Oh cool, I did the commenting thing -- just on something minor in the Luke POV. When you change the document you can click "resolve" and the comment in the margin goes away. (I tried to delete the first one I did but couldn't figure out how, so I clicked resolve and it moves into the comment button in the upper right corner)
Not sure what's bothering you about Luke's characterization. And of course I'm not the best judge of that anyway, not knowing the canon. Is he too smart in understanding Merlin's motives and what his actions mean and such? Or is that okay because he's been there for so long, or is really attuned to Merlin, etc.
Luke never went through anything like this in the books, right? Obviously his character will be affected in some ways by such traumatic experiences, so maybe he'll feel OOC to you but he's really just evolving?
The pronoun switching makes sense to me, even in the same paragraph like when Luke's remembering male Merlin in the past but then thinking about the present female Merlin. And since you convey Luke's confusion early on too I doubt a reader would get confused by it.
I read Garden Our Shadows too but that one's got a lot of stuff that's over my head :)
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Date: 2016-10-27 04:47 am (UTC)Not sure what's bothering you about Luke's characterization. And of course I'm not the best judge of that anyway, not knowing the canon. Is he too smart in understanding Merlin's motives and what his actions mean and such? Or is that okay because he's been there for so long, or is really attuned to Merlin, etc.
Luke never went through anything like this in the books, right? Obviously his character will be affected in some ways by such traumatic experiences, so maybe he'll feel OOC to you but he's really just evolving?
The pronoun switching makes sense to me, even in the same paragraph like when Luke's remembering male Merlin in the past but then thinking about the present female Merlin. And since you convey Luke's confusion early on too I doubt a reader would get confused by it.
I read Garden Our Shadows too but that one's got a lot of stuff that's over my head :)