(no subject)
Oct. 23rd, 2015 07:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckToday was another long appointment. It was much, much worse than Monday’s long appointment because they had me lying in a painful position, from which I was not supposed to move, for the whole time. I think they were having computer troubles, but really, damned if I know. I just know that I was in tears and barely able to stand by the time the damned thing was over. I told them that that was labor levels of pain, and they just kind of shrugged and said, "Well, at least you have the weekend off!"
I managed not to fall apart completely until I’d locked myself in the bathroom in the changing room. I really broke down then, though. I’d been hoping that I could recover and calm down and be okay enough that Scott wouldn’t flip and want to punch somebody (I can’t imagine him actually punching someone, but he would want to). I’m pretty sure that I forgot to put the aloe on my breast. At least, it seems unlikely that I was together enough to do so.
Scott and I went out for lunch after, even though it was about 2:00. We went to an Indian restaurant we’ve been wanting to try that Cordelia doesn’t want to go near. The place is called Cardamom and is pretty close to home. We both asked for mild spice, and what we got was at the edges of our tolerance, so I don’t know that this is something we’ll do often. The food was very tasty, though.
I wanted to order dessert because some of what I’d seen on the menu earlier looked really tasty, but our waiter seemed to want to hurry us out of there and never even asked about dessert. We were running out of time to get home before Cordelia did (they left us for about fifteen minutes after we finished eating before they came to check on us), so we didn’t prompt him. Instead, we went to the Syrian bakery and got baklava for us and a mocha mousse bar for Cordelia.
We reached home just as Cordelia was trying the front door and discovering that it was locked. She said it was okay because we got there right then and not later, and she really enjoyed the mocha mousse bar.
Our original plan was to go for flu shots this afternoon, but Scott was disinclined to do any such thing unless I pushed him, and Cordelia was adamant that she doesn’t want one. I had no energy available to start us moving, so we got to 7:00 and still hadn’t gone anywhere.
And then, Scott realized that we don’t actually have any food for dinner. He’s doing something in the kitchen. Maybe there will be food. Maybe there won’t. I just hope it’s mild so that I can go to bed early.
I talked to my sister and my mother last night. My mother is disappointed at the idea that I might not be done with treatment by the time she and my step-father come to Michigan. I think she was really hoping that Cordelia and I would be able to come stay with them. My sister thinks that going more slowly is probably a really good idea since it decreases the chances of scarring (and scarring will make future mammograms more difficult/less reliable). She’s also strongly of the opinion that I have no actual issues with lanolin. As far as I can tell, her logic is that I haven’t tried it in the last couple of decades and that she has no problems with it. She very much wants me to be able to use it because the other lotions would be more effective, in her opinion, than the aloe. I suppose I should be glad that she’s not trying to argue that I’m not allergic to ragweed.
I managed not to fall apart completely until I’d locked myself in the bathroom in the changing room. I really broke down then, though. I’d been hoping that I could recover and calm down and be okay enough that Scott wouldn’t flip and want to punch somebody (I can’t imagine him actually punching someone, but he would want to). I’m pretty sure that I forgot to put the aloe on my breast. At least, it seems unlikely that I was together enough to do so.
Scott and I went out for lunch after, even though it was about 2:00. We went to an Indian restaurant we’ve been wanting to try that Cordelia doesn’t want to go near. The place is called Cardamom and is pretty close to home. We both asked for mild spice, and what we got was at the edges of our tolerance, so I don’t know that this is something we’ll do often. The food was very tasty, though.
I wanted to order dessert because some of what I’d seen on the menu earlier looked really tasty, but our waiter seemed to want to hurry us out of there and never even asked about dessert. We were running out of time to get home before Cordelia did (they left us for about fifteen minutes after we finished eating before they came to check on us), so we didn’t prompt him. Instead, we went to the Syrian bakery and got baklava for us and a mocha mousse bar for Cordelia.
We reached home just as Cordelia was trying the front door and discovering that it was locked. She said it was okay because we got there right then and not later, and she really enjoyed the mocha mousse bar.
Our original plan was to go for flu shots this afternoon, but Scott was disinclined to do any such thing unless I pushed him, and Cordelia was adamant that she doesn’t want one. I had no energy available to start us moving, so we got to 7:00 and still hadn’t gone anywhere.
And then, Scott realized that we don’t actually have any food for dinner. He’s doing something in the kitchen. Maybe there will be food. Maybe there won’t. I just hope it’s mild so that I can go to bed early.
I talked to my sister and my mother last night. My mother is disappointed at the idea that I might not be done with treatment by the time she and my step-father come to Michigan. I think she was really hoping that Cordelia and I would be able to come stay with them. My sister thinks that going more slowly is probably a really good idea since it decreases the chances of scarring (and scarring will make future mammograms more difficult/less reliable). She’s also strongly of the opinion that I have no actual issues with lanolin. As far as I can tell, her logic is that I haven’t tried it in the last couple of decades and that she has no problems with it. She very much wants me to be able to use it because the other lotions would be more effective, in her opinion, than the aloe. I suppose I should be glad that she’s not trying to argue that I’m not allergic to ragweed.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 12:55 am (UTC)Oh for pete's sake, that was quite a day you had! No sympathy from the techs after a grueling session, no Indian dessert, your mom worrying about visits rather than your getting through medically needed therapy, your sister insisting on your trying something that could really backfire ... your husband isn't the only one who wants to punch someone on your behalf!
*gentle hugs*
no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 02:57 pm (UTC)Is it worth printing your description of the treatment and your reaction after (but not your concern about Scott's, I'd think) and giving it to someone in charge by way of a complaint? Because that's horrid. :(
if complaints are something you want to do...
Date: 2015-10-24 03:32 pm (UTC)also, I think for federal accreditation hospitals are supposed to guarantee patients a right to adequate pain management. so responding to your very valid expression of pain with a "meh" is something that the hospital *should* care about if they are wise.
it is also totally valid to be out of fucks to give and take a pass on this.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 03:33 pm (UTC)sounds like you are dealing with a lot! i'm sorry. *sends good thoughts*
no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 02:04 am (UTC)And yes, going slower with the radiation is something to consider - not just because of the scarring, but because of how painful the 'sunburn' might get; going slower would mean not such an intense skin reaction, and it sounds like your early skin reaction might be what your doctor was worried about.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-26 09:14 pm (UTC)Of course, I'm now unable to take any NSAIDs which I was mainly taking to deal with the swelling, so that may be a deciding factor.
On the potentially plus side, pretty much all of the symptoms I was having that I was worried were either a weird reaction to the radiation or something going wonky with my thyroid levels are listed on Medline as potential side effects of naproxen, the NSAID I had been taking for weeks. I've never had them before in roughly thirty years of taking naproxen (off and on), but I also hadn't taken it for such an extended length of time in more than fifteen years, so.