Other News
Feb. 20th, 2002 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckLast week, I spent time with Jenn and Amy, off and on, and went on with my normal activities. I finally got my COBRA papers, and Amy took me out to Wolverine Towers to deliver them. She needed to visit Human Resources herself to see what jobs were posted, so she needed to go over there anyway. I suppose there's a certain irony that I got the COBRA stuff fully taken care of just before the LTD got approved. Sadly, I don't entirely appreciate it.
Monday was my step-father's birthday. I gave him a call in the evening, and we talked for a while. He's enjoying teaching graduate students, finding it more interesting than the undergraduate instruction he did before. He mentioned that he's got a grant for research for next year and is looking forward to it. He seems a little frustrated by Mom's preparations for the bar exam and the stress they're causing her, nothing major, more a sense that he's having to do things without her for a while.
We also got the paperwork out for our application to refinance our house. Scott had forgotten a few things when he sent the first batch in, so he had to deliver the rest of it last Tuesday. I was supposed to see my psychotherapist that afternoon, and he couldn't do both. I took advantage of needing to take the bus to my appointment to get myself to the public library. (That's when I saw the crocuses. The Y's by the bus station and library.) The weather was a little warmer than is normal for February, so I enjoyed my time outside. I picked up a few new books then headed out for my appointment. I got off the bus there with about 45 minutes to kill, so I went to Denny's to stay warm (Warmer than normal is still not warm, at least not in February). I indulged in a hamburger (garlic mushroom Swiss) after counting servings and figuring out that the only category it was likely to push me over in was fats.
It was a rather intense session in terms of discussion. I was trying to find words to make her fully understand the level of anxiety that I live with all the time. I've tried before, and it's pretty difficult. I suspect that it's rather analogous to trying to explain music to someone who's deaf. The theory's clear enough, but without the actual experience comprehension remains incomplete. She asked me again as she does from time to time whether or not I was ever sexually abused. I answered the question as I always do by saying that I have no recollection of such a thing or indication that anything of the sort happened. I think my therapist forgets that she's asked before rather than that she thinks the answer will change.
I suppose it's understandable. That sort of abuse is the most common explanation for symptoms of the sort I have, and she'd be negligent not to ask. Every therapist I've ever seen has asked. Answering the question becomes kind of irritating after a while, kind of like the frustration of trying to explain to different doctors that my worst headaches are combinations of sinus, tension and migraine and need medication for all three. I know the truth, but I also know that the person I'm talking to has no way of knowing and possibly no reason for believing what I say.
Wednesday, I ran the Amber game. It went pretty well. I was able to juggle a few things so that events within the story fell into place together. Everybody felt like they got to do something, and the plot progressed in the direction I'd intended without the players feeling like I was dictating anything. Jenn sat in.
Thursday, I took Jenn and Amy out for dessert. I'd planned to splurge and break my diet with a dessert once during Jenn's visit to town, and that's how it worked out. As it turned out the timing was just what I needed. It had been a bad day up till that point. I discovered that Scott had taped the wrong thing when he tried to tape Buffy for me on Tuesday (I went out with Amy and Jenn; he stayed home and watched the episode). He keeps forgetting that the show has moved to a different channel. At any rate, I didn't discover the problem until I put the tape in Thursday morning, intending to watch it while I did some other work.
As it turned out, the stuff I was working on, preparing for the LARP I ran on Sunday, was fairly messed up. I ended up spending 2-3 hours cleaning up some stuff that shouldn't have been a problem. I got fairly stressed out over it and didn't actually eat anything until we went out for dessert. After we went out, we all came back here so that the other ladies could check their e-mail. I played a few songs for Amy since she'd been wondering about the "theme songs" I'd selected for some of the Amber npcs at Laura's prompting.
Scott brought me a single red rose. He'd stopped on the way home to get it for me. It's still blooming in a vase on top of one of our bookshelves. I was very pleased to get it; I love roses.
Scott even managed to get his shower in before Cheryl, the woman who helped us out with running the LARP, showed up for her pre-game briefing. I'd wanted her to have a chance to talk to Scott since we were asking her to do some of what Scott and I usually handle. We got that done in about an hour so that she could get home to her husband and daughter.
I was doing fairly well until later that evening. Wednesday, I'd put a tape in the VCR to catch that evening's episode of The Pretender which was one of the few I lack. I forgot to take the tape out after it was done but figured that it didn't matter because the episode on Thursday was the same that I had in the second hour of the tape. What I didn't know was that Scott had watched the tape the night before, rewound it and left it in the VCR.
I lost my temper. I still don't understand how he could do that. He was the one who programmed the VCR and set it up to tape from 7-8pm every night, so he should have remembered that that was what it would do. If I'd done it, I'd have set it for just the specific nights that I needed to tape, but Scott told me that since we had five episodes to get (I lost the tape with the 4 previous episodes on it and wanted to retape them) it was better to set up one program.
Basically, all of the day's frustrations came out. It was hard because there was nothing to be done to fix what had happened. Scott was so contrite that being angry at him felt pointless. That sort of thing leaves me feeling especially helpless. I want to fix the problem, force whoever or whatever's responsible to make it right. Scott doesn't help because he just shuts down under those circumstances. He goes away just when I need him. I've tried explaining that that disengagement makes the pain worse for me, and he's responded that he assumes that anything active he does will make the situation worse. I don't know if we'll ever work that problem out.
Naturally, the fact that I hadn't eaten much (apart from dessert) all day didn't help. I eventually got Scott to hold me while I cried. Then he pulled an Uno's sea delico pizza out of the freezer and baked it for me. It wasn't really on the diet, but I badly needed the calories. I had two pieces and put the rest away for later. Pizza doesn't really fit the diet since I don't have much in the way of dairy allocations due to my allergies. I'm still losing weight, however, so I'm not too worried.
We'd been planning the LARP for quite some time. I hadn't put much work into it because I trusted that Laura would do the recruiting. I suddenly realized on the 7th or 8th that I didn't yet have enough confirmed players to be able to run the game, known as Family Plot, is larger than most with 40 possible characters, so I need at least 25 to run it. As of the morning of the 8th, I had 10. I told Laura that I needed to be sure of at least 20 by the evening of the 10th in order to commit to running. She started putting the word out to her people, and I started beating the bushes to see who I could find.
I sent out a few e-mails and got a few responses. Laura had more luck than I. By Monday, we had 32 players signed up. At that point, I asked Matt Q. to print the characters. I hadn't wanted to ask him to do it until I was sure we'd use them. Several of the people who'd sent in surveys earlier recruited friends to play.
I spent Thursday evening (before the blow up and after the crying) assigning characters. It's a difficult process because all I have to go on in most cases is a few sentences in answer to some questions and, if I'm very lucky, a vague memory of encountering the person at other games. The people I know personally are easier to cast, but I don't want to always give them the best characters, particularly when they're not the ones who sign up first. Some of the characters that I design would bore me to tears or frustrate me dreadfully; there are players, however, for whom those characters are lots of fun. I just have to guess what matches up.
This time out, everybody seems to have had fun. I'd signed up 34 players by game time on Sunday. We had two walk-ins and three no-shows (Two because they were a couple one of whom had a flare up of serious back pain that day and one for no reason that I've been able to discover). Scott, Cheryl and I managed to keep the game running fairly smoothly, and I have the impression that most, if not all, of the players had a good time. At any rate, nobody left early or seemed to feel that they'd wasted seven hours. I think part of the success of the scenario rests on having a couple of things going on that are guaranteed to catch anyone who's not doing something else (and some who are).
Now I have to clean up a few details from this game so that it's properly put together to run again the next time I need it (I expect it'll be a few years) and then start work on updating the game I'm supposed to run in April. I'm quite hopeful that that one will fill entirely. It can only handle 20 players, so it's entirely possible I'll have more players than I can cast. Laura wants me to run it on April 7th. The other option is April 21st which would give me two more weeks, but that's much closer to finals. Many of our players aren't students, but many are. I can understand why those who are wouldn't want to lose several hours of prime studying time.
Monday was my step-father's birthday. I gave him a call in the evening, and we talked for a while. He's enjoying teaching graduate students, finding it more interesting than the undergraduate instruction he did before. He mentioned that he's got a grant for research for next year and is looking forward to it. He seems a little frustrated by Mom's preparations for the bar exam and the stress they're causing her, nothing major, more a sense that he's having to do things without her for a while.
We also got the paperwork out for our application to refinance our house. Scott had forgotten a few things when he sent the first batch in, so he had to deliver the rest of it last Tuesday. I was supposed to see my psychotherapist that afternoon, and he couldn't do both. I took advantage of needing to take the bus to my appointment to get myself to the public library. (That's when I saw the crocuses. The Y's by the bus station and library.) The weather was a little warmer than is normal for February, so I enjoyed my time outside. I picked up a few new books then headed out for my appointment. I got off the bus there with about 45 minutes to kill, so I went to Denny's to stay warm (Warmer than normal is still not warm, at least not in February). I indulged in a hamburger (garlic mushroom Swiss) after counting servings and figuring out that the only category it was likely to push me over in was fats.
It was a rather intense session in terms of discussion. I was trying to find words to make her fully understand the level of anxiety that I live with all the time. I've tried before, and it's pretty difficult. I suspect that it's rather analogous to trying to explain music to someone who's deaf. The theory's clear enough, but without the actual experience comprehension remains incomplete. She asked me again as she does from time to time whether or not I was ever sexually abused. I answered the question as I always do by saying that I have no recollection of such a thing or indication that anything of the sort happened. I think my therapist forgets that she's asked before rather than that she thinks the answer will change.
I suppose it's understandable. That sort of abuse is the most common explanation for symptoms of the sort I have, and she'd be negligent not to ask. Every therapist I've ever seen has asked. Answering the question becomes kind of irritating after a while, kind of like the frustration of trying to explain to different doctors that my worst headaches are combinations of sinus, tension and migraine and need medication for all three. I know the truth, but I also know that the person I'm talking to has no way of knowing and possibly no reason for believing what I say.
Wednesday, I ran the Amber game. It went pretty well. I was able to juggle a few things so that events within the story fell into place together. Everybody felt like they got to do something, and the plot progressed in the direction I'd intended without the players feeling like I was dictating anything. Jenn sat in.
Thursday, I took Jenn and Amy out for dessert. I'd planned to splurge and break my diet with a dessert once during Jenn's visit to town, and that's how it worked out. As it turned out the timing was just what I needed. It had been a bad day up till that point. I discovered that Scott had taped the wrong thing when he tried to tape Buffy for me on Tuesday (I went out with Amy and Jenn; he stayed home and watched the episode). He keeps forgetting that the show has moved to a different channel. At any rate, I didn't discover the problem until I put the tape in Thursday morning, intending to watch it while I did some other work.
As it turned out, the stuff I was working on, preparing for the LARP I ran on Sunday, was fairly messed up. I ended up spending 2-3 hours cleaning up some stuff that shouldn't have been a problem. I got fairly stressed out over it and didn't actually eat anything until we went out for dessert. After we went out, we all came back here so that the other ladies could check their e-mail. I played a few songs for Amy since she'd been wondering about the "theme songs" I'd selected for some of the Amber npcs at Laura's prompting.
Scott brought me a single red rose. He'd stopped on the way home to get it for me. It's still blooming in a vase on top of one of our bookshelves. I was very pleased to get it; I love roses.
Scott even managed to get his shower in before Cheryl, the woman who helped us out with running the LARP, showed up for her pre-game briefing. I'd wanted her to have a chance to talk to Scott since we were asking her to do some of what Scott and I usually handle. We got that done in about an hour so that she could get home to her husband and daughter.
I was doing fairly well until later that evening. Wednesday, I'd put a tape in the VCR to catch that evening's episode of The Pretender which was one of the few I lack. I forgot to take the tape out after it was done but figured that it didn't matter because the episode on Thursday was the same that I had in the second hour of the tape. What I didn't know was that Scott had watched the tape the night before, rewound it and left it in the VCR.
I lost my temper. I still don't understand how he could do that. He was the one who programmed the VCR and set it up to tape from 7-8pm every night, so he should have remembered that that was what it would do. If I'd done it, I'd have set it for just the specific nights that I needed to tape, but Scott told me that since we had five episodes to get (I lost the tape with the 4 previous episodes on it and wanted to retape them) it was better to set up one program.
Basically, all of the day's frustrations came out. It was hard because there was nothing to be done to fix what had happened. Scott was so contrite that being angry at him felt pointless. That sort of thing leaves me feeling especially helpless. I want to fix the problem, force whoever or whatever's responsible to make it right. Scott doesn't help because he just shuts down under those circumstances. He goes away just when I need him. I've tried explaining that that disengagement makes the pain worse for me, and he's responded that he assumes that anything active he does will make the situation worse. I don't know if we'll ever work that problem out.
Naturally, the fact that I hadn't eaten much (apart from dessert) all day didn't help. I eventually got Scott to hold me while I cried. Then he pulled an Uno's sea delico pizza out of the freezer and baked it for me. It wasn't really on the diet, but I badly needed the calories. I had two pieces and put the rest away for later. Pizza doesn't really fit the diet since I don't have much in the way of dairy allocations due to my allergies. I'm still losing weight, however, so I'm not too worried.
We'd been planning the LARP for quite some time. I hadn't put much work into it because I trusted that Laura would do the recruiting. I suddenly realized on the 7th or 8th that I didn't yet have enough confirmed players to be able to run the game, known as Family Plot, is larger than most with 40 possible characters, so I need at least 25 to run it. As of the morning of the 8th, I had 10. I told Laura that I needed to be sure of at least 20 by the evening of the 10th in order to commit to running. She started putting the word out to her people, and I started beating the bushes to see who I could find.
I sent out a few e-mails and got a few responses. Laura had more luck than I. By Monday, we had 32 players signed up. At that point, I asked Matt Q. to print the characters. I hadn't wanted to ask him to do it until I was sure we'd use them. Several of the people who'd sent in surveys earlier recruited friends to play.
I spent Thursday evening (before the blow up and after the crying) assigning characters. It's a difficult process because all I have to go on in most cases is a few sentences in answer to some questions and, if I'm very lucky, a vague memory of encountering the person at other games. The people I know personally are easier to cast, but I don't want to always give them the best characters, particularly when they're not the ones who sign up first. Some of the characters that I design would bore me to tears or frustrate me dreadfully; there are players, however, for whom those characters are lots of fun. I just have to guess what matches up.
This time out, everybody seems to have had fun. I'd signed up 34 players by game time on Sunday. We had two walk-ins and three no-shows (Two because they were a couple one of whom had a flare up of serious back pain that day and one for no reason that I've been able to discover). Scott, Cheryl and I managed to keep the game running fairly smoothly, and I have the impression that most, if not all, of the players had a good time. At any rate, nobody left early or seemed to feel that they'd wasted seven hours. I think part of the success of the scenario rests on having a couple of things going on that are guaranteed to catch anyone who's not doing something else (and some who are).
Now I have to clean up a few details from this game so that it's properly put together to run again the next time I need it (I expect it'll be a few years) and then start work on updating the game I'm supposed to run in April. I'm quite hopeful that that one will fill entirely. It can only handle 20 players, so it's entirely possible I'll have more players than I can cast. Laura wants me to run it on April 7th. The other option is April 21st which would give me two more weeks, but that's much closer to finals. Many of our players aren't students, but many are. I can understand why those who are wouldn't want to lose several hours of prime studying time.
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no subject
Date: 2002-02-20 10:31 am (UTC)I don't have any useful commentary, mind, as I haven't really found anything that helps. >.<
Glad the LARP went well, ignore my query about it in a different note, onegai?