(no subject)
Aug. 25th, 2019 01:35 pmI'm going to try to do a bunch of smaller updates because, each time I look at trying to sum up what's going on and what's happened, I stall out without starting or start and don't finish.
So, summer of 2019 has sucked and has gotten worse as the weeks passed. I think that the combination of anxiety and pain with the meds I'm taking to deal with both (propranolol, wellbutrin, Tylenol, CBD (both oral and topical), and naproxen) is making it hard for me to focus enough to get anything done. Not that I'd likely get anything done without the meds. I just might feel less as if this instant in time is unconnected to anything else.
Basically, it's really hard to get myself to start anything or to keep going after I do. It doesn't feel like depression so much as it feels like a very pleasant mental disconnection. I'm kind of wondering if the CBD oil that I bought at Plum Market still contains some residual THC. The disconnection is much pleasanter than the physical pain, though, and that's bad enough that I can't do things because I can't get my hands to cooperate.
I have an appointment with orthopedics about my hands tomorrow. I don't think the appointment will do anything except get me another appointment. From what they said three years ago, the only remaining intervention is surgery which might help pain but also might decrease function. I might get decreased function with no relief from the pain.
I'm also not sure that surgery will be an option given the likelihood that I have EDS-h. I healed okay from gallbladder surgery and from the lumpectomy, but this is a joint. If surgery is a viable option, I would go for my left hand (I'm right handed) and see how that healed. My definition of decreased function might be different from that being used by the medical folks. If I simply stop getting spikes of pain in the middle of doing things like brushing my teeth, I would consider that increased function even if my grip is weaker.
So, summer of 2019 has sucked and has gotten worse as the weeks passed. I think that the combination of anxiety and pain with the meds I'm taking to deal with both (propranolol, wellbutrin, Tylenol, CBD (both oral and topical), and naproxen) is making it hard for me to focus enough to get anything done. Not that I'd likely get anything done without the meds. I just might feel less as if this instant in time is unconnected to anything else.
Basically, it's really hard to get myself to start anything or to keep going after I do. It doesn't feel like depression so much as it feels like a very pleasant mental disconnection. I'm kind of wondering if the CBD oil that I bought at Plum Market still contains some residual THC. The disconnection is much pleasanter than the physical pain, though, and that's bad enough that I can't do things because I can't get my hands to cooperate.
I have an appointment with orthopedics about my hands tomorrow. I don't think the appointment will do anything except get me another appointment. From what they said three years ago, the only remaining intervention is surgery which might help pain but also might decrease function. I might get decreased function with no relief from the pain.
I'm also not sure that surgery will be an option given the likelihood that I have EDS-h. I healed okay from gallbladder surgery and from the lumpectomy, but this is a joint. If surgery is a viable option, I would go for my left hand (I'm right handed) and see how that healed. My definition of decreased function might be different from that being used by the medical folks. If I simply stop getting spikes of pain in the middle of doing things like brushing my teeth, I would consider that increased function even if my grip is weaker.