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Dec. 23rd, 2018 01:22 pmI still have the headache from yesterday. I never managed to get rid of it entirely. It's not as bad now as it was, but I'm expecting that it will get worse. I'll be surprised if I can kick it before Thursday morning. I'm really not sure what to do about it because there's no way at all to avoid the stressors or to deal with any bits of those things sooner.
I'm pretty sure that food anxiety is part of it. I have to figure out something portable that I can take for dinner tomorrow night. Everyone else will be having pizza, but I can't risk it that late in the day. I could have naked crust with no sauce, no cheese, no toppings. The risk of ordering pizza and having them put seasoning on it is just too high. I've requested no seasoning before only to discover that the person making the pizza didn't consider oregano and/or garlic seasoning.
If I'm just going to have bread, I'd rather bring my own. Right now, I'm thinking that I'll take that some tuna and make a sandwich. It will be unappealing, especially while everyone else is eating pizza and chocolate cake. I suspect that a chunk of what's causing my headache is anticipating feeling miserable about my food options. I won't have the option of toasting my English muffin unless I do it 2-3 hours before dinner.
Food on Christmas will be equally fraught, and the gathering is always horribly tedious for me. I have to be social with people who aren't particularly interested in me. They want me there because I'm supposed to be but don't want me to be noticeable. We're all supposed to enjoy the gathering because it's Christmas. It's one of Scott's rare opportunities to play board games, so we tend to stay a very long time.
Cordelia's the youngest of the children, so it's no longer about watching the kids having fun which makes it harder. This year, though, it is about being there for Scott's mother. She's starting radiation soon, and there might be further surgery on the horizon.
I made our Christmas porridge yesterday. It's in the fridge now, and we'll reheat it Christmas morning. For some reason, this year, the porridge didn't cook properly in the Instant Pot. When I tried to release pressure, after seven minutes of letting it release gradually, I got milk fountaining out through the valve. It was spectacular and unexpected. The pot had only been half full.
I'm pretty sure that food anxiety is part of it. I have to figure out something portable that I can take for dinner tomorrow night. Everyone else will be having pizza, but I can't risk it that late in the day. I could have naked crust with no sauce, no cheese, no toppings. The risk of ordering pizza and having them put seasoning on it is just too high. I've requested no seasoning before only to discover that the person making the pizza didn't consider oregano and/or garlic seasoning.
If I'm just going to have bread, I'd rather bring my own. Right now, I'm thinking that I'll take that some tuna and make a sandwich. It will be unappealing, especially while everyone else is eating pizza and chocolate cake. I suspect that a chunk of what's causing my headache is anticipating feeling miserable about my food options. I won't have the option of toasting my English muffin unless I do it 2-3 hours before dinner.
Food on Christmas will be equally fraught, and the gathering is always horribly tedious for me. I have to be social with people who aren't particularly interested in me. They want me there because I'm supposed to be but don't want me to be noticeable. We're all supposed to enjoy the gathering because it's Christmas. It's one of Scott's rare opportunities to play board games, so we tend to stay a very long time.
Cordelia's the youngest of the children, so it's no longer about watching the kids having fun which makes it harder. This year, though, it is about being there for Scott's mother. She's starting radiation soon, and there might be further surgery on the horizon.
I made our Christmas porridge yesterday. It's in the fridge now, and we'll reheat it Christmas morning. For some reason, this year, the porridge didn't cook properly in the Instant Pot. When I tried to release pressure, after seven minutes of letting it release gradually, I got milk fountaining out through the valve. It was spectacular and unexpected. The pot had only been half full.
