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May. 20th, 2008 03:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_rckI'm tired. The last two weekends have been taken up with family stuff, and the next two will be, too. I hate May sometimes. Starting with Mother's Day and ending some time in mid-June, there's something going on with Scott's family pretty much every weekend. I like my in-laws, but I also like having a chance to sleep, to read and to hang out with people who aren't them. May also isn't helped by all of the pre-school related stuff going on as the school year winds down. This is when things have to be tidied up, when summer arrangements have to be made and so on.
I'm just tired.
I'm tired enough that, when Scott's asking what I want for my birthday, I can't think of anything. I have a list of things that are nice in theory but that I don't really want right now. I don't have energy for reading books or watching DVDs if I get new ones. (I know. I log a lot of them, but those are the ones that I don't have to work at very hard. I have time for more. I just can't manage them otherwise.) I don't even really want gift certificates right now. The idea of trying to go shopping for books or yarn is exhausting.
That scares me a little. Book shopping is what I used to do when I was depressed. I didn't need to buy anything necessarily (though I often did). Just being around the books helped me feel better. I'm afraid that this might be a symptom of depression. I don't think I'm depressed so much as exhausted, but I'm not sure I'd know. Well, maybe I'll have a better feel for it after the three day headache is gone. Those tend to skew my perceptions a lot.
I'm afraid that Scott's family will give me decorative junk or jewelry or other clutter. I feel bad about getting rid of it (or, like one Christmas present-- a large snow globe Nativity scene with a metal, windup, musical base-- I have no idea how to get rid of it without throwing it out. Anybody local want that?). I can't ask them for dresses or bras because both are too expensive. Plus, Scott's parents won't order anything online. They're afraid that Bad Things will happen.
I'm just tired.
I'm tired enough that, when Scott's asking what I want for my birthday, I can't think of anything. I have a list of things that are nice in theory but that I don't really want right now. I don't have energy for reading books or watching DVDs if I get new ones. (I know. I log a lot of them, but those are the ones that I don't have to work at very hard. I have time for more. I just can't manage them otherwise.) I don't even really want gift certificates right now. The idea of trying to go shopping for books or yarn is exhausting.
That scares me a little. Book shopping is what I used to do when I was depressed. I didn't need to buy anything necessarily (though I often did). Just being around the books helped me feel better. I'm afraid that this might be a symptom of depression. I don't think I'm depressed so much as exhausted, but I'm not sure I'd know. Well, maybe I'll have a better feel for it after the three day headache is gone. Those tend to skew my perceptions a lot.
I'm afraid that Scott's family will give me decorative junk or jewelry or other clutter. I feel bad about getting rid of it (or, like one Christmas present-- a large snow globe Nativity scene with a metal, windup, musical base-- I have no idea how to get rid of it without throwing it out. Anybody local want that?). I can't ask them for dresses or bras because both are too expensive. Plus, Scott's parents won't order anything online. They're afraid that Bad Things will happen.
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-20 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-20 08:56 pm (UTC)