(no subject)

[the_rck]

Scott will have less than twenty four hours off to change his schedule so that he can go from working third shift to working first shift. They told him that the only other option was to give him zero time between shifts (third shift starts at 11 p.m. and is, for bookkeeping purposes, considered entirely part of the day that it started, so it wouldn't technically be a mandatory double shift). All employees are working either Saturday or Sunday this weekend.

I was going to try to go to north campus this morning, but it's raining. I really don't feel like walking around in the rain today. I do need to go downtown to buy bus tokens for Cordelia. There's no rush on it because she has a pass right now that's good for another couple of weeks. We bought it when we thought she'd be at Community and would be using it at least ten times a week. Now... three or four times a week. Tokens are cheaper at that level of usage because they don't expire.

It used to be that you had to go to the main business office for the bus company in order to get the half price tokens, but according to the company website, the half price tokens are available at Blake now. At least, the listing for Blake says 'Tokens' while other places say 'Full fare tokens'. I'm assuming that that means Blake has all types of tokens now. It never made much sense to me to have the half price tokens only at the headquarters. They're good for people who're K-12 or receiving Medicare/Medicaid or in their mid-60s.

If I go down there later today, I can pick up my interlibrary loan copy of Prince of Tennis 30, read it immediately, send it back, and request v.31. We lose MelCat requesting access on Monday the 2nd. The library's holdings for PoT pick up again with v.34. Part of me wants to request All The Things via ILL right now because I won't be able to get anything for months, but I also don't think that's a great idea. I should get the books at points when I'm sure I'll have time to read them. If I could get multiple volumes of a given manga series at once I would (the system chokes on such requests and insists that they're duplicates of requests I currently have in process).

I'm leaning strongly toward not signing up for Yuletide. I very much want to, but I don't think I have better than a 50% chance of being able to write a complete story (and the actual chance is probably lower). I'll just save off some possibilities for treats and write those if I end up having time and inspiration. If all goes well with Cordelia's recovery, next year will be better for this sort of thing.

Or I could work on one of the many, many prompts I've got squirreled away in various places... I think I need to weed those down to prompts that are very specifically things I want to write or that are from people I know. That is, if I look at the request and think, "Writing that fandom would be fun, but I don't have any ideas based on this," I shouldn't keep the prompt. If I've got fewer than 300 prompts saved right now, I'll be astonished, and that's with weeding.

I've been applying heat to my elbow. It helps more than the cold packs do, and it only takes 50 seconds in the microwave to refresh the rice pack as opposed to 4-6 hours in the freezer for the gel packs.

I'm trying to come up with ideas for things I could do to reward myself for achieving goals. I just... I'm drawing a complete blank. I don't want to buy books, music, etc. I'm trying to limit sweets. I don't collect anything and don't want to start. There isn't anything that I really want to do. I enjoy an occasional lunch out, but... I really can't use that because going out for lunch is really, really, really difficult unless I'm already out of the house for something necessary and quite near somewhere to get food or have some other adult with me. Lunch out once a week is also more money than I want to put into this (I'd like to stay under $5 a week).

In days gone by, CDs or books (saved for gradually) or a treat like baklava or a candy bar would have been easy go-tos, but they just aren't now. And the agoraphobia and physical limitations eliminate a lot of other things. There aren't any shows streaming that would make reasonable rewards, either. First, I'm pretty picky, and second, I completely forget to follow even things that I enjoy. Even without considering the agoraphobia, I can't handle movies in the theater. Plays and concerts hit the agoraphobia big time. Even with Ativan, I end up spending my time focused on escape plans.

I don't think Scott and Cordelia actually understand how much me being on my phone, playing Ingress, is a shield against panic when we're out of the house. It gives me something completely mindless to do.

Comments

[lunabee34]

I like the idea of your own personal Yuletide, working on some of the prompts/ideas you've been keeping a file on. That way, you're making progress on a goal but not bound to a due date.

[the_rck]

Thanks for the idea! I think that's more what I need than just looking for Yuletide prompts from this year that I maybe could write but am not passionate about. I've been looking at letters and have only found one prompt so far that I could find energy enough to copy over and save. I do, however, have a lot of things floating around that I could get enthusiastic about working on.

[lunabee34]

Yay!

*cheerleads*

[evalerie]

One of my rewards to myself is to read an addictive advice column that I like. Maybe doing something online could be a reward?

Also, my vote is that you might as well request all of the interlibrary loans that you'll want while the system is down. (Well, not the ones that the system thinks are duplicates and rejects. But all the ones that the system will let you enter.)

[the_rck]

I asked for quite a few interlibrary loan books, but I tried to keep it to a number that I could possibly read before they have to be returned. Those books have a three week loan with one renewal, so I have to get to them promptly.

I think that one problem I run into with rewards is that indulgences that only involve time don't work. I have time for things I can do passively. I don't necessarily use it well, but I have from 7:30 to 2:50 every school day to fill mostly as I please. I spend about half an hour of that on house chores (spread out across the day in 5-10 minute increments). I deal with paperwork, emails, and phone calls, too. Those eat more energy than, say, doing the dishes. If I manage two in a day, it's a triumph.

[fred_mouse]

On rewards - are there any kind of 'time wasting' things that you enjoy that you could reward yourself with? I like going out in the back garden and just sitting in the sun; I like allowing myself to just sit and close my eyes and feel the world (sitting in the rocking chair), although I struggle to permit myself to stay there, because I get anxious that I'm not Doing Something Worthwhile; I have a couple of stupidly addictive iPad app puzzle games, but I'm guessing that that kind of thing might aggravate your arm issues. These last work for me, because they actually cause me to shut down that bit of my brain that says 'what you are going Right Now is not as important as Other Thing', which will then swap targets if I move to work on the other thing.

For me, there is also 'have a cup of the good tea' and 'have a cup of brewed coffee', which I don't necessarily do as a standard behaviour.

[the_rck]

The thing is that I spend most of my time, at least when Cordelia isn't home, doing time wasting things. I can only manage 5-10 minutes of housework at a time and need about 30 minutes between. I'm on disability, and I don't have the resources right now to volunteer anywhere.

The thing I want to reward myself for/bribe myself to do is taking walks, both the exercise part and the leaving the house part.

[fred_mouse]

Ah. I was kind of trying to work out a difference between some of the things I get done on a computer, and others. So, Facebook is definitely a time wasting/reward, while Coursera and similar are not.

Do you find cheering/support from people on the internet rewarding? I'm thinking here of the uncluttering group, where we have started regular postings, and now I'm more invested in finding things to declutter, so that I've things to report. And posting to my DW to say 'I need to do X; I've achieved X' because people are then supportive.

[carbonel]

A friend uses the Habitica app for goal-setting. It makes tasks into a game, and she finds the in-app rewards for achieving goals to work for her. I'm quite sure it wouldn't for me, but maybe it might do something for you.

[the_rck]

I use Habitica to track things that must be done regularly, but I haven't figured out how to make it work for 'do this three times a week' type things. I also don't want a penalty for not doing it. Recurring things on Habitica incur penalties-- shared by everyone in your party-- if they don't get done the day they're due.

I find the penalty motivating for something like doing the dishes daily or remembering my vitamins. What I want to motivate myself for here is going for walks when weather and health permit and using our treadmill if weather is the only barrier.