(no subject)
Aug. 24th, 2009 01:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckI'm worried. I've been draggingly tired again the last several days, since about Thursday. That's after three or four days of feeling mostly okay. I have no idea what to do except to work at keeping going. Caffeine and sugar and fat aren't helping much (if at all), nor is the Provigil. Well, they might be helping. If they are, I hate to thing where I'd be without them.
I'm trying to figure out how to get in to see my doctor. Tomorrow, I see my psychiatrist (and I'm terrified of dealing with that since I'll have to bring Cordelia along. That would be exhausting even if all were well). A week from Wednesday, I have a mammogram. I'm using up my primary babysitting option for the mammogram. Why does school have to wait until after Labor Day? Why do my in-laws have to be away for several weeks right now?
I feel rather like there's a heavy, sagging weight in my torso, one that's sending out sedatives to my head and limbs. I want nothing more than to sleep for hours.
I suspect that ragweed is contributing to the problem. Not only is it currently blooming, but it's been cool enough that our air conditioner isn't running. That means I'm breathing unfiltered air. Sad that I need filtration.
My baseline anxiety has been twisting to new highs (or lows, maybe). I'm having trouble putting aside all the worries that I can't do anything about. They're worries about things that would be real disasters if they happened-- Scott losing his job. Scott dying. Cordelia becoming extremely ill. The house burning down.
I've also been feeling bloated and awkward, like my body's changed. I'm pushing myself to do a bit of time on the treadmill every day now. That only amounts to two days since the end of science center camp, but I figure that, if I can do that walk, I can manage some treadmill time. Goodness knows I need it.
I hope the exhaustion lifts soon. I'm at the point of bouncing my feet and biting my fingers to stay awake. Reading is too hard half the time, and I have to just forget about writing or thinking.
I'm trying to figure out how to get in to see my doctor. Tomorrow, I see my psychiatrist (and I'm terrified of dealing with that since I'll have to bring Cordelia along. That would be exhausting even if all were well). A week from Wednesday, I have a mammogram. I'm using up my primary babysitting option for the mammogram. Why does school have to wait until after Labor Day? Why do my in-laws have to be away for several weeks right now?
I feel rather like there's a heavy, sagging weight in my torso, one that's sending out sedatives to my head and limbs. I want nothing more than to sleep for hours.
I suspect that ragweed is contributing to the problem. Not only is it currently blooming, but it's been cool enough that our air conditioner isn't running. That means I'm breathing unfiltered air. Sad that I need filtration.
My baseline anxiety has been twisting to new highs (or lows, maybe). I'm having trouble putting aside all the worries that I can't do anything about. They're worries about things that would be real disasters if they happened-- Scott losing his job. Scott dying. Cordelia becoming extremely ill. The house burning down.
I've also been feeling bloated and awkward, like my body's changed. I'm pushing myself to do a bit of time on the treadmill every day now. That only amounts to two days since the end of science center camp, but I figure that, if I can do that walk, I can manage some treadmill time. Goodness knows I need it.
I hope the exhaustion lifts soon. I'm at the point of bouncing my feet and biting my fingers to stay awake. Reading is too hard half the time, and I have to just forget about writing or thinking.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 05:59 pm (UTC)I got my first mammogram last year. They scheduled this one then, and for some reason, I assumed it would be after the start of school. Now I just need to schedule my annual. That should have happened in July, but UHS is down to just one gynecologist and had no openings.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 08:22 pm (UTC)You're 42, with no family history of breast cancer, right? And none of the big personal risk factors like a history of radiation exposure or smoking, or having found a suspicious lump in the past? I'm not sure an annual mammogram makes a person safer than a mammogram every 2 years where there is no other risk factor. I recently saw the Preventative Screening Guidelines for Healthy Adults, published by The Massachusetts Health Quality Partners. They recommend annual mammography for women over 50, and "annual mammography at discretion of clinician" for age 40-49.
In other words, I don't think you would be doing yourself any harm, or putting yourself in any danger, by canceling next week's mammography appointment. If the clinic is crowded and they can't fit you in again until October, you'd still be ahead of the game. It looks like moving the appointment could make it easier for you to deal with urgent medical stuff (anxiety, fatigue, breathing) and basic self-care. I don't have asthma, so my experience is surely less overwhelming than yours, but I always need more rest when breathing is difficult.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 08:52 pm (UTC)My family has no history of breast cancer, but they do have a history of cancer. That's what killed my maternal grandmother (colon and lung cancer) and my paternal grandfather (lymphatic and brain cancer).
I'm going to talk to my doctor on the phone to see whether I even need one this year. I'm sure my insurance would prefer I wait.
On the up side, I started the furnace fan going so that the air in the house is now filtered. I'm feeling incredibly much better. This strongly supports the ragweed hypothesis. I'm not looking forward to going out tomorrow, but knowing what's wrong helps immensely. It also explains why I've been worse on the cooler days than on the hotter ones.