updates, but I don't think I'll ever attempt it. I've done "mini nano" challenges on LJ before, though, those were fun. Sounds like you could use the socialness, if you could find a way to NOT stress?

I don't know much about gdocs except that I've read some -- is it something you could email to me? Not sure how helpful I'd be with characterization but I'd love to read it and maybe just bouncing ideas off me would help :) I'm lumykitty@gmail.com.

I think I shared my two working Gdocs for the series with you, but I was on my phone, and that was the first time I ever tried sharing that way, so I'm not sure if it sent you notices or not.

In the Luke section, the pronoun difficulties are because Luke is confused.

Yes I got the notices -- so how does this work, do you want me to make notes on there in red or something? It would feel weird changing anything you've written... I should have time later tonight to look at them :)

Notes would be great. In red or bold or something else that stands out. I know there's a way to insert comments along the right margin, but I don't know how to do it. I'm fine with comments inserted in the text or at the beginning or end or whatever.

Oh cool, I did the commenting thing -- just on something minor in the Luke POV. When you change the document you can click "resolve" and the comment in the margin goes away. (I tried to delete the first one I did but couldn't figure out how, so I clicked resolve and it moves into the comment button in the upper right corner)

Not sure what's bothering you about Luke's characterization. And of course I'm not the best judge of that anyway, not knowing the canon. Is he too smart in understanding Merlin's motives and what his actions mean and such? Or is that okay because he's been there for so long, or is really attuned to Merlin, etc.

Luke never went through anything like this in the books, right? Obviously his character will be affected in some ways by such traumatic experiences, so maybe he'll feel OOC to you but he's really just evolving?

The pronoun switching makes sense to me, even in the same paragraph like when Luke's remembering male Merlin in the past but then thinking about the present female Merlin. And since you convey Luke's confusion early on too I doubt a reader would get confused by it.

I read Garden Our Shadows too but that one's got a lot of stuff that's over my head :)

In canon, Merlin was imprisoned in the cave for about a month. Jasra sent a couple of not particularly competent minions to open the cave. There's no indication in the text as to what Jasra meant to do with Merlin, but she took no precautions at all, made no effort to do anything to make sure that Merlin wouldn't be able to fight.

So Merlin escapes, almost capturing Jasra in the process. Later on, Merlin helps Luke make peace with the rest of their family in Amber, and Luke helps Merlin deal with further plot developments as the series progresses.

There are indications later on that the author intended Jasra to be competent, ruthless, and intelligent. You definitely wouldn't get that from this particular incident.

In the Luke POV fragment, I'm not actually concerned that Luke is OOC. I'm more wondering about Merlin. She's initially demanding something that could be taken as OOC, and then she lets it go more easily than maybe she should. I'm not sure if all of that would occur to Luke or not or if there's a way I can make Merlin's thought processes less opaque while still staying in Luke's POV.

Garden Our Shadows is probably going to develop into Merlin starting to open up to people outside of his fortress again, and I can see how all of the references to various characters would be confusing. I'm willing to explain if you think it might help, but you can probably just skip reading that if you'd rather.

Ah. So YOU decided to make Jasra competent, ruthless, and intelligent -- although not infallible, clearly!

Ohhh you did mention earlier that it was Merlin you were concerned about. Guess I had Luke on the brain since it's his POV. So which is worse, the request feeling OOC or Merlin dropping it when Luke doesn't take to it? Maybe Merlin could revisit it on their... "outing."

I would still read it if it's connected to your Merlin'n'Luke stuff, and just expect that a lot of things go over my head, but if you're inclined to enlighten me that would be peachy too.

I think I've now hit the end of the scene in the Luke POV document. The question is whether or not what's going on in Merlin's head is obvious enough given that Luke doesn't quite get it.

I'm also not sure if this is a standalone in the arc or if it's the first chapter of something longer. I'm not convinced that it's going somewhere yet.

Opinions?

I'm curious -- if Merlin were to get pregnant, does that prevent her from shifting??

So, would people be reading GOS before the Luke bit? I actually read the Luke POV first, and had no idea what was in Merlin's head, I could only guess along with Luke. Re-reading it after reading GOS, and reading your comments, changes things a bit. I don't think you necessarily need to convey more of Merlin's intentions through Luke if you have enough of that in GOS... and chronologically I see GOS takes place first so I assume that's where you'd position it in the story? (I know some authors can successfully jump around in time... I tend to stay linear, except for things that are obviously just flashbacks)

Is there stuff I won't get in the story due to not knowing the books? I hope my babbling helps anyway, that I can be something to bounce your ball against :)

There's very little information about what shape shifting can and can't do in canon, so I'm leaning heavily on the rules created for the game based on the books. Those rules don't actually address pregnancy at all, but I think I know how it might work.

My assumption is that some shifting would be possible (and maybe even desirable from the point of view of making the child more likely to be a shape shifter, too). The main limitation is that any form taken would have to have room for the fetus and some sort of set up for nutrition/respiration for the fetus.

I am assuming that Merlin, in this continuity, has put a lot of effort into getting better at shape shifting. Before Jasra captured him, he had the equivalent of basic shape shifting from the game rules. Now, he's considerably better than that. It's largely because this is another way of reasserting control over his own body.

This Luke POV section would come somewhere in the middle of Garden Our Shadows, I think, because I expect that to be long and plotty with a good bit happening after Martin comes back. Most of it will be stuff that Luke won't be aware of or will only be aware of peripherally.

I'm working on a cheat sheet of some of the characters from the series for the game I'm going to run in two weeks. That will omit some information you would likely want to have, but it'll give me something to start from in terms of something to give you.

That was a very comprehensive cheat sheet! (or did you morph that into the doc for me?) Thank you, I only skimmed most of it for now because I won't retain it all, I'll just refer back to it as names come up while reading.

I would probably enjoy those books... but will probably never get around to it, I'm determined to make it through A Song of Ice and Fire (which I've started and stopped I think 3 times? If it's been more than a year or so I just start completely from the beginning) and then Lord of the Rings (4 books). Plus I like to read regular stuff too. Plus I don't read all the time. Ack!

I'm on a roll with my writing today, gonna do that the rest of the night :) Hope you're having a good weekend.

I hope your writing is still going well!

Although there are ten books in the Chronicles of Amber, each is actually pretty short. In the edition I've got, the first two books, together (SFBC edition), run 338 pages, and the next three, together, run 434 pages. The next set of five books, the ones about Merlin, are of about the same length when taken together.

I wasn't expecting you to memorize the list of characters or anything. I figured it would be something to look at when people came up in the course of the story. I gave you more information than I will give the player characters in the scenario I'll be running.

Still rolling along okay, thanks!

Oh hmm that's not so bad then. *tucks away in brain for future reference*

I figured you wouldn't quiz me on the characters ;) It's a wonderfully comprehensive reference. I will reread GoS with it handy. How's the game planning coming along?

The game planning is inching forward. I think that the main problem is that I'm having to write everything as if it's for someone who knows nothing about the setting. That underlines for me how much information there is that players actually need to know.

I also keep distracting myself with a completely different Luke/Merlin story* that's only related to everything else by when it diverges from canon. I've committed to finishing that by the end of January, so it's not nearly as urgent as having the game ready to print a week from tomorrow. I have no idea why I can't focus.

*That one's also in Gdocs, so I could link you if you're interested. I'm kind of stuck on it in terms of resolving the conflict, and I hit a point earlier today where my brain went, "Okay. That's a good ending." Except that it's a terrible ending because absolutely none of the difficulties in the story have been resolved (also, I'm 1500 words short of the minimum for the thing I signed up to write it for which is a big bang).

That's got to be rather tedious, having to explain eeeeeeverything. Straining your creative mojo?

Sure I'd like to read it! Should I comment on things even if it's not like a specific suggestion or anything helpful like that, and you can just click to get rid of them? Or would that be annoying?

LOL at your brain deciding to end prematurely. Perhaps just a sign that you should take a break and work on something else!

I really love comments as long as they're not hostile (and "Um... This really doesn't work for [reason]' is not hostile). I sometimes disagree with what's said, but I'm an adult and can deal with that.

I should mention-- Frakir is a length of cord that Merlin has imbued with magic and some level of awareness. It can move on its own and will react if it realizes that Merlin is threatened but is not particularly bright. Merlin normally wears it wound around his wrist so that it's handy if he's attacked.

I think the real problem I'm having with the game preparation is knowing that I'll feel like I wasted the time spent on the extra explanations if I get only players who know the setting already. The explanations are work and take away time I could spend on other things. Also, if the players know the setting already, I can complicate things a lot more without overburdening them, but if they don't... Yeah.

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