(no subject)

The last two days have been a bit crazy. Okay, the last couple of weeks have been crazy, too, what with Cordelia's birthday and all, but I remember the last two days clearly at the moment.

Scott's father got clearance from his doctor (after cataract surgery) to come and help Scott with some long overdue yard work. They spent Thursday afternoon pruning the trees and bushes in the back yard so that Cordelia won't hit anything when she uses her swingset and so that we can see her when she's back in the bushes.

I feel a little bad taking away the jungle of bushes there because she had a lot of fun with them, but I also understand Scott's worry about not seeing her. He did leave one bit of bushes in the corner where she can have a secret hideout of sorts. It's behind the forsythia bush, however, and may vanish if the forsythia bush doesn't come back next year. I don't think it bloomed this year, and Scott says it's nearly dead. There's no apparent reason, so I'm assuming age, but I don't know.

They chipped some of the stuff they pruned, but a lot of it is waiting to dry out a bit because the leaves jam the chipper while they're fresh. I'm hoping we'll get some reasonable mulch out of it because that will decrease what we need to buy.

Scott's mother came down, too. She wanted to try visiting a few of the local grocery stores to see what sort of gluten free foods she could find. We went to the Whole Foods on Washtenaw and then went on to Hillers. Whole Foods proved to have better prices and a better selection. I expect that, for future purchases, she'll let us know what she needs (or wants) and we'll buy it and bring it up the next time we visit. We're probably going to do the same thing with some goat's milk ice cream for Scott's father. He has trouble with cow's milk, so we keep our eyes open for new (to us) products made with goat or sheep milk.

After the two grocery stores, Cordelia and I went with Scott's mother to Marshall's. It hadn't been part of the original plan, but we finished at Hillers at five. We knew that driving back to our house would be unpleasant right then. Scott's mother wanted to do some shopping with me anyway as I'd never managed to come up with a birthday wishlist for her.

The visit to Marshall's was actually useful. I got three dresses for Cordelia for $23 and tax. I got three shirts for me which gives me the option of wearing something other than dresses once in a while. Scott's mother got me a purse and a fourth shirt. The purse was hard to find and was the only acceptable option on the racks. I run into the problems of needing large carrying capacity without wanting to go to briefcase size, a shoulder strap rather than a hand strap, and inner pockets.

The shirts were less difficult but more time consuming. I tried on fourteen shirts. Three were immediately rejected while most ended up in the limbo of if-I'm-desperate-enough. I'm reasonably happy with the four I ended up with even though I only love one of them. I seem to be in a frustrating category of size in that a shirt that will fit at the hips without needing to be bunched up at my waist will almost certainly be too big in the shoulders. Even then, it may end up too tight across my chest.

I was dead on my feet by the time we got done. After Scott's parents left, I didn't move for about an hour. Eventually, I manage to stumble around to get myself something to eat, and that helped. Scott had fed himself and Cordelia, but he assumed that I wasn't up to eating because I made an incoherent negative noise when he asked if I was hungry. I wasn't hungry. I was too tired to be. I just desperately needed to eat something and couldn't manage to say that.

Scott and I have since had a discussion about the desirability of putting food in front of me when I'm exhausted even if I say I'm not hungry. With luck, he'll remember the next time it comes up. I generally don't let myself get to that point, so he hasn't had a lot of practice.

Yesterday, Scott's father came again, about eleven and stayed until about three. They finished laying the foundation for the last of the raised beds (we're discussing making a fourth one to cover the bald spot left on the lawn by the pallet of bricks that sat there for two years, but we haven't decided. I'm reluctant because I fear starting it and having it take another two years. Then again, Scott's father is retired now and may have more time to help. I don't know).

Scott's sister came over with her two kids. Her family's birthday present to me was help with weeding the beds near the back door. I'd tried, but I wasn't strong enough and could only manage a few inches anyway. I need to get some mulch to put down so that the weeds have a harder time coming back.

Scott's sister took Cordelia overnight, but the evening Scott and I had planned ended up not working out due to him having heat exhaustion. He had his water bottle with him out there, but he didn't drink. He says he couldn't reach it easily from where he was working.

I'm planning to emphasize to everyone that these specific helping out sorts of gifts are actually much more wonderful than gifts of things. I mean, I'll be glad to have that purse from my mother-in-law, but I can get *things* for myself. I can't dig up stubborn weeds. I can't build a ramp or bookshelves (gifts in years past). I can't make a raised flowerbed. I can't get to Marshall's or Whole Foods without help. (The fact that I loathe shopping of the sort I did at Marshall's doesn't mean that I don't need to do it or that help doing it isn't a tremendous gift. I won't set out to go to such a place without a push from someone else, and the agoraphobia isn't nearly as bad if I'm with another adult I trust. That trip out, little as I wanted to go, was a huge gift.)

Some time in the next few days, we need to do some shopping. We're out of bricks. Finishing the walls of the raised bed won't take long once we have them. Scott and his father did the really hard work yesterday. We also need soil and mulch and plants. I know there were a couple of other things that I thought of yesterday, but I've lost them. Oh, well.

Tomorrow, we'll be at Scott's parents' place for the second family gathering of the month. I need to figure out what food we're taking. I think Scott's mother requested a vegetable, but Scott thinks we were supposed to bring a dessert. Either way, we're going to need a trip to the store to buy whatever it is.

(no subject)

Cordelia has had three dental appointments in the last month and a half, the cleaning and then two separate appointments for fillings and sealing her six year molars. The last appointment was nearly two weeks ago, but I don't think I've mentioned it before.

( Moderate dental details )

I saw the neurologist last Monday about my migraines. It was a fast appointment and actually started on time which surprised me. We're not fiddling with any medications this time. I was glad that he understood that one medication change (the Geodon) at a time is more than enough.

I saw the psychiatrist on Tuesday. She wants me to increase the Geodon soon. I'm currently taking 20 mg at night, and she'd like me to be taking 40 mg, either all at once, in the evening, or 20 mg twice a day. Right now, she's leaning more toward 40 mg once a day, but it will depend on what I seem to tolerate best.

She suggested that taking the Geodon earlier in the evening might help the morning exhaustion. I'm currently trying to remember to take the Geodon about an hour before my normal bedtime. That does seem to help. Well, either it helps or I'm getting used to the medication. Either is possible.

I'm drinking about the same amount of water, I think. I'm just drinking small amounts more frequently while I used to have larger amounts two or three times a day. (Our big glasses hold about 24 oz. If I use one of those, I have to leave it on the counter in the kitchen if I don't finish it quickly. There's simply no safe place to put a glass down in the living room.)

I still don't know if the medication is helping my anxiety at all. The week has gone by too rapidly, and there's been too much upheaval.

And I still haven't written any of the fic. That may happen tonight. That may happen tomorrow night. That may not happen at all. I don't know. I didn't get more than about four hours of sleep last night. I was too busy worrying about Scott, listening to him sleep, and wishing that the supplementary medication I'd taken for reflux would kick in. I don't know if the heartburn was due to dinner or due to stress. I suspect a combination. I had a sauceless pizza, and that's usually moderately safe, but....

::looks out the window:: I wish it would rain. Then I could stop thinking that I need to water my outdoor plants. I've put dill in my three empty planters, and the dirt in there dries out very, very rapidly. I almost think I need to water them more than once a day. Twenty-four hours is long enough to produce fissures in the soil.

After Tuesday, I'm going to work on my closet and my to-be-read shelves and stacks. I have clothes that I'll never wear again and could use the space getting rid of them would produce. I also have so many books waiting to be read that I don't know what I've got. Sorting them by size works well for stability of the piles but not so well for me knowing what I have when I'm in a particular mood.