(no subject)

[the_rck]

Cordelia's arms have finally stopped hurting. I'm grateful for that. I'd been dosing her with Tylenol in an effort to ease the pain, but she kept complaining about it. Particularly, she wanted to be able to sleep on her side but couldn't because it would hurt too much. Apparently, she can't hold her stuffed animals properly when she's lying on her back.

We did go for frozen yogurt. I had some key lime and some cookie cake (a variety of chocolate). They had crushed Heath bars this time, so I spooned that on. Unfortunately, I think I shouldn't have chocolate so close to bed time-- I had reflux once I went to bed.

Scott was scheduled to go in to work early, but they called at two to say that he didn't have to after all. I think one of the machines had broken down, so this is not necessarily good news. It could mean more work on the weekend.

After Scott went to bed, Cordelia and I talked about nothing much. She told me that she likes talking to me. I ought to take advantage of that willingness to talk to me to bring up puberty and sex, but every time I've tried, Cordelia has fled. I think she picks up on me not being entirely comfortable with the topic. We've bought her books on the subject, but she hasn't read them, and they're buried somewhere in her room. Her fifth grade teacher spent a little bit of time on talking about puberty, but I'm not sure how much he covered except that it definitely didn't include sex of any sort. The school hasn't done anything to talk about where babies come from, even in heavily veiled language. When I was in elementary school, we covered at least some of that in third grade.

I do wonder what the pediatrician will do when I ask them about prescription birth control for Cordelia. I want her to have access and not depend entirely on having a condom handy (though I definitely want her using condoms, too. STIs are scary). I hope I don't have to search around for a different doctor for that.

Comments

[anderyn.livejournal.com]

I've been doing the talk for years now, with both kids and grandkids. We talk, then they walk off, and then we do it again, when there are more questions (as in, Leslie was very interested in why we were bitching about the recent Supreme Court decision vis a vis Hobby Lobby, so that segued into a long discussion about sex and birth control and how it all works, once again, though this time her Mom took the lead in explaining it all). It's not just a one-time thing in my experience. And of course, the grandkids also get my moral take on it, which is that sex is lovely, but not unless and until you are married, and that if you DO decide not to wait, birth control and condoms are very important. Very important. And don't do like your mom and dad did. :-) Since neither Rhiannon nor Brad cared to get married, I still disapprove strongly of their actions (not that it matters, but I do).

[the_rck]

I do hope that Cordelia will wait until she's a lot older. I'm just not willing to gamble her safety on her waiting, you know? I want her to have as much information as possible so that she can make an informed choice, and I want her to know that, either way, the world won't end.

I also want to make sure she doesn't end up like my mother with my father and marrying someone simply because he says he'll die if she doesn't. I'm not sorry my parents married, but for anybody to marry my father is a mistake.

[anderyn.livejournal.com]

Oh, Rhiannon and Brad getting married would have been even more horrible, yes, and I know what you mean about parents getting married who shouldn't've -- my Dad was not the best or easiest of men to live with and I often wondered why my mother put up with him and his horribleness.

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

I've seen people crabbing on Facebook that there's a new law in Michigan that says that kids of a certain age are required to have a brief conversation alone with the doctor at every visit, without parents in the room, so that the kids can bring up any concerns that they have, such as if someone is abusing them or if they need birth control. I'm of mixed minds about whether this is actually a good idea, but it does look to me like the law is going to protect Cordelia's ability to have that discussion with her doctor if she wants to do it someday. I don't think this is something you necessarily want to rely on if you want to be proactively sure that Cordelia has access to prescription birth control. But it is sounding like she will have opportunities to bring it up with her doctor if she someday wants to.

I agree with Twila about educating kids about sex many times over, in many contexts. We have preschool-level books and older-kid books about it, and sometimes I'll sit them down and tell them the "facts of life" again, and once my oldest did a school project about the reproductive system. I'm often surprised by how much didn't sink in on the first few tellings and needs to be re-told again. Lately at my house the most common way that a discussion about sex gets started is when it comes up in the context of daily life -- something on the news, or a TV show, or a book, or that they heard at school. I've tried to earn "cool mom" points by volunteering explanations of things that they are puzzled by. Talking about sex with the kids definitely gets easier the more I talk about it. I'm still worried that I haven't told them enough, even though I've tried to be thorough, and that there's more they need to know. But I figure that if I just keep talking, they'll keep gradually absorbing information, so hopefully eventually most of what they need to know will sink in.

Yikes: The older sister of one of Arlo's classmates just had a baby. The mom is in tenth grade, so she's about the same age as Arlo. I am so not ready for this. I can talk theory with the kids all day, but I am not mentally prepared yet for my own kids to be driving or having sex.