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Scott has been playing a lot of board games online. He's also playing a Sentinels of the Multiverse rpg online with a group that, apart from him, is all somewhere in Canada. He's very happy about that.

He and I have been playing Suzerain (solo, text game) together. The idea is that the player(s) make decisions for the head of state of a small and not very stable nation. The options are limited, and we've discovered that the game doesn't give any chances for partial compliance with things we've agreed to. That is, agreeing to turn back 'armed insurgents' fleeing another country becomes 'nobody whatsoever crosses the border because that country considers them all armed insurgents.' Scott and I had assumed we'd be able to give orders to our troops to let refugees cross in anyway, but the game didn't offer that option.

The game is also pretty clearly drawing on real world history but blending multiple eras and conflicts. There's a cold war with a not-the-USSR and a not-the-US option, but a lot of the internal economic/social issues are Europe between WWI and WWII. There are groups that are oppressed minorities in territory that crosses national borders (not-Kurds?) and arguments about national language (both for education and for religious services). There are young fascists and young not-Communists. 1930s levels of unemployment and of men with military training and access to old weapons. We're trying to get a new constitution through and to update education and medical care and transportation infrastructure. We're also facing a very real threat of invasion that will steamroll our existing military. We've chosen not to put money into the military yet as a gamble that our economic plans will give us more options soon enough.

Our character has split his political party in pursuing constitutional reforms and alienated a lot of very wealthy people who're used to having politicians in their pockets. Our VP (long time best friend, per the game) is very clearly on the take and also prone to showing up to things either drunk or hungover. The game offers no options for replacing him, and he keeps trying to pull us into parties with imported booze, imported food, and vast numbers of prostitutes.

I quite expect that one faction or another, foreign or domestic, will end up murdering our character. We might muddle through, but history shows that most countries going through this sort of thing end up with the attempted-to-do-the-right-thing governments failing repeatedly. Possibly the game is more optimistic about such things than I am?

We've been nice enough to the people around us and good enough at trying to take care of our family that we'll be remembered as tragically incompetent or as having tried very hard to do the right thing but having had it spoiled by Evil People.

I keep wanting this to be a tabletop game where we can actually change course and/or lie instead of having a script that limits our choices so much.

Our Firefly tabletop game continued meeting online during the last year and a half, using Bluejeans and then Vorpal Board. We're hoping to have a face to face session soon.

I'm not happy with Vorpal Board because the interface is not tremor friendly, generally, and not even the slightest bit intuitive. Also, three of us have connection issues where we'll suddenly no longer be able to hear one of the other players while also having no way to know it happened unless we notice weird gaps in the conversation. There are six of us, so sometimes any given person just doesn't talk for a while. Also, the other three players don't lose sound from anyone unless everyone does.

The very puzzling thing is that Scott has zero problems in that direction. He's in the same building I am, and we have a signal relay thingy in the room where I am. We can't be on the same screen because he's the GM and has information I can't see.

At any rate, I'm looking forward to having an in person session again. We're all vaccinated, and all of our family members are vaccinated, so the general consensus is to try it two weeks from now (two of the players are currently visiting family and weren't local last week). The four of us who will be in Ann Arbor got together to play Betrayal Legacy. I had to have the other players do all of the hand related stuff for me, moving my game piece, writing required things, picking up cards, rolling dice.

I probably could have done some of it, but the amount of pain involved would have taken away any pleasure in the game or in the social time. There really isn't a bearable number of times to smash one's hand with a hammer, not if there's no reason to do it but pride.
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I'm still not reading here regularly. I'm reading more library books, both ebooks and paper, and finding other ways to fill my time. I get a bit overwhelmed when I think about trying to catch up.

I'm also still having a lot of hand/wrist issues. I've figured out how to minimize the pain and numbness, but I'm still prone to misjudging how long I can afford to keep typing. It doesn't usually hit me until hours later, sometimes, even a day later. The problems accumulate.

Cordelia took part two of drivers' training last week. It was several hours of lecture followed by a test. The class was held in the parking lot with each student bringing their own chair. They skipped the films they'd normally have shown.

We haven't tried to schedule the actual licensing test. Cordelia wants more time to practice parallel parking since she's not comfortable with that yet.

I've written a couple of exchange stories that haven't yet been revealed, and I'm working on three different writing projects and trying to figure out how I want to deal with UCon. That last requires some experimentation with platforms and with what our WiFi can handle in terms of me and Scott running games at the same time. I've asked Scott for help, but this is the worst time of year for scheduling anything that needs his participation.

The two probable options are him running in BlueJeans while I run in Discord or both of us running in BlueJeans. He's spending a lot of time working on investigating other platforms so that UCon can give their potential GMs some solid information about their options. I could probably get by with audio only and maybe some stuff on Gdocs, but I'd like to have video, too.

My body has reset the clock on menopause again. This period has been going for two weeks now.

Stuff about writing )

Cut for COVID discussion and risk taking relatives )

I'm having trouble managing my library holds. The decontamination delays and low staffing levels make it difficult to judge how long something will take. I've been trying to request only things that are actually on the shelf at the branch where we pick up holds, but it still sometimes takes two weeks for those to be available. I don't think there are good options in that direction in terms of predictability.

I want 4-8 CDs, 1-3 DVDs, and about 10 books (counting comics/graphic novels) a week. I'll only ever finish about half of those books, but it's usually not due to running out of time as much as there being a lot of things that I get a little way into and just don't want to finish.
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I lost Tuesday and yesterday to migraines. I suspect that, while I'm okay with stevia in my coffee, I can't deal with the amount in a can of Zevia. Or it might be entirely coincidence. I'm just suspicious. I could explain Tuesday's migraine with me having messed up my medication and meal schedule, but yesterday doesn't have that.

I've signed up for two exchanges, one for Dreaming of Sunshine and one multifandom for 10K+ fics (due date at the end of January and so doable). The Dreaming of Sunshine exchange is still doing sign ups. The multifandom one closes sign ups some time later today.

I also signed up for an exchange of writing encouragement. I'll be matched to encourage someone, and a third person will be matched to encourage me. I have no idea how well it will work, but I want to work on Rheotaxis (I'm not asking whoever matches with me to read it because 190K is a lot of words, even without the content warnings).

I've been having issues with iBooks crashing. Sometimes, I get an error message about it not finding a necessary helper program; other times, it just goes out. Just in case it's because I've overloaded it, I'm archiving some of my epub files by deleting them from iBooks without removing them from my hard drive. I had more than 4000 epubs in iBooks (mostly short fics), and a lot of them are things I don't expect to want to read or reread soon. As long as I still have my spreadsheet and know where I've stashed them, I can always open them up in iBooks again.

Our niece will be living in a dorm when the fall semester starts. There is some family friction over that decision because she and her parents think it will be fine, but the rest of us are concerned about the risk. She's going to Northern Michigan University, so trying to move up there in January would be pretty difficult. I think she also really wants to get out of the house because she's 18.

Cordelia's starting to work on college applications. There are bits of information that she needs from my parents, but she's reluctant to ask. Mostly, it's that she has grandparents who got degrees from these schools, and they ask about the exact degree and the year. She's also having issues because the applications want to know exactly what classes she's taking in her last year of high school and what her SAT or ACT scores are. She doesn't have either of those yet.

We need to fill out the forms to select Cordelia's options for the upcoming school year. Not the class selection but the methodology. The district is offering three approaches for high school students, and we're waiting to hear from the choir director as to how that class will work. She set the online meeting about that for Monday afternoon, so we'll wait until then. Supposedly, all classes will be available with the first two options while the third is more limited. The third option is the long standing program of online instruction which only offers some classes and is almost entirely independent study.

Cordelia has been experimenting with different sizes of crochet hooks. Like me, she has an easier time with the smaller hooks. Her biggest issue is that she can't figure out how to ease up and not pull everything tight. She also hasn't tried anything beyond single crochet. I can't demonstrate anything for her, so she's mostly looking at videos.
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I like the lighter weight of the new laptop a lot. I feel less like I'm constantly about to drop it. I also like the fact that I can put it to sleep with Chrome open and not have it crash when I try to wake it up.

I am a little sad that I no longer have a functional version of Scrivener. I never really found it useful for writing, but earlier this year (right around when my hands got bad), I had an idea for using it to organize my saved fic prompts and plot bunnies. The recipe template looked promising. I just have no idea how feasible it would be in terms of my own workflow and preferences. The upfront conversion time investment would be massive, and I might never do it because of that.

Shelling out for a Scrivener upgrade simply in order to find out whether or not it'll work better than my current practice (dumping prompts into documents with confusing names and occasionally reorganizing and/or culling them) seems kind of silly right now. Maybe in a year or three.

I let myself get distracted yesterday and didn't finish an Overdrive ebook that I was enjoying. It expired about an hour after I got up today, and I was only 68% through it. Getting the ebook again will take a long time, so I've put a hold on the paper version. There are copies of that on the shelf, so getting one shouldn't take more than two weeks.

Death of a neighbor. Few details )

UCon has announced that they'll be online this year rather than face to face. I'd been expecting that because the convention is in November. I'm pretty sure that they needed to let the venue know at a good distance out from the date.

We know some of the organizers, and Scott will be helping some of them test a couple of different platforms for running boardgames. They were supposed to play Flash Point last night, but the other person was ill, so it's delayed until tonight. Hopefully, it will happen.

I'm not sure if I'll participate in the convention this year. I'm not sure that I want to fight the technological challenges involved. I would like to run some role playing scenarios, but I'm not convinced that a virtual convention will be as welcoming for that.

I had been thinking to experiment with GMing online, but I put the idea on hold when I started having issues with my hands. The new laptop handles audio and video better than the old one did, though, so it may be time to look at that again.
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Okay, I'm now definite that working in the bedroom (sitting on the bed) is the key to not having the hand/wrist issues. There's no way to set up at a table with the configuration that works because it would put the tabletop somewhere inside my knee.

I was hoping that I was wrong because the late night/early morning hours have always been productive for me in terms of writing. I can write at other times, but I focus better then, even with interruptions from Cordelia.

I would like to find some sort of psychotherapist for myself, but a lot of my issues are things I can't discuss via any sort of tele-visit. A lot has to do with Scott and Cordelia and my increasing disability, and I can't talk about it at home without one or both of them as an audience. I don't think that trying to discuss it while walking around the neighborhood or sitting on the front steps would work, either, especially not for a first appointment.

This evening's goal is completing my absentee ballot so that I can mail it tomorrow. I've done the easy bits, so part of the process will be me researching each candidate. Fortunately, the ballot proposals are all straightforward.
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I've spent the last couple of days trying to get my new laptop functioning in a way that works for me. I have warned Scott that I'm probably going to complain a lot for the next several weeks. I'm still not 100% sure that this change is going to work, but we also don't have any really good options. My old laptop no longer supports all of the things that we need it to do.

I'm just frustrated because the new laptop doesn't work well in several aspects-- Trying to get all of the icons and text to a properly readable size breaks a couple of programs I use (which is a design problem that I can't believe no one noticed), and I can't connect a CD drive without Scott finding some adapters that he's having difficulty locating (everything he buys is not what he thought it would be).

The lack of adapters made transferring my files a time consuming process. We worked from my most recent Time Machine backup (after I verified that I had a good one). It took more than 20 hours which... Well, the first estimate was 209 hours, so I guess 20 hours was better. It still meant a long time without doing much of anything.

I like the fact that the new laptop is lighter. I feel less at risk of dropping it. The difference in thickness means I need to recalibrate the height of my table again which is frustrating. I don't like the cramped keyboard because it requires having my elbows quite tight against my waist. I also can't type well if I'm wearing my heavy braces because I can't reach certain keys from home row, mostly the right hand, little finger stuff. I can't tell how many of the other typo issues are due to stress over the laptop being new to me and how many are likely to linger.

The long gap of not having my laptop very definitely let me know that my hand and wrist issues relate to using the keyboard. Using eating utensils and holding my phone and/or books are also contributing factors. I'm not sure how to balance the things I must do with the things I want to do and the things that make the pain worse.

My grandmother has passed away. She was 95. We had been expecting the word at any moment the last two weeks. There will be no funeral or memorial service. My aunt and uncle who are close, geographically, are both in very poor health, and many other relatives would have to travel a long way. Grandma wouldn't have wanted us to take the risk; when Grandpa died, she told my father that attending the funeral would be the waste of what might otherwise be a good family visit.

My father may visit Michigan again, but he also may not. I think he would like to see his brother again, and his brother could die any time (he's been waiting for double lung transplant for 2-3 years now). My father's sister passed away last November. We're still in Michigan, of course, and I know he'd like to see me and Cordelia. I just don't know if he'd try to get up to Oscoda; it's a lot further from a reasonable airport.

I'm trying to work through some library books. I've read the ones that are physically light-weight, so what's left is the things that are longer and heavier. I think they're mostly children's books, so I'm hoping they'll be quick reads and not strain my hands. I'm giving up on more of this batch of library books than I usually would. I think I'm just less able to put up with minor irritants in the text.

At the moment, I'm trying to finish an Overdrive audiobook before my access ends. I've got 2 hours of the book left and 5 hours on the loan.
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I figured out some things about my hands and wrists )

We're still waiting for the replacement laptop that Scott ordered for me. It's a little fraught because we don't actually know whether or not it will be feasible for me to use it. Mostly, I'm concerned that it's not as wide as my current model and may not accommodate my hands and wrists properly, let alone my hands and wrists with the heavy braces.

I'm not sure what we do if it won't work because we can't find anything as wide or as robust as my current laptop. We've been coaxing this one along for quite a while because Apple wasn't making anything that would be better for me.
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It's been a long month. I suspect that July will feel longer still.

Cut for length )
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We ordered food from Totoro today. They're on GrubHub now rather than just asking that people pickup purchases. Scott probably would have gone to pick up food there if I'd asked, but their location is awkward for that because parking nearby is difficult. Pickup would really need two people, one to drive and orbit the block, the other to run in and get the food.

Scott did go and pick up a bubble tea order. We placed it online and paid that way. Then they assigned us a time to enter the shop to get our tea for carry out. I didn't go along, nor did Cordelia. I don't think it's something we'll do often.

Scott has taken the day off for my birthday. Tomorrow, he goes back on first shift, hopefully permanently. I expect the transition to be awkward for him and for me because we'll need to go to bed so much earlier. It will also throw my eating schedule into disarray again. We've been trying to shift things over the long weekend, but I don't think we're even close.

I'm seriously considering trying to stay up in the living room after Scott goes to bed. I might be better off doing that, especially if I can make the transition out there earlier than 10 p.m. That's Scott's target time for going to bed, but he's often watching shows that don't end before that or otherwise distracted enough to lose track of the time. I usually stay in the bedroom because I'm not interested in his shows or in Cordelia's.

Moving out there feels like a huge chore, though, and I tend to have more neck/back trouble when I sit on the couch than when I sit on the bed. On the other hand, my laptop is much happier on the table that I use out there than it is in the bedroom; it's less prone to overheating.

We're starting to consider a laptop and printer and such for Cordelia to take to college in 2021. There's sufficient money in her savings account to cover the expense, and I'd much rather spend it before we do the FAFSA paperwork. The money's Social Security that she's received based on my disability and is meant to pay for her living expenses.

(We currently use a bit more than half of it every month to help with household expenses. The rest stays in the account and comes out when we have unexpected expenses like the sewer line replacement or the furnace or what-have-you. I'm not sure how we'll adjust to the sudden disappearance of that money when she turns 18, especially when it will come with needing to deal with college expenses.)

My hands have been quite bad the last week. I've been tempted to put a sock on my right hand to discourage me from trying to grasp things with my thumb. My left hand is doing better, but I suspect that that's largely because I'm right handed and keep trying to do things on that side instead of on the left.

After a week of using the gel for rosacea, the rash on my face, neck, and shoulders is unchanged. The rash on my arms is worse. We took some pictures of my face, neck, and chest to send to my primary care doctor, but I haven't sent them yet. The rash on my chest still looks as bad as it did in terms of redness but has flattened. I think the rosacea medication had something to do with that.

We had a guy in last week to do the AC tuneup. That was straightforward enough. Cordelia stayed in her room. Scott and I wore masks. The technician wore a mask. He was the same guy who usually comes, so we didn't have to show him where things were which made keeping a safer distance more feasible. The company did check in ahead of time to ask if anyone in the house was sick.

Scott's family is kind of pushing for some sort of face to face gathering. We've been putting them off because I really can't handle doing it outside and because Scott is a potential vector for infection. Between work and shopping, he's going out at least six times a week. I really don't think his parents understand that the risk is real.

I haven't done much writing recently. I keep starting up other tasks and telling myself that I'll get to the writing soon. I need to remember that 'soon' is not actually a firm measure of time. I have an exchange assignment due soon and it's somehow not writing itself.
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I lost three days last week to migraine, two days with the actual migraine and one with hangover exhaustion. I still have no idea what caused the headache or what made it finally go away.

I'm not really sure what happened to the rest of the week. Well, no. I dived into rereading some very long fics and kept thinking that I'd do other things 'soon.'

My hands are giving me a lot of trouble. I can't type for very long at a sustained pace. Writing and chatting are possible because I have natural pauses in my rhythm-- for composition-- that let me rest a bit. Typing without those pauses only works for 5-10 minutes before it starts hurting; I push it further, though, and end up taking a very long time to recover.

Yesterday, we got food from Saica, a nearby Japanese restaurant. Sadly, it was all cold by the time it got to us. We wanted to order from Totoro, but they're only doing pick up right now. Their location makes that not really a great option. We found one delivery site that claimed to work with them, but it kept telling us that they weren't open even though the Totoro website was quite clear that they were open for pick up.

We had the weekly Zoom chat with Scott's extended family. We got a time extension which was awkward for me because my laptop really overheats during those. It doesn't like streaming audio or video; both at once is too much. It's less upset when I play audio from internal storage.

Computer issues (but also family trapped in the house issues) )

I need to do a few things today and need to corner Cordelia and make her help me with the hand intensive parts. I don't think I can manage any of the following without her help.

The list with annotations )

I'm trying to get back to reading here regularly and to opening Discord and Gchat. I just keep putting it off and then realize that the time commitment has gotten bigger because of the delay. Which leads to more avoidance.
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The state has declared Scott's plant to be 'essential services' and on the list of things that need to stay open in the case of a quarantine. That means money coming in but also means Scott being out. I'm expecting mandatory overtime this weekend.

I've been expecting the decision but also wondering if anyone would be paying enough attention to consider that having containers for milk, distilled water, etc. is kind of critical for being able to distribute them widely and reliably.

I have a headache. I think it might be stress related, but I'm not sure. I suppose the way to tell is to take an Ativan and see if it helps.

I've got laundry in at the moment with another load waiting. I changed the sheets and remade the bed. Yesterday, I made three loaves of banana-pumpkin bread (I had enough bananas for 1.5 loaves and a can of near to expiration pumpkin which I wanted to use completely if I opened it). Two of those are in the freezer; the other is nearly gone. I debated whether or not to use the flour, sugar, oil, and eggs, but I can rely on us eating this, so it seemed better than holding those things for an unspecified later.

I inventoried our two free-standing pantry cupboards and part of the kitchen cupboard. Most of what I didn't inventory is spices and things like molasses that we just don't use often.

The molasses needs checking to see if it's started to go bad. It's a partial jar that we haven't touched in a couple of years, but I may want some if we go back to using our bread machine as we all like anadama bread. We've got newly purchased yeast and enough all purpose flour for one loaf.

I'm trying to figure out how to get my laptop to work with Discord voice chats. I can receive and hear other people's voices, but I can't get my microphone to talk to Discord for anything going outward. Scott and I tried my laptop with Facetime, and we were able to make the sound work both ways without much fuss, so at least the microphone is still functional that way. My best guess is that I've got some sort of software incompatibility due to the age of my laptop.
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The ACT has moved Cordelia's test date to 13 June. As far as I can tell, they're not trying to schedule an extra date, just telling people to choose one of the existing dates and locations. They say they're going to try to add locations. I'm a bit concerned about the location part. We had transportation set for the original test date, but June and July are both horrible in terms of Scott's weekend availability, so the logistics could be challenging.

Cordelia is finding that the trimester change over is an advantage as far as the switch to online instruction goes. Few of the teachers had anything complicated to deal with for Monday or yesterday because it was all syllabus and introductions. That's letting them experiment a bit with the interface (Google classrooms) before they try more challenging interactions. Cordelia's friends who're at schools that do semesters are having a more difficult time because the teachers have more to juggle.

One of the teachers currently has the flu (not, she assures us, the coronavirus as she has a different set of symptoms). Another tells us that he and his family have left town to stay in the country because his son has major lung issues and is at high risk. Both of them seem relieved to be teaching remotely. The one with the flu is teaching ASL, and the school would have difficulty finding a sub with subject knowledge. The one with the family leaving town teaches math.

We're still trying to find distilled water for our c-pap reservoirs. Scott's been to half a dozen places at different times, but there hasn't been any to be found. He's looking for toilet paper, too. We have enough of that for at least a week, possibly ten days, but since he's not seeing it anywhere, he's looking for it.

I managed the sleep disorders clinic Monday without touching anything but elevator buttons, at least with my hands. Part of that was keeping my phone in my hands. I had a little bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket and used it after the elevators. I don't like that particular kind (Purell) because it has some sort of added fragrance that makes my nose start running, but I used it anyway.

We tried to make some hand sanitizer at home, but we couldn't get the isopropyl alcohol and the aloe to mix and not separate. We've now got two bottles of mostly isopropyl alcohol with the vaguest hint of aloe and a layer of aloe on the bottom. We're shaking them before using them, but it's still like pouring slightly slimy water rather than anything close to a gel.

Possibly the aloe was simply too old. I'm pretty sure we bought it when I had the cellulitis in April 2018. Possibly the recipes were also assuming something less than 99% aloe for the one part aloe to two parts isopropyl alcohol. I used a whisk for about ten minutes, but the aloe stayed globbily particulate and kept sinking to the bottom.

At any rate, the isopropyl alcohol will kill things adequately. It's just harder to use as a liquid than it would be with a bit more viscosity. Scott's still looking for actual hand sanitizer. He has to go to work, and him having some with him is pretty important.

The sleep disorders clinic told me, after I arrived, that they're trying to shift to e-visits for things like my appointment. I'd have appreciated the option, but the timing was so tight between the changes in policy and when my appointment happened, that there was no way for me to know that it might be possible. Also, I think that, on Monday, Medicare still didn't cover e-visits.

The clinician explained that my inability to breathe during the first 20-30 minutes of putting on the cpap is due to the thing taking that long to 'ramp up.' It goes to half pressure immediately and then squats there while I get a headache from lack of air and can't move around in bed because I'll end up having to gasp for air. I'm fine once things are at full pressure. I'm fairly annoyed about this.

She said she'd change it remotely, but later sent me a portal message to say that she couldn't. I wasn't surprised since I've never set the machine up for remote access and have zero intention of doing so. I might be willing to give her temporary access during a pre-arranged time window, but I can't think of any reason at all why it would make sense to leave a gaping security hole like that constantly open, not for a medical device.

Scott's therapist and my psychiatrist are both offering remote appointments for the duration. The former may, possibly, be worthwhile, but I think the latter can be delayed. We haven't made any recent changes to my meds, and my prescriptions are current. I'm not having any side effects or any increased distress. (For some reason, the current fuss and bother isn't setting off my anxiety. I had issues last week with my need to get all of the preparation done, but at this point, that's all settled.)
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It's been a long month. I've written a few posts and then not gotten around to posting them. At this point, I'd have to edit so extensively that it doesn't seem worth my time to make an effort to get those to the point of being postable.

The disability review/appeal stuff )

Earlier this month, [personal profile] evalerie came over and provided help and moral support while Scott and I got everything out of the bathroom cupboards and I decided what to keep and what went where. I think we got rid of more than half of what was in there, possibly as much as 75% of it.

I now know where everything is in there, and our cleaning lady is no longer putting things I need in places I can't reach.

The eye related stuff )

Experimenting with workarounds for physical issues )

Scott's )

I'm a little frustrated because I have a very small window of time when I'm alone in the house and can work on things I find physically difficult or can easily watch DVDs or listen to CDs or audiobooks. (No, headphones, earbuds, etc. are not an option.) The watching and listening thing is not helped by the fact that the CD/DVD drive on my laptop has decided to die. Judging by how it sounds and what happens, I suspect a mechanical failure.

Computer stuff )

The bloodwork before my doctor's appointment last week shows that my A1c is up, so I'm going to have to work on that. Being able to go outside would help considerably. At this point, I can handle the bright light, but ice underfoot is still potentially an issue. I usually fall due to ice at least once each winter, and I would really rather avoid it if I can.

I have one exchange assignment still to complete. Chocolate Box 2020 is due on the 7th of February, and I've barely started writing. I have an unrevealed story in the Past Imperfect collection. I've also got a list of a dozen one shot WIP that I think I might be able to finish if I just give them a hard push for a few days. My current plan is to work on those rather than signing up for any other exchanges. I may take pinch hits or write treats, but I'd very much like to get these things done and posted.

I've gotten a couple of 'it's so sad this will never be finished' comments on Rheotaxis this month. It's made me look at it and wonder if I ever will go back to it. I know how it ends (I have a draft of a final chapter so I know where I'm aiming). I know what happens after. It's just been years since I worked on it. My style has changed a good bit, and I still don't know how to make that next chapter work.

I spent yesterday rereading an rp that [personal profile] hopeofdawn and I did years and years ago. It was a post-Rheotaxis thing, and I think it was a good story. We never finished it because the things we were interested in playing out diverged too much (I like writing claustrophobic discussion scenes, and she likes writing action scenes).

I'm a little tempted to see if I could pummel those chapters into something postable on AO3 or if Hope would be interested in working on it with me. I'm not sure it would work well because rp relies on the head hopping being okay. The scenes would lose a lot from being put into a single limited 3rd person POV, and I'm not good at putting that sort of thing into an omniscient 3rd. There are also gaps in the story that we left because they would have involved one person writing solo due to which characters each of us wrote.

I don't know if anyone would want to read that even if I did write it up. I don't know if I could come up with an ending that was even remotely satisfying.

I feel like there are a lot of interesting stories out there that don't end up archived because they're written as an rp narrative.
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We got the LTD stuff printed, signed, and mailed yesterday. It got complicated because of some incompatibility between the documents, the ancient version of Word we have, and our printer. I ended up having to C&P all of the documents into Pages in order to fix the problem.

Basically, it was all good until I edited the dates to replace the '__' my mother had put in for the day of the month. At that point, for reasons beyond my understanding all of the margins became ridiculous and unfixable. The printer kept informing me that some of the text was going to be off the edge of the page. I reset the margins to 1.0" on all sides, and the result still lost words off the edge on both sides of the page and off the bottom. When I let the printer set the margins, it went with a narrow column of text with 2.5" margins on the right and the left and 6.5" margins on the bottoms of the page. It looked ridiculous and turned 7 page document into a 20 page one.

My mother apparently wrote everything in Libre Office but saved it in Word format. The most recent version of Word on my laptop is 2015. I think the only thing I lost in the C&P was the page numbers, and that was mostly because I didn't think about adding them back in to the Pages version.

Scott took all of the signed documents to the post office and paid for fast delivery. I'm not sure if he went for next day or what.

We had a game session last night for Scott's Firefly game. I was feeling sufficiently better to be able to stay upright through the whole thing (knowing that bed wasn't far away helped because I could have gone to lie down any time I needed to). We really wanted to get a session in before Scott starts working 2nd shift. We discussed options for weekend sessions, but I don't see one of those happening before UCon.

We are hoping, though, to have some gatherings with parts of the group so that various members can review the board games they'll be running. I'm running a co-op board game with rules that can be adjusted in difficulty, and I need to remind myself of which rules apply at each level. I'm probably running it on Sunday, and I'm going to be brain fried, so review can only help.

Scott's running five or six board games. He doesn't need to review all of them, but he's got some supplementary material for Flashpoint that he hasn't tried before. He wants to get a feel for how that plays before the convention. I think at least one of the other games is a thing he's never had a chance to play.

I haven't started pulling together words for my UCon table top rpg scenarios. One of them is using characters and a setting that I used last year. I think that getting that one ready to go will be straightforward because it's mainly a matter of updating the characters to allow for in-game-world time having passed. I don't have a firm plot for it yet, but I think that updating the characters will give me one.

The other scenario will be harder because the characters are still squishy in my head and have a lot of details that I'd like to let the players decide. I have to decide how many factions I'll have (I have no idea how many players I'll get, so I'm going to have to be flexible). I think I need to start with a timeline for the backstory which is a real world alternate history going back about 300 years. I want to keep it close to our history, but having it completely unchanged for that long doesn't make sense when I'm throwing in a tiny and widely scattered population with inheritable superpowers. Most of them have been trying hard not to be noticed, but three centuries is a long time, and the widely scattered part means a lot of people making decisions in isolation.

I'm considering asking a couple of people if they'd be interested in a write-in this weekend as I think that might help me focus. Scott will be working on Saturday, and he and Cordelia will be doing a choir fundraiser most of Sunday (leaf raking with Scott driving). There are two people I can invite even on short notice who might be able to attend. If I get even one person, it would help me focus.

I'll invite our niece, too, but she's very busy with her school related stuff, so I don't expect she'd be able to attend. I wouldn't mind her coming and studying her AP whatever, but her driving down here to do it would waste an hour of her weekend.

Scott will be working from 1 to 7 today. It's vacation coverage. He and the other person who could be pulled in for the shift decided to split it rather than have either of them work the entire 12+ hours. The current plan is for Scott to get the house ready for me to give out candy this evening-- Our front steps are small enough that opening the screen door risks knocking people off, so he's going to slide up the middle panel of the door to let me hold the bowl out through the door. I'm not sure if he's going to do a jack o'lantern or not.

My hopes for the morning involve him cleaning off the blades of the fan in our bedroom and changing our sheets. I don't trust myself to stand on the bed for the fan cleaning, and right before washing the sheets is the best time for dumping a lot of dust on them. There's no way to clean the fan that won't put dust on half our bed. Sheets that are about to be washed make a reasonable drop cloth.

I should have called Cordelia's best friend last night. Her parents have left the country for a funeral, and she and her brother are alone in their apartment. They're both responsible kids, and I trust them, but I'm the adult who's on call if they need something. I need to check in to be sure that they don't have anything that seems too trivial for calling/emailing me but that's actually an easy fix.

I think I'm also on call in case the parents are delayed in coming back to the US. They're both naturalized US citizen, but they've gone to Pakistan and look like Pakistani Muslims (because that's their family background). I don't know how aware the kids are of that as a risk, but I'm worried about it.

Today's to-do list:
Insurance claim forms
Dishes
Removal of blankets and pillows from bed
Fan cleaning
Removal and washing of dirty sheets
Putting clean sheets on the bed and putting the blankets and pillows back
Moving things out of the cleaning lady's way so that she can get at the floors
Finding a missing form that I need to turn in on Monday
Make two phone calls
Depending on what I get from one of those, possibly go and get flu shots
Have Scott schedule a dental appointment
Have Cordelia schedule a dental appointment
the_rck: (Default)
I'm having problems with dizziness/vertigo this weekend. I can tell that it's a problem with my ears. If I apply pressure in the right ways, things start to drain, but I can't keep that up. An electric heating pad works better, and I seem to get about half an hour after prolonged application when I can walk around without feeling like I need to lean on the wall.

I'm having some luck with mucinex today. I'm hoping that that will be enough to make doing necessary things this week more feasible. It's not just my balance that's off. I'm muddling dates and words and forgetting things that I considered five minutes before.

I need to figure out some schedule related things for tomorrow. Scott will likely be working 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Cordelia has a choir rehearsal that might run late enough that getting the city bus home will be difficult but by no means late enough that her father picking her up will work.

My mother will arrive at some unspecified time, possibly early enough to help, possibly not. She doesn't know that I've been sick, so I need to explain that part.

I'm not sure if I'll do Yuletide this year. I have no enthusiasm for it at the moment. I've also got two stories to edit, one to write (for my Fandom Trumps Hate auction winner), and two game scenarios to write for UCon. Right at the moment, I don't want to do any of it because I can't track things correctly. I'm worried that I'll build in contradictions/weird logic errors without noticing that I'm doing it.

For the moment, I'm listening to audiobooks and looking at how far behind I've fallen on my book logging. I don't know that I'll remember the books after or actually do anything about the logging, but... It's almost like doing something.

On the semi-plus side, the prednisone has made my hands hurt less. I'm trying to enjoy that while it lasts. The tremor has been bad, though, bad enough that texting takes three times as long as it should and that I can't use Chrome on my phone. My fingers move in ways that the interface interprets as commands.
the_rck: (Default)
I have access to Scanner [Redacted] again. Apparently there was some sort of unannounced 'maintenance downtime.' During the period when Scanner [Redacted] was down, the App Store rating for Ingress Prime dropped a full point. At least one other reviewer complained about the accessibility barriers in Prime.

At any rate, I'm wondering if there are any other games out there that have the features I need without the features that make Ingress Prime inaccessible. Other Niantic games are less accessible to me than Ingress Prime is, so I'm not heading that way. I really can't.

The appeal of Ingress for me, to begin with, was that I could treat it like, say, Animal Crossing but with walking. If I got something done, great. If I didn't, nothing bad happened. I might end up repeating things, but it was like picking fruit or fishing in Animal Crossing-- There'll be something available later, and the repetition is part of the soothingness.

Possibly, I've been using a food processor as a blender. Niantic might be trying to optimize for food processor users.

The team aspect is nice because I like having at least the potential for social interaction around it and for cooperation, but I don't actually care about the competitive side. If there was more emphasis on the competition, I would never have kept playing.

(This is not to say that other people don't focus on the competitive aspect. Some do. Some really like the global, two team thing with 'our team' and 'their team' and score tracking.)

Scott's currently looking at the App Store to see if there are alternatives to Ingress. I tried and got frustrated. My criteria don't translate into easy search terms because they're mostly negatives. I can probably manage to translate them eventually; it's just beyond me at the moment.
the_rck: (Default)
I've been sick for the last 2-3 days. I thought it was an IBS flare, but at this point, I'm pretty sure that it's not. I've eaten very little in the last 36 hours, and it's been all simple carbohydrates. I skipped my coffee this morning because I knew that I couldn't handle either the half and half or the coffee. I had caffeinated tea with honey. I think that was too much, but I really didn't want to do without caffeine completely.

We have a family thing tomorrow, but I don't know if I'll be going. It's our BIL's birthday, and Scott's sister has asked us to bring our own food because she doesn't expect anything to be ready within my time window for eating and because the main course won't be safe for Scott.

We had the power go in and out about three times last night. The longest outage was about five minutes, long enough for me to decide to bring up the DTE website on my phone but not long enough for me to report the outage.

The last few days, I keep thinking that I could work on specific tasks and then not managing to focus enough to get beyond intention into progress.

Venting about Ingress Prime )
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I did not manage to get myself to bed before Scott and Cordelia got home last night, but Scott didn't set his alarm, so we all got about six hours of sleep instead of the five and a half I was expecting. (Not that I wasn't exhausted. I was. I very much was.) I tried to nap through part of the morning but don't think I actually slept.

Scott had scheduled a vacation day, and he and I went to the Northside Grill for lunch. Then we dealt with some paperwork. Scott went to the store to pick up some things that we'd forgotten on Saturday. After that, he mowed the lawn. I emptied and filled the dishwasher and am currently working on laundry.

I also did some research on the two hotels next to the one where the FanWorks Con will be. Both of them look safe with regard to pets, but I'm feeling overwhelmed at the idea of committing to going because, the more I look at it, the more I realize that it's only really feasible if I drag somebody else along.

I can get to the hotel unaided. I just can't get to the hotel with everything I'll need for three days unaided. If I didn't need to consider food, I could get there, but my dietary restrictions really do mean that I will need to assume that I can't get food, once I'm on-site, without access to a vehicle.

Our niece might be interested in going, and she can drive, but I don't know that she could afford to pay for anything. I can think of a couple of local people who might be interested, but asking just feels like more of a hassle than just not dealing with it.

I can't tell where the edges are of me not being able to deal with x, y, and z right this moment versus me biting off more than future-me will be able to chew. Over the last two decades, my life has contracted gradually but pretty steadily. A lot of it has to do with me only being able to do so much, and I've spent the last several months teetering in a gray area. I can't tell if I'm actually less able to do things or just worried that I'm less able and so restricting myself.

Misjudging that line-- I want to be able to do All the Things, but, if I misjudge, then I can't do any of the things. I'm hobbling a bit today because my calf muscles are cramping from all the walking I did yesterday. I knew that that might be a consequence when I went out walking yesterday, and I looked at today's must-do list and decided that it would be okay if I couldn't do most of it.

I'd have been in deep trouble if something necessary had come up yesterday evening or today, anything that required more than my body could manage. (What my body can manage limits what my mind can manage more definitely than the other way around.) And I wasn't able to prepare dinner yesterday as I'd planned because I misjudged.

At any rate, my social connections have been suffering because of this. I've always been bad at answering emails/comments promptly, but it's gotten worse. I will kind of drop those things for a while and then not want to deal with trying to catch up. I will simply not start conversations or not go to specific sites where I would normally interact or even semi-interact (here, for example, or FB. I really need to go back to FB because there's a friend who likes to chat there, and I've just been pretending the site doesn't exist).

Maybe I need to schedule things with a timer and make myself deal with this stuff for, say, fifteen minutes at a time, a couple of times a day? I know that that sort of scheduling can work for me, but I don't do it often. I'm not sure why.

Well, no, I do know why. Once I establish a routine like that, I'll be very upset with myself if I need a nap or have to deal with something else I haven't planned for. Brains are tangled things.
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I'm still fighting with my Wayback story. It keeps wanting to skitter sideways into worldbuilding and introspection in order to avoid scenes and details that are necessary-- description, mostly, and my POV character's reactions to all of the things I ought to describe. Right now, I'm trying to write the plot thru-line to the end so that I don't keep stopping dead over the description. I'll go back and spackle over those holes after I have the frame complete.

I need to get a bus draft of this one because, as long as I don't have one, I'm probably going to get daily migraines. They'll be largely menstrual, but the stress of an unfinished project with a looming due date tips things over.

Scott asked last night if the fans in my laptop were running. I told him that, so far as I knew I didn't have any and hadn't had in my previous machine. I'd never once heard them. He found a program that would let me manipulate the fan speed and that tells me the temperature of various components in degrees C. Setting the left fan to about 2/3 of its maximum speed is helping with the overheating. I haven't fiddled as much with the right fan yet because I want to see what the left fan does to my battery life.

I can actually hear the fan now. I couldn't before. The program says that the range for the fans is 2000-6200 RPM. Running on auto, the fans were running at 2000, plus or minus 5, and a lot of components in the laptop were worryingly warm.

I know I had a bunch of things I wanted to mention, but they've all decided to wander. Scott and Cordelia have been gone for an hour. I'm going to see if I can sleep a little more.
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There was no school Tuesday due to freezing rain and no school Wednesday due to more snow on top of that. Cordelia and I managed to get most of the ice off of the main sidewalk on Tuesday because it was all at that point when the temperature is hovering right at freezing. We had rain coming down sometimes, and sleet at others.

The ice on the sidewalk was sufficiently porous that I could use a normal, flat-edged shovel to break it up. Cordelia had the snow shovel and couldn't make much headway because the shovel's not up to dealing with ice. I'd have put out ice melt, but the rain would have carried it away. We only had a fraction of a bag, and I thought we'd better save it for a point when it might actually work.

I had to go out for an appointment yesterday, and it was nasty enough that I didn't want to go down the hill to catch the direct bus to campus. Instead, I went downtown and transferred. Everything was slow and late, to the point that the trip took me twice as long as it would under normal circumstances (even with the extra time for going downtown and transferring).

My doctor's pleased by my general test results. My total cholesterol is a trifle higher than it ought to be, but the ratio of HDL to LDL is good. We're going to test again in six months. My A1c and triglycerides are down just a bit. I got my DTaP booster while I was there. I'd expected to have to make another trip for that, but they were able to do it with under a ten minute wait.

I didn't want to deal with the hill on the way home, either, and the timing was off for the stops that I'd normally have aimed for. The wind was bad enough that I didn't want to stand for longer than 5 minutes. I ended up taking 20-25 minutes to walk to the downtown bus station. I still had a wait there, but the station was open, and if it hadn't been, the library is a block away and across the street.

(There was a big warning on the bus website that they were planning to do emergency preparedness drills this week and that that might result in the station being closed but wouldn't affect bus service.)

My water bottle came open in my bag while I was on my way to my appointment, so my phone charger is now in a baggie with uncooked rice. I also may need to pay for the library book that was in there. It didn't get very wet and only got wet in two spots, so I've got it under two big books and an 8 pound weight to see if it flattens. I'm not entirely optimistic, though, because I'm almost certain that the bits that did get wet then froze.

The wet charger meant that I didn't play Ingress after the appointment. I really didn't want to be out in that weather with my phone dead. Circumstances that would have made a working phone necessary were extremely unlikely, but I thought that Scott and Cordelia might worry if my phone suddenly vanished from Life360.

Scott took Cordelia and one of her friends to a showing of Totoro last night. The general consensus seems to be that they prefer the dub that they grew up with rather than the subtitled version with the original voice actors. Also, Cordelia's friend just finished reading Howl's Moving Castle and much prefers the movie (which I take as supporting the idea that the movie's not a bad movie but rather a bad adaptation.

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