(no subject)

[the_rck]

I'm about ready to strangle both my mother and my father over summer plans. I'm (not surprisingly) more annoyed with my father than with my mother. Of course, I have higher expectations of my mother. If she were doing what my father is, I'd be calling for a psych eval. If my father was doing what my mother is.... I'd also call for a psych eval. In the former case, I'd be worried about illness and in the latter about impersonation. (Though why anyone would want to impersonate my father....)

Basically, each one will be visiting Michigan some time this summer. My father will be coming some time during July, staying some unspecified amount of time and expecting me to transport myself and my daughter to where he is. My mother will be coming for a wedding in early August. She's committed to particular dates (based on when the dog sitter is available), and Scott's been able to get time off for the wedding.

I broke down and cried on Scott over the stress of things last week. At that point, I didn't have dates from my mother, and I had no idea how I could make any of this work. It was mixing with guilt and frustration over how long it's been since I've seen my father, my mother, my sister or my grandmother. It's been years in all cases and mostly comes down to the fact that I can't drive. With my grandmother, I don't even entirely have the excuse of distance. It's only a three hour drive (or a ten hour bus trip).

My father expects to stay with my grandmother or with his younger brother. The only way that Cordelia and I will get up there is with Scott's help. He can't get any time off in July, so he'll have to drive us up, immediately go home and then return for us later. I'm hoping that either one of my cousins can drive down to meet us halfway or my father can borrow a car to meet us part way.

Our timing is a bit hemmed in by the fact that Scott's brother and his family will be in Michigan for five days in early July and that we've been invited to a 50th wedding anniversary celebration the weekend after my brother-in-law and his family leave. We may have to skip part of my brother-in-law's visit or all of the anniversary party. I'm not comfortable with either, but it's been four years since we last saw my father (six years for my sister, four years for my half-sister and two for my grandmother and my mother).

I'm really, really glad that I chose to sign Cordelia up for camp in June and August rather than June and July. I'll have to reschedule at least one doctor's appointment to make things work.

Comments

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

I hope you can make this work out. :-(

[the_rck]

I think I'll be able to. It'll just be at the last minute and so extra stressful. Part of what makes me want to snarl at them is that they both know I have generalized anxiety. I'm not sure how they can miss knowing that this sort of thing makes me crazy.

[dspitzle.livejournal.com]

I assume you've >mentioned< that it's making you cry? You're certainly entitled. I mean, you're the kid in the relationship, there are intergenerational rules to be invoked.

[the_rck]

I haven't mentioned it because the response would be even less useful than the current state. My father would pull out histrionics about how it's all his fault but wouldn't do anything to change the situation. My step-father would take it as evidence that I'm really not mature enough to be treated as an adult. My mother would get cranky. She and my step-father also wouldn't change anything.

That's part of the frustration.

[retsuko.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear how stressful this is for you. I wish I could help out somehow.

*hugs*

[the_rck]

::hugs back:: Thanks. Venting helps, and you guys let me do that.