(no subject)

[the_rck]

::bangs head:: Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I started the day okay, but I made one mistake, and I'm afraid it's going to haunt me for a while.

I slept enough to take the edge off the headache I've had for the last few days. When I got up, Delia was still asleep, so I had leisure for making my instant coffee and checking my e-mail.

Then, after I'd had a couple of sips of coffee, Delia started crying and calling for Mama. That's not her normal morning behavior (usually, she climbs out of bed and comes looking for me to snuggle), so I hurried into her room. The first thing she said on knowing that I was there was, "I love you, Mama."

Then she stood up on her bed for a hug. The bed's high enough that I only have to bend a little to hug her when she's standing on it. I did that.

My mistake was picking her up. I don't do it often because I know that it's stupid. I've been under doctor's advice not to lift/carry more than fifteen pounds for well over fifteen years. I risk more frequently because it's damned hard to live without picking up anything heavier than that. Delia has added a layer of complication because, when she seems to really need me, I have great difficulty thinking sensibly of consequences. Prior to today, I've been lucky and never hurt myself, but--

Right now, my middle back is screaming at me. I can't take anything for it because I took anaprox at 12:30 last night for my headache (also, NSAIs tend not to help me when I have muscle, tendon or ligament pain). I have some flexeril that I might try later today if things don't get better, but I don't like to take it when I'm home alone with Delia. Sometimes it doesn't affect me at all, and sometimes it makes me very groggy.

I also have to figure out what to do with the rest of today. I'd planned to take Delia out to keep her from being too crazy tonight when we're trying to get her and Scott both into bed and asleep early. I'm just not sure I can manage the tramping around and carrying things that would be involved.

Going to the library involves carrying books, a change of clothes, pull-ups for after accidents, plastic bags for wet clothes, a water bottle and so on and pushing Delia in the stroller (I need the stroller because I can't carry her). Going to the Hands-On Museum gets rid of the books but adds in a requirement that I stay on my feet the whole time. I already rejected the morning activities (the last of the year) because we woke up latish and because it would mean so much time on my feet.

Why did I have to be stupid? ::sighs:: Delia is *four*. She weighs about thirty-five pounds. I can't pick her up any more. I haven't been able to carry her without hurting myself for the better part of a year (that's the big reason we worked so hard at getting her to fall asleep in her own bed. When she doesn't, I can't move her. That's not so awful if she's on the couch, but when she's in our bed, in the place I would normally sleep and not leaving enough space for me.... a problem.)

And here I thought that nothing was going to make the weekend worse...

Comments

[retsuko.livejournal.com]

I don't think you were being stupid. I think you were being a good Mom, and that overrode some of your back-preservation instincts.

*gentle hugs* I wish I could help out. Know that I am sending good vibes your way.

[the_rck]

::hugs back:: I appreciate the good vibes.

I need to learn some new instincts. Hurting my back makes it harder to do all of the other Mom things I need to do. It's just hard when she's crying.

[alessar.livejournal.com]

Hugs are good!

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Oh jeez. Gentle hugs, back massage, heating pads, and maybe a cabana boy just to keep Scott on his toes. ;)

[jss]

Like Scott'd be worried about a cabana boy?

[the_rck]

::laughs:: He probably wouldn't be. I doubt the cabana boy would have the range of conversation to compete.

[jss]

OK, you keep Scott, and I'll have the cabana boy. O:-)

[the_rck]

Thanks for the good wishes.

The cabana boy might be useful while Scott's at work...

[kyrielle]

*hugs* Sympathy. I can totally understand why you did what you did. Perhaps you can teach your instincts to change enough to sit next to her and scoop her onto your lap instead? *hugs*

[the_rck]

Once we replace her current bedframe with one that will support adult weight, I'll certainly be sitting down on her bed. We have the frame. We just have to find time to put it together. (Okay, *Scott* has to find time to put it together. Hand tremors and hand tools do not complement each other.)

Which is to say that I'm usually smart enough to sit down and then pull Delia into my lap. I'm just not always smart enough to go find a place to sit when she's crying.

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

**big hug**

I wish I'd seen this posting sooner. Arlo was off school today, so it'd have been fine to have another kid around here all day, if it would have been helpful for me to borrow Delia.

I hope your back surprises you and feels better much faster than expected.

[the_rck]

It would have been helpful, actually. Oh for a time machine! ::grins:: I should have thought to ask.

I think I've simply pulled a muscle, so it's not as bad as it could be. I'm avoiding bending and lifting as much as I can, but I can move and don't seem to be making anything worse by doing so.

[scribblemoose]

Ag, sorry to hear that.

And I popped by mostly to say Happy Birthday. *hugs* I hope you have a good day, and find some time amid the pain and responsibilities to celebrate yourself. *hugs*

[the_rck]

::hugs back:: Thanks!

I do think it will be an okay day. I've got a couple of people who'll be stopping by for at least brief visits, so it won't be just me and Delia (this is especially good because it's raining. Delia can't run around outside just now).

[evalerie.livejournal.com]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope it does turn out to be a good one!