(no subject)

[the_rck]

Tuesday, Scott, Cordelia and I went to the Detroit Science Center so that Scott could see the Star Trek exhibit. Driving there reminded me of why I seldom travel and of why living in a larger city than Ann Arbor has always seemed like a Bad Idea. There were too many big buildings, too many people, too much of everything. Of course, part of that was that I was navigator for the trip. I couldn't hide.

We got lucky in that they had an Amigo available when we got there. I'd been resigned to a wheelchair. Paying an extra $5 in order have control of my own movement was nothing.

We went through the exhibit backwards due to Scott having assumed that was where it started and the woman working there not telling us we were in the wrong place. My suspicion is that she saw how much trouble I had getting off the elevator and didn't want to make me get back on it to go down to the entrance. Or maybe she just wasn't thinking.

The exhibit was smaller than Scott or I had hoped but was still bigger than Cordelia wanted. She was vaguely interested but had no idea why anybody would care about what she was seeing. She was very happy to go on to other things while Scott wanted to go back to look some more.

I ended up taking her to the Fun Factory area while Scott went back to the Star Trek exhibit. That proved a good pick as there were bits that she would have happily played with for hours. We even went back there later, after we'd been through the rest of the building.

I'm glad that I took a sedative before going out. I was still on edge most of the time we were out. Many of the exhibits weren't friendly to someone using a scooter or a chair. There were a couple of things that I couldn't get near and several that I couldn't see properly while seated. The restroom we used was relatively inaccessible. I couldn't have opened the door while seated in the Amigo, and I'm not sure I could have maneuvered through the opening. As it was, I left the Amigo with Scott and went on foot.

I mainly went on the trip because I realized how much I didn't want to go, how frightening I found the idea. Giving in to anxiety makes it stronger. Fighting it doesn't necessarily decrease it, but it holds ground. I also didn't want Scott on his own with Cordelia. If I'd been in a wheelchair, I'd have been less useful in supervising her than I was with the Amigo (mostly because I wouldn't be able to move without help from Scott), but with the Amigo, I was able to keep up with her when Scott wanted time to try other things.

Comments

[lady-of-mists.livejournal.com]

I hope that Scott had a good time and that you did as well -- it sounds like Cordelia did. :)

[the_rck]

I think Scott and Cordelia had fun. I mostly felt accomplished because I didn't chicken out or melt down. I wish that weren't such an a big deal, but it definitely is.