(no subject)
Aug. 23rd, 2017 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckScott's going to have to work Saturday. That kind of blows up our weekend plans, but the plant is doing full production that day, so everybody's working, no way around it. At least I can steal the equipment he'd been saving for the anomaly? (Definitely looking for a silver lining.)
We had a trial run this morning for how things will work in the fall, once school starts, because Cordelia had to catch a city bus at 7 a.m. in order to be at Skyline for an 8 a.m. orientation. I'm pretty sure I only got through it because I woke at 2:30 and took my thyroid medicine. If I don't wake to take it, I have to wait an hour and a half before I can eat or have my morning tea/coffee. Which would mean eating right at the point that I can actually go back to bed.
I have no idea how I'm going to make it through that time without sugar and caffeine. Scott has asked me not to discuss it because it upsets Cordelia to think that she's making things hard for me. I kind of want to snarl at him because that doesn't actually help me at all.
I'm kind of thinking that what ought to happen is for Scott to be the one to make Cordelia's breakfast since he'll be getting up at the same time she does. I'm not convinced that I need to be up to do that just so that he can sit on the couch and watch TV with her. (She needs the whole hour and a half to spin up and be functional. If someone doesn't put food in front of her, she won't eat.) I guess we'll see.
After Cordelia got on the bus, I took a walk. I walked very slowly for about an hour and a half. Then I went home and tried to get some things done. At about 10:30, I tried to nap, but I kept getting texts and phone calls. I did sleep some because I had kind of gripping dreams in between the texts. I figure I'm tired if I manage to out and out dream in a ten minute nap between text messages.
I need to find some space for myself in the next few days so that I can finish the fic that's due in early September. The problem is that I can't write it while Cordelia's home, so I may not actually have much time. She's volunteering most of next week, so maybe I'll have time then, but I also have doctor appointments in there and a bunch of other things that need doing while she's not at home. I don't know. I have 6000 words of story and something that would be an ending for any other exchange. I just haven't gotten what I need for this.
I'd normally ask Scott to get Cordelia out of the house, but I don't see that happening between now and the due date. There's just no way to make it work.
We had a trial run this morning for how things will work in the fall, once school starts, because Cordelia had to catch a city bus at 7 a.m. in order to be at Skyline for an 8 a.m. orientation. I'm pretty sure I only got through it because I woke at 2:30 and took my thyroid medicine. If I don't wake to take it, I have to wait an hour and a half before I can eat or have my morning tea/coffee. Which would mean eating right at the point that I can actually go back to bed.
I have no idea how I'm going to make it through that time without sugar and caffeine. Scott has asked me not to discuss it because it upsets Cordelia to think that she's making things hard for me. I kind of want to snarl at him because that doesn't actually help me at all.
I'm kind of thinking that what ought to happen is for Scott to be the one to make Cordelia's breakfast since he'll be getting up at the same time she does. I'm not convinced that I need to be up to do that just so that he can sit on the couch and watch TV with her. (She needs the whole hour and a half to spin up and be functional. If someone doesn't put food in front of her, she won't eat.) I guess we'll see.
After Cordelia got on the bus, I took a walk. I walked very slowly for about an hour and a half. Then I went home and tried to get some things done. At about 10:30, I tried to nap, but I kept getting texts and phone calls. I did sleep some because I had kind of gripping dreams in between the texts. I figure I'm tired if I manage to out and out dream in a ten minute nap between text messages.
I need to find some space for myself in the next few days so that I can finish the fic that's due in early September. The problem is that I can't write it while Cordelia's home, so I may not actually have much time. She's volunteering most of next week, so maybe I'll have time then, but I also have doctor appointments in there and a bunch of other things that need doing while she's not at home. I don't know. I have 6000 words of story and something that would be an ending for any other exchange. I just haven't gotten what I need for this.
I'd normally ask Scott to get Cordelia out of the house, but I don't see that happening between now and the due date. There's just no way to make it work.
no subject
Date: 2017-08-24 07:08 pm (UTC)Obviously she's getting help in the form of meds and therapy and I don't know better than any of that! I only offer from my own experience.
I mean, she's old enough to be informed that her personal situation changes things for the whole family. She can process that. The impact of that is not your fault, even if she reacts adversely.
I do think asking Scott to help Cordelia in the morning is a practical move. I also think it will help her adjust to the idea that you cannot and will not always be there to aid her in the morning.
There is only so much you can change your life around her. If you were working full time she would not have you around and while I know that is a situation she doesn't have to face and seems too detached it is still a reality.
From what I've read over the past few months it seems she is well aware that she can count on you to get her out of situations or be there when she is upset. It reads as if she has many safety blankets that in the long term could make things harder for her.
As I say I only talk from experience. I don't know what her team is thinking for her in the most part and I only wish her the best. I just see myself as a kid in her and I see the same ways of trying to ...manipulate things to her will through anxiety and fear. It is a horrible cycle and I hope she can escape it ♥
no subject
Date: 2017-08-27 05:17 am (UTC)I didn't dare take risks because there was no safety net.
My parents being flaky as hell about personal responsibility in terms of doing what they promised to help out didn't help me emotionally either.
Finding the happy medium is the challenge we're working on.