(no subject)

[the_rck]

I talked to Scott last night while Cordelia was in the shower. He says that he keeps having some idea that we should do more family stuff during December, heading into Christmas, but the only specific thing he could come up with was baking. I pointed out that it's never been Yuletide that has kept me (or him) from baking. Last year, it was Cordelia's illness. The year before that, it was me recovering from radiation. I still managed fudge for tree decorating day both years.

He admitted, though, that part of it is that he has absolutely nothing in his life that he enjoys the way I do writing. He could enjoy GMing that way, but two of the five players in our group show up for maybe one session in four, and one of the others is having major family health crises right at the moment. We don't expect to see him for a while. Even if we were meeting reliably, we have a session every other week.

I'm not going to suggest online rp of the type generally done on DW to him because I think it would contain all the things he doesn't like and none of the stuff he does. I know there are options for playing games in places like Discord, but I know damn all about them. They'd also require what Scott refers to as 'sorting out the wingnuts.'

Reading, watching TV/movies, playing board/card games on his laptop (either solo or with friends online) doesn't do it.

Scott's as trapped and stressed by what's going on with Cordelia as I am. I wonder if he's depressed? I'm not sure how to find a way to address that possibility given his schedule.

The furnace repair we had scheduled for today has been put off due to the technician being out sick. I'm trying to decide what to do with my morning now. I've made one phone call and am waiting for it to be returned. I need to make one more phone call and have two others that I should make but that aren't nearly as urgent.

I'm also really, really tired, and I want to take a walk, and I want to write.

I think I need to make that other call and then lie down.

Comments

[ayebydan]

I have found that discord has many servers. Personally, I have had good experiences with it using it as a queer chat space and as a gaming discussion platform. I have never played as such on it but if the gaming groups are chill enough I can imagine the gaming platforms are decent too. I saw far less of the 'girl ew wtf' and more of the 'eh well, not how I would do it but do carry on?' sorts. Yes you need to weed things out but, I guess if you are passionate about something that isn't an issue.

What about sports? Watching or doing?

But yeah either way his lack of enjoyment is no reason to prevent you from engaging with yours. At the end of the day it seems to me that your escape from it all is your writing. Scott at least has work.

[the_rck]

Scott doesn't enjoy watching sports unless Cordelia's playing. Even then, it's not enjoyment of the sport as a sport. As to playing himself, his job involves physical labor 8-12 hours a day, 5-7 days a week.

I'll see if I can get Scott to investigate Discord. He needs a creative outlet, and writing doesn't work for him. Even just game related discussion might help because that's an area where he has opinions about people being Wrong on the internet (mostly because he thinks that the right way to run a game, regardless of system, changes depending on what the participants enjoy). He usually takes glee in arguing with prescriptivists.

[syderia]

Is there a role-playing club (or a role-playing night at a social-oriented place) that he might join?

Could he start a blog about role-playing?

[the_rck]

Scott has a lot of trouble writing anything as formal as a blog post. It's a diagnosed learning disability. He manages on Facebook but only just. I think that going more toward a chat style would work better for him.

I don't know about clubs. As far as I know, we have nothing of the sort in the area. It's a hobby that really only works with a small, consistent group that meets regularly.

[lunabee34]

Hugs.

This is really hard and draining on all 3 of you. I'd be astounded if he wasn't depressed.

[the_rck]

Yeah. Getting him to put any resources into himself will be hard, though.

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

[wendelah1]

Depression seems likely, given everything your family has been through the past couple of years. I don't know that pointing that out will help him, unfortunately.

You make fudge for tree decorating. That sounds so cool. (It's been years since we've put up a tree and we won't do it this year either. We'd have to bolt it to the wall. Nina kitty is a climber.)

[the_rck]

As I feared, Scott says there's no time to address whatever's going on with him. Which I suppose goes along with him having no sympathy for me needing support. I found a local support group for parents dealing with this stuff, but it meets tonight. If we'd had more lead time...

Cordelia's best friend joins us for tree decorating, and she loves fudge. If I prepare nothing else for that day, I make fudge.

Before Cordelia, we only did a tiny tree, an artificial one about 18 inches tall. Now we've got a more normal sized tree (still artificial).

[jerusha]

It could definitely be depression. You guys have had a lot of stressors lately, and depression in men tends to come out in different ways than in women. Not always, but a lot of the time.

Have you guys looked into Meetups in your area for board games or role playing games? Tyson has done one, and while the results were mixed, it's at least a possibility. There may also be regular game nights at a local hobby shop that sells D&D materials, Magic cards, etc. I know there was in Lincoln, and Tyson and my cousin went to one of the games. I think they had a good time.

[the_rck]

There are occasional board game afternoons, but Scott only makes it a couple of times a year because he's either working or giving priority to things home/family related because he only has one day a week.

Role playing games are even harder because they require the same small group of people, 3-7 people, to be available repeatedly. If someone cancels, you can't play.