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Scott and Cordelia have gone to a family gathering. I pleaded a headache which I do have, but I also really didn't want to try to squeeze myself into a narrow plastic chair in order to sit outside for 2-3 hours in the heat. Scott's sister and mother plan to cook a shared meal and were not really happy with me when I said I wasn't comfortable with that. Scott and I discussed it and agreed that he and Cordelia would take their own food. Then he forgot to make anything and ran out of time.

I wish I knew if he genuinely forgot or if he 'forgot.' It's probably safer for them to share the meal than it is for Scott to go to work every day or to do the shopping, but we have no way to avoid either of those things. This, we could. Without them bringing their own food, they're going to be pressured heavily to eat, and they're going to be hungry enough to be angry at me for insisting.

Scott had yesterday off, and he has a vacation day on Monday. Yesterday, we watched Hamilton on Disney+. We also watched a couple of Netflix DVDs (Killjoys and Knives Out).

Cordelia will have three friends over this evening for socially distanced 'smore making. Two of the three friends are likely to be responsible about it. The third is more of a wild card that way as she's an extrovert who's been getting increasingly desperate for interaction over the last four months. I'm not fully onboard with the shared food, but I trust Cordelia more than I trust Scott's mother or sister.

I spent yesterday afternoon and evening largely unable to use my hands due to burning and numbness on the backs of my hands and a bit up my arms. A cold pack helped a bit, but getting things to calm down took naproxen and prolonged soaking in the coldest water I could get (we don't have ice. We don't have freezer space for ice). My hands weren't abnormally warm to the touch, and they didn't get red or swell. Whatever I felt wasn't showing on the outside.

Typing seems to make the issue worse as does wearing my thumb splints. I strongly suspect that the thumb splints are the underlying problem because I've had issues (not this bad) before that always cleared up after a few days of not wearing them. Unfortunately, not wearing the splints means that my hands hurt in a different way and are more vulnerable to surprise!spikes of agony when I misjudge what I can do. The splints don't prevent all of the movements that cause problems, but they stop at least half of them.

My past experience with splints and braces has always involved them causing new problems even as they help with whatever the old issue was. It's always been a balancing act between protecting things that need to heal and not giving myself new injuries that will need protection and healing and cause other injuries in turn. My hands, however, aren't going to heal. This is osteoarthritis rather than tendinitis or anything else that can be helped by rest.

Naproxen isn't a long term tool for me, either. My body handles it better than it does most other NSAIDs, but I can't take it more than 2-3 times in a week. That means that I'm continually trying to guess whether I'll need it more in a day or two than I do now (which includes factoring in what things I know I have to be able to do). I'd like to take it today, but I took it yesterday, and I'm not sure what the next few days will look like.

Today, I need to:

Finish making the grocery list.
Strip the bed.
Wash the sheets.
Wash two other loads of laundry.
Feed myself.
Cook sweet potatoes.

I have already got the dishwasher running. I'm going to try to do things in pieces with hand/wrist soaking in between.
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My father called yesterday, but I didn't notice because I turned my ringer off Friday evening and forgot to turn it back on. I plan to keep doing that sort of thing because of early morning spam calls and texts. Our sleep schedule being what it is, those interruptions can mean severely truncated sleep.

Scott and I are currently negotiating about my 5 a.m. alarm for my thyroid medication. The problem is that it can take me 30 seconds to persuade my phone to shut off because it doesn't register my fingertips as properly conductive. It can happen while I'm awake, but at least then I have strategies for dealing with it. Licking my fingertip before pressing often works, and usually I can get one of my ten fingers to register.

When I'm startled out of sleep, it's very hard to be systematic about it. Also, I'm desperate to shut the alarm up so that Scott won't wake fully. He is annoyed enough by the interruption that he's saying one of us may need to find a different place to sleep.

Thyroid medication is such a serious pain in the ass to work around everything else.

At any rate, my father wanted to let me know that Grandma is doing okay, mostly. She's been in a care facility for a few months because the aunt and uncle she was staying with are too ill themselves to be able to look after her. Yesterday was her birthday, and the family local to her had a fifteen minute, no contact visit that included singing happy birthday to her.

One of my sisters has her birthday today. My father says she's working online, from home, so I'm not sure calling her right now is a great idea. Of course, the last I knew, she was working as a nanny which doesn't seem like a thing that would work remotely. I don't know. She and I aren't very close because she's 23 years younger than I am and because we've never lived close enough to visit. She seems very nice, though.

My father's birthday is tomorrow. It occurs to me now that I didn't actually say happy birthday to him, so I'll need to call again tomorrow to say it.

Scott and Cordelia watched the live action Lion King earlier today. I wandered into the living room and found the visuals actively off-putting. Having the background be mostly shades of brown and brown-green makes sense because that's what the real world looks like, but it's very hard for me to process movement that way. Seeing it that way on a screen just makes me cranky because it doesn't have to look like that. Someone made a choice.

Cordelia's criticisms are entirely based on her opinions of the vocal performances. She does not like musicals that cast actors who can't sing or that cast actors with noticeably uneven singing ability. She expects that from, say, high school productions, but professional productions have a much, much larger pool of talent to draw on.

The pot pie yesterday came out okay but not great. I got tired and went to sit down, expecting Scott to let me know when the next steps needed to happen. He went ahead and did them without me. I had said something about not wanting too much liquid and suggested using the collander ladle to be sure of getting all the solid stuff and then using the regular ladle for the broth. Scott just didn't add the broth at all because he misunderstood what I had said.

Next time, he'll know.

That didn't make things inedibly dry, but it did mean that there wasn't any flavor passed from the filling to the biscuit topping. I'm not sure the leftovers are going to be very good unless I add something more because refrigeration is going to dry things out further. I'm just not sure what to add. I used all the chicken broth, and I need to stay low fat so that I don't get reflux, so no melted margarine.

(I'm not looking for suggestions here. Our family food issues are complicated, and we're not in a position to acquire anything we don't already have in the house.)
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It's been a while since I last posted video logging. March seems to be the most recent post, and I don't think that was complete. I'll be posting this in several pieces as I finish commenting. Sadly, it's been long enough that I don't remember all of these. There are also a lot of DNFs and a lot of things that I finished but didn't follow well. I'm not sure if the latter problem is me being exhausted and anxious/stressed or me not seeing and hearing all that well more generally. It might be a combination of both.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai )

All About Eve )

Aquaman )

Attack the Block )

Avengers: Endgame )

Boruto episodes 1-26 )

Burnt )

Colorful )

Damn Yankees )

Deadpool 2 )

Detective Pikachu )

Dial 'M' for Murder )

Doctor Who (2005) season 11 and Resolution )

Doom Patrol season 1 episode 1 )

Duck Tales )
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I've caught Scott's cold. I was really hoping that I'd escaped it. I've got sinus symptoms, and I'm groggy/light headed. I think that part of the problem is that I haven't gotten anything near enough sleep during the last week.

Last night, I ended up on the couch for the first few hours because I had reflux which may well have been the first cold symptom but equally may have been me not having eaten a reasonable dinner. Also, Scott wasn't using his c-pap, so he was snoring very loudly. I went back in at about 5 a.m. and slept more. When I got up, I felt exhausted. I ended up back in bed again after breakfast.

I'm probably going to have to make Cordelia get herself breakfast and pack her own lunch for a few days. It's not ideal because there's a choir concert this week. She'll be stuck at school after hours at least two days and tends to underestimate how much food she'll want.

We had four movies and a season set of DVDs come in at the library this week. Scott and I are halfway through watching the second movie. Cordelia's interested in the other two, so I'm not sure when we'll wedge them in, maybe not until next weekend. The season set has a two week checkout period, so it's got a bit more cushion. Also, I don't care if I see that. I got it because Scott was interested.
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Lunch today didn't go badly. I took a risk on a bento and didn't get sick. I couldn't eat the California roll that was included because of the cucumber, but Cordelia was happy to eat it, and I had plenty anyway.

I don't think Scott's sister's husband's father will be with us much longer. He's having health trouble and is 83.

I told our nephew that he should talk to Cordelia about East Lansing compared to Ann Arbor. She says she's not interested in MSU, but I'd like her to have that information anyway. Scott went there, and so did my sister.

I'm still taking notes on canon for both of those stories I mentioned a day or two ago. Both are going to require a lot of notes because I'm not looking for what happened but for how things were said and how things were described.

Scott and Cordelia went to see Captain Marvel yesterday. They both liked it a lot. I wish I could go and see it, but it's not worth a three day migraine.
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There was no school Tuesday due to freezing rain and no school Wednesday due to more snow on top of that. Cordelia and I managed to get most of the ice off of the main sidewalk on Tuesday because it was all at that point when the temperature is hovering right at freezing. We had rain coming down sometimes, and sleet at others.

The ice on the sidewalk was sufficiently porous that I could use a normal, flat-edged shovel to break it up. Cordelia had the snow shovel and couldn't make much headway because the shovel's not up to dealing with ice. I'd have put out ice melt, but the rain would have carried it away. We only had a fraction of a bag, and I thought we'd better save it for a point when it might actually work.

I had to go out for an appointment yesterday, and it was nasty enough that I didn't want to go down the hill to catch the direct bus to campus. Instead, I went downtown and transferred. Everything was slow and late, to the point that the trip took me twice as long as it would under normal circumstances (even with the extra time for going downtown and transferring).

My doctor's pleased by my general test results. My total cholesterol is a trifle higher than it ought to be, but the ratio of HDL to LDL is good. We're going to test again in six months. My A1c and triglycerides are down just a bit. I got my DTaP booster while I was there. I'd expected to have to make another trip for that, but they were able to do it with under a ten minute wait.

I didn't want to deal with the hill on the way home, either, and the timing was off for the stops that I'd normally have aimed for. The wind was bad enough that I didn't want to stand for longer than 5 minutes. I ended up taking 20-25 minutes to walk to the downtown bus station. I still had a wait there, but the station was open, and if it hadn't been, the library is a block away and across the street.

(There was a big warning on the bus website that they were planning to do emergency preparedness drills this week and that that might result in the station being closed but wouldn't affect bus service.)

My water bottle came open in my bag while I was on my way to my appointment, so my phone charger is now in a baggie with uncooked rice. I also may need to pay for the library book that was in there. It didn't get very wet and only got wet in two spots, so I've got it under two big books and an 8 pound weight to see if it flattens. I'm not entirely optimistic, though, because I'm almost certain that the bits that did get wet then froze.

The wet charger meant that I didn't play Ingress after the appointment. I really didn't want to be out in that weather with my phone dead. Circumstances that would have made a working phone necessary were extremely unlikely, but I thought that Scott and Cordelia might worry if my phone suddenly vanished from Life360.

Scott took Cordelia and one of her friends to a showing of Totoro last night. The general consensus seems to be that they prefer the dub that they grew up with rather than the subtitled version with the original voice actors. Also, Cordelia's friend just finished reading Howl's Moving Castle and much prefers the movie (which I take as supporting the idea that the movie's not a bad movie but rather a bad adaptation.
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We went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond last night to look for a reasonable wedge to let me have upper back support when sitting in bed. What we found isn't ideal because it's memory foam which the OT specifically recommended against, but it was half the price of the things I saw online.

We got ice cream at the Cold Stone Creamery in the same strip mall, and then Cordelia drove us home.

We finished watching Infinity War last night. I was kind of... unmoved. I don't know if it's because I was spoiled or if it was because I was looking away during the action scenes so as not to get a headache.

I did a little bit of writing yesterday, all on the Iddy Iddy Bang Bang story. The new chapter isn't working quite right yet. Part of the problem is that I know what's in the other character's head. I like some of what I wrote for that character in the first draft, but some of it-- much of it-- is stuff that my new POV character really won't know.
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I need go to the library tomorrow or Friday to return some things. It's something on my to-do list that I can get done. I want to do it today, but Scott and I have just a little more to watch of a DVD that's due Sunday. I don't want to make more than one trip. I've also got one graphic novel that I know I can finish quickly and eight longer books, half of which I've started and want to finish and half of which I should at least open to see if I want to read more. If I don't I can return them.

The holds are some DVD sets and some audiobooks that I want for our vacation. I got several audiobooks because I couldn't guess which ones Scott and I will both like. As to the DVD sets, I'm going to try season 1 of Elementary again now that I'm likely to be able to renew it if I'm still interested but not done with it. I also got a season of Murder She Wrote which I think might be something I can watch with Scott's parents in the same room (possibly even with them).

I was hoping to drag Scott to Target last night to look at pillow/bed wedge options, but he brought home Infinity War and felt he had to watch it right then. He hadn't gotten home until 6:30, and I then had to send him back out after toilet paper because we were completely out. We only got halfway through the movie before Cordelia and I called it a night, and I was really not in the mood to watch such a thing and appreciate the joy Scott and Cordelia find in it.

I'm still trying to figure out how to fix my Iddy Iddy Bang Bang draft. I'm pretty sure the chapter 3 is just a matter of making myself start. Chapter 2, however, is off in ways that I have no idea how to address because I'm not 100% sure what's wrong. I know the problem is there and even where it starts; I'm just not sure what the problem is. Unless I can figure that out, my best course is probably to hack out a big chunk of the chapter and try starting again before things go off track. The stuff I wrote is all true for the characters and is probably happening; it's just not what needs to be in the story.

Maybe I need a chapter 2.5? If I change POV, I think that might help. I'll lose some important thing from the current chapter if I write the second half from a different POV, but it might work in other ways.
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Yesterday had a lot of me starting to do things and then realizing that I was missing something that I would need someone else's help to obtain.

I did manage to back up a bunch of WIP and fragments to the DW account I use for that purpose. That hadn't been on my initial to-do list, but it counts as an accomplishment. I want to keep things backed up there constantly, but in practice, it happens in batches, so I kind of end up spamming the half dozen (or fewer) people who follow that account (I keep the stuff access locked so that no one stumbles on it and thinks it's meant to be complete).

Cordelia's friends are coming over this afternoon. I'm not sure what Scott and I will do. We need to do the library run, and I really would like to shop for some of the things the OT recommended.

Scott and Cordelia went to see Christopher Robin yesterday. Scott's work called mid-movie, so I had to call him, and he had to leave the movie to deal with the problem. The guy said he was from the warehouse, so it must have been either an issue with trailers or an issue with having too much or too little of something that's supposed to ship over the weekend.

Scott remarked that he understood the irony of being called out of this particular movie for off-hours work stuff. He also said that he expected the stuffed animals in the movie to be creepy but instead found them charming.

I spent a while talking to Scott's sister yesterday about planning for the family vacation. She's hoping that the fact that the rental claims to have a 'commercial kitchen' will mean at least two refrigerators (the listing only mentions the singular) and will have some sort of indoor grill. I told her that, while we might be that lucky, contingency plans couldn't hurt.

I also persuaded her that we need to buy any specifically gluten free and/or dairy free substitutes for things we know we're going to use and take them with us. I expect that there will be something available within a half hour drive that might work in a pinch, but I wouldn't want to rely on finding particular brands or even particular items. I have my own short list of things I want to buy here and transport because I need a specific brand rather than a more generic type of thing. That is, I'm good with English muffins or almonds of any brand, but I only know one brand of chicken sausage that's safe. If I don't have those, I'm suddenly down six meals.

I discovered last night that moving a three pound weight in particular ways on the side with the bad shoulder makes it not hurt for about twenty minutes afterward. I guess I'm going to be doing that a lot. It only takes about thirty seconds, so the tradeoff is more than worth it.
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I need to finish my research about candidates in tomorrow's primary. There are a couple of races that I haven't made up my mind about yet. I'm just tired enough that it probably won't happen tonight.

I got through my library CDs today and tried the two movies I had checked out. One of them needed a the-dog-dies warning. The other, I can't put my finger on why it didn't work for me, but I really couldn't follow what on earth was happening or who was who. I tried the one I couldn't follow first, so it wasn't just that I was too tired to follow anything or even just that the dishwasher running made things harder (I had captions for both movies).

Scott and I just took the photographs of my sleeping positions. Now I need to get him to send them to me so that I can send them to the OT. I've got her email address, but maybe sending through the patient portal might be better. I don't know. I'll have to check whether or not sending to her there is even an option. It's not great about letting me send things to folks who aren't MDs.

Today was my last PT session. I still have the issues I went in for, but I now have some exercises that help a bit. The elbow issues might even be solvable, long term. The hands and shoulder, sadly, are going to be lifelong campaigns.

I haven't done much writing today, just a little noodling to see if I can find a voice for a different POV in the DCU mini bang story. I will probably only keep a little bit of this stuff, a line here, a line there.

Right. It's 8:30 here. I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm having trouble keeping my head up.
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Yesterday, I read library books and edited bits of the Sky High story. That's now almost 89K words (124 words short). I made a couple of false starts on another chapter for it that I know I need. I suspect this will be one that requires a lot of going back and yanking things out because they just don't fit together right.

Scott made it to the games library day and seems to have had fun with it. He and Cordelia did the library run but somehow managed not to check out one of my holds. They brought it home, and I'm now done with it, but they failed to check it out. I will be downtown on Thursday, and I may wait to return it until then, but I'd like to get it back sooner, so I don't know. It's a CD. I listened to it last night and didn't like it much. There's another hold on it, so somebody's going to be waiting for it.

I'm not sure why Scott and Cordelia aren't more careful when checking out my stuff. At least once a month, there's something not actually checked out, something left on the shelf, or something brought home that doesn't have my name on it. The screen will actually tell you what's going on in that direction as you scan things to check them out. It gives an error message when you try to take something that's not yours, and it counts down the number of still to be checked out but available for check out holds.

Scott and I are watching the first DVD of No Ordinary Family from Netflix. We have three episodes left on the DVD, but our time to watch is constrained by Cordelia not being interested, by other things Scott wants to watch, and by my difficulties being in the living room when it's hot. This week is supposed to stay relatively cool, so maybe we'll manage more.

I have four library CDs left to listen to and two movies on DVD. I also have the rest of season 4 of Person of Interest and the first DVD of some other series from Netflix. Person of Interest will need the most time since I've only watched the first four episodes of the season, but I will probably try the movies before that. Neither are all that long, and one of them is something I'm pretty sure I won't finish.

Which reminds me that I need to neaten up and post my DVD logging. That's starting to get long. I've got a list of single DVD things that the library has that I want to try. I suspect that a lot will end up being DNFs, but as they're library items, I don't feel particularly bad when I sample something that looks potentially iffy in terms of whether or not I'll like it and then only get ten minutes in.

The school year is almost over. I'm looking forward to being able to sleep in a bit. I don't know how Scott will adjust his schedule. I don't think he needs to get up quite so early if it's just him getting ready. He currently spends about half of his time hanging out with us and watching whatever Cordelia's got on. He could easily sleep another half hour to an hour and still get out the door on time.

I haven't signed Cordelia up for a driver's training class yet because of the expense. We need to get the loan finalized, and I need to make Scott actually look at the options and the prices and the state requirements. I can't commit $450 without his input as to whether or not we have it to spare. I also can't commit to it without Cordelia's input on scheduling. I need the answers by the end of this week at the latest (I'm not even sure there are still openings in the classes I'm looking at).

I think that Cordelia's simply not all that interested, and that Scott doesn't understand the amount of time required for each step. 120 hours of driving is a hell of a lot when it's coming in less than an hour a day. I can't see Scott routinely giving more than an hour a day to sitting in the car while Cordelia drives. There's likely to be a point when we're all okay with me as the licensed driver riding with her, but that will probably be very late in her learning time. Also, our car is with Scott all day, so it's not that I can take her out while he's working.

As far as I can tell, Scott hasn't even looked at the driver's training information I emailed him even though I've prompted him on it more than once. I would settle for him just saying that he knows I've looked at it and is willing to accept my decision. The only class possible this year starts on the 18th of this month. The. Only. One. Because of Cordelia's other time commitments there aren't going to be any other options for it until June 2019. Which will mean her not finishing the program until some time in 2020. Assuming we can make the timing and financing work then.
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It's 80F in here which is as warm as we generally let it get. The bedroom is cooler than the living room which is cooler than the dining room (ceiling fans in all three). The kitchen and bathroom are unbearable. I'm in the living room because I've got library DVDs I need to get through.

Scott and Cordelia and some of Cordelia's friends have gone to see Solo. The official start time was about ten minutes ago, so I don't expect them back for a while.

My current plan for after this DVD is done is to try to get the dishes out of the sink and into the dishwasher and then move myself and my laptop into the bedroom. At that point, I'm not sure what I'll do. I've still got at least an hour and a half before I can sleep. I've got library books I'd like to finish, but I'm not sure my eyes will focus that well.

A couple of packages addressed to me arrived today, but as I haven't ordered anything, I thought I should wait and open them tomorrow, on my birthday.

I need to check with Cordelia to make sure that all of the paperwork she needs for various summer things is actually done. She needs at least one form that will require a signature from her doctor, and I'm 95% sure that neither she nor Scott have done anything about it yet. I think those forms might actually need to be in next week, so waiting isn't a great idea.
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I have now watched Black Panther. It was a perfectly good MCU movie and was doing things other movies haven't.

Sadly, my main takeaway had zero to do with the movie as a work and rather a lot to do with my own disabilities. There were a lot of scenes that I couldn't watch because my eyes and brain couldn't process the movement. On a smaller screen than our TV, I might still be able to, but it's confirmation of something I'd suspected for a while but hoped wasn't happening.

The first time I noticed this sort of problem with a movie in a theater was watching The Last Emperor in college. The last movie I watched in a theater was the first Harry Potter movie. That left me in bed with a migraine for three days.

The last year or two (definitely at least since we got Wonder Woman), I've been less able to get myself to watch superhero DVDs and TV. I'd realized that some of it was that I lost track of what was happening very easily. I just wasn't sure if it was me not paying enough attention or me protecting myself by not paying attention. (Which is a distinction that may not make sense to everybody but is a real thing.)

Watching Black Panther, there were a lot of times when I just had to shut my eyes because the speed of things on the screen hurt. I deliberately left the room during some of the fight scenes.

Watching the movie on my laptop might help since going smaller generally has in the past. There's a limit though as things on my phone screen tend to be too small for me to follow. I don't know. Scott bought the Blu-ray, though, because he wanted the extras and because he perceives a difference in how Blu-rays look/sound that I simply don't.

Given the past progression and the fact that TVs keep getting bigger, I expect I don't have more than a decade left of watching anything on a screen the size of our TV. Even things that are relatively static will probably get to a point of overwhelming me. Wearing an eyepatch in movies bought me a few years of movie watching, so I'll look into getting one.
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I've been doing a very little writing this week. Most of it has been editing. I made myself go back to my Vialle (Chronicles of Amber) series to try to make the incomplete third story fit with the second story that I wrote well after I started the third story. "Neither Angry nor Kind" left Vialle with more power by an order of magnitude or three than she'd had at the end of "The Wisdom that You Brought." Her using that power would make the situation in the 5K words I have so far in the third story seem unlikely.

I have a couple of ideas about why she might choose not to use that extra power immediately, but I had wanted her to get out of the situation by being clever and creative. I'm not sure, though, that I can get away with not firing the gun on the mantel by the end of the play. I could AU things and have the stuff in the current second fic not have happened in the backstory for the third story, but "Neither Angry nor Kind" is now part of my headcanon for Vialle, and I can't seem to let it go.

I'm still very, very tired. My current plan is to shower after I post this (and while there are other people in the house). After that, we'll probably do the library run. I've set that as my goal for physical activity today. It's a bit more than the trip to the bank, so I expect I'll be exhausted and shaky after, but I have to move a bit or I'm not going to get stronger.

Scott and Cordelia intend to see Infinity War again today. There's another showing about every fifteen minutes, so we're not too worried about the timing on it.

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