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I'm looking for brainstorming and revision help with some Weiss Kreuz fics for [community profile] weissvsaiyuki. I'm not sure how much canon knowledge is necessary for any of these. They're all Schwarz-centric, so there's less canon to work with (I don't even try to be consistent with the drama CDs and manga, just the anime).

One is either T or M rated and complete, but I think the ending is weak and possibly too rapid. I'd like a second opinion on it. The story is dark. I'm trying to end with a glimmer of hope, but that's one of the things I'm not sure even vaguely works.

The second is somewhere between one third and three quarters done. I'm at a point where I have to make a story decision and can't get myself to because none of the options quite work for me. I'm pretty sure I'm missing something. I'm not sure where to put the rating on this one-- Probably T for now with the possibility of it going upward depending on where it goes from here. Right now, it's gen (but could be read as Crawford and Schuldig being involved off screen. Or not), and I'm not planning to change that, but...

The third is E rated and potentially squicky due to noncon. I think it's half done. At about 2000 words in (out of about 3400 currently), it took a sudden left turn from PWP into character development that I think is not consistent with the first part of the story. I'm just too close to the story to be able to tell for sure, and I want a second opinion on that and on whether I should axe the character development to go back to the PWP or rewrite the first part to support the character development.
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I walked for a little more than an hour this morning after walking Cordelia to the bus stop (a careful twenty feet behind her). I went to the science and nature center and got bitten by more mosquitoes than I expected to see this time of year. I then walked a bit further up the road to the two portals near the golf course. (There's one actually on the course, about 80 meters from the road, but I think no one ever goes after it. I think I've only seen it captured once in the two years I've been playing. There isn't a fence or no trespassing signs, but there are people actually playing golf, even at 7:30 in the morning.)

I've been lying flat on my back at least twice a day for a while. The hard floor hurts, but it's the one thing I can do that makes my shoulders and neck release some tension. Lying on a more yielding surface doesn't do it. I can only tolerate a few minutes of lying on the floor at a time. I've been tempted to try a little alcohol to see if that will help those muscles relax, but I'm taking Tylenol at least once a day for the elbow pain (can't sleep at all without it). I'm not willing to trade shoulder/neck tension, even at these levels, for liver damage.

I did no writing this weekend. I was kind of frustrated about it, but I can't write anything at all when Cordelia's reading over my shoulder, and I don't seem to be able to wedge things into the times when she's not sitting next to me.

I have six interlibrary loan books that I want to finish and return. I've also got a couple of books that can't be renewed. I'm trying to work on some of the audiobooks I've got on my laptop, too. It's just that those take so very, very long to get through.

I think I didn't quite get the cold Scott had. He's still coughing a lot, but I'm better already. Cordelia was feeling a bit off over the weekend, too, but she didn't mention it this morning.
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I ended up not going to Kroger yesterday. I just couldn't spend that long out of the house when Scott was still too sick to be able to refill his water bottle without wiping himself out. (Cordelia wasn't home until almost 5:00). I thought I'd go this morning, right after walking Cordelia to the cross walk (if you can call it that when she generally walks about twenty feet ahead of me and doesn't acknowledge I'm there. It's just that she finds the idea of me not doing it completely unacceptable), but it's pouring rain.

I'm hoping that the rain will let up a little later on. I absolutely have to get the prescription today because I've taken the last tablet and need another some time between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. I just don't want to deal with wet feet from standing in the rain. In a little bit, I'll dig up some dry socks and see if one of my other pairs of shoes is closer to waterproof. My boots are, but I'd feel silly wearing those with shorts.

I'm also trying to figure out what to get in addition to my prescriptions. The things we actually need are mostly kind of heavy-- honey, chicken noodle soup, lemon juice-- which makes things more challenging. Maybe my backpack? But I also need to get bread, and I don't want that to get smashed.

Maybe cleaning the bread machine and setting something up there is a better option? I'm not sure if our bread flour is still good, though; I'll see how it smells.

My back was so tense and painful last night that I did end up lying on the floor. It helped those muscle spasms a lot but hurt in other ways because the floor is hard. I just think I'm going to have to do that a time or three every day. Usually, I'd try having a little alcohol (like a wine cooler amount) for this, but I'm taking Tylenol for the elbow pain, so alcohol is absolutely out.

I've promised Cordelia that I will finish my current Netflix DVD today so that I can send hers back in the same envelope. She's been waiting a couple of weeks for me to finish, so I really, really have to do it.

Because I really needed another WIP, I started a new story yesterday. I wrote about a thousand words, and I'm hoping to keep it under three thousand. It's another Weiss Kreuz story, so if I finish it in time, I can use it for [community profile] weissvsaiyuki. I started from one of the posted prompts, but I don't know that the story actually fits it now. I just have to figure out what the story's actually about.
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I had no luck at all with napping yesterday. I think I'm just too stressed out to manage it. I tried for long enough that I ended up feeling fairly dehydrated. We were all in bed by 9:30 last night, and I feel a lot better this morning than I did yesterday, so I really think that getting to bed earlier is key.

Scott's cold is bad enough that he called in sick even though he'll get into trouble for it. He was having trouble doing anything at all last night and went straight back to bed after making the phone call. He's got a nasty cough. So far as I can tell, he doesn't have a fever, but he thought he might because of how he felt.

I'm going to have to haul myself outside later on today to go and pick up a prescription that's waiting. I have enough of the medication to last me through breakfast tomorrow, but I'll need the new bottle by noon. Wellbutrin is not something I'm enthusiastic about missing doses of. I don't think it's doing anything useful for me (apart from serving to demonstrate that Look! I am trying to do something about my anxiety! Honest!), but it's a bad thing to stop cold turkey.

I suppose I could get the dratted thing tomorrow morning instead, but this way, I can pick up some bread so that I can make Scott a sandwich for work tomorrow (all the bread was moldy yesterday, but he felt too terrible to pick up more). I can also see what cold medicines we have and what we need. I think we're out of most of the things Scott would normally take.

Maybe I can motivate myself to go with a promise of lunch out and/or a stop at that park halfway there that has Ingress portals I've never hacked. It would have been pretty easy to go straight from dropping Cordelia at the crosswalk, but it's hours yet before the pharmacy opens. I'm not sure much out that way is open yet, either. Possibly the two coffee places? There's a bakery, too, but it doesn't have anywhere for people to sit down and eat what they've bought.

I think I've finished one of my Weiss Kreuz stories for [community profile] weissvsaiyuki. It still needs tweaking in the details, and I think the ending's not paced properly, but it has an ending now. The one that's the next most likely to be possible to finish is sitting at a story pivot point. I don't quite like any of the paths I could take it down. Well, rather, I don't think any of them is more right or more appealing or easier or... anything that would make the decision more than a roll of a die. It's also kind of close in the through line (so far) to another story I wrote recently. The other two WIP that might work for the challenge are complicated and likely to be very, very long. One is at 6K words and probably needs 12K to 15K to find an ending (though I've been wrong before. In both directions). The other is at 4.5K and probably needs to be at least 30K.
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I took a little bit of a walk after leaving Cordelia at the crosswalk. I took about half an hour. It's in the mid-40s out there, so it was pleasant with a light jacket.

We've figured out that Scott and Cordelia can't keep doing the things they're doing with their phones/data unless we're willing to pay more. For Scott, it's constant Facebook on his breaks and lunch. For Cordelia, it's Snapchat because she has one friend who sends something like 40 photos on an average day. Cordelia didn't realize that receiving each of those used data. She really doesn't like the idea of cutting off Snapchat, even for a few hours, because it's too much like cutting off the friends who are at other schools. Skyline has wifi, but it's terrible quality, according to Cordelia.

I'm trying to weed out messages from my inbox. There are some things, mostly DW comments, that I meant to answer, but they're now six weeks old, and I no longer remember the full context. The answers were either more for politeness than ongoing discussion or things that were too difficult to address at the time.

I gave up on a set of Great Courses lectures about writing fiction because, once I saw the first few lectures and looked at the titles of the rest, I realized that it didn't address the any of the things I need to work on in my own writing. Most of it was characterization/character development, dialogue, and plot construction. I'm pretty comfortable with all of that. I need techniques for integrating visual description into my narrative flow (I write two people, in a void, talking to each other, far too often) and how to structure action scenes, particularly scenes with more than two characters present.

Of course, I was also put off by the lecturer starting out by talking about the importance of outlining for plot. He later admitted, as if it was something potentially shameful, that he finds out who his characters are by writing them and seeing what they do. So I'm side-eying all of that. I suppose that outlining works for enough people that it's a basic thing to teach. I'd just like acknowledgement that that's not the natural flow for some (many!) people so that people who're just starting out don't think they can't write just because they can't outline.

I did a little bit of writing last night and discovered that I'd completed the emotional arc of the story. There's still tens of thousands of words worth of the plot I thought I was writing, but the emotional arc is done. Given that this is part of House of Sulfur and Mercury, I'm just going to end there and start a sequel to deal with the plot. This last chapter isn't quite 900 words, so it feels horribly short, but it's done.

The next things I need to work on are stories for [community profile] weissvsaiyuki and characters for UCon. The latter have two aspects to chip away at-- the numbers and rule related things and then the actual character histories, goals, etc. I want to have seven characters that people could play, but I need to plan so that I could run with just two of them, any two of them, and I capped attendance at five players, so they won't all seven get played. I can't imagine the game filling, all the players showing up, and then having extra players wanting in. It's scheduled for 9 a.m. on Saturday, after all.
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Cordelia went out for a few hours this afternoon with her middle school friends. They've decided to alternate weeks with movie night on Friday one week and a Sunday afternoon gabfest the next. I think that one of the girls can't do things on Fridays, but I'm not sure.

Scott's asleep. At this point, I don't see a point in waking him at all until morning. He napped a little while Cordelia was out (he provided transportation both ways), but apart from that hour to hour and a half, he had been up for roughly twenty three hours when he lay down to sleep. I'll have to wake him for a little when I go to bed because I have to be able to see which medication bottles are which.

We went to Bob Evans for breakfast this morning after Scott got home and showered. After we got home from that, Scott did the grocery shopping while I started in on laundry. He did the library run after dropping Cordelia off at her friend's house.

Scott having had to work last night means that I still haven't tried taking two of the Halcion tablets to see how that affects my sleep. I'm not willing to do it unless he'll be there during the night and in the morning.

I wrote about 500 words last night. Sadly, I wrote it at the point when I should have been in bed and asleep, so I've been dragging all day. I keep looking at the floor and thinking about lying down there in spite of knowing how much doing that would hurt. I have no idea why my brain thinks the floor is more attractive than the couch. Maybe because I've tried the couch several times in the last two weeks?

We're going to try to figure out how to upgrade Cordelia's laptop. There are things she wants to do now that the machine is too old in terms of hardware to support, and we expect that high school will bring things she actually needs to do that need better hardware. If nothing else, she's taking digital photography later this year. I'm pretty sure we will have a hard time finding software for that that will work on a Macbook made in 2008.

Upgrading my laptop is going to have to wait. We still haven't paid off my current laptop or Cordelia's. We got them refurbished, so we didn't pay full price, but I'm not sure Scott's decision in that regard was necessarily wise because what he ended up getting was only a very little bit newer than what we used to have and stopped being able to advance in terms of OS within the first six months we had them. For me, it's less important because I mostly chat, do email, write, and browse the web. I don't stream much or play games. I don't need the latest bells and whistles in my word processor, not as long as other people can still open and read my documents if I share them.

Scott's thrilled at the idea of me not doing Yuletide. He says that all I talk about during the writing period is my story and that that makes him feel like I'm not actually present. I pointed out that I'm always thinking of stories and that I'm happier when I'm writing. I should have added that I just talk to him about the Yuletide stories because he often knows the fandoms and because they're almost never smut. I do 90% of my writing for any exchange/challenge at points when I'm alone, but my brain never stops churning with story ideas.

I need to try to find a chance to talk to him about this when Cordelia's not around. I feel like I don't have all that much that's mine and like he's saying I shouldn't have anything if it attracts attention. I'm pretty sure that's not what he means, but it's still hurtful and pisses me off.
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My body's being obnoxious on the menstrual front, and I really want to sleep. It's Thursday, though, so I have a lot to do before the cleaning lady comes two hours from now. I did try to nap for about three hours, but the phone rang twice, and I had to get up twice to pee, and Scott was not quiet at all while he showered. When I realized that it had been three hours, I got up to get going on the things I need to do. I have two loads of laundry to wash, and I need to run the dishwasher. I need to find a few bits of paperwork and then deal with them.

I think that September's word count is going to be the low for so far this year. It was about 4700 the last time I checked, and I haven't written since then. If I can get myself writing again in the next couple of weeks, I'll be much more likely to sign up for Yuletide. If I can't, it's probably a sign that I'd not be able to handle an assignment.

Some time yesterday, I lost the Ingress portal that I'd held for 128 days. I got a badge a 90 days and was hoping to get the last badge at 150 days. The Guardian badge is almost 100% luck, though. All you can do is to keep recharging things and hope that no one comes by to knock them over. Really active and/or passionate players tend to have more trouble keeping a Guardian portal because equally passionate folks on the other side will seek out potential Guardian portals for those people just to take them out. I didn't expect to keep this particular portal as long as I ended up doing because it was one that I dropped a single resonator on as we drove by on our way through a town I'd never been in before. Things reachable from a car driving by don't last.

I have two portals at about 45 days each which might, in theory at least, get to the 150 day mark. I shan't hold my breath on them, either, but I'll keep recharging them as long as they're mine.

I would like to go and wander around North Campus, playing Ingress, some morning while the weather's cool enough that I can bear it but not yet so cold that my lungs can't handle it. I could catch a bus that way after dropping Cordelia off in the morning, but I worry about getting there and suddenly really needing a bathroom. The university has a couple of libraries there, but I'm not sure of their hours or of whether they require showing ID to get in. I suppose that's something I should be able to research. It just would suck to be 45 minutes from a bathroom and need one desperately.

From a certain point of view, the best time for me to go and do things is in the very early morning when I'm out of the house anyway. That means I don't have to work myself up to leaving home again. Stepping out the door at all is generally the hardest part. Temperature wise, it tends to be better then or a couple of hours after dark (and the buses aren't very useful that late). But, some days, some time between 8 a.m. and 10:30 a.m., I spend 45 minutes to an hour really needing to have access to a bathroom.

I saw my psychiatrist on Tuesday. She gave me a prescription for more Halcion and suggested that I try taking two tablets at some point so that I know whether or not that's an option if I'm stressed out enough that one tablet doesn't help me at all. I will probably try that Saturday night because Scott will be home that night and I won't need to be up at any particular time on Sunday. He'll be working Friday night, so that's not an option. He won't work Sunday night, but I have to be up at 5 on Monday morning.
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Scott didn't get to bed until 11 this morning and so didn't get up until sometime around 7 this evening. I feel like I've been cat waxing all day, but I reminded myself that I don't have any absolute commitments for projects until UCon in November. I want to write some stories for [community profile] weissvsaiyuki which is having a fanworks battle in October, but if I don't, I won't be defaulting on someone.

Of course, today's cat waxing was scrolling through the Gdoc of prompts for the Trick or Treat exchange, saving off anything that I thought might be fun to write, and then reorganizing my old archives of saved prompts in hopes of being able to find things more easily. I don't know that I ever actually will write any of those, but it's hard to say. I also need to figure out a better way of organizing prompts within fandoms.

The Gdoc for Trick or Treat stripped out the links to letters, and only a few of the requests had had the links added back (I think each person has to ask for it to be done themselves and to provide the url), so there were a lot of things that, based on fandom and characters, might have been things I could write but that weren't enough to give me a different starting place than I'd have just writing something for myself.

I suppose that I should be glad of that as a way of limiting how many prompts I saved off. The full Gdoc was somewhere between 700 and 800 pages. My Gdoc of saved Trick or Treat prompts was only 31 pages. Well, 24 pages once I changed the line spacing, but the line spacing copied over from the original.

I slept middling badly last night. I didn't take anything to help me sleep, so I didn't sleep as soundly and kept half waking from the pain my elbow or unhappiness with my dreams (it's very frustrating to have a dream where I know I'm in a story and know how it will all come out and keep having my efforts to change things simply not work at all).
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I've been steadily chipping away at my to-do list since Scott went to bed this morning. I think today's my best bet for dealing with phone calls and forms. Scott said that, since he'll be home during business hours this week, I could pass him a list of calls, too.

I've got about two hours before Cordelia gets home, and I'm trying to figure out my priorities. I have to find another black pen so that I can finish filling out the Aetna claim forms (I knocked my last one under the loveseat and am not quite desperate enough to try to move that to retrieve it). I have a non-urgent email and a non-urgent phone call. There is an urgent-ish call on Scott's list, and I maybe ought to make that one as it needs doing while Cordelia's not home.

Of course, what I really want to do is nap. I may just give up and do that.

I did a little bit of writing last night and realized why I haven't gotten much done recently. Cordelia's been glued to my side for considerable periods and turning up for that more or less at random during the time she's home. She reads whatever's showing on my laptop and rather disapproves of me writing fanfic because I'm old. She especially disapproves of me writing anything even vaguely sexual.

Scott and I drove into town this morning to return a book to Community. Cordelia claims she told me to take it back on Friday when I went in to withdraw her, but I don't remember that at all. At any rate, it took about ten minutes this morning, so it wasn't a big deal.

I need to talk to folks at Skyline about letting Cordelia sign herself in and out with me either calling or writing a note to authorize it. If she can do that, it would make appointments during school hours infinitely more possible from my side of things.

I discovered today that, while I can shut down the ringing of our landline phones, I can't shut down the ringing from the base unit/charger. I'm not sure what the point is of being able to mute ringing on the mobile bit if the base is just going to howl. The problem is that we have a phone in our bedroom, so Scott was awakened by a junk call around 10:00 this morning. We only have a landline at this point because it was cheaper to get cable and phone with the internet than to get the internet connection on its own. The 'landline' isn't exactly a landline, either, and stops working when we lose power, so it doesn't even give us that.
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I have officially defaulted on Darkest Night. I realized that things with Cordelia aren't going to get better at all for a while-- weeks at best and quite possibly months-- and that I haven't been able to write all week because of it. Even if I do write more this month, I'm about 85% sure I couldn't write the things requested in my assignment. Not right now.

I feel bad because I feel like I'm letting myself down, but I think that, realistically, I can't do it. Better to default with twenty days to the deadline so that the pinch hitter has more time to work. Given the requested fandoms, I don't expect finding a pinch hitter to be that difficult.

I'm still going to nominate for Yuletide and then make the call about signing up later.
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Cordelia has decided that she wants to watch Buffy now. She's been reading YA with vampires and thinly disguised Slayers. We watched the first two episodes this morning before Cordelia went to school. She said a lot of the tropes were immediately familiar, and she complained about the physics not being accurate.

I took a walk again after dropping Cordelia at the bus stop, up to the science center for portal hacking again. I walked very, very slowly up until the end of the walk when I started feeling some urgency to get home.

I need to dive into a beta read of a long fic that needs to get done quickly. I got the document right after Cordelia got home yesterday, so I didn't have a chance to look at it last night. I've got about two hours now. I can probably work on it after Cordelia gets home today if all goes well. Fingers crossed.
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We went to breakfast at Bob Evans yesterday. I still have half of my pancakes.

We drove Cordelia and a boy from her friends group to the fairgrounds where they met about five other kids. We left them there and wandered around a bit, Ingressing. Scott was peeved to find out that the folks who took down his science center portals were doing it in retaliation for things someone else did, and Saline happens to be the territory of one of the folks who did it, so Scott picked a portal that anchored a lot of big fields, and we took that out. We didn't hold it more than an hour or two, but the other player had to go out there to take it back. We also picked off several portals that only had a resonator or two on them. Those were recaptured by the time we'd walked two blocks.

I don't think Scott was annoyed enough to have gone out there without some other reason to make the trip, but he was pleased to have it all coincide.

I only need 64 unique portals hacked to get my silver Explorer badge. I need to place 42 more mods to get my Engineer silver and create 95 fields to get my silver Mind Controller badge. None of my silvers are even remotely near to getting to gold.

We gave two girls rides home. They and the friends who weren't riding with us wanted bubble tea or frozen yogurt or some such to cap the day, so we took them downtown. I stayed in the car to eat my dinner while everyone else went and got smoothies. Scott brought one back for me. His ulterior motive was that he could tell it was going to start raining soon. He didn't want to have to walk back to the parking structure in the rain.

And it came down in sheets when it did start. All the kids got soaked in spite of waiting under a theater marquee. A lot of the sewers were backing up so that there were puddles inches deep in places. The downpour only lasted about twenty minutes, and things drained pretty fast after that, but I don't like the indication for the health of our storm sewers.

I ended up having KFC's mac and cheese and coleslaw because we weren't going to be home before my drop dead time for eating and because that was all we could find open that had anything reasonable in terms of reflux risk. Given that that's now 6 p.m., this is going to be an ongoing issue. Me needing to be in bed at 9 p.m. is also going to put a serious crimp in our Wednesday game group plans because we run from 7 to 10 and generally don't manage to start playing anything until around 8.

I've set alarms to help me remember my new schedule for meals and medications because there's not much wiggle room at the end of the day given when I'm going to try to sleep and that I'll be taking my thyroid medication before I lie down. No more ice cream in the evening or snacks during game sessions.

I completely lost track of my word counts during August. At this point, I'm not sure what I counted and what I didn't. I don't think I wrote enough that it matters much, but I'm still taking it as a sign of stress and trying not to be annoyed with myself. I've got counts on some things I wrote; I'll just use those and handwave the rest.

Scott still has his alarm set for the old wake up time. It's a matter of about fifteen minutes, so we couldn't go back to sleep for that time. That meant that I had Cordelia's breakfast made and coffee for her and me ready by the time she got up. I walked her to the bus stop which turned out to be, as I expected, in the lot of her old school. We were a little worried by the fact that there was a school bus pulling out of the lot as we approached. We were ten minutes before the official pick up time, so I was pretty sure it had to be a different bus, but we didn't know.

Cordelia didn't say hello to any of the waiting kids, so I think she didn't know them. I certainly didn't recognize any of them. After the bus left, I walked to the science center to hack the portals there. I was out until a bit after 8:00 (pick up was 7:20-ish), but I was walking very, very slowly both because the grass was damp and slippery and because I wanted to get two hacks on each portal if I could without standing still (mostly, I couldn't).

In the road in front of the school, they've put up signs telling drivers to stop for foot traffic. There are also narrow plastic cones separating the lanes and along the curb at the crosswalk so that drivers can't possible miss it. I was glad to see, on my way back from the science center, that the school there still has a human crossing guard. We were a little concerned that they'd have eliminated that position.
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Looking at the bottle of Lunesta, I actually tried 2 mg Saturday night. I tried 3 mg last night, and it still did nothing at all. I'm going with Ativan tonight and hoping desperately that I can sleep. I'll give my psychiatrist a call tomorrow to ask what she recommends. If I feel no change at all in drowsiness with 3 mg of Lunesta, I can't imagine continuing with the Lunesta will do anything useful at all.

Yesterday was a very laid back day. We went to the library, and Scott went the Games Library Day in Ypsilanti. Apart from that, nothing much happened at all.

The library blog announced today that we won't have access to easy interlibrary loan through the MelCat system in between the 1st of October and some time next year because the online catalog is going to be updated and can't interact with the MelCat system at all until after that's done. That means they need enough lead time to return all MelCat books before the change and then time after to iron out all of the bugs in the new system. Since I've been going through MelCat for a lot of stuff recently, I'm not pleased. We'll still have some interlibrary loan options, but it will require going through the library staff.

I'm going to miss being able to stay up in the evening. The one person I chat with in AIM regularly is on the west coast and so not online before I'll be going to bed. This may be an issue because she's the one I'm most likely to babble at about fics. The combination of me flitting from fandom to fandom as a writer (and most of those being small or old) with me often writing darkfic with potentially squicky content (mostly noncon but sometimes with kink, too) makes finding someone to talk to hard.

I need a to be able to babble about story details in order to keep writing. I find doing that in chat or in person much more useful than comments or email. Group chat isn't great because I can't be sure that I'm not going to cross a line in terms of the comfort of some of the people in there (right now, I can't do one on one in IRC because I haven't managed to find a program that will work for me. The web access is... not great at all). Also, I'm often writing exchange stories that require anonymity with no way to be sure whether or not my recipient is there.
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I feel about as tired now as I did when I went to bed. I'm a bit more alert and considerably less achy, but I still feel exhausted. I stayed up until midnight, and I got up about 9:00. I tried last night without either Ativan or Lunesta (and skipped the Zyrtec, going back to the Claritin instead). Potential medical TMI )

I'm also trying to find someone we know locally who might want the bottle of Zyrtec. Scott uses Allegra, and I really can't use the remaining 69 pills in the bottle. Scott got cranky and told me that he hadn't realized this was a test of whether or not I could take the stuff, that he wouldn't have bought the big, $25 bottle if he'd realized. I'm pretty sure that exactly what I said to him was, "My doctor wants me to try Zyrtec instead of Claritin. Please buy some." Well, exactly but with the doctor's name in place of 'my doctor.' He does the shopping, so he knows that I've been taking Claritin for years without trying anything else.

I can only assume that he's as exhausted as I am. He's working really long days, and family stuff (I'll talk about that under lock) is getting stressful enough that being at home isn't downtime.

Last night, some folks from the other side in Ingress came through and took down all of the science center portals. I'm going to try to haul myself over there to take them back, but the so, so tired side of things may win. I'm told by other players on our side that this was likely retaliation for people on our side of things having started to regularly go and take down certain areas where these players keep building things up. Which makes sense, but I'm still irritated that it happened while Scott was asleep (he's working 3 a.m. to 3 p.m. today) and couldn't help me try to hold onto anything.

I'm not happy with my Captive Audience story. I think it needs another 5000 to 10000 words in order to really be complete, but I don't have the time for it before the deadline, so I'm trying to get what I've got to the point that it's acceptable to post. If all goes well, I'll have time for editing and, possibly, expansion next week, after Cordelia starts school and before the reveal, but I really need a bus draft. Right at the moment, I'm dithering about whether or not to chapter the dratted thing. The natural breaks don't really lend themselves to equal chapters. There'd be one three times longer than the next longest. I thought there was a break in the middle of it, but at that point, each paragraph depends on the preceding one in order to make sense, so a chapter break would damage the flow.

I'm in less of a hurry about the tags and the blurb.
the_rck: (Default)
I over did things yesterday. After I left Medequip at about 11:20, I walked for a bit more than an hour. This was more tiring than it would normally be because I had my c-PAP, my purse, and a bag with a book and my full water bottle. The c-PAP was mostly willing to stay hanging from my shoulder, but the other two kept slipping down. I have no idea how far I walked (Scott has been promising me a fit-bit equivalent for over a year. He says 'real soon,' but I don't believe him) because Ingress is very inexact on that. It counts in kilometer increments and includes any distance registered by the GPS as being at a possible walking pace rather than counting steps.

I was lucky in that a bus to downtown arrived less than two minutes after I got to the stop and that it got me downtown at a time when I didn't need to wait for the bus home.

I was so tired by the time I got home, though, that I didn't move much for the rest of the day.

I'm progressing on my Captive Audience story again. It's at 10K words now, and I have no idea how to end it or even exactly what I need to have happen first. I don't think I have Lima or Stockholm syndrome yet. It's very clearly going to happen, but it hasn't yet. I should have remembered that, while I like writing this sort of thing, I can't write it short. I have to have the story ready to post tomorrow. I fear that will mean no beta read (I may not even have the time to go over it for typos. I usually need a week between finishing writing and being able to see typos).

I'm not entirely sure that I can find the end of the damned story before the deadline.

I tried taking Zyrtec last night instead of Claritin (my primary care doctor suggested it). I've been a groggy zombie today, so I'm inclined to got back to Claritin. She thought Zyrtec might be more effective than the Claritin has been in dealing with the occasional problems I've been having with sinus irritation from the c-PAP. The other-- and more major thing-- against continuing to take the Zyrtec is that it's apparently a very bad combination with Lunesta. I told my pcp that I was likely to take Lunesta, but I'm not sure I mentioned the Zyrtec to my psychiatrist the next day, and my pcp pretty clearly wanted me to be taking something else than Lunesta. I think she somehow didn't understand that things that make me more tired and less able to think during the day are not things I will continue to take, not unless stopping will kill me.

My hope is to try the Lunesta at a very low dose tonight and see how it affects me.

The new c-PAP mask is much more comfortable and less anxiety inducing than the old one. The hose attaches at the top of my head now, so I don't have to try to hold onto it in order to keep the bit on my nose from shifting to a point that I can't breathe properly. The part that goes over my nose just covers the whole thing instead of needing to be placed with the right bits in each nostril. I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm pretty sure I slept better last night than I have any other time with a c-PAP.
the_rck: (Default)
My A-Ride pick up is scheduled for 10:15. I've set an alarm for 10:00 so I'll have time to put on my shoes and go outside (assuming it's not raining at that point). I've decided not to try to deal with returning the viola today. I neglected to have Cordelia find and pack up all the bits and pieces that came with it, and I don't want to walk to Shar in the rain (if it does rain).

I think I'm going to return one of my current DVD lectures sets to the library without finishing. It's about how to listen to music, and I've gotten through half of it with another 18 hours left to go. It can't be renewed, and I'm not convinced that I've learned anything. I don't know if it's that I'm starting from great ignorance, if it's that I'm only giving the lectures part of my attention, or if it's that the lecturer lost me early because the metaphors he uses don't fit how I perceive music. He's not a bad lecturer. He speaks clearly, audibly, and with enthusiasm, and I think the lectures are well structured. It's just that I parse musical sounds as kinetic, as certain kinds of movement-- waves, spirals, etc.-- and don't really hear music if it doesn't come through to me as doing that. I don't dislike it; I just don't hold onto it at all. As they say, in one ear and out the other.

I think I've found a way forward in my Captive Audience story. I've broken 9K words and don't know how much longer it will end up being. I'm not sure how much writing I'll manage today, though, given that I'll get home from my appointment around the time that the cleaning lady arrives.

Cordelia plans to be out for the evening-- The library is having a party for volunteers, and she and her friends are getting together for movie night. We'll be up as early tomorrow as we have been all week because the camp is having a breakfast party for their volunteers. They're trying to get those volunteers to stay after the party for an outdoor work/maintenance day (I assume this would be pulling out invasives and picking up any trash visitors have left behind. More of the former, probably).
the_rck: (Default)
Yesterday, I took a cab in and had it drop me at the library so that I could return a few things. I wanted to stop at the post office a block away and in between the library and my appointment, but stopping there to pay the cabbie would have been considerably less convenient. There's a drive next to the library, running between 5th Ave and Division, that's there partly for access to the lot next door and partly for people to be able to wait while someone else runs in for a minute to return something. Staying there long enough for the cabbie to run my credit card didn't block traffic or risk upsetting people.

I only had to wait about thirty seconds at the post office. Oddly, the clerk tried to close my order without dealing with the package I'd laid on the counter (I also sent a certified letter). My guess is that, in dealing with the paperwork for the letter, he lost track of there being anything else even though the dratted thing was clearly visible.

Many of the portals around the library and post office were unclaimed. I didn't have the resonators to fill them out completely, but I captured all I could (and then, while I was at my appointment, someone else came through and captured them so that I was able to take them back again for more points). After my appointment, I walked up William to State and had lunch at Totoro. Then I walked back down Liberty to Division and caught the bus home. I might have had time to get the three blocks to Blake in time to catch the bus there, but I didn't want to risk being stuck for another half an hour.

Today's entire agenda (apart from a few short chores) is writing and more writing. I'm worried that I don't have a strong grasp of one of my characters and that I may be going down a false path in the story right now, but the damned thing needs to be done today if I'm going to edit or even proofread at all. I'm hoping to limit my cat waxing because I just don't have time for it. Sometimes, it helps me to think, but not today.

I've written a lot less this month than I'd hoped to. Scott's vacation and issues with Cordelia have pretty much killed my time and energy. I'm trying to finish this story without resorting to junk food to keep my brain working while I write. We don't have much in the house that fits the description, so I'd have to ask Scott to buy it for me.

I called Mom last night to see how they're dealing with the weather. They're in Baton Rouge, so it's much less bad than in coastal Texas, and they live in the highest part of the city. Mom said that it's a very, very good thing that this hurricane didn't and probably won't hit New Orleans hard because many of the pumps there aren't working so that the flooding would be beyond horrific.

I'm currently trying to figure out my best course for the Medequip appointment tomorrow. Medequip is (according to Google) 0.1 miles from Shar Instruments, the place to which I need to return Cordelia's rented viola. I think that, if I get it back tomorrow, I won't have to pay for September. I need to check when they bill me as we might still have some time, but if they bill on the 1st, that's Friday.

I will be carrying my entire c-PAP, too. From a timing POV, going to Shar after my appointment makes more sense since I don't know how long Shar will take. It might be five minutes. It might be longer if they're busy. Shar only opens an hour before my appointment, and my arrival time is kind of unpredictable

From a carrying crap POV, however, going to Shar first makes sense. I'd take the A-Ride there and only have to carry my c-PAP during the section that I'll be walking. It's just that the A-Ride is so unreliable about timing. Shar opens at 10, an hour before my appointment, so I can't possibly have more than an hour for turning things in and getting to Medequip. Also, the A-Ride folks will tell me that I should ask for a pick up at 9 if I want to be certain to arrive by 10:30, but that's very likely to leave me sitting on the ground outside for forty five minutes until they open. Except when it doesn't. One or two rides out of every ten involve long delays to either pick up or arrival.

I need to look at what I'll be carrying and at how much space it will take. The A-Ride has restrictions on that because they want to be able to fit three people in the back seat if necessary. That might be an argument for going to Medequip first and only going to Shar if the cabbie tells me that we won't be picking up other people on the way (and if the cab isn't filled when it arrives here). I haven't always had shared rides, but it's not at all rare, maybe thirty to forty percent of the time. I've only been in a cab with four total passengers (plus the driver) once.

My current plan is to take the bus home after. Going home by bus is easier, anxiety wise, than going out by bus. This is probably because I'm heading toward perceived safety and because the alternative is staying where I am which is unacceptable to the anxiety brainweasels.

Okay, time to make my decision and call the A-Ride people. Or maybe I should shower first and then call?
the_rck: (Default)
I'm trying to nail down my ideas for the tabletop RPG that I'm going to run at UCon. I've been tired enough to stall on the second most basic thing (after system. I'm doing a home rules game). I have a scenario trigger idea but no details, and that trigger event can fit into any of the following genres. I just don't have a strong enough preference.

I'm mostly doing a poll because I'm too lazy to go find a dice program to replace the one that I had that stopped working two OS updates back. Doing seven options on a physical die is a PITA, so I'm not going there (especially not when I have two d10 and a d12 handy. Anything else will require searching for my dice bag).

Poll #18744 Scenario Genre for UCon
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 8


Which genre should I use for my UCon RPG scenario?

View Answers

Fantasy
2 (25.0%)

Horror
0 (0.0%)

SF
0 (0.0%)

Fantasy & Horror blend
2 (25.0%)

Fantasy & SF blend
1 (12.5%)

Horror & SF blend
2 (25.0%)

Fantasy, horror, & SF blend
1 (12.5%)

the_rck: (Default)
Scott's going to have to work Saturday. That kind of blows up our weekend plans, but the plant is doing full production that day, so everybody's working, no way around it. At least I can steal the equipment he'd been saving for the anomaly? (Definitely looking for a silver lining.)

We had a trial run this morning for how things will work in the fall, once school starts, because Cordelia had to catch a city bus at 7 a.m. in order to be at Skyline for an 8 a.m. orientation. I'm pretty sure I only got through it because I woke at 2:30 and took my thyroid medicine. If I don't wake to take it, I have to wait an hour and a half before I can eat or have my morning tea/coffee. Which would mean eating right at the point that I can actually go back to bed.

I have no idea how I'm going to make it through that time without sugar and caffeine. Scott has asked me not to discuss it because it upsets Cordelia to think that she's making things hard for me. I kind of want to snarl at him because that doesn't actually help me at all.

I'm kind of thinking that what ought to happen is for Scott to be the one to make Cordelia's breakfast since he'll be getting up at the same time she does. I'm not convinced that I need to be up to do that just so that he can sit on the couch and watch TV with her. (She needs the whole hour and a half to spin up and be functional. If someone doesn't put food in front of her, she won't eat.) I guess we'll see.

After Cordelia got on the bus, I took a walk. I walked very slowly for about an hour and a half. Then I went home and tried to get some things done. At about 10:30, I tried to nap, but I kept getting texts and phone calls. I did sleep some because I had kind of gripping dreams in between the texts. I figure I'm tired if I manage to out and out dream in a ten minute nap between text messages.

I need to find some space for myself in the next few days so that I can finish the fic that's due in early September. The problem is that I can't write it while Cordelia's home, so I may not actually have much time. She's volunteering most of next week, so maybe I'll have time then, but I also have doctor appointments in there and a bunch of other things that need doing while she's not at home. I don't know. I have 6000 words of story and something that would be an ending for any other exchange. I just haven't gotten what I need for this.

I'd normally ask Scott to get Cordelia out of the house, but I don't see that happening between now and the due date. There's just no way to make it work.
the_rck: (Default)
I'm up early after not nearly enough sleep because I got smacked with a migraine overnight. Amerge and caffeine seem to be beating it back, but going back to bed won't work for a while yet. I haven't slept since about half an hour before Scott's alarm went off.

I didn't take Ativan last night. I don't know if using the c-PAP without it contributed to the migraine or not.

I did a little writing last night, but I feel like I'm groping in fog to find the characters. I'm firmly in one POV, and that character can only guess at who the other character is which isn't helpful because it means I haven't defined him clearly in my own head. I'm also flip-flopping on what the POV character is willing to do to achieve her goals, and I feel like the story is already too long.

I don't think I'm going to finish the treat I started for Captive Audience by the exchange deadline. I expect the recipient would still want it if I finish it later on. It's a tiny fandom, so not many people were likely to read it anyway.

I'm looking at my holds list at the library and trying to figure out how I ended up with four movies and a season of anime all to pick up on Sunday. There's a waitlist on the anime series and on one of the movies, so I guess I give those top priority. At least the anime is only twelve episodes.

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