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Aug. 17th, 2015 09:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckApparently, I have to wait until next Monday afternoon to see the doctor. There's a class they want me to attend before I see him, but supposedly, I can see him the moment it's over. I've texted Scott to see if he can get next Monday off. I'm hoping that a week is sufficient notice that he won't have to use a call in day for it. At least this means I can still take Cordelia to her appointment on Friday.
I'm not quite sure what to do-- I wanted to wait until I had more information before I told my parents what's going on. It would be so much better if I had specifics about what's wrong and about the plan going forward. They're going to freak out, no matter what, but I think that complete uncertainty will make everything a lot worse. I'm just not sure I'm prepared to wait another week to talk to my mother about it. She's not the world's most comforting person, but she is my mother.
I'm currently struggling with some PDF forms that will authorize release of information to my sister-in-law and my psychiatrist, but there are two problems. First, with regard to the psychiatrist, I don't want to send her any documentation. That would be a waste of time. I want her to be able to talk to and consult with whatever people I happen to end up working with at the Cancer Center so that she knows their opinions on medications she might prescribe for me. Second, the forms won't allow me to do anything with the slots for signatures and their associated dates. The person who sent me the PDFs says she's never heard of this problem, that I ought to be able to sign electronically. Her only suggestion is to print the forms, sign them, and then fax them to her. Which would be great if I had a fax.
So I'm going to have to take a cab over there later today to hand deliver the forms. I really don't want to.
I'm also mad at myself. I had an opportunity to ask questions this morning, and I was too tired to think straight enough to do it. My sister is going to be fairly annoyed with me about that. I only got about three hours of sleep last night. I want to ask my psychiatrist about getting something to help me sleep, but I want her able to talk to the Cancer Center people first.
Hopefully, my sister will be willing to wait on my SIL getting copies of the reports to get further information about what's going on. I'm hopeful that getting the reports faxed to Seattle won't take too many days.
I did, fortunately, get a good night's sleep Saturday night. So that's something. If Friday, Saturday, and Sunday had all been bad, sleep-wise, I suspect I wouldn't be functioning at all right now.
The only bit of information I got this morning is that it's 'invasive mammary' cancer. Googling that didn't tell me much, but it did make me fairly sure that they're going to want to do an MRI. My sister says that mammary MRIs take longer than other types which could be a problem. The last time I had an MRI, I was in a lot of physical pain by the time it ended, simply from having to stay so still.
Cordelia chose not to go to the library with us yesterday and not to get bubble tea. The guy behind the counter at Bubble Island asked where she was.
Not long after we got back from the library,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
evalerie came by to swap cars. She and her kids are going camping this week, so they'll need the car that runs on gas. Her electric car should get Scott to and from work reasonably well as long as we charge it pretty much the whole time he's at home.
I've got at least three phone calls I should make today. I don't know if I'll be able to manage any of them on top of delivering the forms. Okay, I'm going to post this, print the forms, and get ready to go out. I'll have to wake Cordelia up so that she knows what's going on. She won't be pleased about that, but I think she can deal.
I'm not quite sure what to do-- I wanted to wait until I had more information before I told my parents what's going on. It would be so much better if I had specifics about what's wrong and about the plan going forward. They're going to freak out, no matter what, but I think that complete uncertainty will make everything a lot worse. I'm just not sure I'm prepared to wait another week to talk to my mother about it. She's not the world's most comforting person, but she is my mother.
I'm currently struggling with some PDF forms that will authorize release of information to my sister-in-law and my psychiatrist, but there are two problems. First, with regard to the psychiatrist, I don't want to send her any documentation. That would be a waste of time. I want her to be able to talk to and consult with whatever people I happen to end up working with at the Cancer Center so that she knows their opinions on medications she might prescribe for me. Second, the forms won't allow me to do anything with the slots for signatures and their associated dates. The person who sent me the PDFs says she's never heard of this problem, that I ought to be able to sign electronically. Her only suggestion is to print the forms, sign them, and then fax them to her. Which would be great if I had a fax.
So I'm going to have to take a cab over there later today to hand deliver the forms. I really don't want to.
I'm also mad at myself. I had an opportunity to ask questions this morning, and I was too tired to think straight enough to do it. My sister is going to be fairly annoyed with me about that. I only got about three hours of sleep last night. I want to ask my psychiatrist about getting something to help me sleep, but I want her able to talk to the Cancer Center people first.
Hopefully, my sister will be willing to wait on my SIL getting copies of the reports to get further information about what's going on. I'm hopeful that getting the reports faxed to Seattle won't take too many days.
I did, fortunately, get a good night's sleep Saturday night. So that's something. If Friday, Saturday, and Sunday had all been bad, sleep-wise, I suspect I wouldn't be functioning at all right now.
The only bit of information I got this morning is that it's 'invasive mammary' cancer. Googling that didn't tell me much, but it did make me fairly sure that they're going to want to do an MRI. My sister says that mammary MRIs take longer than other types which could be a problem. The last time I had an MRI, I was in a lot of physical pain by the time it ended, simply from having to stay so still.
Cordelia chose not to go to the library with us yesterday and not to get bubble tea. The guy behind the counter at Bubble Island asked where she was.
Not long after we got back from the library,
evalerie came by to swap cars. She and her kids are going camping this week, so they'll need the car that runs on gas. Her electric car should get Scott to and from work reasonably well as long as we charge it pretty much the whole time he's at home.I've got at least three phone calls I should make today. I don't know if I'll be able to manage any of them on top of delivering the forms. Okay, I'm going to post this, print the forms, and get ready to go out. I'll have to wake Cordelia up so that she knows what's going on. She won't be pleased about that, but I think she can deal.
YOU are totally out of spoons
Date: 2015-08-17 04:33 pm (UTC)It's what I had to do when I had a scare- a benign something-or-other found while nursing my first son. Scary, totally blew my spoons for thinking, and WAAY more than hubby could do for me as HE was pretty low on spoons, too.
Most doctors UNDERSTAND this - Mary's going to ask questions for me, and because I need extra time to take in all the answers, we can discuss it and then I can make an informed decision without feeling rushed.
Do what's best for you, what WORKS for you, regardless of what "should" happen, or how you "should" be able to cope with all this AND still make rational decisions... That myth can REALLY hurt people!
Re: YOU are totally out of spoons
Date: 2015-08-17 06:09 pm (UTC)Right now, I'm mainly trusting the professionals. I live in Ann Arbor, five minutes drive (or ten minutes bus ride) from the University of Michigan Hospital with its dedicated cancer center. I'm pretty confident that I'll get the best care possible there. It's going to be kind of bureaucratic because every single case is apparently put to a board of something like 40 doctors and then treated according to the consensus. That does tend to be against experimental treatments, but I'm not sure I need experimental treatments for this.
It does help that my SIL is a surgeon (vascular) in a large hospital system elsewhere in the country. I will be very surprised if her colleagues recommend anything different from the folks at U of M, but a second opinion can't hurt.
Re: YOU are totally out of spoons
Date: 2015-08-17 07:28 pm (UTC)Take care of yourself first, for awhile.
HUGS