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Sep. 16th, 2017 01:19 pmGetting to Skyline yesterday was stressful, and getting home was worse. The bus company website doesn't actually provide accurate information about the bus line that runs out there-- The schedule I could access on my phone claimed two buses around when school starts and three around when it ends with nothing in between. I knew it was a lie, but I couldn't get the site to cough up anything else. The first bus to come by as I waited was going to go out of service at the next stop, so I had to wait another half an hour for a bus to come.
What I really wanted to do was to find somewhere to get coffee and food and to sit for a while before I dealt with the bus, but there is absolutely nothing out by Skyline. Zilch. To walk anywhere useful, I'd have to cross three traffic circles, two of them connected to highway entrances/exits, and none of them having any design considerations for possible pedestrians. By the time I was actually on the bus, the idea of getting off again was horrific. I didn't do it until I had to transfer downtown.
It wasn't quite 10:30 when I got downtown, and I didn't feel like I could walk to try to find somewhere to sit and try to calm myself, so I just walked down the block to where the bus I needed would come.
I left both my water bottle and Cordelia's somewhere along the way. I only realized that I didn't have them when I was gathering my things to get off the bus at the stop by our house. They might be at the Skyline bus stop. They might be on the bus I took into town. They might be at the transit center. I couldn't deal with calling to try to find them, so they're gone. Scott bought me a replacement that I need to wash before I start using.
I can't tell how much of how bad going back and forth to Skyline was yesterday was due to it coming at the end of a horrible, horrible week and how much was the trip being intrinsically difficult for me. It's probably a bit of both.
I got pretty angry at Scott yesterday (and a few times earlier in the week) because he wasn't bothering to give me any encouraging words or anything. He gave Cordelia a lot, and he was having an awful week, too, but it would have been nice to get a comment indicating that he had my back on anything at all. I don't think he realizes how much he left me flapping in the wind all week. If I asked for something very specific, he'd do it, but there wasn't anything at all that I didn't ask for. Not even a "I know this is hard for you, but you can do it."
I think Scott also doesn't realize that Cordelia going to Community gave me a brief feeling of intense relief that I wouldn't have to deal with a huge, huge problem that I've seen coming for literally years-- The problem of me getting her from school for appointments and then back to school after. Nothing about the trips I've made to Skyline has made the problem seem less severe or more easily addressed. I really am thinking that Scott going to third shift may be the only sustainable solution, but if he does that, him ever getting back to first shift is unlikely.
I suppose the first thing I have to do is to find out whether or not I can get Skyline to let Cordelia sign herself out for documented appointments and then back in again after. That would make things actually manageable and could be argued as an accommodation for my disability every bit as much as letting me use the elevator when I visit the building.
I'm really, really hoping that next week I can start doing something other than putting out immediate fires. I don't think writing is going to happen while Cordelia's home because she tends to turn up and sit next to me for twenty to thirty minutes at a time and express disapproval over me using my laptop at all. She also reads what's on my screen.
Today's main goal is to read some library books so I can return them tomorrow. I've got more than I like just sitting on my shelf unopened. Also, the interlibrary loan stuff needs getting through quickly. The system won't let me request multiple volumes of the same manga title at once because it considers them all the same book in spite of the numbering difference. This means that from October 1st until maybe April next year, I won't be able to move forward on Natsume's Book of Friends, Case Closed (Detective Conan), or Prince of Tennis. That last is particularly frustrating because the library is missing 29-32 and 36. It has 33-35 and 37-40 (are there volumes out beyond 40? I don't know. I haven't looked yet). I have v.29 waiting for me to pick it up. If I read it fast and return it immediately, I might be able to get v.30 by the end of the month. I just don't see managing four volumes in that time because of the time it takes to get ILL books.
I also have a movie that's due tomorrow and can't be renewed. I can probably either finish it today or reach a point in it where I'm sure I don't care about finishing.
Cordelia has a birthday party to go to later this afternoon. They're going to a Tigers game as part of it. They did the same last year for this girl's birthday. My guess is that they'll have fun again and that it will be rather more about being there as a group of friends than about the game.
What I really wanted to do was to find somewhere to get coffee and food and to sit for a while before I dealt with the bus, but there is absolutely nothing out by Skyline. Zilch. To walk anywhere useful, I'd have to cross three traffic circles, two of them connected to highway entrances/exits, and none of them having any design considerations for possible pedestrians. By the time I was actually on the bus, the idea of getting off again was horrific. I didn't do it until I had to transfer downtown.
It wasn't quite 10:30 when I got downtown, and I didn't feel like I could walk to try to find somewhere to sit and try to calm myself, so I just walked down the block to where the bus I needed would come.
I left both my water bottle and Cordelia's somewhere along the way. I only realized that I didn't have them when I was gathering my things to get off the bus at the stop by our house. They might be at the Skyline bus stop. They might be on the bus I took into town. They might be at the transit center. I couldn't deal with calling to try to find them, so they're gone. Scott bought me a replacement that I need to wash before I start using.
I can't tell how much of how bad going back and forth to Skyline was yesterday was due to it coming at the end of a horrible, horrible week and how much was the trip being intrinsically difficult for me. It's probably a bit of both.
I got pretty angry at Scott yesterday (and a few times earlier in the week) because he wasn't bothering to give me any encouraging words or anything. He gave Cordelia a lot, and he was having an awful week, too, but it would have been nice to get a comment indicating that he had my back on anything at all. I don't think he realizes how much he left me flapping in the wind all week. If I asked for something very specific, he'd do it, but there wasn't anything at all that I didn't ask for. Not even a "I know this is hard for you, but you can do it."
I think Scott also doesn't realize that Cordelia going to Community gave me a brief feeling of intense relief that I wouldn't have to deal with a huge, huge problem that I've seen coming for literally years-- The problem of me getting her from school for appointments and then back to school after. Nothing about the trips I've made to Skyline has made the problem seem less severe or more easily addressed. I really am thinking that Scott going to third shift may be the only sustainable solution, but if he does that, him ever getting back to first shift is unlikely.
I suppose the first thing I have to do is to find out whether or not I can get Skyline to let Cordelia sign herself out for documented appointments and then back in again after. That would make things actually manageable and could be argued as an accommodation for my disability every bit as much as letting me use the elevator when I visit the building.
I'm really, really hoping that next week I can start doing something other than putting out immediate fires. I don't think writing is going to happen while Cordelia's home because she tends to turn up and sit next to me for twenty to thirty minutes at a time and express disapproval over me using my laptop at all. She also reads what's on my screen.
Today's main goal is to read some library books so I can return them tomorrow. I've got more than I like just sitting on my shelf unopened. Also, the interlibrary loan stuff needs getting through quickly. The system won't let me request multiple volumes of the same manga title at once because it considers them all the same book in spite of the numbering difference. This means that from October 1st until maybe April next year, I won't be able to move forward on Natsume's Book of Friends, Case Closed (Detective Conan), or Prince of Tennis. That last is particularly frustrating because the library is missing 29-32 and 36. It has 33-35 and 37-40 (are there volumes out beyond 40? I don't know. I haven't looked yet). I have v.29 waiting for me to pick it up. If I read it fast and return it immediately, I might be able to get v.30 by the end of the month. I just don't see managing four volumes in that time because of the time it takes to get ILL books.
I also have a movie that's due tomorrow and can't be renewed. I can probably either finish it today or reach a point in it where I'm sure I don't care about finishing.
Cordelia has a birthday party to go to later this afternoon. They're going to a Tigers game as part of it. They did the same last year for this girl's birthday. My guess is that they'll have fun again and that it will be rather more about being there as a group of friends than about the game.
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