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I slept badly again last night. It was really hard to relax and fall asleep. If I lie on either side, my left elbow hurts enough to wake me. If I lie on my back, the strap for my c-PAP headgear slides upward until the nose piece is no longer actually over my nose which also wakes me. I got up when Scott went to bed, even though I was tired enough to need more sleep, because Cordelia was already up.

Things with Scott's work schedule are a bit up in the air. They source their raw materials in Texas and so have a supply bottleneck even though they're facing both their busiest time of year due to special orders for cider season and an unusually high demand for the things they make all year. This worries me that they'll only give Scott one day to transition back to day shift by making him work next Saturday night into Sunday morning and then expecting him to start back on first shift at 6:15 Monday morning. It all depends on whether or not the supplies come in and how much of a backlog of orders they have then.

We ended up going to Dairy Queen last night because Cordelia said she really wanted a hot fudge sundae. Seeing what she ended up with, I'd never have called it a 'hot fudge' sundae because the topping was very, very runny. She commented, after eating it, that she really should have thought about the fact that she's not currently all that into chocolate. Her other idea had been an expedition to Novi to the Cheesecake Factory there, but it was 8:00 by the time we were ready to go anywhere at all. Dairy Queen was cheaper and closer.

I'm still working on characters for my game at UCon. I'll be running it from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Saturday, and I worry a little that a home rules game won't draw players in that time slot (I was worried about that in any time slot, quite frankly), but I suppose that people who like my games will still see that the game exists. I'm willing to run with just two people. Scott will be running something during that game slot, so I can't ask him to make up numbers.

I have notes, some sketchy and some not so much so, and names for seven characters. It's my intention to write them so that they can be played male, female, or anything else as the player prefers. I did that for my Amber game last UCon, and one of the players decided their character used they/them pronouns. I don't intend to make sex/gender integral to the plot in any way unless the player characters chase after it.

Looking at the online UCon game book section for RPGs is kind of fascinating. There's no character limit for the online listings, and some people post a wall of text while other people say little more there than what will fit in the printed version. It would be interesting to see which of these attract more players or if they simply attract different players. I haven't seen much yet that makes me want to play anything, but many games are better than their blurbs.

I'll be running Sentinels of the Multiverse on Friday morning, so all my GMing will be done by 1 p.m. on Saturday. Sentinels is much less work in the preparation stage. Mainly, I need to pick a villain and a setting and test the combination so that I know what bits of each are likely to kill the superheroes. I may, based on that, offer a limited selection of heroes rather than letting anyone choose any hero at all, but I also may not because that's more work. It's just that there are some heroes who can't function at all against certain villains.
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I managed to get myself signed up to run events at UCon. A two hour Sentinels of the Multiverse game and a four hour rpg. The rpg plot is still very squishy in my head. I know where and how it starts, and I've got character ideas, but I still have to hammer out details.

I'm also waiting to hear from Cordelia how going to Skyline just for choir has worked. There was some stress about because the choir teacher never responded yesterday. That left Cordelia going to Skyline without a clear idea of what would happen. I don't know, at this point, if she'll be getting a ride in with someone or if she'll be rushing to catch the bus. I promised her that, if she misses the bus, I'll call Community to let them know that she'll be late.

After she gets to Community for the day, I'm probably going to try to nap. I have to meet Cordelia downtown after school's over. She has a 4:15 appointment down that way.

I woke this morning with a headache. Sugar and caffeine killed it, but it was fairly nasty before that. I'm pretty sure it's fallout from me not sleeping much Monday night and from me walking too far yesterday. (Cordelia's comment was, "Mom, you know that never ends well.")

My appointment at the sleep disorders clinic went pretty well. I saw a doctor rather than the PA I was expecting. I really have lost track of who I'm supposed to be seeing there. The doctor was pleased by my numbers as recorded by the c-PAP. I'm having a lot of 'episodes' during the period while I'm wearing the gear but not yet asleep. If I get up after an hour of being awake, the machine generally says I've had between 7 and 10 episodes in that time. By the next morning, it will give me an average between 1 and 2.5, depending on how long I used it and getting lower the longer I did, so I'm assuming that most of those are while I'm still awake with pretty much nothing while I'm sleeping. The doctor seemed to think that was the case too (the card recorded me having many events clustered early and then nothing much later, so).

The current mask/headgear is much better than the nasal pillows except for one thing. The strap around the back of my head that anchors everything won't stay. When I'm asleep, it gradually migrates up so that everything else starts to fall off. I have to manage to wake enough to move the strap back to where it's supposed to be. I will call Medequip and ask about it, but the doctor thought that they wouldn't have a solution. Her suggestion was a hat of some sort to provide more friction. Clips in my hair aren't an option because those will slide right out.

I took a cab to the appointment because I was just that tired. I had to take the bus home because the cab company said it would be an hour and a half, minimum. I was too tired to climb the hill from that bus route, so I went downtown to catch the bus that stops at the top of the hill. I ended up with at fifteen minute wait downtown. Cordelia was kind of worried that I wasn't home when she got there even though I texted her about it.
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I used a half tablet of Halcion last night and don't feel hungover/groggy today. I'm not sure that it helped me sleep, though, so it may be a tradeoff. I'll try a whole tablet tonight and see how that goes given that I should be able to sleep myself out tomorrow. The whole tablet Thursday night did help me sleep, so I'd like to know if the fatigue on Friday was from the Halcion or just from it being the end of a trying week with less sleep than I actually need.

Scott and I are poking at Steam to see if there are games there that Cordelia might like (and be willing to have us know that she's playing). He's used Steam for a while, and I never have. I'm frustrated because I can't get the searching interface to do what I think it ought to, because I can't make it cough up a complete list of searchable tags or categories. I'm also not seeing any sort of label that indicates a target age range or levels of gore, sex, profanity, etc. Cordelia says she doesn't want any of those things, so sorting in a way to eliminate them would be beyond helpful.

I don't think this entirely me because Scott was having trouble with it last night. It may just be that neither of us know the code words that would tell us what's what. He mostly does combat stuff, board/card games, and the like. Things Cordelia's decidedly not interested in.

Scott and I are thinking that Cordelia might like something in the vein of a visual novel. Assuming we can find one that has a female protagonist, no graphic sex or violence or horror elements, and isn't romance/dating focused. Cordelia has informed me that she's not interested in hidden object games (I tried to sell her on the Dark Parables series which I enjoyed and which otherwise fit what she seems to want-- no time pressure, no risk of losing due to making a mistake, no reflex tests or need for eye-hand coordination, no gore, no explicit sex, no swearing, etc.)

I'm not sure whether Cordelia's really not interested in having any romance or just isn't interested in us knowing that she is.

Scott is trying desperately to get his payment information changed in a dozen different places where he'd pay monthly bills via Discover (his card number was used for Lyft several times last Saturday while he was at work so new number). Verizon has locked him out because he couldn't answer a security question that he's absolutely and utterly certain that he wouldn't have chosen because it's something that he doesn't have an accurate answer for (What was his first school). I think he got Netflix and Hulu updated. Discover very kindly sent him a list of places he's been making regular payments to. Verizon's just being unpleasant.

We were a bit freaked when the new card arrived because the front was blank apart from the Discover name and logo. They're now printing the number and name and expiration on the back and not bothering with raised type. We were sure, at first, that they'd just sent a completely blank card. Why on earth put the information on the back? I can't imagine that's actually more secure since turning the card over is beyond easy.
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I walked in a different direction after parting from Cordelia at the crosswalk today. There are only half as many portals along the route I took, but I can do all of them from the sidewalk rather than tramping through dew soaked grass. Also, I wanted to place some resonators and, if I could, some mods. Only one of the portals had mod spots open, so I didn't get much out of it in that direction. I need to place 38 more mods to get my silver badge.

We had people over for Scott's Firefly RPG last night. I wasn't able to play for various reasons.

Cordelia and I almost got through the fourth Buffy episode today. We watched all of the third and then had to leave before the final fight in the fourth.

I have two things I really want to do today that I think shouldn't take long. Except that I'm still dithering about what scenario to do for UCon. Part of me still thinks that I can just show up, hand out characters, and make stuff up as I go. That's not how one shot games work. I need to have a general shape in mind for the story, with ideas for different paths to an ending. The players are pretty certain not to take any of the paths I expect, but having those in mind means having some things already in motion that I can toss at the player characters.

Scott ordered some books that he wanted sent to our six year old niece in Seattle. They ended up here, and sending them back to Amazon for reshipping costs more than half the value of the books (they're paperback early reader chapter books-- Magic Kitten series). This means a trip to the post office some time soon. I have some other things I'd like to mail at the same time, so that will work well.

I think it's actually sort of a pity that this book doesn't contain instructions for how to make the items it contains pictures of. It's a book of wearable fiber crafts photos. I'm not convinced I'd want to wear any of the things in the blog post talking about the book, but they're kind of fascinating to look at. The book's from 1976, but the blog post is current (the blog focuses on looking at old library books that don't belong in the collections where they were found).
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I'm trying to nail down my ideas for the tabletop RPG that I'm going to run at UCon. I've been tired enough to stall on the second most basic thing (after system. I'm doing a home rules game). I have a scenario trigger idea but no details, and that trigger event can fit into any of the following genres. I just don't have a strong enough preference.

I'm mostly doing a poll because I'm too lazy to go find a dice program to replace the one that I had that stopped working two OS updates back. Doing seven options on a physical die is a PITA, so I'm not going there (especially not when I have two d10 and a d12 handy. Anything else will require searching for my dice bag).

Poll #18744 Scenario Genre for UCon
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 8


Which genre should I use for my UCon RPG scenario?

View Answers

Fantasy
2 (25.0%)

Horror
0 (0.0%)

SF
0 (0.0%)

Fantasy & Horror blend
2 (25.0%)

Fantasy & SF blend
1 (12.5%)

Horror & SF blend
2 (25.0%)

Fantasy, horror, & SF blend
1 (12.5%)

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I wore myself out completely yesterday, what with dealing with spraying Cordelia's clothes and sorting the crap from the basement. I had to ask Scott to go get me a Wendy's burger in order to be able to think and to stave off a headache that was heading migraine-wards. Two loads of laundry got done, too, but Scott and Cordelia did parts of that.

Scott went out to the Games Library Day in Ypsilanti. I had to ask him to leave early because I used up all of the anti-tick spray for Cordelia's clothing before I got the sweatshirt and the single pair of long pants she's taking. I got all of the t-shirts and shorts.

I started sneezing last night around 9 p.m. and haven't really stopped. I wasn't able to use the c-PAP because of it. I've got the AC cranked just in case it's a ragweed thing (which it might be because it's been cool enough recently for the AC not to run).

We have the meeting for Cordelia's camp orientation tonight at 6:00. I hope there will be signs because telling us to meet 'in the choir room' isn't actually much help with a building that size that none of us know. Cordelia and I have been searching desperately for a set of dress shoes that fit her. We have a single shoe from two different sets (one of which she swears had both shoes in her suitcase two days ago). The second available shoe is navy instead of the required black but will probably pass well enough if I can find the other.

I got a germ of an idea for my UCon game scenario last night, but I'm not sure yet what direction to take it. I'm going to call it a 'home rules' system, though, probably with a note that I'll be mostly using percentile dice.

I have my Darkest Night assignment. I'm going to have to think about it for a little while. I'm confident I can write the fandom and make it dark. I'm just not sure I can use more than one of the freeforms (this is a request that came in after I signed up and that I was sufficiently comfortable with not to run to change my sign up. If it had been there before, I might have tried to avoid it, but I also might not have). Strictly speaking, I only have to use one freeform, but... I like to do better than that.

Given that my Captive Audience story is stalled, I'll be focusing on getting that moving again before I do anything else. I was right that I did almost no writing last week while Scott was home. I think it came to 700 words, all on Saturday right at bedtime.
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I didn't write anything yesterday, just let ideas roll around in the back of my mind. Instead, I inventoried our canned goods cupboard and had Scott help me inventory the upstairs freezer. He had been trying to tell me that we had no frozen green beans upstairs, but we came up with four bags (and there are two in the basement freezer). I think the hard part will be getting Cordelia to update the inventory lists when she takes things out.

I threw out a number of things from the cupboard where we keep the cans. The cookie mix we bought back when Cordelia was two might conceivably still have been edible, but I rather suspect that the ingredients had gone off. It didn't seem worth holding onto it given that I've looked at it regularly over the years and constantly decided that I wasn't up to making cookies. I can't physically handle more than a single cookie sheet going in and out once.

I haven't decided whether to try to keep track of the contents of the fridge or of any of the other cupboards, but I might weed our herbs and spices. We have some still unopened bottles of various things from the spice rack a friend gave us as a wedding present twenty four years ago. If we haven't opened them in that time, we're not going to, and most likely they're not very flavorful any more.

I slept kind of poorly last night. I was in bed about seven and a half hours, but I'm not sure how much I slept. I'm feeling really kind of groggy now in spite of food and caffeine, but the headache I woke with has mostly receded. I got up this morning when Scott went to bed because that pretty thoroughly woke me.

Our friend, [livejournal.com profile] cherydactyl, came over for a few hours yesterday. We played and won a game of Forbidden Desert. Neither she nor I had played before. Scott had played once and so knew a couple of pitfalls that we needed to avoid to survive. After that, we hung out and talked for a while.

Both hands and my left elbow were hurting a lot most of yesterday. I think that the hands started up because I read a couple of volumes of manga. Those aren't heavy, but apparently my hands don't like even something that light. All of the reading stands I've seen online are either flimsy or horribly expensive. Because I do most of my reading in the living room, I either need a floor stand or have to keep moving my laptop (not sure to where) in order to put the stand on my table. Laying the book on the couch next to me and looking down at it to read tends to hurt my back and neck, so I'd rather not do that or a pillow on my lap.

My elbow may have also reacted to the reading, but I suspect that moving all of the cans out of the cupboard and then back in had an impact. I also vacuumed and washed the shelves. Those are down on the floor, so at least I wasn't reaching up.

I'm looking at signing up for [community profile] darkestnightex this year. I didn't last year but did a pinch hit for it. I'm mainly hesitating right now because I can only see one request, so far, that I'd be happy to write. Everything else, even in fandoms I'd normally consider, is stuff I'd go out of my way to avoid matching on. It's mostly a case of not being able to wrap my head comfortably around the requested freeforms in combination with the requested characters/pairings. Even if I could write all of the requests for fandoms I'm comfortable with, I think there'd only be half a dozen possible matches. Of course, sign ups haven't been open for quite two days yet and run through the 11th. Other options may turn up, so I'm putting some time into coming up with my requests. The freeforms are particularly challenging for me.
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I actually slept soundly last night and got about nine hours of sleep, including four and a half with the c-PAP. I remembered the Ativan this time, and it helped. I still woke exhausted and with a headache, but caffeine and food have killed the headache, at least.

Scott's going to be dragging today because he got an hour less sleep than usual. Cordelia and her friends went to a movie at Top of the Park last night, and he had to go and bring her home after. Since it's an outdoor venue, they don't start the movies until around 10 p.m., so they never get done before 11:30 and often finish later than that.

Last night's movie was Beetlejuice, so it was only a bit more than an hour and a half. Cordelia merely labeled the movie as 'okay,' but she said they all stayed put to watch. When they went to see Say Anything, the whole group of them got up and wandered away together because they were bored.

I wrote a bit over 1300 words yesterday. I think that, bar editing, that particular story might be done. I have a paragraph written that should happen a long time after what is now the main story, and I'll probably have to axe that because it doesn't fit at all unless I'm doing a second chapter. I'd intended to write the story set at that point with minor excursions into the backstory, but the backstory proved more interesting. Oh, well. The backstory fits the prompt equally well.

I haven't added up my word total for the month yet because I expect to write more today. I'm hoping I can finish and post, today, two treats for an exchange I didn't sign up for. Then, I'll look for beta readers for them, but I'm not going to worry too much about it. There are three offers on the DW posts for betas for the exchange who might do one but only one person who might do the other. Stories are due on the 3rd, and I'm not sure how long between the due date and the reveal. I'm sure I could find out, but I don't feel like digging for it just now.

I'm also hoping to start two stories for [community profile] pod_together today. I have three prompts to consider for one and a rather large list of fandoms to consider for the other. I probably ought to wait to hear back from the people I'm working with, but I really do need to start getting words out.

UCon is asking for GMs now. I want to run something; I'm just not sure what. Likely, I'll run Sentinels of the Multiverse again and then some sort of four hour RPG. Amber would be fairly easy, I think. I could even use the characters I made for last year's game, just with a completely unconnected scenario so that new players wouldn't be at a disadvantage relative to anyone who played last year.

It would save me having to pick another rules system and work out how to run the most recent version of it. Pretty much everything I've run before has gone through at least one additional edition since I last ran with it. Also, my tendency with rules systems is to use them as minimally as I can get away with and just use the dice for-- How to put it? It's not added flavor. It's the chance that something might go spectacularly right or wrong.

I'm just not sure if people will sign up for a game when I say, "I designed the characters in GURPS, but dice won't really matter much in the actual game."
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Cordelia's appointment went fine yesterday. Scott was running late, so Cordelia and I ended up waiting about half an hour after the appointment for him to pick us up. Since we were there already, I made an appointment for Cordelia's physical. The logistics of that were challenging because it has to be August 4th or after due to insurance requirements. We need it to be before school starts, too, because the logistics of me retrieving Cordelia from Skyline are... difficult. August is the month when Cordelia's most busy, too. I wanted to get her in before camp, but that didn't work. We also won't be seeing her usual doctor. Cordelia said she didn't care about that.

We played Scott's Firefly game last night. I was beyond groggy and just really couldn't manage to engage. I ended up trying to write on my phone. I say 'trying' because Gdocs was so incredibly slow that I got frustrated. It could take twenty seconds to get a single word in.

I tried the c-PAP for about an hour and a half last night but didn't manage to fall asleep in spite of being exhausted. I ended up taking it off because my nose was hurting a lot. I think I forgot to take an Ativan the way I should have. Sadly, I didn't sleep at all well after that. I feel like I didn't sleep at all, but I think I dreamed-- bits and pieces about out of date phone numbers that I had to figure out in order to find a comfortable position to sleep in and to actually sleep. Right now, my plan is to get the things I absolutely have to do done and then go back to bed.

The cleaning lady comes this afternoon, but I really don't think I'll make it through that. I'll write a check for her and leave a note explaining that I'm trying to sleep. Cordelia has training for volunteering at the food bank this afternoon from 1:00 to 3:00. After that, she plans to go to the downtown library and, maybe, get some food downtown. I'll have to explain tipping to her, just in case she goes somewhere where that's appropriate. She and her friends plan to do a movie night tonight.

I have one story I want to finish by the 3rd (it's a treat, so it's not absolutely a drop dead date) and two stories I need to start. The latter two, I still have to decide what I'm going to write. They're both due much sooner than I expected, so I'm a bit stressed over them. I don't usually get those dates wrong. There's another treat I started that I think I'm abandoning because I've been stuck for several days. If I was juggling fewer stories, I'd probably keep at it, but I need those brain cells for other things right now.

Fortunately, my allergies seem to have subsided for now. I feel like I should knock wood when I say that.
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Scott and I had a discussion last night about tabletop RPG rule systems that was both extremely frustrating and fairly enlightening. The first thing that became clear was that we had very, very different definitions of 'simple' and 'flexible' when it comes to rules systems. I don't think either of us are necessarily wrong

He adores FATE and Cortex Plus while I look at them and shudder. I prefer some sort of percentile system or GURPS that's very, very, very light on the rules/dice or, if I can get it, something diceless. I once played a game where we traded off GMs every hour, and each GM had a preferred dice system, so we changed that regularly, too, even though we had continuous plot and characters.

I think the basic problem is that he considers the rules and the manipulation of the rules to be an interesting part of the game, a way of simulating character problem solving efforts. I don't. I compared it to min-maxing during character creation. I find it mechanical rather than creative and an active impediment to the parts of the game that I'm actually interested in.

I want dice/rules to be an added factor that can make the story go in an unexpected direction from time to time. He wants dice/rules to be tools that both players and GM use shape the story into their preferred lines.

It took me a lot of effort to get Scott to understand what I was trying to say.

Scott thinks that my preferred style of play only works with long established trust between players and GM and that it's really easy to screw up. He's probably right. I'm more on the improv/collaborative writing end of things. Whatever results the dice give, the point is to come up with a cool and compelling story that everyone present is into. I know that he can run games for a lot of players who I can't really manage because I have trouble with players who aren't enthusiastic about story in the ways that I am.

For Scott, a game is flexible if the rules will allow players to put together problem solving approaches based on how the rules work, a very engineering approach. For me, it's flexible if it allows a wide range of settings, genres, character types, etc. without insisting on divisions that hem the story in.

Explaining what we each mean by 'simple' is harder and not something I'm prepared to tackle just now because my brain is turning to goo.
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I have phone calls I need to make today, and I don't want to deal with them. I also desperately want a nap and know that, even if I lie down, I'm unlikely to sleep.

At least, my mother called me back (I left her a message last night). She and my step-father can't come to Cordelia's concert after all but do plan to come to 8th grade graduation. I had thought that 9 a.m. would be too early given the two hour drive, but Mom says that that's much easier than trying to drive home at night. Also, they have contractors working on urgent house repairs, and the contractors will only work if someone's at home.

One of my phone calls, I need to make around 3 p.m. as I'm calling a high school teacher, the choir director, to talk about choir camp this summer. The other call, I can make any time, but it's also not urgent urgent, so it's hard to make myself do it. That second call is to schedule a tune up for our air conditioner. I really hate to spend the money on it, but getting it done will keep the dratted thing running for longer.

We had a session of Scott's new Firefly game last night. I think I'm going to loathe the system because my preference is for rules that require no decisions on my part and that I don't have to think about or use very much. That's my preference when I'm GM, too. No matter what I'm running, I run rules lite. People who've done a lot of table top gaming tend to boggle when I say that GURPS is my preferred system but that I run rules lite. GURPS is the most flexible system I've seen for character creation/setting creation/genre bending. I'm just not prone to deal with the picky rules in play. I've got a general feel for what different dice rolls mean relative to the numbers on the character sheet, but I'm guided more by interesting story than by the dice. I don't ignore the dice altogether, but I can go a session without asking anybody to roll anything.

I think that what I want is a weird hybrid of GURPS, Amber Diceless, and some form of percentile system.

I have an appointment at the sleep disorders clinic tomorrow. They called me yesterday in response to my patient portal email. I'm not sure what they're going to be able to offer me. The main thing the woman I talked to thought was that I need anti-anxiety medication. Yeah, I do. I've only been trying to find something that works, long term, since 1987. The only things I've found that work are controlled substances, and I'm not willing to take those every night even if some doctor was fool enough to prescribe them that way.

I'm so frustrated by this health crap. I can get plenty of lectures about potential long term problems but no discussion that everything they tell me to do about those is killing me right at the current moment. When I'm drowning, I'm not going to worry about the risk of sepsis from splinters from the bits of wood currently keeping me afloat.

I'm kind of irritated with the lecture series I'm currently watching. The title of the series is 'The Other Side of History: Daily Life in the Ancient World.' Apparently, the only places that existed in the ancient world were Egypt, Rome, Greece, Britain, and certain other small bits of Europe. Eleven episodes out of forty eight focus on Greece. Six focus on Egypt, and one of those is on Hellenistic Egypt. Thirteen episodes focus on Rome and territories under Roman control. The date on the box is 2012.

Cordelia's friend with the concussion was back at school yesterday. She's still having some headache issues and is taking things very easy. I don't know if she'll be at the concert tonight or not. Her father is becoming a US citizen today (her mother did a few years ago, and both kids were born in the US), and that, naturally, is a higher priority for her limited energy than the concert.
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I'm glad we went to the viewing. We hadn't seen Mary and her husband (also named Scott) for quite a long time. Mary shared a house with Scott and his brother during college, and her husband moved into that house when my Scott moved out.

We spent most of our time talking to a third college friend, Jim, who also lived in that house and who is Mary's cousin. Jim's kind of responsible for me and Scott meeting in the first place. We mostly talked games. He's been playing that Pandemic version that can only be played once but that takes a couple dozen longish sessions to get through. He says it's a lot of fun and very difficult to master. He compared the monetary investment to buying a videogame that one only expects to play once or twice. He also commented that he's pretty sure that the reason his tabletop RPG group is stable is that none of them have kids. Which makes sense.

We picked up dinner at Plum Market on our way home. Scott got a salad and some mac 'n' cheese. We got some sushi for Cordelia and seem to have chosen well enough for her to eat it all. I got an assortment from the hot buffet. Most of it was just barely okay. There's one dish that I took a small amount of that turned out to be really, really good, but I was worried that it might have hidden dangers for me or even just have flavor I didn't like. If I'd been able to sample it first, I'd probably have taken just that and the steamed vegetables.

Scott is expecting to have to work late tonight, so he stopped at the center and cancelled Cordelia's PT appointment for this evening. The last time she was in, the therapist said that she might be ready to be discharged, so the hope is that we won't need to make up the appointment. I did mention that it was feasible for me to get her there and home again, but Scott wasn't keen on that.

I see my primary care doctor on Thursday. I need to make a list of things to talk to her about. I suspect that my difficulties sleeping will end up high on the list. Those are at least 50% scheduling (family obligations, medications, meals and reflux, Scott and Cordelia needing to be able to do things that are mildly noisy but enough to keep me awake) issues, but there's a good chunk that relates to the c-PAP and even more that relates to anxiety and to other physical issues.

Talking about sleep and schedules for my own benefit )

I just looked at the list of WIP that I used to follow on FFnet and discovered that I haven't checked on any of them in almost five years. I didn't realize it had been that long since I was reading fic regularly enough to keep going with that. I didn't have a FFnet account at that point, so I just kept an offline list with the url of the most recent chapter and the date of the last update. After two or three years of no updates, I'd gradually stop checking (unless the story was just that good...).
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I'm feeling a good bit better today. I'm still being very cautious about what I eat. I was okay with tea and toast (with margarine, even!), but a little turkey lunch meat (nitrate and nitrite free) made me feel really terrible. I probably would have tried making rice if it hadn't been a Thursday or if I hadn't slept so late. Scott picked up some Cup o' Soup packets, some saltines, and some ginger ale for me. I would like to keep saltines around all the time for this sort of thing, but if we have them in the house, Scott devours them with margarine and then complains about the calories and how we shouldn't have such things in the house.

I've been sneezing and sniffling off and on. It'll be bad for five to ten minutes and then not there at all for half an hour and then come back again.

My sleep last night wasn't as good as I had hoped. I spent the last three or four hours convinced that I needed to get up to take medication every hour on the hour which was decidedly not true. I didn't need to take anything until a little after 5:00 when Scott's alarm went off.

Scott dug up a PDF of the Firefly character sheet. Unfortunately, it's not possible to save it after one fills it out; one can only print. I was going to put in what I've established so far and save for later editing when Scott was available, but I can't. I'm not sure it's useful to fill in what I have so far and print that when I'll have to retype it all later. I should see if Scott has a PDF of the game rules. If he does, I might be able to make the character on my own. The game book is too heavy for me.

I've written about 3000 words so far this month. I've spent most of my writing time editing rather than writing new text. I have a friend doing a beta read on my Fandom5K story. I haven't looked at her comments yet, but I get the impression that she might be looking for a different sort of story than the one I've written. That will make dealing with the comments harder because I'll have to weigh half a dozen different factors in deciding what to do in response to each or if I'm going to do anything at all.

We got a weird phone call yesterday that I'm quite sure was some sort of scam. Scott agrees, but we disagree about what it was trying to do. The caller ID said the call came from Comcast, an 800 number, and it was a recorded thing telling us that we have a service call scheduled today between 4:00 and 5:00. I'm pretty sure that they were trying to get me to talk to an 'operator' and give them personal information. Scott thinks it's a setup to try to get me to let some stranger in. I suppose the latter is possible, but I'm not convinced that it would work better than just showing up cold. Also, showing up personally is a much bigger risk and investment than phishing phone calls.

The idea of getting a call from an 800 is just-- That's not how it works.

If I wasn't fighting so hard to get through today, I'd probably call Comcast and report the call. Maybe they'd actually care that someone is spoofing their ID. Of course, it's Comcast...
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I slept really badly last night with reflux and gas and pain. I'm almost certain it was a post-stress thing because this is the response I'd expect from my body after the day I had yesterday. It hit hard enough, though, that I called to cancel my PT appointment. I really hope I did it correctly because it would suck big time to have to pay for the missed appointment.

I'm not even sure why I'm still up at this point. I meant to go back to sleep. At first, it was because I thought I might eat something, but everything I looked at in that direction provoked nausea.

I think that my miscalculation yesterday was to go ahead with our evening plans instead of crashing after Cordelia's appointment. I enjoyed seeing our guests, but I think I wasn't up to it. Also, one brought some mildly cheese flavored potato chips, and I likely shouldn't have had any given how things have been the last few weeks. I don't know how much those contributed to the reflux; given how things went, it's possible that they didn't have any effect on it at all. It's just that the rest of what I ate yesterday evening should have been safe.

Unless I was doomed to reflux no matter what I ate.

I have about 2/3 of my character for Scott's Firefly game. He keeps shoving paper character sheets at me and expecting me to fill them out. I finally explained very explicitly that no character sheet is important enough for me to write it by hand at this point. I'd been trying to figure out the best way to make my own version of the sheet online, but Scott tells me there actually is an online version. I'm kind of bewildered as to why he's been pushing the paper version at me for months.
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Scott and I picked up food at the Syrian place yesterday. We spent a lot on it, but I’ve gotten three meals out of it, and Cordelia has gotten two. Scott has had one or two. We still have a little food left, and I’ll probably eat that for lunch before we go out.

I want to make soup today or tomorrow. We have a lot of turkey that could work there, but I need Scott to pick up some broth and some frozen veggies that will work. I don’t know if I can make something Cordelia will eat, though.

Scott promised Cordelia a visit to the mall today with me along to make it a full family outing. I’m iffy about it because of my difficulties with walking. It’s not just the tendinitis; I’m having ankle problems right at the moment with my left ankle feeling like something’s wrong in how it compresses when I put weight on it.

Scott and I spent some time last night trying to narrow down options for a character for me to play in the new game he’s thinking to start. I’ve got a pretty clear concept. It’s mainly that the system he wants to use is difficult. He adores it, but it’s kind of rigid in ways that make me long to break it. There’s also a minor problem in terms of me wanting to play an older character who has a long history of being really good at what she does. She’s not really a starting character, and I have to figure out how to approximate what I want with a starting character.
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My left Achille’s tendon has really been hurting the last few days. It’s been very nice outside, in the 50s and 60s, and I very much want to take a walk. I just know that I wouldn’t make it very far before the pain was too much, and then I wouldn’t be able to do anything the rest of the day. That’s not been an option all week and won’t be today, either. Tomorrow, I will almost certainly walk too much because Scott has the day off (it’s his birthday) and will want to do things.

All of the laundry has also made my hands hurt a lot. My right hand was angry enough to make sleeping difficult last night which is highly unusual. I slept badly last night, generally. I was too warm, and my sinuses complained a lot. When I’m upright, I feel fine and don’t think I have a cold at all, but when I lie down, suddenly, I feel like I have a bad cold. I can’t think of anything in the bed that I might be allergic to.

We had three friends over last night. We talked about a game Scott wants to run in the Firefly universe. I’m kind of generally eh on Firefly, but everyone else is really enthusiastic. The game system will be Cortex Plus which I don’t know a lot about. We only had one copy of the book last night, and I let other people look at it since it lives here and is mine any other time.

I only have to do two loads of laundry today. I’m kind of hoping that I can get all of the chores done quickly and then nap. It might happen. Maybe.

To do list )
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I’m going back to bed very soon now. Due to various factors, I only got six hours of sleep last night, and my body is letting me know in no uncertain terms that doing that two nights in a row is utterly unacceptable. I’ve just got a couple of things, including this post, that I want to get done before I crash, so it will be at least another half hour before I lie down.

Scott discovered last night that some of the bolts holding Cordelia’s loft bed together had been working themselves loose. He tightened them, but I worry about the ones that we can’t see without moving the bed. We can only get at the thing from two sides (and one of those requires standing in the closet).

We played Flash Point with Cordelia last night, at her request. I think she enjoyed it more than she expected to. We just barely won— We had one black cube left to place when we rescued our seventh person. We got lucky because the fire kept landing in one half of the house while the people to be rescued always landed in the other part.

There was no school yesterday, so it was me and Cordelia at home together all day. I got her to watch two episodes of Princess Tutu with me, but I’m not sure she was really interested. I suppose I’ll find out when I suggest watching it again.

My left Achille’s tendon is giving me more trouble, even just in terms of walking around the house and doing the things I have to do.

I think I’m not going to sign up for [community profile] fandom5k. Looking at the specific requests so far, there aren’t many that I could actually write well, and half of those are in fandoms I wasn’t going to offer because of the canon being too big. Two of the remaining ones are for the same person. There were also several requests in fandoms I had intended to offer that were things I’d have a hard time writing.
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I’m slowly whittling down my to do list. I keep adding things, too, but they’re generally small things. Things look much better if I don’t include my list of things I want to finish writing. There are so very many of those, and right now, I’m flitting back and forth between several different stories.

I checked last night, and the face to face training for the recount is, while technically in Ann Arbor, well outside of reasonable travel range if I have to take a cab. The bus doesn’t go close enough for the ride planner to accept it as a valid destination. They’ve set up about five online training sessions, though, so I signed up for one of those. I still need to email the coordinator and let him know that I’m not coming to the face to face session. I’d kind of rather do the face to face because I’ve never done something like this online and don’t know if it suits my learning style.

I didn’t get back to sleep after Cordelia got up this morning. I stayed in bed until she left, though, so that she could have the time to herself.

We had a game session last night. We did a little more first contact stuff, but the group is being sent on an off-planet mission next session, so I don’t know if we’ll go back to that. The npc who’ll be taking over seems only sort of competent, but I suspect that’s largely because the GM wants the pcs to make the decisions about what to try.

I made chocolate chip bars last night. I’d gotten to the point of not easily being able to delay when we discovered that we had no baking soda in the cupboard. Neither of us could figure that out because that’s not the sort of thing that we usually run out of, especially not without realizing that we need to buy more. Scott ended up making a trip to the store to get some, and I pulled things together while the game session was getting started. I didn’t want to deal with our rock hard and years old brown sugar (I know there are ways of softening it. I didn’t want to deal with it), so I used white sugar and molasses. That changed the color of the resulting bars but not the taste.

My hands are hurting a lot. I keep doing the things I need to do, but I say, "Ow. Ow. Ow!" a lot and use heat and cold and wish desperately that there was something I could take that would actually help. I need to prod my doctor. She said she was going to refer me to orthopedics and that they’d call me with an appointment. It’s been three weeks now, and I haven’t heard anything. Given that it will take months for me to get in, I really want to get things rolling now.

I have one library book due on Sunday that can’t be renewed. I’m about twenty pages into it. Finishing it is possible, but I’m not sure I will because I’m not finding it engaging. I’ve got another book that can’t be renewed that’s due in the middle of next week that I haven’t even opened and another unrenewable book that I have started and really want to finish but am not sure I can because holding it hurts a lot. The latter has a lot of full page pictures, so it’s not a long as it looks, not in terms of time spent reading words.
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Only one person came over for our game session last night. The other three people all have colds they didn’t want to share with the rest of us. They also hoped that an early night would help them recover faster.

The three of us ended up playing a cooperative game Scott bought at UCon, Star Trek Panic. None of us had ever played before, so it’s likely we messed up the rules in ways that we didn’t even realize (there’s one way we messed up that we decided to keep for the session because trying to fix it, at the point when we realized, would have been difficult). The game is actually fairly difficult for the players to win. We just barely squeaked through to victory and wouldn’t have if we hadn’t misread the rules.

Cordelia’s homeroom teacher sent out an email this morning to let us know that representatives from some colleges in New England that do summer programs will be at Expo during the time before the eighth graders start presenting. I followed the links in the email, but none of the sites have concrete information about things like cost. I suppose that, if you have to ask about cost, you can’t afford the program.

And we had an actual bird in the house just now. I think it was a sparrow, but it was hugely panicked, so I didn’t get a good look. I opened the back door, and it eventually went out that way. I had to leave the room and wait for the sound of panicked tweeting and the bird banging into the windows stopped because there wasn’t a place I could stand that wouldn’t be too close to the door.

But how on earth did it get in? Scott left three hours ago, and Cordelia left an hour ago. We don’t have windows open because it’s about 35F outside. Even if we did, we have screens. I only started hearing the bird about five minutes before I saw it. I don’t think it came in when someone left and then stayed calm and quiet for a long time. I mean, I like that option better than I like the idea that we’ve got a hole somewhere that it was able to get in through. If a bird that size can get in, a chipmunk or a bat could. (We can’t stop mice because nothing stops mice.) And the hole could get bigger. The bird probably didn’t get in through the attic because there’s no way from the attic down into the house except a well sealed ceiling access.
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I woke today with a migraine. It’s almost gone now because I took an Amerge about half an hour ago. My best guess is that it’s a reaction to being among people so much this weekend. I both find being with people energizing and find it horribly exhausting. I’m not an extreme extrovert, but I do have some mild extrovertish tendencies that mean I’m frustrated a lot of the time because I’m at home alone so very much. At the same time, being out and about pushes all my anxiety buttons because I perceive more potential for something— anything— to go unexpectedly wrong. More people equals more uncertainty and more feeling of not being remotely safe.

Anxiety history )

I ended up with players for my Sentinels of the Multiverse game. All four were people who just wandered by and decided they were interested. There were two kids, siblings, who looked to be between ten and fourteen and who had played before and two men who had never played before. The players lost the first game even though they did everything right. The villain just happened to get the cards that made it impossible for them to beat him. We had forty five minutes left of the time slot, and the players wanted to try another game. I shouldn’t have let them, but I wanted the two new players to have a positive experience. Of course, during that second game, three of the players had to leave and were replaced by other people who just wandered by.

Scott took over running for me when I needed a bathroom break, and I never took my seat back. He was cranky by the time the game ended because he thought the players weren’t cooperating with each other but rather were trying to maneuver to be the one to take out the villain. I’m not sure he was right, but we were both tired, and we got out of the hotel at about 7:40 and had to figure out getting me food that I could eat before 8:00. Scott suggested pizza as something that would be ready by 8:00. I pointed out that that wasn’t actually soon enough for me to be able to eat.

We ended up picking up food at McDonald’s. Scott had taken Cordelia home earlier, so we called to ask what she wanted. She and I both had burgers. She had fries, too.

I wrote about 900 words after we got home, all on my Yuletide fic. I think I have to talk to someone who knows the canon, just to bounce ideas off of them. Scott knows the canon, but he’s not great at talking about such things. He’ll give me notes and comment after I’m done with the first draft, but that doesn’t help when I have fragments in my head and am trying to decide which ones fit and which ones don’t. Fortunately, I know some people who like this canon and the characters I’m writing.

Scott participated in a character generation demo for an rpg based on Sentinels of the Multiverse (one of the game creators was there). I attended the very beginning of that and the end, but my brain was dribbling out my ears due to exhaustion, and I’m terrible about crunching numbers for creating characters. I loathe it. We did a little bit of a play test after the character creation. I wasn’t pleased with it because, although I think the designers intended it to be flexible, I felt like there wasn’t very much I could actually get the character to do, including things that she really ought to be able to do.

The game designer said he wanted to write a game that would appeal to new players and new GMs. I’m not convinced this is good for that, but my reactions to various systems as a GM tend not to be at all near to the reactions that most experienced GMs have. I want the system to be as unobtrusive as possible once character creation is complete, and this system is very much not that. I might be able to play this system if I spent a session or two with a cooperative GM who understood the system and was willing to go slowly enough that I could figure things out. We only had about twenty minutes for this demo, and the GM wanted to show off combat.

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