(no subject)

[the_rck]

I’m finding my anxiety really frustrating right now because the point at which I realize I need an Ativan is generally several hours after when I needed to take it in order to get any benefit from it. When I wake with a migraine or get up after almost no sleep (and all of it anxiety dreams) or when I have massive anxiety related reflux, it’s too damned late for the Ativan to make me feel better.

The Ativan won’t help at all when I’m groping my way through my day due to having not slept worth anything. The Ativan also won’t help much when my body is responding to stress that is already past. That’s a common thing for me and often more disabling than the impact of the anxiety on my ability to do what has to be done because the physical impact accumulates, building up pain and brain fog and… It all makes doing the next thing that much harder and that much more likely to have worse effects on my body.

I’m about 85% sure that the reflux trouble I had Monday night/Tuesday morning was my body’s reaction to dealing with two appointments and all of the time outside the house between them during the preceding day. I’m currently debating taking an Ativan before bed. I don’t want to, but I have an appointment tomorrow. It’s not an appointment that would usually be all that hard, but it’s a week when I’m already thoroughly stressed out, and we have a meeting to go to tomorrow evening.

But I might actually need an Ativan more for the meeting (required informational thing for Community, one of the schools Cordelia is considering. There are later sessions, but putting it off will ratchet up my anxiety. Also, the others don’t fit our schedule nearly so well) in the evening. There are going to be a lot of people, and I’d be surprised if the space is particularly large. I don’t deal well with that at all. I’m not supposed to take more than one in twenty four hours. I don’t know— Maybe one now and then one tomorrow at bedtime to deal with some of the after effects of the appointment and the meeting?

I might actually be fine if I wait. I just also might not. I feel okay right now, but I might not realize there’s a problem until 2-4 hours after I go to bed. I’m terrible at acknowledging that I need help sleeping. And waking with a migraine isn’t something I’d know about until Scott’s alarm goes off.

Comments

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're so stressed and anxious.