the_rck

I'm still testing negative for Covid, but I'm also still definitely sick with something. Earlier in the week, it was headaches (probably sinus) and exhaustion (on the level of 'why are the muscles in my torso wobbling when I'm on my feet more than 30 seconds?'). Right now, both of my ears ache, and I'm unsure of my balance. I've taken sudafed and mucinex and am hoping things will drain soon. Today's the first day when sitting in the living room wasn't an option.

Scott is recovering. He'll be going back to work tomorrow. He'll also have to figure out which of his scheduled vacation days between now and 31 December he'll be giving up. We already knew he'd be working Black Friday because that was part of his deal for having last weekend free.

Cordelia decided not to come home. She had a five day weekend, so she'd been planning to visit. She made the decision based on not wanting to risk getting sick as she had two different offers of a ride. She says that campus feels empty. MSU scheduled tomorrow and Tuesday off for 'fall break,' and Cordelia's Friday class only meets some weeks.

I just got my Yuletide assignment, and I'm excited about it. I'm probably going to end up buying the canon so that I can take proper notes without worrying about due dates. I'll be returning all of the other things that I borrowed from the library before offering them; getting stuff that way helps me feel able to offer more things. That way, I know I'll have access if finding a copy to buy takes longer than I expected.

I finished filling out my ballot last night. We'd been planning to take them downtown today, but I wasn't up to it. Either Scott will drop them off tomorrow, or we'll put them in the out-going mail.

We did a grocery pickup at Meijer on Saturday. Unfortunately, one of the items they didn't have was the tissues I ordered. My suspicion is that they didn't have the exact size of package I ordered. They have a single toggle for substitutions, and I always set it to 'no substitutions' because of the risk of getting things no one in the house will be able to eat. Also, for things like tissues and soap, I have to have unscented, but there's no way to specify that.

( Scott tested positive for Covid Saturday )

Scott only worked two days last week. The vacation schedule was planned before he took the second shift job, but he'd forgotten that he'd scheduled Thursday and Friday off. He made some repairs to the ramp from the back porch to the driveway (one of the supports underneath had come loose and tipped over because Scott's father thought that screws down through the ramp to the supports would interfere with the ramp's functionality and therefore didn't let Scott anchor things properly), so there's no longer a soft spot halfway down. We got some things stored and some other things cleaned. I did some moving of books in the basement that I'd been intending to do for literal years.

We discovered during the book moving that three or four books had gotten a little wet and needed to be pitched. None of them are things we particularly care about. I'm just annoyed because, while I knew we were getting dribs and drabs of dry soil through the corner of that basement window, I hadn't ever seen signs of moisture there. We could so easily have lost books I cared about. I also pulled more books to donate.

We discussed trying to get rid of some of the furniture in the basement, and Scott had plans in that regard before he got sick on Saturday. At this point, who knows? I did ask Cordelia if any of that stuff appeals to her for a few years down the road, and she was unenthusiastic. Which is fair.

Cordelia will probably want any of the bookshelves that we manage to clear. At least, I assume so. Everybody needs bookshelves. Right now, though, we need to move the furniture so that I can get at the C-G author paperbacks and the H-S author hardcovers. I haven't weeded them at all. Ideally, I'll be able to shift everything enough to clear the dining room shelves for some of the board games Scott has stacked on the floor. He's weeding those, just more slowly than I'm weeding the books, because he wants to play each of them at least once.

I also need to drag him to the basement to weed his books. I wouldn't keep the Dragonlance books, but he used to run a campaign in college and has major nostalgia about them. There are a couple of other largish sets that are 100% his. I'm not touching them unless he tells me it's okay. I'm also not touching anything that's in that gray area of belonging to both of us. At least, I'm trying not to.

( Talking about Yuletide sign ups )

This posting regularly thing is harder than I remember it being. Some of that is that my sense of time is kind of screwy these days; some of that is being out of the habit; some of that is simply not having much going on.

I've been trying to tidy up my reading/watching logs for posting, but while my lists are (probably) complete, I simply don't recognize many of the titles and need to look for blurbs to remind myself which story the title goes with. I recognize the stories most of the time, but the library catalogue blurbs are often kind of terrible and/or misleading.

Next week, Scott will be going back to 2nd shift. That means he'll work 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. instead of 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. This will put the two of us back on more or less the same schedule. I'm not sure how that will go. I'm definitely better off on several fronts (digestive issues are most immediately obvious that way) when I stay on that schedule, but I'm also out of practice at going to bed when Scott does.

Also, my body really, really wants the day to be 25 or 26 hours long. Maybe even 27 or 28 hours long.

The other complication of 2nd shift is that it will make Scott driving to East Lansing to bring Cordelia home considerably more difficult. He'd get there after midnight, and she's unenthusiastic about trying to deal with that because it will be past her normal bedtime. She's also unenthusiastic about looking at bus options because that would leave her and her stuff downtown and needing to get here somehow.

I think the problem here is, first, that she's never done it before and would rather not have to and, second, that she'll have to carry everything between the bus from East Lansing and the bus from downtown to here. I'm not clear on where the former might drop her off, but the most likely options involve either a few blocks and/or street crossings between or a mid-trip transfer once she's in Ann Arbor. Getting to our house from the nearest bus is two blocks by one route and four from another. The four block version involves a busy street and a quite steep hill, but has the advantage of running more often.

None of this is impossible, just less convenient for Cordelia. I expect that Scott would still drive her back on Sunday if he's not working, but we couldn't count on that. He will miss the driving time with Cordelia in the car. That's been their father-daughter hanging out time for the last year.

I keep having the impulse to go to UCon. I think it's mostly me wanting some of the things that con gave me when I was healthier/more energetic. I also keep thinking that maybe I could do something there to help Scott with all of his board games and such which is... I can't walk well, and I can't carry more than about 10 pounds. I'm pretty sure I'd be a hinderance in that respect. Also, all of the points I made to Scott about me getting upset and being miserable if I go are still valid.

I had been enjoying the convention less and less over the years. Scott has still really enjoyed it. There are games he only ever gets to play at the convention. We own a lot of board and card games, only a handful of which Scott's ever gotten to play. Cordelia dislikes games, generally, and I get so tense that I shake and, eventually, sprout a headache when I try to play anything competitive or that has a lot of time pressure.

(My sister and I both react this way, and we think it's shared trauma from our grandfather having attempted to teach us (ages 4 and 5) to play euchre and yelling at us for every mistake. We were both fine play Authors (effectively Go Fish but with matched sets of cards representing books by specific authors) with our other grandparents, and we both played gin and gin rummy with our parents.)

I think the convention thing is kind of akin to how I feel when the ARide drives me past neighborhoods I haven't explored but thought I would one day. I can't. I don't know that I'll ever be able to. It's a loss.

Scott will go, and he'll have fun. It won't be everything he hoped for, but it will be a thing he's doing that makes him happy. He needs more of those.

I ended up not going to Cordelia's concert on Wednesday because I had a migraine with nausea that was coming and going in waves. I'd taken the meds, and I knew I'd get worse if I went but might feel better if I didn't. She had said it was okay if I didn't. I still feel bad about it, though.

Scott's parents and his sister and our niece all went, so he had company.

( Christmas plans negativity )

( Ingress lunch )

We still don't know when (or if) Scott will go back to first shift. I'm kind of assuming that it might be months. They haven't hired anyone for the job he left in September, and it's possible that they're hoping he'll go back to that. I'm torn because it was much better for him, physically, but really wrecked him mentally and emotionally.

Scott's concerned about the duration of being on second shift because him taking time off every time Cordelia needs transportation isn't sustainable. He could manage all of the concerts, but there's too much else, and much of it isn't scheduled anything like far enough in advance.

Over the weekend and through this week, I've been battling a cold that I caught from Cordelia. My body has also decided to reset the countdown on menopause. I don't usually end up with wheezing from colds, but I'm feeling this one in my chest and having to be careful as I don't want it to escalate to bronchitis.

I wonder if this cold is hitting me differently because I took prednisone for a week in mid-September? I hope it all settles soon. I'd like to get my flu shot; it just feels like a bad idea to do that when my immune system has already taken a beating.

Scott worked 12 hour shifts on Wednesday and yesterday and is working a third now. He might be on the hook for tomorrow, too, because there's someone scheduled for a vacation day. He'll certainly have Sunday off, but he's scheduled for Monday and Tuesday. I really hope that he actually has next Wednesday through Friday off. There are medical appointments for both of us.

I have emails I need to read and answer, and I still have phone calls to make. I don't know if I'm going to manage all of it today or not.

I managed a burst of writing over last weekend, five short things for a flash exchange. I hadn't signed up because I wasn't sure I'd have energy to finish anything. I wrote one of the stories, from beginning to end, while sitting in the cafeteria at Cordelia's school for the pancake supper fundraiser.

The fundraiser was difficult because I was wobbly for most of it, wobbly enough that I didn't trust myself to go into the bathroom while we were there. I had to have Scott get my food.

I still firmly believe that marching bands should not perform in indoor spaces. My ears hurt so much during their performance. The drummers were all in one place about fifteen feet behind us.

There will be links to those exchange fics later today or some time tomorrow.

Scott had an asthma attack last night which he doesn't want to call an asthma attack. It was triggered by him swallowing wrong while eating dinner an didn't stop until he finally used his inhaler a bit after 11:00. Then his work called at 5:00, half an hour before his alarm would have gone off. He was up and out the door in about ten minutes.

He didn't think to turn off his alarm before he left. I was too exhausted to manage it, so Cordelia ended up coming in and doing it. The alarm is a clock radio that gets louder the longer it's left going. After that, it still took me more than five minutes to drag myself out of bed to get coffee and food for Cordelia and to pull together her lunch.

I think that today will actually involve a nap or, at least, an attempt at one. I've got a list of things I wanted to get done, but sleep seems crucial. Maybe I can put laundry in to wash and then sleep. Today will involve at least two loads.

I've got about eight emails and four phone calls to make, but I can't manage the calls without more sleep. Some of the emails, I might manage and may try. We'll see.

( Health related TMI, mostly venting )

I want to snarl at the universe just to regain some feeling of having any agency in the face of all of this.

Scott wasn't up to going to work today. I've been pretty worried all weekend. He looks slightly better today, and the tessalon is helping with the cough, but he's still very obviously sick. He managed a couple of hours in the living room and is now showering before going back to bed.

I'm frustrated because my Overdrive holds dumped two romance novels on me during the last week. One is due in two days, and I can't listen to it while Cordelia's home. It is, of course, spring break. I'd rather not listen to it while Scott's home, either. Partly because of the content and partly because he doesn't understand that I can't listen to an audiobook while there's something else going on audibly. He'll turn on his own book or a video or something and expect that it won't matter.

Getting The Kiss Quotient again will take at least six months. I wish the library had these on CD because I can stick those into iTunes and delete tracks as I listen. I may take months to finish a book, but it means that me hitting a point where I can't go on for several days doesn't mean I can't ever go on.

I realized last night that one of my problems reading library books is that it's vastly easier for me to read things that are back-lit. I need dark text on a light background or the letters wobble badly. My eyes are doing weird things with being very sensitive to light while simultaneously needing extra light to be able to bring text into focus. I'm pretty sure that the reason I've never been enthusiastic about my ereader is that it's not back-lit, so this is a problem going back many years.

I occasionally read ebooks on my laptop, but there are so many things going on when I have my laptop open that I tend not to finish anything there.

Cordelia's cold has gotten worse, so I'm glad she'll have the three day weekend to sleep and recover.

Scott and I did the shopping last night because Scott was worried about the weather forecast. I'm not sure how much snow we got overnight, but we need to go out today or tomorrow anyway to pick up Cordelia's new glasses. She needs them, and I'd like to have mine back.

Scott wants us both to do the shopping from here on out. I'm not sure it will happen, but I understand why he wants it. We can't go out to dinner together unless I have pancakes which seriously limits our options as to where to go. Also, Cordelia usually wants to go with us. I can't handle plays, movies, concerts, etc. Physically active undertakings carry rather vast risks for my joints. Maybe we can start short walks again when the weather's better. I don't want to walk without light because ice on the sidewalks has given me some nasty falls.

I wrote about 200 words yesterday but am running into problems with making the POV character coherent. I need to write the second section from this POV instead of the one I used at first, but I think I'm starting at the wrong point. Possibly I need to handwave some time in order to jump over the tedious bits.

I figured out a way to make that old bean salad from the downstairs freezer edible. The problem was that the beans had absorbed too much vinegar while frozen. To address it, I made rice, drained the bean salad, and then mixed the beans into the rice. I wasn't 100% sure it would work, but the results are actually fairly tasty. I think the dish will have to be a breakfast or lunch food because it's still very acidic (I needed ice cream last night to deal with reflux. That hasn't happened in weeks or even months).

Today, I need to watch the last 15 minutes of a DVD I have to return to the library tomorrow. I've got a couple of books that are due tomorrow that can't be renewed, but I'm not sure I care about them enough to push. I'll just feel silly renewing a season set of DVDs for 15 minutes (or returning it without watching the last bit).

We had friends over last night. It was meant to be a game session, but we just sat together and talked. It's been so long since we last played that none of us remembered what was happening in story. One of our players wasn't there due to a family emergency.

I want to nap now that Scott and Cordelia are gone for the day, but I also have a long list of things that need to be done by 2 p.m. (when the cleaning lady arrives). I would like to do something nice for myself for lunch, but I'm not at all sure what would qualify.

Scott's scheduled to have vacation all next week, but the way things are going at work, he's concerned that it will get canceled. One of his coworkers is waiting for a kidney replacement, and another has jury duty. Out of an office of four people. Vacation can be canceled; the kidney and the jury duty are immovable objects. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because we have thing we need to get done next week.

Scott's parents have informed us that they won't be preparing certain family standard foods for Christmas this year. I'm not surprised because they're both tired from all of the medical crap and because those foods need wheat flour which they no longer keep in the house.

We'll experiment with making chicken and noodles again. I'll make Chex mix for Scott a time or three. Normally, I'd have done it by now, but I still feel like it's October and keep forgetting that I need to do December things. I suppose that, if I make it and package it properly, I can put a bunch of single servings in Scott's stocking. I still have no idea what to put into Cordelia's stocking, but Chex mix works for Scott.