(no subject)

I'm worried. I've been draggingly tired again the last several days, since about Thursday. That's after three or four days of feeling mostly okay. I have no idea what to do except to work at keeping going. Caffeine and sugar and fat aren't helping much (if at all), nor is the Provigil. Well, they might be helping. If they are, I hate to thing where I'd be without them.

I'm trying to figure out how to get in to see my doctor. Tomorrow, I see my psychiatrist (and I'm terrified of dealing with that since I'll have to bring Cordelia along. That would be exhausting even if all were well). A week from Wednesday, I have a mammogram. I'm using up my primary babysitting option for the mammogram. Why does school have to wait until after Labor Day? Why do my in-laws have to be away for several weeks right now?

I feel rather like there's a heavy, sagging weight in my torso, one that's sending out sedatives to my head and limbs. I want nothing more than to sleep for hours.

I suspect that ragweed is contributing to the problem. Not only is it currently blooming, but it's been cool enough that our air conditioner isn't running. That means I'm breathing unfiltered air. Sad that I need filtration.

My baseline anxiety has been twisting to new highs (or lows, maybe). I'm having trouble putting aside all the worries that I can't do anything about. They're worries about things that would be real disasters if they happened-- Scott losing his job. Scott dying. Cordelia becoming extremely ill. The house burning down.

I've also been feeling bloated and awkward, like my body's changed. I'm pushing myself to do a bit of time on the treadmill every day now. That only amounts to two days since the end of science center camp, but I figure that, if I can do that walk, I can manage some treadmill time. Goodness knows I need it.

I hope the exhaustion lifts soon. I'm at the point of bouncing my feet and biting my fingers to stay awake. Reading is too hard half the time, and I have to just forget about writing or thinking.

(no subject)

I'm worried. I've been draggingly tired again the last several days, since about Thursday. That's after three or four days of feeling mostly okay. I have no idea what to do except to work at keeping going. Caffeine and sugar and fat aren't helping much (if at all), nor is the Provigil. Well, they might be helping. If they are, I hate to thing where I'd be without them.

I'm trying to figure out how to get in to see my doctor. Tomorrow, I see my psychiatrist (and I'm terrified of dealing with that since I'll have to bring Cordelia along. That would be exhausting even if all were well). A week from Wednesday, I have a mammogram. I'm using up my primary babysitting option for the mammogram. Why does school have to wait until after Labor Day? Why do my in-laws have to be away for several weeks right now?

I feel rather like there's a heavy, sagging weight in my torso, one that's sending out sedatives to my head and limbs. I want nothing more than to sleep for hours.

I suspect that ragweed is contributing to the problem. Not only is it currently blooming, but it's been cool enough that our air conditioner isn't running. That means I'm breathing unfiltered air. Sad that I need filtration.

My baseline anxiety has been twisting to new highs (or lows, maybe). I'm having trouble putting aside all the worries that I can't do anything about. They're worries about things that would be real disasters if they happened-- Scott losing his job. Scott dying. Cordelia becoming extremely ill. The house burning down.

I've also been feeling bloated and awkward, like my body's changed. I'm pushing myself to do a bit of time on the treadmill every day now. That only amounts to two days since the end of science center camp, but I figure that, if I can do that walk, I can manage some treadmill time. Goodness knows I need it.

I hope the exhaustion lifts soon. I'm at the point of bouncing my feet and biting my fingers to stay awake. Reading is too hard half the time, and I have to just forget about writing or thinking.