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I dreamed about my Yuletide fandom this morning. It was a weird AU filled with OCs and ending with an unexpected crossover with Stargate (and possibly War of the Worlds as well). Perhaps if the extra elements and crossover had been something that appealed to me, I'd think them less weird. Sadly, I think it's merely indicative of my desperately needing sleep and time to dream. (I lost a largish chunk of that due to Scott's alarm not going off. I was the first to wake and ended up unable to get back to sleep to take advantage of the 2-3 hours left before Delia got up.)

The Yuletide fic is sitting, waiting for beta reading. I've had one person look at it who knows my writing and one person who knows the fandom, but the person whose opinions I most trust is in the middle of some personal family stuff that may mean she can't look at the story till next week. That's still in time for me to do the rewrite, but my anxiety is not letting a little thing like that get in the way of serious panic.

(At some point, I want to write about living with severe anxiety and my coping strategies. I'm just afraid that it'd be boring and would depress me. I suspect that some of my coping strategies aren't very healthy, except in light of the fact that not using them would leave me less functional than using them does.)

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Delia keeps talking about 'her baby brother.' It's very cute and also makes me want to cry. She's not going to have a baby brother or a baby sister. I can't take care of her *and* a baby, and we'd have trouble shoehorning another person into our house (and into our budget, but I suspect we'd manage the money give the reality of another child). I think I've gotten it through to her that the baby brother is going to remain imaginary because she's started announcing that she doesn't have one and asking me if she can have a sister.

My mother says, and I think she's right, that Delia would hate the reality of having another child around all the time. She could learn to deal with it and accept it as normal, but she really doesn't like sharing very much. Sharing her parents would drive her crazy. It might be good for her, of course.

Bah. I need to stop thinking about that. It's hard to be a responsible adult sometimes, to want something that's a dreadfully bad idea and to turn away from it because it's a bad idea.