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Feb. 12th, 2004 02:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckMy writing's really gone nowhere recently. Exhaustion and headaches seem to strangle my words. I hate this part of being a parent. I mean, I had low points before; they go with fibromyalgia and can't be avoided. It's just that I don't have any space to recover from them so they last a lot longer. I also have very limited time for myself, and it disappears so rapidly that I'm not sure what's become of it. Usually, it turns out not to really be time for me-- I do dishes or laundry or try to catch up on non-fun e-mail. Even when it is time for me, I have to fit in a shower or bath and a meal.
I did manage a page of new stuff on Tuesday, and I got![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lunargeography to look over the info dump section last night and make suggestions about how the other characters should respond to it. I think that will be useful for a rewrite. That should be easier than writing new stuff which is a pity because upcoming scenes are starting to form little mobs in my head. Previously, they were each trying to push all the others back in order to get first place in line, but now, they're cooperating, just trying to get me to write *something*.
Even the DVD commentary thing on chapter 1 has stalled. It's hard to come up with anything to say right now, and I've kind of lost my sense of urgency. The fact that that chapter is very long isn't helping. I've got 34 pages of stuff with commentary (after commentary length, so it's probably about the first 15-20 pages of the chapter) with about 18 pages left to comment on (which will likely produce another 30 pages after I insert the comments). Those 18 pages contain the most emotionally fraught events of the chapter, and I want to be mentally... together when I try to comment on it. That or some place where I can focus my attention entirely on what I'm doing.
I'm really regretting my inability to drive right now. By the time Scott gets home, the buses are only running once an hour, and I'm not very comfortable taking them at night anyway because of the lighting-- They keep the lights up inside the bus, and I find that I can't tell where the bus is at any given point. That makes signaling for the correct stop not just a challenge but almost panic inducing. My reaction to cold air (and lack of a winter coat that fits) makes me reluctant to risk having to walk any further than I absolutely have to.
My best bet would be to get someone to come in during the day to watch Delia and play with her for an hour or two at a time. I've tried to find someone without any luck. Scott's sister thinks that bringing me and Delia up to her place will help (This means me and her and three kids under 5 and no topics of common interest that don't relate to children). We've also tried to find someone to come in a couple of hours a week to help with some basic household chores, ones that I either can't manage at all while keeping up with Delia or that I'm only managing sporadically.
Sigh... Well, I'll survive. The writing will get done eventually. Just please don't be disappointed when I don't comment on LJ entries or don't respond to comments. It's my exhaustion and my focus on Delia, inability to think combined with distraction.
I did manage a page of new stuff on Tuesday, and I got
lunargeography to look over the info dump section last night and make suggestions about how the other characters should respond to it. I think that will be useful for a rewrite. That should be easier than writing new stuff which is a pity because upcoming scenes are starting to form little mobs in my head. Previously, they were each trying to push all the others back in order to get first place in line, but now, they're cooperating, just trying to get me to write *something*.Even the DVD commentary thing on chapter 1 has stalled. It's hard to come up with anything to say right now, and I've kind of lost my sense of urgency. The fact that that chapter is very long isn't helping. I've got 34 pages of stuff with commentary (after commentary length, so it's probably about the first 15-20 pages of the chapter) with about 18 pages left to comment on (which will likely produce another 30 pages after I insert the comments). Those 18 pages contain the most emotionally fraught events of the chapter, and I want to be mentally... together when I try to comment on it. That or some place where I can focus my attention entirely on what I'm doing.
I'm really regretting my inability to drive right now. By the time Scott gets home, the buses are only running once an hour, and I'm not very comfortable taking them at night anyway because of the lighting-- They keep the lights up inside the bus, and I find that I can't tell where the bus is at any given point. That makes signaling for the correct stop not just a challenge but almost panic inducing. My reaction to cold air (and lack of a winter coat that fits) makes me reluctant to risk having to walk any further than I absolutely have to.
My best bet would be to get someone to come in during the day to watch Delia and play with her for an hour or two at a time. I've tried to find someone without any luck. Scott's sister thinks that bringing me and Delia up to her place will help (This means me and her and three kids under 5 and no topics of common interest that don't relate to children). We've also tried to find someone to come in a couple of hours a week to help with some basic household chores, ones that I either can't manage at all while keeping up with Delia or that I'm only managing sporadically.
Sigh... Well, I'll survive. The writing will get done eventually. Just please don't be disappointed when I don't comment on LJ entries or don't respond to comments. It's my exhaustion and my focus on Delia, inability to think combined with distraction.
