(no subject)

I ended up spending three times as long at the credit union as I'd expected, but I think things are straightened out at this point. I hope so, anyway.

At that point, I should have gone and gotten lunch, but I kept doing just one more Ingress mission and then realized that it was almost 3 p.m. and that, if I got food, I'd have to start my levothyroxine fast late. If I just went home without eating, I could take the damned pill and eat half an hour after. I got home around 4 p.m. and ate at 4:30.

I did seven Ingress missions and hacked and captured some new to me portals. I have almost enough AP to advance to level 12, but I'm a very, very long way from the badges I need for that. None of the ones that are currently silver are much more than halfway to what I need for gold, and it's taken me years to get to the halfway point, so... I may be level 11 for a couple more years.

I overslept this morning, falling back to sleep after Scott got up even though I needed to be up not long after in order to help Cordelia with breakfast. Scott's time-to-leave-the-house alarm woke me at 7:00 which meant we had 45 minutes before Cordelia needed to leave. She had gotten up at 6:30 and then fallen asleep again on the couch. She was a bit indignant when I asked her if she'd eaten yet. Preparing her breakfast on early mornings is apparently Not Her Job.

I had had trouble falling asleep because I was stressed out about today's doctor's appointment. I fell asleep some time after 12:47 a.m. (when I got up and went to the bathroom), about an hour and a half after Scott finally shut his laptop and stopped watching West Wing.

When I got out of bed, I was exceedingly groggy. I managed to get the kettle going for my tea, but I couldn't figure out how to make the toaster oven (which we've owned longer than Cordelia has been alive) work. I couldn't get the buttons and their labels to come into visual focus, and I couldn't remember the proper sequence for pre-heating and setting the timer.

Three swallows of honey sweetened tea, and I was steady again and suddenly had zero trouble with the toaster oven. By the time I had had breakfast, I was fully awake.

evalerie gave me a ride to my endocrinology appointment. The doctor was running late, so I sat in the examination room, waiting for him, for an hour. He did a bunch of poking and prodding me while having me do various things.

He didn't actually say that my primary care doctor needs to chill the fuck out about my A1c, but that's the subtext I got from what he said. He puts my odds of developing type 2 diabetes at 'low.' He said that my A1c should not be checked more than once a year from here on (my pcp has been doing it every three months) and that I should keep eating as I have been and exercising as I can. He said that giving me metformin to begin with had been unnecessary and that he found no signs of any other hormonal issues.

My suspicion about my primary care doctor is that she knows my health is crappy but can't really help and so has focused on the A1c as a controllable variable, something she actually has tools to address. I think she keeps hoping that she can find a key to solve everything because she can tell that things are broken. I'm glad that she's still willing to try and that she'll pursue avenues for trying to make things better.

I'd like that magic solution, too.

I was more than a little surprised that the endocrinologist didn't lecture me about my weight or try to terrify me about dire health consequences for not Eating Right and Exercising. He actually seemed to listen when I explained that a lot of my every day function is a balancing act to keep ten different physical things from falling out of balance to the point that my body breaks down (or my mind does). I told him that my coping strategies are working less well as I get older and as I get hit by serious acute issues and that I know that the whole thing will crash eventually. I just don't see a way to balance all of this crap in a different way. If someone offered me suggestions that didn't bang into other things that are broken, I'd be all over it.

I kind of live in terror of having two or more things crash all at once because, when that happens, addressing any one issue will make at least one other issue worse. I can't temporarily not have asthma or not have sleep problems or not have hypermobile joints in the same way that I can stop eating strawberries or avoid secondhand cigarette smoke.

I did a little bit of Ingress and walking at the Domino Farms complex while I waited for evalerie to pick me up after my appointment. I'd expected to have more time for it, so I only did about a third of what I'd hoped to.