the_rck

I think I overdid, physically, in the days leading up to Christmas. I crashed hard Christmas afternoon and am still dragging a bit now.

Scott and Cordelia spent a lot of time on a Zoom call with Scott's parents, siblings and siblings' families. I listened in while I was still upright, but I didn't say much or try to get on camera.

Christmas dinner was weird because we didn't plan well relative to the Zoom call (it wasn't clear how long that was going to be) and because we didn't plan the dishes well relative to each other. I suspect that a big part of the problem was that I wasn't up to doing a lot of the work and that Scott simply had no experience with the logistics of getting several dishes to edibility within a small time window.

But, seriously, three continuous hours on Zoom was NOT a help given that Scott put the turkey breast in before the call started.

I got some John Prine CDs that I hadn't previously been able to get (as part of a boxed set that included some that I already had but was still cheaper than buying the ones I lacked individually). I got the Murderbot novel. I got season 3 of The Librarians (we had 1-2 and 4 but had somehow not bought 3).

I got some footie socks with the little grippy bits on the soles; they're even the right size. I've bought online before and gotten things that claim to fit US women's 7-9 but are too small for my size 7.5 feet, and things that slide on our hardwood floors to the point that I'm afraid to take a step without shoes.

I also got a cotton cover for my neck pillow that I can put on and take off easily. I'm not enthusiastic about the texture, but I'm hoping that washing will help that because my hands really can't manage getting the thigh high stocking on and off even if those feel better on my skin. I feel like I owe my MIL an extra thank you for this one, though, because she had an awful time navigating Etsy to place a special order. Etsy is well outside of her online comfort zone.

Cordelia and I got Scott season 3 of The Expanse on DVD and a hot glue gun sort of thing that he says will be extremely useful at work. His parents gave him a bulky winter coat.

Cordelia mostly got books. Scott got her a yearlong membership to one of the genealogy websites, and she stayed up very, very late exploring that. She says that my mother's family isn't much fun to trace because my mother has done all of the work already, but that my father's family is too difficult because of things like one of my great-grandmothers having a cousin with the same name who was born in the same place and same year as she was and because several of the names are just a couple of steps up from John Smith in terms of uniqueness. Scott's father's family is easier because their family name isn't common.

I'm trying to remember family stories about my father's father and his parents. My father knows a bit, but a lot of it is completely lost.

I know Grandpa's family always lived in the Detroit area. I know that his parents left Northern Ireland and passed through Canada to the US, crossing at the Windsor-Detroit border. I don't think they ever lived further south in the US than that. I know that my great-grandfather was a carpenter who made the pews in the church they attended. I saw those once, but the building has since been renovated, so I think the pews are probably gone.

I have a bookshelf that I think he made. It's very utilitarian, and I'm not 100% sure it was meant for books as the shelves are deep enough for two rows of hardcovers. It would be sturdy enough for dishes, I think.

During the Depression, my grandfather was sent to live with relatives who managed an estate near Cleveland and could support him. I think there was some bitterness there because he was the only one of the three children sent away. He was the middle child but the oldest boy, and I'm not sure he'd have been older than ten at the time. Probably not much older, anyway, as he was born in 1922 (per Cordelia's research). He was, according to the Census, living with his parents in 1930 and in 1940.

I'm not sure if the 1922 birthdate makes sense, though. I know that Grandpa just barely got through basic training (army) before the War ended. He never deployed anywhere. He also didn't attend college (he strongly resented the idea that college got people better jobs and more promotions), so if he was born in 1922, there are years unaccounted for between high school and enlistment.

I'm not sure when my great-grandfather died or when my great-aunt developed rheumatoid arthritis. Grandpa abruptly needing to support a family of four might well do it as might a sudden spike in medical costs.

(And I've now talked to Cordelia again. The dates for that part of the family are wrong in several ways that I can confirm, mostly incorrect death dates by a couple of decades (I would remember if those great-grandparents were still alive when I started high school), which makes us less sure about the birth dates. Cordelia says that Grandpa was listed as 17 in the 1940 census. He and Grandma married in 1943. Cordelia's now looking for his military records.)

It's been a long month. I suspect that July will feel longer still.

( Cut for length )

I ended up not going to Cordelia's concert on Wednesday because I had a migraine with nausea that was coming and going in waves. I'd taken the meds, and I knew I'd get worse if I went but might feel better if I didn't. She had said it was okay if I didn't. I still feel bad about it, though.

Scott's parents and his sister and our niece all went, so he had company.

( Christmas plans negativity )

( Ingress lunch )

We still don't know when (or if) Scott will go back to first shift. I'm kind of assuming that it might be months. They haven't hired anyone for the job he left in September, and it's possible that they're hoping he'll go back to that. I'm torn because it was much better for him, physically, but really wrecked him mentally and emotionally.

Scott's concerned about the duration of being on second shift because him taking time off every time Cordelia needs transportation isn't sustainable. He could manage all of the concerts, but there's too much else, and much of it isn't scheduled anything like far enough in advance.

The list of medical appointments for the last two years ran 9 pages. Scott is dropping off that and some insurance claims at the post office on his way to work. Scott was a bit put upon by me asking him to copy things and to address envelopes. I think it was the one thing after another part rather than that the tasks were so onerous.

My next task is to work on my UCon games. I have an idea for the space setting scenario that I think will let me get some words written for it. I have a general background for the supers game; I wrote that during a two person, last minute write-in last Saturday.

Which reminds me-- I need to send out write-in invitations for something this weekend. I wouldn't mind hosting more than one session, but it would be more fun and social all around if everyone can come at the same time.

( Writing goals )

I managed to send back that package that contained the incorrect item, and I've now got the right one. I ended up giving it to Scott early because it's a supplement for a board game he'll be running at UCon. The return process required an irate call to UPS after the driver who was supposed to pick up the package dropped the mailing label on our doormat and walked away without even climbing the steps to knock/ring the doorbell. We have a motion sensitive camera just above our mailbox, so I had video of the whole thing and was on the phone to UPS less than ten minutes after.

The camera is set so that it only reacts when a person is within about three yards of our door and is coming from directly in front of it. That means it catches most people right as they hit the foot of our steps (our walk is parallel to the sidewalk and runs from our driveway to our porch) or when they're in the middle of our front lawn. We'll very occasionally pick up bright headlights going by fast late at night, usually after something has happened to alter the settings, but we don't normally pick up people on the street or sidewalk. If we did, school drop off and pick up times would be a flood of notifications and a clogged folder of footage.

At any rate, the UPS guy came back less than an hour later and actually picked up the package this time. The woman I talked to was very unhappy that we had video evidence that he hadn't even come near the door.

( Voting )

Adjusting to Scott's new schedule is proving challenging. We're up until some time between 1:00 and 2:00 a.m. Cordelia gets up at about 5:45 a.m. Scott can only see her awake if he gets up then, so he has been. She leaves at 6:50 a.m., and he comes back to bed. I'm taking half a tablet of Halcion when we go to bed and another when Scott comes back to bed. I talked about it with my doctor before I tried it. So far, I think it's the best option for me. A half tablet seems to help me sleep for three to four hours, so that still has me waking for the day between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m. I'm spending much of each day wishing that I could sleep, though, and that's not a thing that makes the days enjoyable. I also have very little time when I'm home alone, and I miss that.

Scott and Cordelia are up at his parents' place to celebrate his sister's birthday. I'm on the verge of falling over, so we all three concluded that I'd be better off staying home. It's an hour's drive each way, and there wouldn't have been any good options for me to lie down there.

Scott was very stressed this morning because he likes making photo cards for family birthdays and didn't manage one for his sister. I think it became a bigger failure in his mind than it really should be. She'd have liked one, but she also knows that we're not getting many cute kid photos now that all of the local kids are high school and older.

I'm trying to get myself back on track with the various things that need to be done. The fact that I can only be on my feet for a minute or two at a time is making it harder, and I keep pushing to finish things when I shouldn't and then end up unable to do anything at all. I just have to remind myself that I'm better off stopping in the middle and then coming back than I am not being able to do anything at all later today or tomorrow.

I've got a couple of appointments this week. I think I'm going to have to rely on cabs for them because I'm unlikely to make it back home if I go out by bus.

Scott and I have talked a bit more about the 2nd shift thing. He's holding onto the idea that it's temporary and will end by mid-December. I'm concerned that this is going to be a thing that keeps getting extended for 'a few more weeks' over and over because the staffing problems on 2nd shift are chronic. They can't keep employees, partly due to the time of day and partly due to lack of training (nobody wants to run big machines when they don't know what they're doing. Go figure), and kind of desperately need people exactly like Scott in terms of experience and reliability. Scott's space on 1st shift was filled more than a year ago, and 2nd shift is about three people down from where it should be.

I need to get Scott to apply for an absentee ballot. He'll be working 6:45 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. (or 8:00 p.m.) on election day. Even if he gets out of work on time, he can't possibly make it back here before the polls close. There's only one thing on the ballot, a millage for school maintenance/repair, and those usually pass under that circumstances, but... I would not like to see those expenses pulled out of the general fund. The local schools already have issues with insufficient funds there.

It looks like pomogranates are going on the 'not even in trace amounts' list with raspberries, blueberries, and strawberries. I had some candies containing pomogranate juice twice last week and ended up with intestinal trouble both times. I'm not pleased by this.

I'm also eying the Skittles that Scott bought for Halloween and wondering if the 'natural flavors' includes anything on the above list. I may test that later this week, but I'm not enthusiastic about dealing with the repercussions.

There's a family medicine practice in the same building where Cordelia's pediatrician is. I'm going to call them this week and see if Scott and I can transfer care there once we can no longer go to UHS. I don't like the location much, but getting there is feasible if I'm up to walking a bit (the UM shuttle doesn't actually stop near the building, so there'll be a 10 minute plus walk from the nearest stop) and if I'm up to sitting in the lot by 23 to wait for the transfer between the city bus and UM shuttle. It's something like a $17 cab ride each way (UHS is $11 once I add tip).

I really don't want to try to work with a new primary care doctor. Everything is so vastly complicated, and my UHS records go back to 1985.

Okay, back to the to-do list. I've got two things that I can do without a lot of physical effort and that aren't going to make me melt down mentally. After that, everything left is either physically too much or a thing that I really can't cope with at all but that has to be done ASAP (and has been flamingly urgent for over a week).

Most of the latter has to do with the LTD thing. I keep looking at what my mother has written and feeling like I need to qualify statements. For example, it says I can't tie my shoes. I often can't, but I did it once last week. Cue me freaking out over the statement. Lather, rinse, repeat without ceasing.

My mother is also concerned that the LTD people will find my fanfic and argue that it proves that I'm capable of being 'productive' as a freelancer. I'm not sure how to address that. I have periods when I suddenly write several short things or manage a single long thing, but I also have long periods when I don't write anything at all for weeks because I can't. A big part of me being able to write those things, though, is that the expectations and pressure are low. If I don't come up with anything, nothing particularly terrible happens.

A person being able to bake cookies occasionally in no way suits them to self-supporting by making cookies.

I mostly didn't manage to do much Thursday or Friday. I'd known that I'd be exhausted after Wednesday's evaluation, but I always think that I'm exaggerating my memories of how much my brain stops working after I get through something that stressful. It only hits when I stop moving and am no longer under that stress, but the longer I've been stressed and the bigger the thing was, the more I fall apart.

In this case, I was at the 'yes, a load of laundry is a big deal' stage on Thursday. I might have been able to manage more on Friday, but Thursday is the day the cleaning lady comes, so I spent everything I had left to get through that.

My IBS became a problem Thursday and Friday for the first time in weeks. I'm pretty sure that that was stress related because I hadn't altered my diet.

Our cleaning lady is going to be away for most of August. I'm not clear on the dates because she said 3-4 weeks. She also said that she'll be praying, so I think she might be going to Mecca. Google tells me that it's the right time of year for the Hajj.

Scott and Cordelia have been working on figuring out how to sell things on eBay. They've got three items ready for shipping and two still on sale. We've got a box of stuff still to post.

We had a good session of the Firefly game Wednesday evening. One of the players had to bow out at the last minute, so the rest of us did a flashback episode to figure out how my character joined the crew. It was fun, but I was a little surprise to realize that they basically needed a competent general manager to cover things like supply inventory and making people rest when they were exhausted.

With my character, the ship has a crew of five people, and my character is officially the cook. She has retired from her previous job (espionage and infiltration, no combat skills to speak of) and changed her name and was just looking for some place to lie low and found this ship convenient. Now, she's attached to the other characters. Also, the being paranoid about people's motives and seeing patterns and anomalies isn't a thing she can just stop.

I worry a little that my character's tendency to see conspiracies and shadowy maneuvers everywhere is giving the GM (Scott) ideas. Then I worry that I'm breaking his plots by guessing things that are actually going on.

I'm still fighting with my Wayback story. It keeps wanting to skitter sideways into worldbuilding and introspection in order to avoid scenes and details that are necessary-- description, mostly, and my POV character's reactions to all of the things I ought to describe. Right now, I'm trying to write the plot thru-line to the end so that I don't keep stopping dead over the description. I'll go back and spackle over those holes after I have the frame complete.

I need to get a bus draft of this one because, as long as I don't have one, I'm probably going to get daily migraines. They'll be largely menstrual, but the stress of an unfinished project with a looming due date tips things over.

Scott asked last night if the fans in my laptop were running. I told him that, so far as I knew I didn't have any and hadn't had in my previous machine. I'd never once heard them. He found a program that would let me manipulate the fan speed and that tells me the temperature of various components in degrees C. Setting the left fan to about 2/3 of its maximum speed is helping with the overheating. I haven't fiddled as much with the right fan yet because I want to see what the left fan does to my battery life.

I can actually hear the fan now. I couldn't before. The program says that the range for the fans is 2000-6200 RPM. Running on auto, the fans were running at 2000, plus or minus 5, and a lot of components in the laptop were worryingly warm.

I know I had a bunch of things I wanted to mention, but they've all decided to wander. Scott and Cordelia have been gone for an hour. I'm going to see if I can sleep a little more.

I've somehow lost a few days in terms of checking things off of my to-do list. I have no idea where the time has gone (I can't blame snow days this time). I think I just kind of got overwhelmed again. I have a couple of things I need to do and a couple of things that I want to do, all of which will take a good bit of mental oomph, and I can't seem to pick one and do it.

Possibly it's just having had to deal with Cordelia's concert last week. I tend to underestimate how much an event like that has taken out of me until after I'm past the recovery period.

Cordelia has another choir concert Saturday evening, so the beginning of next week may be shot, too, depending on how I cope.

I had three Ingress portal candidates approved in the last few days and four rejected. I'm not sure why two of those were rejected since they were part of the same nature trail as one of the ones that got approved and had the same sort of signage. I'm very puzzled at the idea of approving one and not the others. They were a decent distance apart, so it wasn't that.

The local high schools are doing standardized tests this week. Cordelia will be taking the PSAT tomorrow. She's a bit cranky about it because the scheduling isn't much fun. They aren't allowed water bottles, and the test is 4-5 hours (I'd have to look it up to see exactly). She'll be crankier next year, though, as the juniors have two days of testing rather than the one day that the freshmen and sophomores have.

Note: I haven't read anything here since some time on Sunday. I probably won't go back that far, so I'll have missed some things.

I overdid yesterday. If it hadn't been Thursday, I'd have been okay. If it hadn't started pouring as I got off the bus near Arborland, I might still have been okay. I didn't have an umbrella because I'd been out of the house for hours at that point. I don't habitually carry one because of the weight.

All of the stuff I needed to get done before I left for my appointment took longer than I expected it to, and there were always half a dozen things that needed doing with no clear priority as to which were more important.

I got to my appointment with plenty of time to spare, and they saw me on time. At that point, I walked up to the Mott bus stop and caught the Washtenaw bus to get to Arborland. I've not taken the bus that way since before Cordelia was born, so I wasn't sure exactly where the stops were or where the crosswalks were. I got off the bus earlier than I probably needed to.

After I got my glasses, it was past 1:00, and I needed to eat something. I didn't want to have to cross Washtenaw twice, so I limited myself to considering what was on the side of the street where I'd need to be to catch the bus back. I ended up getting a burger a couple of doors down from the glasses place. I considered Noodles & Company and a sandwich place, but the former tends not to have great options for, and the latter was across a pretty big parking lot. I didn't consider Chili's for more than about two seconds because I'm pretty sure they have zero things on the menu that are me-safe without major modifications.

The burger wasn't terrible, but it also wasn't spectacular. I didn't get fries because they had big signs saying they fried in pure peanut oil. I considered stopping at Coldstone Creamery after that, but I was still soaked and chilled and needed to catch a bus home.

There are multiple buses running along Washtenaw, and I didn't care which one I got as long as I could connect to one of the two buses that pass near our house. I ended up on one that took a longish route to get to the downtown transit center, so it's possible that I could have gotten home sooner if I'd waited. It was also chilly on both buses on the way home.

I discovered that the awnings at the Blake Transit Center actually leak at the seams and are really weirdly placed. They cover the parts of their driveway where the buses park but not the sidewalk where people stand while waiting or walk while going to a different bus.

The cleaning lady was here when I got home at 3:30. I kind of really wanted to shower in order to warm up and also wanted to sleep for a week. She was cleaning the bathroom, however, so I couldn't get in there until after 5:00. Dinner and a Gatorade woke me considerably, enough so that I had trouble falling asleep at bedtime.

My right calf muscle has been cramping since around the time I got to my appointment yesterday. I've taken naproxen which has helped, but I don't want to do much walking right now. Which is inconvenient because it would be very useful if I'd managed to get myself out to Kroger as we've run out of a few things. It's a little late for me to do it now without Scott having to make an extra trip to bring me and the groceries home.

The next bus there would get me there near 5:00 which is when Scott leaves work. He might hit Ann Arbor as early as 5:30 or as late as 6:00, so it's still possible. I just don't want to.

I overdid yesterday and was hurting and shaky by the time I got home. Resting for several hours got me steady enough to bring laundry up from the basement, but I had to have Scott and Cordelia take out the trash and recycling because of the ice by the back porch (the pavement there is lower than the drive way or the yard and doesn't get much sun).

According to the Ingress tracking I went from 1011 km toward my Trekker badge to 1017 km, so... Erm. It was too cold for that, and I was carrying enough that my lower back got seriously stressed.

I had lunch at Totoro (part of the too much that I was carrying was food for Scott and Cordelia from there), and I delivered the disability review paperwork. Part of the walking around too much was me keeping busy while waiting for the doctor's office to call and tell me if I could drop it off. The other part of me walking around too much was me doing Ingress missions in hopes of getting one of the gold badges I need.

I have a referral to the Kellogg Eye Care Center. They got me in on Monday because they had a cancellation. The doctor at UHS said that I may simply never be able to use progressives and will have to change glasses every time I change distance or do without glasses altogether. The referral to Kellogg is because part of the problem is that I can't make my eyes focus downward and close in. I can get there, but I can't hold it more than a few seconds because it makes the muscles around my eyes (and in my neck) hurt. I'm pretty sure that that is also why I can only make one lens of the progressives work at a time.

At any rate, Scott has Monday off, so he'll be able to take me to the appointment.

My iPhone keeps popping up a request that I log into iTunes. I have no idea what's going on with that. I don't use iTunes on my phone. I very specifically don't want to.