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During July, I started and abandoned a lot of everyday posts for DreamWidth. Sometimes, I got distracted. Sometimes, I realized that I was having stress and/or perimenopause mood swings and doing nothing but complaining about trivialities.

Cordelia tried trimming my hair when the only other option was me doing myself. She became less anxious about the process as we went on, and she told me that it was because I wasn't at all agitated or concerned. The trimmings looked like a lot of hair, but she didn't get it short enough to help with my c-pap headgear (when my hair reaches a certain length, my headgear starts coming off in the middle of the night. I end up waking to put it back and thus sleeping less well than I would without the c-pap).

Scott made an attempt at trimming my hair yesterday. He had me lean on a wedge pillow with my head off the upper edge. This got my hair closer to the desired length, but it also left a layer of hair in back completely untouched.

We have now ordered trimmers so that we won't need to use scissors again.

Cordelia has an SAT seat in late September. I'm not really optimistic that it will happen or that it will actually be a safe thing for her to do. It'll be about an hour drive to the test location. Nothing closer had a seat still available.

Cordelia's crochet hooks and one skein of yarn have arrived. We're still waiting for 2-3 more skeins of different kinds of yarn. Cordelia is has managed about three rows of single crochet so far. Turning is a challenge she has yet to master; that is, she's doing it, but it's uneven and clearly not right.

I've been watching some Netflix cartoons aimed at tweens. They seem to be much more my speed than anything aimed at adults. I don't like violence, and I don't like stories that expect me to take them Seriously and to get stressed out about what terrible things are going to happen.

Scott and I had to make a trip out to the bank last week to transfer money from Cordelia's account to ours in order to cover the laptops. The nature of her account means that I have to be there with picture i.d. The teller said that we could have done the transaction through the pneumatic tubes, but we couldn't use an ATM.

The teller encouraged me to put a banking app on my phone, but it's not happening any time soon. I try to minimize what's on my phone. I assume that anything I do on there ceases to be private. I'm not sure what I'll do if I'm ever without Scott; without a car, access to ATMs requires a considerable expedition.
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Scott and Cordelia tried to do most of the birthday stuff for me on Saturday, the day before my birthday, because we were scheduled to spend Sunday with Scott's parents and his sister and her family (minus the kid at college). We had lunch with everyone on Sunday at Scott's parents place, and then most of the group watched the Indy 500 while Cordelia and I read our books.

Monday, my lower back spasmed. I needed help with standing up and with getting out of bed. I couldn't stand for very long, either. I remembered the stretches I needed, but they only help incrementally. The first time I did them, I couldn't get up off the floor without Scott to help me. I weigh enough that I don't think Cordelia could have.

Tuesday, the spasmed had decreased enough that I could do things if I was careful, so I took care of some chores. Yesterday, I was still hurting enough that I took a cab to my appointment instead of taking the bus the way I'd meant to. I ended up walking around a bit after that because walking didn't hurt and then took a bus to central campus. I walked to the South University post office and finally mailed my hair to the charity that does wigs for kids in Michigan.

I got bubble tea for myself and for Cordelia, and I played some Ingress. I misread the details of one mission enough that I ended up going a couple of blocks out of my way as I headed for the bus home. I also ended up detouring to the library when I realized that my water bottle was empty and that it was time to take my thyroid medicine. The bus I wanted was pulling up to the station at about the time I went inside the library. I don't think I could have made it even if I'd skipped both the Ingress mission and the medication.

At least the timing worked out so that I could drink my bubble tea as soon as I got home.

We had a session of Scott's Firefly game last night. It had been a while, so we all had to remind each other of details from the last couple of sessions. It'll be at least a month before we can play again because two of the players will be at Origins next time. The rest of us will keep going with the Betrayal Legacy game.

I was awake and functional during the game session which kind of surprised me given all of the walking earlier in the day. My back was semi-okay until I lay down on the floor to do PT after our guests had gone home. I'm not sure if that's just when my muscles decided to announce that four-ish hours of walking is not what's good for a spasming back or if it was entirely me trying to do the stretch for my neck which involves tennis balls under my head for a minute or three, but it spasmed again as I sat up.

I managed to stand up on my own anyway (I wanted to be able to test that before trying it while at home alone this morning). This morning, I made Scott and Cordelia manage without me so that I could get a little extra sleep. I needed it pretty badly. My lower back is still twinging, off and on, but it's not as bad as Monday or even last night.

I'm hoping that I can make Scott clean out the dryer vent today in spite of the rain. He washed his two winter coats on Monday and didn't manage to clean out all of the pockets. Those coats have a lot of pockets, so that part doesn't worry me. The part I'm cranky about is that he found bits of tissues all over the coats and the inside of the washer and still put the coats into the dryer.

There were a lot of paper scraps when I opened up the dryer on Tuesday. I'm not running the damned thing until Scott cleans that duct. We're due for it anyway, and there was so much of it that there has to have been a good bit that got past the lint screen. We have four loads of laundry stacked up and waiting. Because I'm short, I can't get at the dratted thing, even if my hands would do the work, and Cordelia's no taller than I am. I don't like the idea of her standing on the dryer to try to get at things.

My state i.d. arrived in the mail, and my goodness my shortened hair is floofy. When it's not wet, the ends spread a pretty long way out from my head. Measuring with my hands at ear level, it goes a bit wider than the length of my middle finger. It's still flat above the ears, probably due to the weight of the hair.
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I did not end up with an injection yesterday. Instead, I have more PT exercises and a couple of referrals. The doctor suggested that I see a rheumatologist.

Some of the recommended exercises aren't feasible without us buying some more specialized equipment (I can't risk hand weights over my head if my ability to grip them is all that's keeping them from falling on my head. I need to see how other options affect my hands).

Some of them aren't feasible because they want me to put my body weight through the palms of my hands; I'm also having trouble finding a space with enough room to do wall exercises. We have a stretch of bare wall in our bedroom, but there isn't enough space between the wall and the bed (the bed can't be moved due to space constraints) for me to do the exercise.

Maybe it's just that these exercises are designed for people who don't have bookshelves wedged into every possible space? I may be able to do them against the front door, but that will put my hands at different distances from my body because of the design of the door.

One drawback to the shorter hair that I hadn't considered-- When I walk around, I get sweaty right around the hairline on my neck. When I had my hair long but pulled back, that would dry without fuss. At this point, it gets into my hair and still feels damp hours after I get home.

I slept unusually well last night. I'd still like more sleep because I'm exhausted, but it was a solid seven hours.
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I woke up between 3:30 and 4:00 this morning and didn't manage to get back to sleep before our alarm at 5:30. When I woke, I had somehow ended up mostly sitting up against the pillow that's my backstop for sitting in bed with the laptop. I normally sleep with no pillow under my head, just something under my neck to support it.

I'm not sure if I fell asleep in that position and didn't move or if I somehow worked my way into it. The main things keeping me awake after that were my anxiety about today's appointment and my sinuses starting to complain in a way that might mean I'm getting a cold. I'm still sniffly and a tiny bit congested, so I'm leaning toward the idea of a cold

I've got a longish to-do list of things I want done by noon. None of them are likely to take very long, but keeping moving is hard. My first priority was my PT. I stepped back the hand weight exercise from 5 lbs to 3 lbs because three days of not doing it seemed like a thing that might require that. The fact that 3 lbs felt challenging makes me think I was right.

A couple of the exercises won't be doable tonight or tomorrow, so I want to get them in twice before my appointment. I've done once for all five.

My hands are doing better. Certain movements still hurt, some in different places than before, and I still need the thumb braces, but I'm not getting increasing resting pain over the course of the day and not having so much in the way of pain from jostling the hand. I'm tentatively calling it a win. The decision is still up in the air and depends on what happens as I do more and on how long it helps.

Yesterday, I had an appointment downtown. I returned a few things to the library, including everything I had that was due tomorrow. I've still got things to pick up and a couple of thing due Sunday, but I wanted to avoid us needing to go down there both days. It's graduation weekend, and downtown and campus are packed.

I had lunch at Totoro. They seated me at the bar because they didn't have empty tables, especially not just for one person. All of the staff who know me complimented me on my haircut.

I think I have a bus draft of one of my exchange fics. I'm letting it sit as an AO3 draft right now, but I'll probably post it before I go out today. I have time for editing. I wish I had a bus draft for my other exchange fic, but I don't think that will happen this morning. I have too many other things with more pressing deadlines.
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Ingress has rejected Robert Hayden's grave as a potential portal. The acceptance process seems to be pretty random as to what they'll take and what they won't, and they just send a rejection form without specifying why they rejected the place. Out of the eight potentials I sent in last week, two have been accepted. Three have been rejected. The others are still pending, but none of them are things I think are very likely to be accepted.

Today feels very weird because we did the library run yesterday. That made yesterday feel like Sunday. Right now, I feel like it's much later in the day than it actually is. Scott and Cordelia are supposed to meet her friends at the movie theater at 3:30. They'll pick up one friend on the way, and another is already here so that she can ride with them.

I gave Cordelia's friend the package of hair rubberbands that I bought 2-3 weeks ago. I used three of them before I got my hair cut, but I don't expect I'll use them again. If I do, it won't be for months into years. Might as well buy new at that point.

Scott and I are three episodes into season 2 of She-Ra. Scott remembers seeing episodes of the original, but I don't think I ever did. My younger brother watched He-Man occasionally, but I didn't have a TV between fall of 1985 and some time around 1990. When I did get one, I mostly watched videos.

I have banana bread in the oven. I had just enough resources to manage it and just enough time while Scott was out getting bread and while Cordelia and her friend were out getting bubble tea.

I nearly didn't, though. I kept finding additional things that needed doing that I hadn't expected. One of the loaf pans I needed didn't get entirely clean last time it was washed, but it got put away as it was. There wasn't enough sugar or all purpose flour in the bins. We had a bag of sugar, but I had to open it. We also had an unopened bag of bread flour; again, I had to open it. I also had to open a new container of canola oil. My hands are very unhappy with me now.

My intention is to send one loaf home with Cordelia's visiting friend. Her mother sent us spring rolls for lunch and gave us some canned goods that they don't expect to use. I'd have wanted to anyway because I like her family, but giving food is one of the few things I can offer.
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Today was much better pain-wise than yesterday or, really, any other day recently. I think that having my hair shorter and not having to try to brush it or put it up repeatedly is helping. I mean, I did brush it, but at this length, it barely registers as needing movement.

I do, however, keep trying to move my hair so that it won't get in the way when I'm doing routine things-- picking up my purse, rinsing my mouth after brushing my teeth-- and it's not in the right place. It's long enough that my hand still touches it, but I only brush the ends. It's weird.

I've managed to get my Wayback Exchange assignment moving again, but I have no idea how I'm going to get from where I am to what I intend. Optional details are optional, but I'd like to manage something in the general vicinity of what my recipient is hoping for. I'm sitting on the H/C Exchange story for a few days while I figure out the bits that need to go into the already written part to make it work. I think I know what they are, but I need to set them in place just so or it won't work.

I've decided to return one library book without even cracking it open. It's due Sunday and has holds, and while I'm kind of interested in reading Elfquest some day, I don't think I actually care enough to deal with the book. It's too big and heavy (and I never cared enough to look at the comics online, so...). Mostly, I'm interested in it as something that people I played AD&D with in college were really into. The DM built his elves on the comics.
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After I got my hair cut yesterday, it was 4:30. I was by Kroger, so Cordelia asked me to get her a couple of things. By the time I was done in there, It was after 5:00, and it would have taken me at least 20 minutes to get home by bus (not including waiting for the bus). My hair was still very wet, so being out in the wind was miserable, and I thought that Scott would be on his way home soon.

He ended up stuck for an extra half an hour at work. I missed his email about it because I seldom check email on my cell phone. He couldn't text because he doesn't have cell signal in his office; he has to leave the building. I saw his email about 5 minutes before he called to say that he was in the car. He took half an hour to get there after that.

I sat at Espresso Royale the whole time. I had a cookie and a cold drink-- a ginger dragon (mix of lemon and ginger). The cookie was essential because I wanted to take some naproxen (I'm not sure it helped, but I was hurting). I hadn't meant to walk for two hours nor for half of that to be on trails rather than pavement.

Today, I overwalked again. It wouldn't have been too much if I hadn't overdone yesterday, but I really should have thought, before I set out, about the likelihood that yesterday would affect my stamina. My muscles didn't ache, so I just didn't think about my ankles and hips being less stable than they would usually be.

I submitted a few more potential portals for Ingress while I was walking toward downtown today, a little free library (those are about 50-50 on being accepted) and a couple of grave sites at a cemetery that was on my way. One of those graves was one I'd been looking for off and on for a few months, but it's a flat to the ground plaque, and I didn't get time there with no snow on the ground until today.

Robert Hayden was, effectively, a Poet Laureate. They just weren't calling the office that when he held the position in the 70s. He taught at the University of Michigan. I had wondered why the local library system had so many of his books in their Black Studies Poetry collection, and apparently it's the intersection of those two things. It's possible (probable?) that he's one of the big reasons they have that collection as a Thing to begin with.

At any rate, once I found out he was buried in that cemetery, I thought his grave should be an Ingress portal as a site of public note. Part of that is me looking for more potential portals within walking distance, but part of it is that the US hasn't had that many Poet Laureates.
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I got my hair cut today. I have a big ziploc full of what was cut off because I'm probably going to donate it. The lady who cut my hair did five or six chunks, each with a small rubberband at the top. She suggested a Michigan specific charity that does wigs for kids. I had started looking online a couple of days ago, but I'd backed away when I realized that I was still dithering about getting it cut to begin with. Deciding what to do with it after seemed premature.

I think I may need to get it cut shorter than where it is now. It's too short to put back, and, really, I can't manage putting anything back any more, anyway, so growing it out won't help. At the current length, just below my ears, it's still long enough to blow across my eyes in a way that makes it very hard for me to see. I can't use barrettes because every type I've ever tried just slides right out.

What do those of you with hair this length do when your hands are full and you need to cross a street?

I walked part of the way to the mall where I got my hair cut. I ended up making a couple of side trips that I didn't plan on and that left me more tired than I'd hoped to be. It's a bad thing to realize that one's on the edge of overdoing when in the middle of a large park that's a very long way from the nearest bus stop (I had to walk another 20 minutes to reach a road that had bus service). I think I kept diverting onto trails I'd never tried because I didn't really want to get to the mall to begin with.

I'm not sure Scott and Cordelia believed that I would do it, but it's done. It needed doing. I just feel weird and not really myself now. I'll get used to it, but long hair has been part of how I view myself for as long as I can remember, and I've always loved my hair, so it's... complicated.
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I regret that I didn't take time to deal with the dishes yesterday. I've ran the dishwasher twice today. My hands are very unhappy about this because getting things out of the dishwasher is much, much harder than putting them in. I try to have Cordelia do that part as much as I can, but I had missed how many dirty dishes we had because I hadn't realized that the dishwasher was nearly full.

I started a load of laundry before I emptied the dishwasher, and I tried to do some cooking. The latter task ran aground on the food I planned to cook being bad. I want to make banana bread, but the bananas aren't quite overripe enough yet, and my hands really weren't up to it after the cleaning.

I talked Cordelia through refilling the cold brew coffee thingy. I normally do it because I'm the one who tracks when it's empty. I don't drink it, but I pour Scott's mug (he drinks it cold and unmixed with anything else) and prepare Cordelia's every morning.

I'll probably leave switching over the laundry until Cordelia gets home. I'm not sure I can manage that on top of what I've already done.

I wanted to change the top sheets and pillowcases on our bed. We changed the fitted sheet yesterday because I sloshed coffee on it while reaching for a kleenex to clean up coffee that I'd sloshed on a library book on my bedside table while I was trying to set the cup down.

I considered going out to get my hair cut today, but I failed my morale check and stayed home. I think I need a different haircut because the long hair is giving me issues. It's exhausting to wash, and I keep moving wrong when I brush it. I'm safe down to a certain point. Then I twist my wrist to shift my grip and keep my brush moving.

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