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Jun. 15th, 2016 12:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
On the plus side, the weather has cleared so that they can do the outdoor work today. On the minus side, what they're doing right now involves prying off the siding around the doorbell which is making the dratted thing ring repeatedly.
My sister called this morning. She said that, if she'd known I was having a mammogram last week, she'd have warned me-- In her experience, everyone breaks down before their first post treatment mammogram. She says that having breast cancer generally gives people PTSD. I'm not convinced that I have issues to that degree, but... Who knows?
She also warned me that face to face support groups tend to be geared toward people with stage three or stage four cancers and that my stage one might mean that I'm not welcome or that my issues are considered trivial. She says that finding the right support group is pretty challenging. She also warned me that being in a group means sharing other people's bad news as well as good and that it means biting one's tongue when people do really stupid things, things they know are stupid. (Her example on the stupid end was women having vaginal sex less than eight weeks after hysterectomy which carries a risk of needing fairly extensive additional surgery and, without prompt treatment, bleeding to death.)
On a completely different topic-- Cordelia's best friend's parents are thinking of sending her to orchestra camp at the nearby middle school. It would be two hours every weekday (except July 4th) for four weeks for $200. The time of day is kind of weird, 11:00-12:45, but that's more doable than earlier in the day would be. Scott says the money will be tight but that we probably could do it.
I have to talk to Cordelia about it because we need to know if she wants to and we need to know if she's willing to ride the city bus there and back without me. The #22 would pick her up about a block from here and drop her off about a block from the school. I don't think it actually stops at the middle school, but it stops at the elementary school a little way away. The #23 used to stop at the middle school, and I rather assume it still does. I don't see why it wouldn't; the schools are very important destinations, especially schools for older kids. Possibly, coming home by the #23 might make more sense because it runs more often than the #22 does. It's a longer walk from the stop, but she's up to that.
I'm kind of worried that Cordelia will say no just because she's scared of the bus. I can do the trip with her a couple of times, but I really can't do it five times a week for four weeks. I just can't.
My sister called this morning. She said that, if she'd known I was having a mammogram last week, she'd have warned me-- In her experience, everyone breaks down before their first post treatment mammogram. She says that having breast cancer generally gives people PTSD. I'm not convinced that I have issues to that degree, but... Who knows?
She also warned me that face to face support groups tend to be geared toward people with stage three or stage four cancers and that my stage one might mean that I'm not welcome or that my issues are considered trivial. She says that finding the right support group is pretty challenging. She also warned me that being in a group means sharing other people's bad news as well as good and that it means biting one's tongue when people do really stupid things, things they know are stupid. (Her example on the stupid end was women having vaginal sex less than eight weeks after hysterectomy which carries a risk of needing fairly extensive additional surgery and, without prompt treatment, bleeding to death.)
On a completely different topic-- Cordelia's best friend's parents are thinking of sending her to orchestra camp at the nearby middle school. It would be two hours every weekday (except July 4th) for four weeks for $200. The time of day is kind of weird, 11:00-12:45, but that's more doable than earlier in the day would be. Scott says the money will be tight but that we probably could do it.
I have to talk to Cordelia about it because we need to know if she wants to and we need to know if she's willing to ride the city bus there and back without me. The #22 would pick her up about a block from here and drop her off about a block from the school. I don't think it actually stops at the middle school, but it stops at the elementary school a little way away. The #23 used to stop at the middle school, and I rather assume it still does. I don't see why it wouldn't; the schools are very important destinations, especially schools for older kids. Possibly, coming home by the #23 might make more sense because it runs more often than the #22 does. It's a longer walk from the stop, but she's up to that.
I'm kind of worried that Cordelia will say no just because she's scared of the bus. I can do the trip with her a couple of times, but I really can't do it five times a week for four weeks. I just can't.
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Date: 2016-06-16 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 05:55 pm (UTC)PTSD can be tricky, but you know your own heart and mind better than anyone. I have found a lot of people try and push what they believe you should be thinking and feeling on you.
Good luck figuring something out with Cordelia.
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Date: 2016-06-15 06:07 pm (UTC)The cancer center I've been dealing with told me that they had support services, but they never told me specifically what was available, apart from a nutritionist, or asked if I might need help of any sort. Their website gives a little more information, but is horribly organized when you realize this is supposed to be an internationally recognized institution. I've had occasions where it took me twenty minutes to find the information I needed on the website.
At any rate, my experience suggests that the cancer specialists really don't know what the hell they ought to be doing in terms of psychological support. The fact that they called me at 4 p.m. on a Friday, the day after my biopsy, and said only, "It's cancer" and nothing more is kind of indicative of how they've been. I was stunned, and by the time I had my head together enough to have questions, they'd all gone home for the weekend.
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Date: 2016-06-15 06:26 pm (UTC)I'm not surprised you're ambivalent going forward. I'm surprised feminine hysteria is still a thing, but I guess I shouldn't be. I've certainly felt dismissed before.
It sounds like the cancer center website is organized as well as my health insurance one. The lack of help and the difficulty in finding it is so stressful and disheartening. Especially when professionals (or friends/family) blithely say 'find a this or that' and act like it will be easy to do. I don't know if they don't care or are just that clueless. They may think we're making it up or being obstinate when we protest the difficulty.
I've taken to using Psychology Today's website, which actually gives way better info on my local therapists and is easier to navigate than my insurance one.
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Date: 2016-06-16 06:20 pm (UTC)It was terrible when we wanted to find someone for our daughter to see for anxiety issues, though. All the people who would treat pediatric anxiety didn't take our insurance and wanted weekly sessions at about $150 each. Eventually, I found one person who we could work with, and, if she'd proven a poor match, we wouldn't have had any other options. I'm not sure how much she actually helped, and we had difficulties with our insurance over her because she changed her professional name midway through treatment (she'd been going by first initial plus middle name and last name and switched to first name and last name).