(no subject)

[the_rck]

This morning's radiation appointment ran long. Well, the radiation part of it finished on time. It's just that, on Thursdays, I'm supposed to check in with my doctor. I ended up talking to about four different doctors who all asked me mostly the same questions. They were a little concerned about my physical symptoms, but, if they're anxiety related as seems likely, there's damn all any of us can do about it. I'll be seeing my psychiatrist on Tuesday, but she can't very well put me on something new right now, and even if she did, it wouldn't start being effective until around the time I finish radiation (if it was effective at all). The first doctor was young, and he seemed to think that consulting a psychiatrist would result in me magically doing better right away.

Scott was stuck at work until around 5:00 yesterday due to a mandatory training. This came after he had one of the worst days of work that he's had in a long time and with no advance notice. He got home and went straight to the shower because we were expecting visitors at 7:00.

I had been hoping to ask him to pick up some groceries on his way home, but the timing was bad for that. I can't, unfortunately, ask him to do it today, either, because he needs to get home and showered as fast as possible so that we can meet my sister and brother for dinner. The problem is that I don't really have much in the house that I can bring myself to eat right now. The only reason I ate anything at all for lunch yesterday is that I ordered a Jimmy John's sandwich at almost 2:30 (and it arrived in time that I was able to, just, finish it before Cordelia and her friends arrived home). I'd been home since noon, but I felt too sick to eat for quite a while and then couldn't face any of the food we had.

We worked on Stargate: SG-1 characters last night. Well, most people did. I kind of stared off into space. I really, really want my brain back. I think Scott and I will have to find a time for him to walk me through character creation because I'm not likely to do it without him (or somebody equally patient) right there, pushing me along. I'm also not sure I'm up to making decisions of the sort that I need to make in terms of assigning points and picking skills and all of that. I'm probably going to be a scientist with a ROTC background.

I have not set up transportation for tomorrow. My current plan, if weather is decent, is to take the bus. It's not ideal when I'm already hugely anxious, but I'm going to have to take the bus again eventually, and I'd rather that the first time be before I start having side effects from the radiation.

If I don't take the bus tomorrow (and even if I do), I will take it into town on Tuesday. My current plan for that is to find myself lunch somewhere around there and then meet evalerie at Library Lane. I'm not sure what I'll do for lunch. I have time, most likely, to go to Totoro-- My appointment will finish at 11:30 or 11:40, and I need to meet my ride at about 12:55. It's a walk of several blocks and is farther than I've walked since I broke my foot in March, though. There's a diner much closer that's passable. There are other restaurants around, and I could try something new, but I'm not sure that I can handle the anxiety that doing that would add to what I'll be experiencing already. Going to one of the places I've been to before will be horribly hard. I really don't want anything harder.

Cordelia and her friends are continuing to work on trying to raise money for charity. I'm not sure that all of their schemes will come to fruition, but it's an admirable goal. Last spring, they gave $80 to water.org (Scott and I vetted the charity for them. I want to teach them how to do it for themselves). Cordelia says that, next year, they want to donate to some sort of breast cancer charity. I wonder if I could get away with pointing them toward Planned Parenthood with the idea of earmarking the funds for helping pay for mammograms? Whatever happens, I'm steering them away from Susan G. Komen. Scott and I did point out that there are a lot more people in the world who need help with water security than who need help with breast cancer screening and treatment, that water is a more fundamental thing and that the kids wouldn't be doing anything wrong if they decided that putting their money toward water security again was the right thing to do.

Comments

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

If this isn't too nosy a question: Does Cordelia know that you have breast cancer? (Last I heard you'd told her that there was something wrong that needed to come out, but not more specifics than that.)

Should I pick up some groceries, to tide you over until Scott can do a grocery trip? I'd be happy to, if it would help.

[the_rck]

Cordelia does know that I have breast cancer. I actually used those words with her fairly early on. I've just emphasized that I'm in no danger of dying.

We made it out to Kroger after dinner with my sister, and I picked up some bananas. I think those will see me through the morning, and I've got restaurant leftovers for lunch. Scott will do the shopping on Saturday, and we'll be okay.

Thank you so much for the offer, though! If we hadn't gotten to Kroger this evening, I'd definitely have taken you up on it.

[ken-3k.livejournal.com]

Planned Parenthood does not directly do mammograms. Their website talks about their staff being aware of issues and how to refer people for the exam.