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Jan. 14th, 2018 01:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckYesterday morning, Scott drove me out to the East Ann Arbor part of the UM medical system so that I could have blood drawn. My doctor wants to look at my electrolytes, and I have an appointment to see her on Thursday. I am not sure that I can explain to her what I'm perceiving about how bits of my brain and body are simply not working right. Scott and Cordelia both seem to think that what's going on with me is just normal.
It might just be lack of sleep, of course, and if it is, there's damn all I can do about it because most of the things limiting my sleep are family related. I can't make either Scott or Cordelia change. Scott is actively hostile to the idea due to a certain amount of bitterness over the fact that he's been functioning for many years on less sleep than I'm asking for. Basically, if he has to suffer for lack of sleep, it's justice that I do too. I kind of want to hit him over the head and make him actually sleep before 10 p.m. He's been saying for years that he wants to and should, but although I remind him occasionally, he sits in the living room and doesn't move until he reaches the 'oh, shit! How did it get this late?' point in the evening at about 10:30.
I'm having pillow related sleep issues, too. If I'm on my back, any pillow at all will make sleeping difficult. If I'm on my side, I need something thick enough to keep my neck where it ought to be relative to the rest of my spine. I generally start out trying to sleep on my left then turn to my right and fall asleep there. Then I turn onto my back in my sleep, and the pillow makes problems. Maybe I need to try to train myself to fall asleep on my back again? I managed it at one point.
I've had a non-stop headache for several days. Nothing I've tried helps. I can still write, but it's making reading even harder than it was last year, and it's making my anxiety ratchet up (which I'm sure doesn't help the headache). The main thing that helps is heat on my shoulders and the back of my neck, so there must be a pretty big tension component.
I'm giving up on some of my unread library books. It's not that I don't want to read them; it's that I'm having trouble pulling together enough brain to read a fluffy/silly graphic novel. I sometimes have to read a panel half a dozen times before the words penetrate. I'm not going to manage a full novel with characterization and plot threads and all that. This leaves me with five graphic novels, four novels, a book of poetry, and about fifteen hours worth of DVDs. I've got two CDs, a book on CD, a DVD, and a graphic novel waiting to be picked up from the library. There are a lot of other things, mostly CDs, that could come in today because there are copies on the shelf.
I have no idea how I can manage to string words together in order to write. I can, but I keep stopping and looking at what I've written and wondering if I'm writing word salad rather than a story or journal post.
After the blood draw, Scott and I got lunch at Plum Market and then did the grocery shopping. I made it through that, but it was harder than it should have been.
It might just be lack of sleep, of course, and if it is, there's damn all I can do about it because most of the things limiting my sleep are family related. I can't make either Scott or Cordelia change. Scott is actively hostile to the idea due to a certain amount of bitterness over the fact that he's been functioning for many years on less sleep than I'm asking for. Basically, if he has to suffer for lack of sleep, it's justice that I do too. I kind of want to hit him over the head and make him actually sleep before 10 p.m. He's been saying for years that he wants to and should, but although I remind him occasionally, he sits in the living room and doesn't move until he reaches the 'oh, shit! How did it get this late?' point in the evening at about 10:30.
I'm having pillow related sleep issues, too. If I'm on my back, any pillow at all will make sleeping difficult. If I'm on my side, I need something thick enough to keep my neck where it ought to be relative to the rest of my spine. I generally start out trying to sleep on my left then turn to my right and fall asleep there. Then I turn onto my back in my sleep, and the pillow makes problems. Maybe I need to try to train myself to fall asleep on my back again? I managed it at one point.
I've had a non-stop headache for several days. Nothing I've tried helps. I can still write, but it's making reading even harder than it was last year, and it's making my anxiety ratchet up (which I'm sure doesn't help the headache). The main thing that helps is heat on my shoulders and the back of my neck, so there must be a pretty big tension component.
I'm giving up on some of my unread library books. It's not that I don't want to read them; it's that I'm having trouble pulling together enough brain to read a fluffy/silly graphic novel. I sometimes have to read a panel half a dozen times before the words penetrate. I'm not going to manage a full novel with characterization and plot threads and all that. This leaves me with five graphic novels, four novels, a book of poetry, and about fifteen hours worth of DVDs. I've got two CDs, a book on CD, a DVD, and a graphic novel waiting to be picked up from the library. There are a lot of other things, mostly CDs, that could come in today because there are copies on the shelf.
I have no idea how I can manage to string words together in order to write. I can, but I keep stopping and looking at what I've written and wondering if I'm writing word salad rather than a story or journal post.
After the blood draw, Scott and I got lunch at Plum Market and then did the grocery shopping. I made it through that, but it was harder than it should have been.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-14 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-14 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-16 04:19 pm (UTC)One of the features of the new library website is that there's supposed to be a way to control when your requested items come in -- though I have not yet spotted where on the website that is, or maybe it's a feature that they plan to add in the future and not something that is available now. But they said that there would be a way to keep your place in line with requested items and still stay in the queue without having reserves come in when you don't want them to. If that works, it would be neat.