(no subject)

[the_rck]

I yelled at Cordelia last night. Now I feel terrible. Basically, it was five to nine, and she hadn't yet brushed her teeth. I told her to do it, and she said no. Then I yelled. I'm so frustrated about bedtime. It keeps creeping later and later, and Cordelia wants it to. I want her actually in bed at nine. As it is, we're lucky if she's in bed by nine twenty or nine thirty.

Cordelia cried for about five minutes because me yelling means I don't love her. I apologized for yelling but reiterated that she needed to brush her teeth. Eventually, she did, but it was nine thirty by the time her light went out.

This is going to be more important if she goes to the middle school and has to get up at six or so. And not just for her sake-- If we're getting up that early, I'll need to go to bed earlier, too, and Scott and I will have no time together after Cordelia goes to bed (another reason to want her to stay at her current school). Right now, we have between an hour and an hour and a half, depending on when Cordelia actually goes to bed. We mostly use that time to watch things that Cordelia's not interested in or that we think she's not ready for.

Comments

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

*hug*

At my house, we don't usually have any time anymore between when the kids go to bed and when the adults do. It's been a real adaptation, and still feels strange to me. I wistfully remember the days, not so long ago, when there was six hours between the kids' bedtimes and mine. Six hours!!! Wow.

[the_rck]

I don't think it's ever been six hours for us, but it used to be three when we could reliably get Cordelia in bed by eight. I don't think she generally went to bed before that once she settled on a regular schedule. We used to have to trick her into falling asleep by putting on a video that she could fall asleep watching. Sometimes, we let her fall asleep in our bed. Those were the days when I could still pick her up and move her.

[anderyn.livejournal.com]

I usually enforce the nine pm bed time at our house (since Rhiannon often goes to bed earlier than that, due to having to be AT WORK at five am), but I'm not very stringent, except that Griffin does have a six-fifteen am bus, and I'm not going to be happy if he oversleeps (though Bruce is the one that will be unhappiest, if he has to drive Griffin to school, since I can't :-). I usually have an hour or so after that for me-time, though I try hard to be in bed by midnight/eleven pm.

And, really? Yelling means not loving? Our family must really hate each other then! Bruce and Rhiannon are natural yellers: it comes from his mother, who was also a natural yeller, and who still was the most loving person I've ever met, yelling or not.... and I've learned that it is okay to accept that some people are going to be loud, even if it does trigger my "eek! Dad is mad! Hide!" buttons sometimes. It can sound worse than it is, I know, if you're not on the inside, but I know that the loud isn't meant to be hurtful.

[the_rck]

Cordelia would be devastated if I yelled at her often (or maybe she'd get used to it. I don't know). If I simply snap at her, not even yelling, she gets really upset and says I'm yelling and don't love her.

I have no idea how early Cordelia's bus would be. I think that her current school might be the bus' first stop in the morning and last stop in the afternoon. Middle school starts at eight. I think the bus route takes forty-five minutes.

I am so very tempted to insist on staying with her current school. Even if school there started at eight, we wouldn't have to get up any earlier.

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

My vote is that you should go for it (for staying at her current school, I mean). The two schools seem well balanced between each other in terms of advantages and disadvantages, and these logistical details matter a *lot.*

[the_rck]

Cordelia is lobbying hard for the middle school right now. I'm not sure why she thinks she'd like it better. I need to sit her down and ask her what she expects out of middle school. Middle school can be such an utterly miserable time. It was for me, and I've been afraid that it will be terrible for her, too. A smaller school seems likely to be better or, at least, better supervised.

Of course, her best friend also wants the middle school while her parents want the elementary school. What we decide will have an impact on what they decide (and vice versa).