(no subject)

[the_rck]

And yet another month has gone by without much in the way of updates from me. Oh, well. I guess life with a toddler is just like that.

Delia and I never made it back to the public library playgroup, and there don't seem to be any more scheduled in the near future (I'm wondering if that's because of flu season...), so we'll have to find other ways to socialize. I regret it, but I've had good reasons for each one we skipped. Yesterday was our last chance, and it was raining. I just couldn't see sticking Delia in the stroller for the 10 minute walk to the bus stop and then making her sit there for the 5-10 minute wait for the bus, not in cold rain, and Pontiac is simply too busy for me to let her loose (not to mention that she won't stay near the bus stop) to warm up a bit.

I've been trying to take Delia out at least once a week since my mother left. I'd actually like to take her out more than that, but I'm not sure exactly where to take her. I'm reluctant to tackle long bus trips with her; I somehow doubt that she'd sit happily on my lap for 45 minutes (or more!). Just getting downtown is a production-- 10 minutes to the bus stop, pace back and forth with the stroller while waiting for the bus so that Delia doesn't scream to be let loose (or try to walk to the next stop down, but that's risky because we can miss the bus that way), pull Delia out of the stroller on the bus (required by the bus company) and hold her on my lap for 15 minutes till we get downtown, then get her and the stroller off the bus and her back into the stroller on the sidewalk.

All of that would be wearing if I had normal stamina, but I don't. Just keeping up with Delia at home can be a challenge. Taking her out is exhausting, but I want her to get used to being around other people and to enjoy being out. And I really, really don't want her to pick up my fear of going out. I've decided to bribe myself. Each time I take her out, I'm treating myself to one volume of manga, something that's not on my standing order at the Underworld. At the moment, I've got a few things on my shelf waiting for me to earn them (getting to the bookstore is a big deal these days, so I'm not going to be able to make a separate trip each time). I've been resisting the impulse to cheat and read them now.

Wednesday, we visited the farmers' market, getting off the bus a couple of stops before downtown. I walked through part of it with Delia still in the stroller then stopping a quiet corner to take her out and put her harness on. (This is the leash we bought for our trip to Florida, to use in the airport. I always feel a bit embarrassed putting it on her, but it keeps her from taking off faster than I can follow or disappearing behind things or...) She was much more interested in the adjacent parking lot than she was in the rest of the market. I had to work to keep her from walking under some of the trucks. Then she found a stairway going down. I had to haul her away from it because she was determined to try it. Sadly, she's now old enough that she remembers such things even when she can no longer see them, so we fought for the next little while over whether or not I was going to let her go back. Finally, she found a two step stair and went up and down that for about 10 minutes.

We've also been to the library, once on our own and once for our normal playgroup. Delia keeps trying to make a break out of the children's room for the main library. I think it's because she wants me to chase her, but the fact that there are large staircases just outside the kids' room may also play a part. The library has a little closed in garden that I like when it's warm enough. Delia can't get out of it, so I don't have to chase her quite so closely. I can stroll after her, just keeping her in sight (The only reason I have to follow at all is that there are bushes that block my view when she's in certain places). I can also feed her snacks there without breaking library rules, and I very much want her to respect the idea that food and drinks don't belong in libraries. (Though I have discovered that nobody seems to consider a baby bottle or sippy cup to break no food, no drink rules.)

Comments

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I used toddler leashes for both of the Monsters, and occasionally had to deal with people making smart assed remarks about them being "children! Not dogs!". They usually shut up when I asked pointedly if they would rather the child in question be close to his mother, or running about and being annoying.

Toddler leashes are nothing to be embarrassed about. They keep your kid from taking off AND from getting snatched, with the added bonus of letting said kid feel independent (not having to hold Mama's hand.)

[the_rck]

It's good to hear from another parent who's used a toddler leash. None of the people I deal with regularly have used such a thing. When I go out, I don't see other parents using them, so I always wonder if I'm doing something wrong.

But it really does keep Delia safer. I know where she is, and I can slow her down enough that I can keep up with her. She's always refused to hold my hand when we go out, so that's never been an option. The safety from the leash is worth a lot more than the approval or disapproval of strangers on the street.

[retsuko.livejournal.com]

I don't think leashes should be used for every kid, but I also think that people should keep their mouths shut about other people's parenting choices. From what you describe about Toddler D's disposition, the leash is the only viable option for the two of you to get out together. If others don't want to do things that way with their children, they can, but in the meantime, they should leave you alone about. IMHO.

*shakes fist at busy-body people of the world* ;-)

[the_rck]

Given that Delia refuses to hold my hand, I do think that the leash is the best option for us. I don't use it when we're walking around the neighborhood, but in places where there are a lot of people or a lot routes she can take that I can't (under tables, under parked trucks, etc.), I really want to be able to limit where she runs off to. I suppose I could do it by terrifying her, but... I'm not about to do that.