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Feb. 8th, 2014 10:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckCordelia and I are at Scott's sister's place. We spent the night last night. Cordelia was almost brave enough to want to do it alone but she couldn't. She started crying when it came down to it, and I had to reassure her that I was packed and ready to go.
The whole thing became much more complicated than expected. Our nephew cut his ear on a music stand badly enough to need stitches. The urgent care facility his mother took him to didn't feel comfortable doing the work, so she had to drive him twenty minutes away to a hospital ER. He's fine, just disappointed that he didn't get to play for the basketball game the way he was supposed to.
For us, this meant that we had to wait for Scott's sister's husband to get home from work. We ended up meeting up with him and our niece at a McDonald's about halfway between our houses at around 9:00. He took me and Cordelia to their house. We ended up watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Scott's sister and our nephew got back about 10:30 because they stopped to visit friends after taking care of things in the ER. We all got to bed around midnight.
Before bed, Cordelia came to hug me at least twice. I think she'd hoped to do something that was more fun than watching TV, particularly largely incomprehensible TV. This is probably the last time for quite a while that we can do a sleepover like this. Scott's sister said that March and April are uniformly too busy for it.
The social worker did suggest that we work on Cordelia learning to sleep without listening to Rutabaga Stories. She won't be able to take her iPad to fifth grade camp, so, even if I go, she'll have to do without that. Right now she can't. She was going to try Thursday night without it, but she couldn't do it. I'm going to keep pressing her to try. I know it's going to be difficult and scary, but not trying won't get her anywhere. I'm really worried that she won't be able to go to camp. She's been working so hard on the fundraising (that's what bagel Fridays are for) that it seems a pity she should miss out.
The plan for today calls for us to stay here until four then go shopping for a couple of hours then meet Scott and his parents for dinner in Brighton. The reason we're waiting so long to go shopping is that Scott's sister is running a workshop today. She sells stamps and crafty stuff and does classes where people work on specific projects. She's offered to let me and Cordelia sit in. She thinks she has enough supplies. I don't want to. I don't know if Cordelia does. I think Cordelia's not sure what's involved and so can't make a decision. I just worry that she'll be bored if she doesn't-- Our niece is ignoring her and doesn't seem to want to make the effort to interact with her.
The whole thing became much more complicated than expected. Our nephew cut his ear on a music stand badly enough to need stitches. The urgent care facility his mother took him to didn't feel comfortable doing the work, so she had to drive him twenty minutes away to a hospital ER. He's fine, just disappointed that he didn't get to play for the basketball game the way he was supposed to.
For us, this meant that we had to wait for Scott's sister's husband to get home from work. We ended up meeting up with him and our niece at a McDonald's about halfway between our houses at around 9:00. He took me and Cordelia to their house. We ended up watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Scott's sister and our nephew got back about 10:30 because they stopped to visit friends after taking care of things in the ER. We all got to bed around midnight.
Before bed, Cordelia came to hug me at least twice. I think she'd hoped to do something that was more fun than watching TV, particularly largely incomprehensible TV. This is probably the last time for quite a while that we can do a sleepover like this. Scott's sister said that March and April are uniformly too busy for it.
The social worker did suggest that we work on Cordelia learning to sleep without listening to Rutabaga Stories. She won't be able to take her iPad to fifth grade camp, so, even if I go, she'll have to do without that. Right now she can't. She was going to try Thursday night without it, but she couldn't do it. I'm going to keep pressing her to try. I know it's going to be difficult and scary, but not trying won't get her anywhere. I'm really worried that she won't be able to go to camp. She's been working so hard on the fundraising (that's what bagel Fridays are for) that it seems a pity she should miss out.
The plan for today calls for us to stay here until four then go shopping for a couple of hours then meet Scott and his parents for dinner in Brighton. The reason we're waiting so long to go shopping is that Scott's sister is running a workshop today. She sells stamps and crafty stuff and does classes where people work on specific projects. She's offered to let me and Cordelia sit in. She thinks she has enough supplies. I don't want to. I don't know if Cordelia does. I think Cordelia's not sure what's involved and so can't make a decision. I just worry that she'll be bored if she doesn't-- Our niece is ignoring her and doesn't seem to want to make the effort to interact with her.
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Date: 2014-02-10 09:09 am (UTC)But the most useful thing, and something he started doing with the more anxious children before the trip, was teaching them ways of coping with the anxiety. Rather than telling them they'd be ok, or that they could 'get over' it in advance, he combined habituation with techniques like meditation, relaxation, deep breathing and using movement to manage the symptoms of anxiety. He would work with the child, putting them in (safe!) situations that provoked mild anxiety so they could practice their techniques and learn that anxiety was manageable. So the message was 'yes, you might feel anxious sleeping away, but you will cope with it'.
I think that's a very powerful thing, because it helps break that awful 'fear of anxiety' cycle that you and I know so well.
Very best wishes to you and Cordelia. It must be hard for you too,
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Date: 2014-02-10 05:03 pm (UTC)I am going to try again to get her to try a night without her iPad. That's something we can work on at home, any night. She was supposed to try last Thursday, but she couldn't face it.
This is why we're working with the social worker. We're hoping she'll have some techniques to teach Cordelia.