Dreams I Could Do Without
Feb. 27th, 2002 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rck"Such dreams, such dreams as I dreamed last night/Such dreams can never be good." Lady Margaret (Traditional)
And they weren't good, either, more depressing really. It was one thing after another. I tried to run my next LARP but somehow hadn't finished getting it ready and even found that the parts I'd thought completed weren't usable. We were traveling, and I couldn't find either place or time to work. Then I decided to take the GRE and did so poorly that no school would even look at my application.
I understand the first part since I often have stress dreams about preparing/running LARPs. It doesn't usually happen until much closer to the deadline, however, so I'm startled by the timing. I've still got a month to get the rewrite done, and I've even started on it. If I'd dreamed about not have a definite place to run-- But this was more normal for me: Documents not written or printed or illegible. Impatient players demanding their materials NOW. Scott being wildly unhelpful.
The second part of the dream puzzles me. Going back to school isn't something I'm thinking about very seriously. It's something I'd like to do someday if I can ever justify the expense. I like taking classes and playing with ideas, and I'm good at both. I've occasionally lamented that no one will pay me to take classes. And money's really the sticking point. We have a mortgage, so taking on more debt isn't an attractive option, and I'm not able to work and take classes. I tried it twice, working on a masters in library science, and crashed and burned physically and psychologically both times (I still got okay grades; I just came close to losing my job). I've done a little desultory looking around at local schools and concluded that the U is the only place I can get to without moving to another town that includes (or even could) the sort of courses I'm interested in taking. This is particularly true if I'm looking at graduate programs.
I'm trying to start today off better than I did yesterday. Somehow, I just didn't get around to eating much. I felt pretty down and unmotivated. By evening, I was hungry but couldn't think of anything that would be worth the effort of getting up to go get it. I'm just glad that Scott's home Tuesday evenings since I needed him.
Laura and Drew stopped by in the afternoon so that Laura could ask me some questions about the Amber scenario of mine that she's going to run for her other gaming group. Drew's going to assist her by running an npc. She still considers herself new at GMing and isn't very confident about it. She mentioned that some of her players are concerned that she's planning to run something that somebody else designed, but I think she'll do fine with it. She understands the most important basic rule: If it doesn't work, throw it out or change it.
And they weren't good, either, more depressing really. It was one thing after another. I tried to run my next LARP but somehow hadn't finished getting it ready and even found that the parts I'd thought completed weren't usable. We were traveling, and I couldn't find either place or time to work. Then I decided to take the GRE and did so poorly that no school would even look at my application.
I understand the first part since I often have stress dreams about preparing/running LARPs. It doesn't usually happen until much closer to the deadline, however, so I'm startled by the timing. I've still got a month to get the rewrite done, and I've even started on it. If I'd dreamed about not have a definite place to run-- But this was more normal for me: Documents not written or printed or illegible. Impatient players demanding their materials NOW. Scott being wildly unhelpful.
The second part of the dream puzzles me. Going back to school isn't something I'm thinking about very seriously. It's something I'd like to do someday if I can ever justify the expense. I like taking classes and playing with ideas, and I'm good at both. I've occasionally lamented that no one will pay me to take classes. And money's really the sticking point. We have a mortgage, so taking on more debt isn't an attractive option, and I'm not able to work and take classes. I tried it twice, working on a masters in library science, and crashed and burned physically and psychologically both times (I still got okay grades; I just came close to losing my job). I've done a little desultory looking around at local schools and concluded that the U is the only place I can get to without moving to another town that includes (or even could) the sort of courses I'm interested in taking. This is particularly true if I'm looking at graduate programs.
I'm trying to start today off better than I did yesterday. Somehow, I just didn't get around to eating much. I felt pretty down and unmotivated. By evening, I was hungry but couldn't think of anything that would be worth the effort of getting up to go get it. I'm just glad that Scott's home Tuesday evenings since I needed him.
Laura and Drew stopped by in the afternoon so that Laura could ask me some questions about the Amber scenario of mine that she's going to run for her other gaming group. Drew's going to assist her by running an npc. She still considers herself new at GMing and isn't very confident about it. She mentioned that some of her players are concerned that she's planning to run something that somebody else designed, but I think she'll do fine with it. She understands the most important basic rule: If it doesn't work, throw it out or change it.
