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Aug. 10th, 2014 10:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckI followed a link the other day that I shouldn't have. It went to the website for the service that places older children from our state's foster care system for adoption. I knew I shouldn't go there because I knew I'd want all of them. It's so sad to see those photographs of kids who're probably never going to find families-- A lot of them are fourteen or older.
Adopting a child is one of those fantasies that I have that I know nothing will ever come of. If I ever win the Publishers Clearing House (one in a billion chance, so yeah), it would be high on my list of things to do. It's not feasible right now because we don't really have the space. That sounds like a pathetic reason, but it's true. We technically have a third bedroom, but it's filled with books, CDs, computer equipment that we actually use, and Scott's clothes (there's no room for Scott's clothes in our room).
If we did adopt an older child, I know it wouldn't be easy. They've all got problems that come from their situation and all its uncertainties. I read some of the things to know essays. There wasn't anything that surprised me, not really, but it is daunting. Even without those issues, it would be hard. We're used to being a three person family, and all the dynamics would change.
If we did adopt an older child, we'd want one school age but younger than Cordelia. I think she'd adjust better to being an older sister than she would to being a younger sister. There weren't very many kids younger than Cordelia on the profile page, but there were some. I suspect that the younger kids are easier to place and that children whose parents have rights terminated tend to be older.
I think we'd want a boy. We already have a girl, and I always wanted one of each. Of course, Cordelia might get along better with a girl. I don't know. We'd have to think about that carefully.
We would pretty much have to go with a white child because of issues with Scott's parents. His mother is actively phobic of black people, including children. She out and out panics. That would be a dreadful thing to do to a child. (She's okay with Asian Americans. Scott's brother's wife is Chinese American, and Scott's mother adores her. I have no idea how Scott's mother would react to a Latino child, though. I could see it being bad.) Scott's parents live so close that they'd be a big factor in whatever we did.
I've thought a lot about this for something that's never going to happen.
Adopting a child is one of those fantasies that I have that I know nothing will ever come of. If I ever win the Publishers Clearing House (one in a billion chance, so yeah), it would be high on my list of things to do. It's not feasible right now because we don't really have the space. That sounds like a pathetic reason, but it's true. We technically have a third bedroom, but it's filled with books, CDs, computer equipment that we actually use, and Scott's clothes (there's no room for Scott's clothes in our room).
If we did adopt an older child, I know it wouldn't be easy. They've all got problems that come from their situation and all its uncertainties. I read some of the things to know essays. There wasn't anything that surprised me, not really, but it is daunting. Even without those issues, it would be hard. We're used to being a three person family, and all the dynamics would change.
If we did adopt an older child, we'd want one school age but younger than Cordelia. I think she'd adjust better to being an older sister than she would to being a younger sister. There weren't very many kids younger than Cordelia on the profile page, but there were some. I suspect that the younger kids are easier to place and that children whose parents have rights terminated tend to be older.
I think we'd want a boy. We already have a girl, and I always wanted one of each. Of course, Cordelia might get along better with a girl. I don't know. We'd have to think about that carefully.
We would pretty much have to go with a white child because of issues with Scott's parents. His mother is actively phobic of black people, including children. She out and out panics. That would be a dreadful thing to do to a child. (She's okay with Asian Americans. Scott's brother's wife is Chinese American, and Scott's mother adores her. I have no idea how Scott's mother would react to a Latino child, though. I could see it being bad.) Scott's parents live so close that they'd be a big factor in whatever we did.
I've thought a lot about this for something that's never going to happen.
