(no subject)

[the_rck]

We spent yesterday with Scott's family. Scott's brother and his family are in from Seattle, and we all gathered to see them.

Their younger daughter is almost two. When we saw them last summer, she was so stranger averse that she screamed if we looked at her. This year, she's willing to talk to us. Cordelia spent more time with the two year old than with the two cousins close to her age (one a year older and one a year younger). They were off playing games together while Cordelia read stories to the two year old and played games with her. I think it's a pity Cordelia's an only child. She really likes younger kids. Of course, a sibling would be different; she'd have to permanently share her space, her parents, her things.

We were expecting that everyone would go out on Scott's parents' boat, so I took my laptop and some books (canon for my Fic Corner story) in expectation of several hours alone. As it happened, we all sat around and talked. I didn't mind that, but it meant that I didn't get any work done.

Dinner was difficult. Scott's parents served bratwurst which I can't eat (I think they thought that chicken brats were safe because I can eat some chicken sausages. Unfortunately, this was a brand new to me, and dinner time is not a good time to experiment. It's too close to bedtime to risk reflux). Scott's brother spiced the green beans with a sauce containing chili pepper which I can't eat (the sauce had wheat in it, too, so Scott's mother couldn't eat it either. I don't think Scott's brother thought things through). They served corn on the cob which I also can't eat. I was left with salad. When Scott's mother realized how little I had to eat, she offered me a diced chicken breast which I gladly accepted.

Cordelia protested our departure at nine vehemently but wasn't willing to stay overnight. We gave her the ten to fifteen minutes until we reached the highway to change her mind, but she didn't. She kept coming up with reasons why she couldn't stay, things like not having a toothbrush or clean clothes. We offered solutions, and each time, she came up with another problem. What it really came down to was that she was too scared. Being able to get up and get a hug from us at any hour matters that much to her. She pretty much never comes for a hug after we're in bed, so we know she can get through the night without extra hugs.

I'm at a loss as to what to do to help Cordelia on this one. We have a looming deadline-- In June, the fifth graders go to camp for three nights. She needs to be able to manage that by then.

Today has been given over to chores. I've been slow about doing them, but they are getting done. I may not finish the laundry until tomorrow, of course, but we've all got enough clothes to be fine if that happens.

Scott's brother and his family will be coming to stay with us on Tuesday some time and staying until some time on Thursday. Cordelia and her friends spent some time cleaning the basement today so that it will be ready for her aunt and uncle to sleep down there. I just have to make the bed with the newly cleaned sheets, and we'll be ready. Well, there may need to be some shifting of stuff down there to fit in the crib while still allowing access to the bathroom. We can do that, I think.

Comments

[lady_songsmith]

Could Cordelia 'camp out' somewhere in the house/yard as a practice run, then move up to staying at a neighbor's when she sees she can get through the night away from you and her own room?

[the_rck]

We don't have any neighbors who could host her. We used to, but they moved away a year and a half ago. The camping out might work if we can borrow a tent. It'll have to be one that zips closed. The mosquitoes are really bad this year. I wonder who we know who might have one? We don't camp, ever, and I'm not sure anybody we know does, either.

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

I'm an enthusiastic camper, with experience taking big groups of kids camping. But I don't have any useful advice. :-S If Cordelia knew me better, I'd happily take her along sometime when I go camping. But since she doesn't really know me, that doesn't seem like a good idea.

[the_rck]

I think what we need is a small tent (a pup tent, maybe?) with room for one or two kids that we can put in the backyard. That might be close enough to us to work for her (though it might not be. She's been reluctant to sleep very far from us. Last summer and last week both showed that).

Maybe I should ask on Arbor Parents if anyone has a tent like that that we could borrow for a few weeks. Buying one seems a bit much when we wouldn't really use it beyond this occasion.

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

Makes sense to me! I wish I had a tent I could loan out. :-S

[fjm.livejournal.com]

I think this may be one where you have to make her.

[the_rck]

We tried that with Girl Scout camp a couple of years ago. It was a bit of a disaster. There were thunderstorms every night, and she was terrified. The rain curtailed their daytime activities, too, so she didn't have much fun. Admittedly, two nights with strangers (and one close friend) may not have been the place to start.

The problem is that her grandparents and aunt and uncle aren't willing to take her unless she's willing to go. I'd make her do an overnight with her grandparents if I could.

[lady-of-mists.livejournal.com]

I don't recall having this problem when I was little (or really any of my relatives), so any advice with a grain of salt. Aren't there some books out there that talk about kids having a slumber party and someone not wanting to go? Said someone then has a great time and really enjoys the party. Like I said, I never really had this issue (fiercely independent and desirous of adventure), so I can't recommend anything like that.

Or maybe some sort of telephone contact? If she knows that if she wants to talk to you at some point in the night, she can call home? Or maybe (if she is with relatives) that you and Scott have left hugs with Grandma/Grandpa/Aunt/etc., and she can collect them as needed? (Sorry, I don't know how literal she is offhand, so this might cause more problems than it would be worth; you are talking to the person who thought that a box fan in the window could cut up Jason from Friday the 13th so that he couldn't get into my bedroom when I was in first grade).

[the_rck]

Cordelia's ten, so most teaching books are out of the question as too 'babyish.' If we could find a novel about it, maybe, but a picture book is out of the question.

The problem with leaving hugs for her (apart from the fact that I don't think she'd buy it) is that she's afraid to wake Grammi or her aunt to request a hug if she needs one. She has no such compunctions about waking us. She never does wake us, but she knows she could if she needed to.

I don't know if phone contact would help. Experience from being away from one parent suggests that it makes her cry, at least the first night. It's an idea, anyway.

[lady-of-mists.livejournal.com]

If I have any other massive brainstorm, I'll let you know. It would indeed make no sense to have a 'babyish' book to try to work through this one and, yeah, part of it has to come down to the person in question buying into the fantasy with the hugs idea. :(