(no subject)

Right now, I have a brief break in a busy day. The business is almost all stuff for Delia's pre-school and will last late into the evening.

Things start up again at 2:30 when I'll have a parent-teacher conference. I don't expect to hear anything startling (of course, the unexpected is the definition of startling...). Then I'll get the large cooler out of another mother's car and drag it inside to wait until I'm ready for its contents. After that, I'll pick up Delia and cherydactyl's younger daughter and take them over to the Union. Delia and I will probably hang out there a little bit before heading out to get some dinner. Pre-school ends at three, and we have to be back here at five-thirty so that I can set up stuff for the auction.

I'm providing some refreshments for the auction and working the welcome table. I'll have fifteen minutes to get my food out of the cooler and into the serving dishes (which are also currently in the cooler. Of course). I've made fudge and cheese spread. I probably could have gotten away with just one or the other, but if I had to haul the cooler anyway, I figured I'd rather carry a bit extra. Also, this makes it possible that there'll be leftovers from one or the other.

At five forty-five, I sit down to staff the 'welcome table.' I'm a little dismayed to see that that's actually *in* the social hall. I'd expected that it would be outside the door. I really, really don't want to be in the room during the auction because it's the sort of thing that could easily make my anxiety go through the roof even though I'm not planning to bid on anything. Oh, well. My fault for volunteering. I just thought that, since I had to be there anyway, I should be useful.

There's free babysitting for the kids of those volunteering, so Delia will probably have a grand time. It'll be in the normal pre-school space, a familiar space, even if all the kids aren't known quantities for her (and some of them will be).

Almost all of the people I invited to the auction declined. Scott's parents decided not to come down because the timing meant that we couldn't *do* anything with them around the auction. I'm a little peeved about that because the point of the auction is fundraising for something that matters a great deal to Delia, but... ::sighs::

I need to stay in the building until the end of the auction so that I can take my dishes and leftovers home and be sure not to lose anything. Our everyday china pattern was discontinued years ago, so replacing pieces is expensive and a little nerve wracking, but I don't have anything else to use. (We were asked to make sure things looked nice and tasted good. The idea being to show some respect for the people coming to spend money to help our school break even and to make the whole experience as pleasant as possible.)

I'm hoping that I won't have to stay at the welcome table all night. I have my laptop with me. I could write or watch DVDs or even work on stuff in the pre-school-- I need to property stamp a lot of books in the library.

Sadly, my writing energy seems to have dried up again. I've asked Scott to try to help me find at least a six hour time block this weekend for working on my Yuletide fic. I haven't managed to put a single word down yet. I have a hugely clichéd opening sentence in mind. I'd rather not use it, but I probably will just because I can't fix what I haven't written. I need to force myself past my current exhaustion and feeling that I'm writing nothing but crap. After all, even if my Yuletide fic turns out to be crap, it's crap that I've promised to deliver. I want it to be better than that. I want it to be beautiful and powerful or, at least, close to what my recipient wants.

I'll just get through tonight. Tomorrow, I can worry about finding spoons for writing more than a stream of consciousness babbling.

Scott's still got his cold, but he's a lot better, and he isn't expecting to have to work. He would like to go to UCon, and I'd like to let him. Heck, I'd like to go, too. I'm just not sure there's anything going on that would interest me. The whole not playing board games or card games due to panicking kind of cuts downs on things. At any rate, it's a lot more likely that I'll be home with Delia while he goes than that he'll be home alone with Delia while I go. I can't even get back and forth to the con without help, and he can drive.

Bah. I'm whining. Sorry about that. I think I'm simply tired and stressed.

I've been working on a list of things that attract me to stories and things that repel me from stories. It's interesting to do. I can come up with a lot more repelling factors than I can attracting factors. I'm also sure that I'm missing some things from the list. I've been keeping the document open, adding to it as I think of things and commenting on entries when I have a minute or three to spare.

I started the list to try to figure out my own preferences. Also, I was feeling cranky because I wanted to read a wonderful fic or novel that would push all of my narrative buttons but was too tired to search for one or to accept one that I'd read before. One thing that's clear from the list-- I've got some very abrupt dividing lines between things that attract me and things that repel me. Somebody other than me might not even be able to predict which way I'd go on a story.

Time to post so that I can go to the conference. Wish me luck!