In canon, Merlin was imprisoned in the cave for about a month. Jasra sent a couple of not particularly competent minions to open the cave. There's no indication in the text as to what Jasra meant to do with Merlin, but she took no precautions at all, made no effort to do anything to make sure that Merlin wouldn't be able to fight.
So Merlin escapes, almost capturing Jasra in the process. Later on, Merlin helps Luke make peace with the rest of their family in Amber, and Luke helps Merlin deal with further plot developments as the series progresses.
There are indications later on that the author intended Jasra to be competent, ruthless, and intelligent. You definitely wouldn't get that from this particular incident.
In the Luke POV fragment, I'm not actually concerned that Luke is OOC. I'm more wondering about Merlin. She's initially demanding something that could be taken as OOC, and then she lets it go more easily than maybe she should. I'm not sure if all of that would occur to Luke or not or if there's a way I can make Merlin's thought processes less opaque while still staying in Luke's POV.
Garden Our Shadows is probably going to develop into Merlin starting to open up to people outside of his fortress again, and I can see how all of the references to various characters would be confusing. I'm willing to explain if you think it might help, but you can probably just skip reading that if you'd rather.
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Date: 2016-10-27 07:39 pm (UTC)So Merlin escapes, almost capturing Jasra in the process. Later on, Merlin helps Luke make peace with the rest of their family in Amber, and Luke helps Merlin deal with further plot developments as the series progresses.
There are indications later on that the author intended Jasra to be competent, ruthless, and intelligent. You definitely wouldn't get that from this particular incident.
In the Luke POV fragment, I'm not actually concerned that Luke is OOC. I'm more wondering about Merlin. She's initially demanding something that could be taken as OOC, and then she lets it go more easily than maybe she should. I'm not sure if all of that would occur to Luke or not or if there's a way I can make Merlin's thought processes less opaque while still staying in Luke's POV.
Garden Our Shadows is probably going to develop into Merlin starting to open up to people outside of his fortress again, and I can see how all of the references to various characters would be confusing. I'm willing to explain if you think it might help, but you can probably just skip reading that if you'd rather.