(no subject)

[the_rck]

I'm up very, very early today because I seem to have gotten an unusual side effect from the painkiller the doctor gave me yesterday. She gave me an injection of toradol, a fairly potent NSAI. That helped my headache a little (eating dinner and actually finishing the Metanews stuff for the week helped vastly more). At any rate, a couple of hours ago, I woke up because my nose was running. Allergies seemed unlikely since I haven't had trouble of that sort in years. A cold was possible but also unlikely unless I picked it up at the clinic yesterday, and I wouldn't have expected a cold to manifest so quickly.

So I googled 'toradol runny nose.' Medline didn't mention it as a side effect, but the Mayo Clinic did. (So did at least two sites of dubious reliability. Why do those always come in so high on the search results? And why did I bother to look at them when I know I can't believe a word they say?) So there's a good chance this is a medication side effect and will pass fairly quickly. I was worried it was a cold; that seemed like a bad thing to be taking with me to a clinic full of cancer patients on Monday.

Yesterday, I ate a few oreos for breakfast around 10:00 and then didn't eat lunch until about 1:45. At that point, I couldn't find what I wanted (we seem to be out) and settled for four slices of cheese and a single serving cup of applesauce. I also ate the better part of a tube of Pringles over the course of the day. All of this was very unwise and seems, judging by my response to actual food for dinner, to have contributed to my headache.

My doctor plans to talk to my psychiatrist. She thinks I need something for anxiety daily during the next few weeks. Her suggestions are a low dose of a tricyclic or Cymbalta. I'm very iffy on the tricyclics because Elavil mucked with my blood pressure badly enough that I had to stop taking it; I couldn't stand up without almost passing out. I don't think I've tried Cymbalta, but my history with SSRIs is pretty uniformly negative. The best of the lot was Paxil, and that made me fall asleep every time I stopped moving. I emailed my psychiatrist to let her know what happened, just in case my doctor can't reach her.

I should have realized that stress over Metanews was probably contributing to my headache. It's the sort of thing that's happened before, with other projects.

Scott had to go to work at 3:00 this morning. Hopefully, they'll let him out somewhere close to on time. We got carry out last night, and there's more than enough of that left to feed us for dinner tonight. I'm not sure what we'll do over the weekend. Scott is working both days and volunteered to pull carts both days because he considered all the other jobs worse. On days when he pulls carts, his fitbit (or whatever the silly thing is) records more than 30000 steps, so the grocery shopping may well end up waiting until Monday evening. I have no idea what we'll do for dinner Saturday or Sunday.

Cordelia is going to be spending Saturday night at a friend's house. It's kind of odd that they've invited her. The other family won't let their kids spend the night at a friend's house until they're sixteen. I'd have thought they wouldn't invite other kids to their place. (These are the folks who've offered to take Cordelia for my surgery, whenever that happens to be, but that's different.) They'll pick Cordelia up around 2:00 on Saturday and keep her until Scott is able to pick her up on Sunday.

This will be helpful for me because a largish packet arrived from the Cancer Center yesterday. I haven't opened it yet, but I'm sure it's going to take me considerable time to get through even if it's mostly material to read instead of forms to fill out. I'm currently trying to decide if I want to open the packet while I'm at home alone or if I want to wait for Scott to be around and only deal with it when he's home. I'll lose a lot of time if I wait on Scott's presence, but... I have no idea how I'll feel.

Cordelia's dermatology appointment is at 1:30 this afternoon. I'll call for a cab at 12:15. An hour is usually plenty of time, and though I know it isn't always, calling earlier and ending up at the office more than an hour before the appointment would be ridiculous.

We got more Netflix DVDs yesterday, the first DVD of season one of Orphan Black and the second DVD of season one of Arrow. I'm not convinced I really want to watch either right now, but Arrow might be better in terms of stress simply because, although it's very violent, it's very much got a thread of utter ridiculousness running through it. I have still got the third Kenshin movie (I'd been holding it to watch with Scott, but he'd completely forgotten that Kenshin movies were even a thing, so I think he's not very interested) and a new-to-me Lupin III movie. Either of those might be a good option for this weekend while I'm home alone.

Comments

[heavenscalyx]

Cymbalta's an SNRI, so a slightly different mechanism of action from the SSRIs. The only others on the market right now are Effexor and Pristiq.

[the_rck]

Hm. Effexor was really, really bad-- It made me suicidal and obsessed with cutting myself. I never actually did, but I spent a *lot* of time thinking about the exacto knives in the next room while I was at work. I took myself off it after about four days and then told the doctor I had done it. I didn't figure that waiting for his okay was a good idea. It was not worth the risk that I'd actually do something.

I don't think I ever tried Pristiq.

Of course, a friend of mine who's a psychiatrist tells me that he and his colleagues refer to Effexor as 'side-Effexor.'

[heavenscalyx]

Pristiq is a follow-on molecular tweak on Effexor (Effexor = venlafaxine, Pristiq = desvenlafaxine), so AVOID, especially given your reaction to Effexor.

"side-Effexor" *SNERK*

I don't know about relationships between Effexor and Cymbalta side effects -- I wrote for Cymbalta when it was released, and some for Pristiq, but of course, on launch, they have very little safety data...

[the_rck]

My psychiatrist has just told me that, given my history with Effexor, she considers Cymbalta a hugely bad idea.

We're going to meet on Tuesday to discuss options. There's nothing that's obvious enough as a good choice that she's comfortable just writing a prescription without us hashing out the pros and cons and having a plan for what to do next if that doesn't work. All of which makes me happier to be working with her.

I'm not all that optimistic about there being a psychoactive that will actually help. There's a reason I'm on disability.

[kyrielle]

You may want to consider bailing on Metanews. I know they're already short-handed, but if it's impacting your health...you don't need that right now. :|

I wonder if they invited Cordelia over in part so that she/they could get used to each other before the surgery, when she's likely to be more stressed and worried.

[retsuko]

I was going to say this exact same thing. I think the majority of readers would absolutely understand without you having to go into too many specifics.

[the_rck]

Well, I don't mind going into specifics if people want to know (though I can't think why they would), but, yeah, I probably need to drop out of Metanews for a few weeks or even months. It will be frustrating because I won't be able to volunteer at Cordelia's school, either, so I'm not sure what I'll do with myself to feel connected to the rest of the world.

[kyrielle]

You can always reach out to us here, and email people. I will say that a friend of mine who had a different type of breast cancer, and had to go through chemo, surgery, and radiation (in that order) was quite quite tired out by it and needed a lot more time just resting/recovering.

[the_rck]

I suppose I should be really glad that Cordelia is twelve and not, say, five. She can do a lot of things for herself (and prefers it that way). She still asks me to tell her what to eat and then rejects every suggestion I make, but I think she and I will both be old before that stops.

There isn't a lot, apart from getting myself to appointments and then home again, that I absolutely have to do.

I wish Provigil actually worked for me. It's something that would likely be useful in the upcoming months. Unfortunately, the dose I can tolerate (50 mg) still leaves me able to fall asleep easily. Anything more than 50 mg, and my blood pressure goes haywire. And the smallest dose the stuff comes in is a 100 mg unscored, oblong pill. Cutting that is a PITA.

[the_rck]

I am actually considering it. I just feel bad doing it, and I keep thinking that, if I can just get past this particular week, I'll be okay. But... I'm not going to be for a while. The paperwork the Cancer Clinic sent me tells me that, for what I've got, they always do radiation. I'm not clear whether or not chemo is likely, but the surgery may be more involved than I was hoping, too. I won't know until Monday.